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Plateau Edging
Introduction:
The aim of this thread is to provide a guide as to how you can use edging most effectively to combat premature ejaculation, and as such plateau edging differs slightly from other more well known forms of edging. For the newest of you here, edging is simply masturbation, but with a goal other than simply orgasm and ejaculation.
If the edging style in this guide works for you, not only will you gain much more control over when you ejaculate, but more importantly, your sex life will be transformed, not only in duration but also in sensation. You will be able to experience pleasure that you probably didn’t even know existed and you will begin to look forward to and enjoy sex again.
However, edging is only one (large) part of the equation and works best in conjunction with other techniques such as a reverse kegel (RK) weighted routine, arousal control and pelvic floor relaxation through yoga and deep squats. Plenty of information is available onsite.
The main part of this article is in the section “The five steps of edging”, so if you’re not interested in the theory feel free to scroll straight down to that part, but I would recommend you read the whole thread to give you a better understanding and the best results from your edging.
The Causes of Premature Ejaculation:
Premature ejaculation is a result of both both physical and psychological factors. (There may also be a chemcial element as well but this is much less understood). It is uncommon for a premature ejaculator to have a solely physical or psychological problem, as it is usually a combination of both.
Physical- Involuntary tensing of your pelvic floor muscles drastically increases the pleasure you feel during stimulation, thus causing you to orgasm much quicker. This is often the result of rushed masturbation during your teen years. This is called an involuntary kegel (IK) due to its likeness to the kegel exercise. It can also be a build up of tension in the muscle, rather than spasms.
Psychological- This is about your inability to control pleasure. As soon as things start feeling good you know your orgasm will start shortly. This is because there is a deep rooted connection in your brain and nervous system that pleasure = orgasm. In essence, you are too focused on orgasm, both consciously and subconsciously.
Consciously, you may find yourself thinking about orgasm - "Crap, I'm going to cum soon" or "I'd like to cum all over that hot ass" are examples of how you could be doing this. The subconscious element is that as a result of many years of quick ejaculations, your brain is used to getting a quick dose of pleasure (dopamine) from stimulation and as such tries to make you orgasm more quickly. Because your brain is so focused on this intense dopamine rush, it does not know how to experience pleasure other than orgasm. When being stimulated, you find yourself going straight from no pleasure to orgasmic pleasure, with no moderate inbetween levels.
Therefore, to overcome premature ejaculation, the above two problems need to be fixed. You need to be able to receive stimulation while maintaining a relaxed pelvic floor and you need to resist the urge to reach orgasm quickly and therefore discover the in between pleasure levels which still feel amazingly good, but let you remain in control. This sort of pleasure is known as the plateau phase in the scientific world, and is something which premature ejaculators completely miss out on.
Plateau Edging:
Premature ejaculation is really quite a simple problem- you reach the point of no return (PONR) too quickly and therefore ejaculate too quickly. So, in order to beat premature ejaculation, all you need to do is stay away from the PONR. That is essentially plateau edging- staying away from the PONR. This differs from the better known start/stop edging, where the goal is just to stop when you reach the PONR and then take a short break and start again. The reason why start/stop can be ineffective is because it doesn’t teach you to prolong the time before PONR, and therefore doesn’t help you solve your problem. By staying away from the PONR, you teach your body to resist going straight for the dopamine rush of orgasm, and over time you can rewire this response completely. Start/stop edging is useful for developing control closer to the PONR and/or for dry orgasm (DO) training, but both of these are very advanced skills. It can also be used by complete beginners to help them gain a basic understanding of edging and their responses to stimulation.
However, there is a problem with staying away from the PONR too- you don’t feel much pleasure. You could stroke away slowly for ages with a blank mind, not feeling any pleasure and never reaching the PONR, but this won’t help you either because you won’t learn to control the pleasure you get from sexual stimulation and so will be overwhelmed by actual sex.
Proper plateau edging is about staying away from the PONR and still feeling pleasure. This is a hard concept from premature ejaculators to understand because for them the only pleasure they get is at orgasm. However, this is because they are too focused on orgasm (dopamine rush) and so compare all other pleasure to orgasm, and of course it does not feel as strong and powerful. Yet the plateau phase can feel just as good as orgasm, but whereas orgasm is strong, quick and overwhelming, plateau is gentle, long lasting and sensual. To start getting into the plateau phase, you need to forget about orgasm, and try and focus on feeling pleasure while still a long way from the PONR. Don’t think about ejaculation, just relax and try and enjoy yourself.
