First experience of ED-Help and Advice Needed

[FreakedaboutED Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close FreakedaboutED]

Hi there. I'm 31 and just had my first experience of embarassing ED, so I'm happy I found this site.

Granted, I've read enough to know plenty of factors can contribute to ED, but at this point, if it's anything physical, I want to stop it in it's tracks. Here's my plan.

I smoke. I've smoked for 15 years. Never had a problem with getting an erection, especially through oral until last Saturday. Nothing. Nothing at all. I tried manually, nothing. And I guess, previously now that I think of it, when masturbating my erections haven't been as hard I would want them to be, so I don't just think it was the woman I was with...Although, I wasn't really attracted to her very much physically I do have to say (and I'm sure the feeling is mutual now..hahaha...anyways)

I plan to stop smoking asap. I don't think there could have been a bigger wakeup call to stop smoking than being Mr. Limp when it was gametime. My question is: Will stopping smoking make a marked change in my ability to respond and the hardness of my erections? If so, how long does this typically take?

I already bought some fish oil softgel capsules. I plan to start taking these. Additionally, with help from this site I've read horny goat weed and L-Arginine are good supplements to invest in as well. I think I'll start with these three. Is there anything else I should add to this list as a must for supplements? When should I start to notice positive improvements if I will have any? Are there any negative side effects to any of these supplements taking them at recommended dosages?

Additionally, I already work out 4-5 times a week, so I'll keep this up. I'm not overweight and I don't eat a ton of junk food, nor do I drink alcohol hardly ever, but I was drinking this last Saturday (but I was just slightly buzzed, not bombed, so I doubt that played a significant role).

Finally, I don't want to investigate prescription drugs unless I have to. Having never asked for them, are drugs like Viagra, etc covered by insurance? I really want to avoid these and I think it makes sense to try natural alternatives first.

Any additional help/advice is appreciated. Please help. I need it and some confidence back.

[kenlee6 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close kenlee6]

Hi FreakedaboutED

Welcome to the forum. Thre's a lot of factors contributing to ED. It's very hard to say what causes your ED. It might be the smoking or it can be your masturbation habit. Is this a sudden onset?? Or does it gradually became worse over some time??

You can continue those supplements that you are currently taking. For a time being, try to stop masturbation for 1 -2 weeks and cut down on smoking.

Do you get midnight/early morning erection???

Try these and you wil see some difference.

[Batwoman Moderator ReservePEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Batwoman]

Freaked, can you tell us a bit more about what happened? The circumstances, whether it was with a new partner or someone you've been with before, etc.?

[calixto ModeratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close calixto]

This really sounds like a one-time deal. I mean, the smoking is never good (except for the occasional cigar and whatnot) and hell being 31, you shouldn't have any prostate things going on.

This is what makes me think this is a good ol' fashion case of the stubborn penis. Maybe he (your penis) knew something you didn't, and just didn't wanna plow that chick.

You never know, but the last few posts before this one are asking the right questions. The main one being, was this the first time you experienced a complete lack of erection.

Sure your quality might be low at times, but was the the first time of a TOTAL LACK of boner?

Anyway, get some Yohimbe, begin a PE routine (JP's 90 day routine is the best and most popular) and quit smoking, or at least cut WAY BACK.

[FreakedaboutED Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close FreakedaboutED]

Thanks guys for the feedback. And to add more details to the story.

Haven't had the real thing (actual sex with another person) for about 6 months. So I think I can honestly say I was masterbating roughly once a day for the past 6 months prior to having this encounter.

I had something similar to this happen, about 6 months ago (with a woman I had just met), but while I wasn't responding the first time with the woman I was with, the next night it was on and everything was cool. So maybe a bit of performance anxiety.

And yes, this woman (from Saturday) was new. I've only known her for a short while (2 weeks-Was a friend of a friend), was probably most drawn to her personality (we got along well), and she was playing hard to get, so I think basically I was curious to see well, how far can I take things with someone I am not sure if they're into me. So definitely probably did not have the best sexually based thoughts in my head.

I used to get morning wood, but I can't remember the last time I did. I'm not sure if masturbating before I go to bed has any impact on this. And as I said, the erections I receive when I masturbate just don't regularly seem as hard as they should.

Thanks for the input so far.

[Batwoman Moderator ReservePEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Batwoman]

It sounds to me like (A) you are out of practice for duo sex, (B) you have performance anxiety with new partners, and (C) you didn't really want this girl very much anyway (sexually speaking). Also, since you are over 30 now it can take more effort to get hard -- you have to have more things going right (like chemistry) before you can really get into it.

Do you watch porn when you masturbate? A lot of guys here have been reporting that they have ED issues related to getting too used to porn -- they are desensitized, and seem to have a hard time sometimes with live partners.

Your problems with morning wood sound to me like a combination of regular masturbation and age. Guys over 30 just cannot go as often as younger guys. I would expect that cumming every night before bed would definitely have an effect at your age -- your refractory period may just be longer now, hence no morning wood. Also, do you get enough sleep, or have a lot of stress at work? Those things can affect you too.

On the bright side, I think all this adds up to there being absolutely nothing wrong with you. You need to get back into practice with real live partners, and perhaps change some of your other habits (smoking, porn [if you watch a lot], etc.) There is no cure for age, but there are a lot of guys here who are older than you and have immensely improved their EQ (erection quality), control, and size (if that is a priority for you) by working at it. PE and all the things you will learn on this site can set you straight in no time.