Plateau edging is essentially finding the highest pleasure you can experience while still remaining in control. The idea is that, by practicing at this maximum level, your body will start getting used to it, and consequently you will be able to gradually build this level higher and higher. The word "gradual" is the key here; each session should be a gradual build up to your maximum level, and overtime you should gradually build up this maximum level. You won't retrain your response by rushing, since rushing is likely what messed your response up in the first place. Eventually, this maximum level will become high enough so that it is extremely pleasurable, yet you still remain in control. This is the elusive plateau phase.
At first, your maximum pleasure won’t really feel that great because you have very little control. However, don’t be tempted to get close to orgasm because you won’t be able to access plateau in this way. Just relax, and maybe even try and trick yourself into believing its feeling good; remember part of the problem is you compare all pleasure to the intense sensations of orgasm. Just think to yourself “this feels nice”, “I’m enjoying this”, and who knows, maybe you actually will start to enjoy it. Aim for a nice gentle background pleasure, and then build this up gradually over many edging sessions, rather than jumping straight in at almost orgasmic pleasure.
The scientific theory behind plateau edging.
Quick Summary:
A more detailed guide follows in the "five steps of edging section", but to make things clearer I will post a quick summary of the ideas here.
As mentioned earlier, there are two sides of premature ejaculation, physical and psychological. Both need to be tackled. The physical side should be dealt with first, I won't go into detail since the information is all onsite, but essentially you need to do reverse kegels and other relaxation techniques. You can also deal with the physical side through edging. The best way is via the competing response method, whereby you use reverse kegel holds during edging to counter IK. I found the best way to stay relaxed was to hold a gentle RK for the duration of edging and being aware of any IK. See https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...aculation.html for more information.
Dealing with the psychological side is much more difficult and to a certain extent you must find your own way to deal with it. However, the fundamental idea is to learn to shift your subconscious focus away from orgasm and towards immersing yourself in controllable pleasure. It can be a good idea to follow an arousal control program, as these aim to teach you to focus on what's in front of you, rather than thinking about ejaculation. See https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...-response.html for more information.
The Five Steps of Edging:
Though your edging should always be gradually progressing to higher pleasure levels while still remaining in control, the general progression can be thought of as five separate stages.
1. Eliminating Involuntary Kegels (IK). While doing this, don't worry yourself about the plateau phase or feeling pleasure, the goal is simply to maintain a relaxed pelvic floor to give you a good foundation for the later stages. You need to become aware of IKs, so pay attention for any spasms. You can try placing a hand on your pelvic floor area and feeling for any movement. You may even find yourself holding a single long involuntary kegel for the duration. As mentioned earlier, the way to counter these is to use reverse kegels when you notice a spasm, or hold a light RK for the duration of edging. Also, have an out of sex RK routine. While in this stage, most of your edging should be done with a blank mind and a slow stroke rate, so you can focus on getting rid of those IK.
2. Arousal Control and IK. This stage is largely similar to the first stage, in that the primary goal is to eliminate IK. However, this stage involves the use of some imagination, in order to start getting some pleasure from your sessions. Don't go too overboard with the imagination though; you want to stay at fairly low arousal so you can control those IK. The idea is to learn to focus on staying calm with extra stimulation, and also learning to be aware of IK while being distracted. Imagination should be added in little by little, and you should simply return to a blank mind (no/little sexual thoughts) if you start reaching the PONR.
3. Aim for Plateau. Once you feel that you're getting the IK under control, you can move onto this, the most difficult stage. This is the hardest because here you need to focus on pleasure. After all, we don't want to stop feeling pleasure, we want to be able to control the pleasure. The problem is, pleasure for a premature ejaculator usually means orgasm and ejaculation. To start aiming for the plateau phase, you need to focus on any good feelings you get during edging. Think to yourself "this actually feels good". Realising that pleasure and orgasm are two separate things is the key to getting into plateau. However, don't let yourself think about orgasm or ejaculation, completely ignore them. You will probably need to add in more imagination and stimulation as you go along. At first, you will often become too aroused too quickly, and your IK will start acting up and you will get close to orgasm. Don't worry if this happens, just stop and try again. Remember to try and build arousal very slowly. It will take a long time to complete this stage because you are so used to associating pleasure with orgasm. This stage aims to associate pleasure with control. Unfortunately, there is only so much guidance I can give you here, as everyone must find their own unique way to access plateau. Chances are, you'll probably discover it by accident as you gain experience. Plateau should feel very good, but still controllable - a hard concept for premature ejaculators to understand.