[nitestick Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close nitestick]

Freaked -Batwoman is right on all accounts. I used to masturbate daily into my early thirties -now at nearly forty, I hardly have the urge but every few weeks. My dick used to tell me when and where, and now I tell it, ya' know? Just part of aging.

I have a variety of issues she described and I'm gearing up for a massive lifestyle change soon... prompted by symptoms of ED and a 20 year class reunion. Some of my factors are:

A. Worked two jobs for last four years.
B. Rarely get more than 4-6 hours of sleep at a time -No REM or dreams almost ever.
C. Chew tobacco constantly.
D. Drink coffee well into the afternoon
E. Overweight/out of shape
F. Bad Diet
G. Slightly prone to depression

I have little control over A, B, & G, but two years ago I made a change on the others... went from Mcmuffin to morning smoothie, hit the gym, drank tons of water, etc... I had a huge improvement and semi-frequent morning wood. I have to get back on the health kick... maybe you do too?

[adi Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close adi]

Welcome to the Gym bud!

I was in exact position as you 2 weeks ago....was having sex with a girl (whom was my girlfriend's friend, shame on me) and couldn't get hard at all. Actually I was experiencing limb unit from past 3 months, but my gf never made me realize that (another reason why one must love his gf) but this experience was a wake-up call for me.

I will tell you what I did, I am 26 and I was taking Saw Palmetto and L-Arginine from 3 months but was not doing any PE.
I stopped these supplements. Switched to Simple Multi-Vitamins & Erection tea that Kingpole suggested. And started light PE with more focus on Kegels.
Just last week I had sex and man I could tell the difference....I was very hard (if not rock hard) and had no erection problems. Courtesy - this forum and the people here (specially KP for guiding me a lot and others for encouragement)

Also, take it easy on workout part, if I workout too much my performance in the bed gets affected.

I am sure you will get rid of this problem very soon. Good Luck!

[FreakedaboutED Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close FreakedaboutED]

Thanks again for the welcoming advice.

Well, it definitely sounds like I need to check out the PE routines suggested on this site. And find out what PE stands for...hahaha..But seriously I do.

Also, I hardly drink any actual water. I drink a lot (5-6 cans a day) of caffeinated soda. Is a lack of adequate water intake a factor of ED or poor reaction time/EQ?

I don't feel like I have a ton of stress at work and I do my best to receive adequate sleep. Unfortunately, I'll do my best to not masturbate for 2 weeks and see how that goes. I always watch porn when I masturbate, but do not watch porn other than at those times. I definitely see a connection how that could desensitize me to the real world. And speaking of masturbation, after say taking my supplements, not masturbating for a couple weeks, doing the PE routines, is masturbating a good test run for response time and EQ? Or is it a matter of waiting till an opportunity arises (pun intended) and seeing how things go with a partner? I guess part of me would be fearful, if I didn't know ahead of time, that nothing had changed if I didn't test things out before. Also, what is considered a "healthy" amount of masturbation? I don't want to give up masturbating forever!!!

As for the last post which kind of suggested that maybe I stop the supplements, I'm undecided on which way to go. I have been taking a multi-vitamin (One a Day for Men's Health-I think), in addition to some Vitamin D tabs for about 2 years. Is there really any downside to starting up on the fish oil, L-Arginine, and Horny Goat Weed (I think I could use some libido increase as well)? And the final question is kind of dumb....For the erection tea, I've never drank coffee or tea, so I don't own anything to brew it in. Can it be done say by microwaving water and adding the noted ingredients, or do I have to invest in something to make it? I know it's a dumb question, but I'm totally foreign to the world of brewing anything.

Bottomline, I need to devote some more time into reading the wealth of info this site provides. Thanks again to all who responded.

[Batwoman Moderator ReservePEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Batwoman]

The guys here will give you different answers about how much a healthy amount of masturbation is -- and their answers will depend on a lot on their age. Personally I don't think there is any problem with a guy masturbating several times a week (or even more if he feels like it) -- the important thing is to stop using porn to get aroused. Use your mind instead. If you can't get it up by thinking sexy thoughts, chances are you don't really feel like cumming anyway, so just skip it. If you get really hot and horny just thinking about a woman, then you should go ahead and masturbate. In other words, let your body and mind tell you when you should. Porn overrides the natural signals in your body and can drive you to excess masturbation, I think, and this may be part of your problem. The desensitization effect can be pretty strong too, I think. But no need to wait until you have a lady at hand to cum again!

Also, check out the threads on edging. I think that is one of the best things a guy can do for EQ and to learn control, especially as he gets older.

As for brewing Erection Tea, yes, you can just boil a cup of water in the microwave. You can get green tea in teabags at the grocery store, and their are lots of hints in the Erection Tea thread about where to get the other ingredients. See https://www.pegym.com/forums/erectil...ction-tea.html

Good luck!

[jclewis Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close jclewis]

Well PERSONALLY, I have been sucessfull in my attempts to stop masturbating ( mainly with ejaculating) and no looking at porn. My gf lives in a different state.. so i have vowed to no ejaculate or look at porn and so far its been about 4 weeks. And All I can say is, not only are my erections harder and longer lasting now, but yesterday I could barely walk in certain places because my member was stiff through the day at parts. And thats something i dont even remember happeneing before. So its all workign well for me.