4. Progress in Plateau. Once you get to plateau, it's easy sailing. All you've got to do now is practice getting there more often, so that it becomes second nature. Then, use the edging progression tips to help you practice staying in plateau under different circumstances. Most importantly, enjoy the sensations and make getting into plateau your body's new habit.
5. Wave Orgasms, Full Body Orgasms, DO and MMO. Once you've mastered plateau, you don't have to stop there. The way is open to progress to any number of new ideas. I won't write about them here, but there is plenty of information onsite. As a side note, some guys go for DO and MMO first, and then use their experience and observations from that to access plateau.
Your first edging session:
This is how you should edge while in the first stage, once you begin to progress it should be pretty obvious how to move onto the next stage, but I thought I should describe the first stage in detail so that you get the idea.
Before starting edging, try to be relaxed and have preferably at least half an hour of free time. Remember, you are trying to prolong the time before orgasm, so try and stay away from it, but if you do reach orgasm too quickly, try and stop before it's too late. To find a benchmark for where you should start, you need to try and edge in a way that it will be easiest to stay in control. This means:
Begin to edge. If you find yourself getting too aroused, feel free to stop. Pay attention to any involuntary kegels, as these can indicate you are too aroused. Try and stop IK by using reverse kegels. You can either apply one when you notice an IK, or hold a single, gentle RK for the duration of the session.
It is better to stop earlier rather than later, remember you are trying to rewire your brain to not want the intense pleasure of orgasm too early. Now hopefully, unless you have a very bad case, if you make it as easy as possible for yourself you should be able to edge for around 20 minutes without losing control in the manner described above. The aim here is simply to last 20 minutes without stopping, and to experience minimal involuntary kegels. Of course, this is very different to sex, and if you edge in this way forever it’s not really going to help. To transfer improvements over to the real deal, you need to make your edging more intense, but only when you are ready. A good first progression would be to add in more imagination.
Edging Progression:
During each of the five steps, you should start experimenting with some of the following progressions as you start gaining more control. This should help you stay in control under all circumstances, and make sure you a properly ready for the next stage:
Those were just a few examples, you are largely unlimited in what you do, but if you find something makes you too aroused, you are not ready to try it yet. You must start from the bottom with edging, and think of yourself as climbing a ladder. If you climb too fast, you'll fall off and do yourself more harm than good. Remember, try and edge at a level which you can just about control, and gradually add more challenges in.
The plateau phase explained:
This can be quite a difficult concept for premature ejaculators to understand, because many may not have experienced it before, or if they did will not have noticed it properly. This image from http://www.medscape.org/viewarticle/481427_15 explains it well (I haven't looked around the site since you need to be a member and it goes onto SSRI's etc, but still, this image is helpful):
pre e explained.jpg
The yellow line is premature ejaculation, the white is your typical guy, and I believe pink is MMO. The initial increase is the excitement phase, the flat line the plateau phase and the final spikes are orgasm(s). You can see the problem is too fast arousal and little/no plateau phase. I personally believe that many premature ejaculators have no plateau phase at all, which is what makes it so hard to access because it is an entirely new experience. So, to help fix your premature ejaculation you need first to get into the plateau phase, and then to extend it. Getting there in the first place can be the hardest part. The plateau phase should feel good but controllable. If it doesn't feel that good, you are probably still in the excitement phase, and if it's hard to control, you're likely to close to the orgasm phase. It is better to be on the excitement side rather than the orgasm side.
It may take many edging sessions before you actually manage to access the plateau phase. The best way to get there is increase your arousal as gradually as possible, as shown in the edging progression tips. You must also fix any physical unbalance/tension and alter your psyche away from being focused on orgasm. Don't get frustrated if it isn’t easy to access, as you must remember you’ve probably spent years skipping it out completely so it’s going to take a while to recondition your brain. Once you get there, you can improve your control over it simply by edging in there and keeping your arousal in check. If you have not experienced plateau phase properly, it is definitely worth trying to get there because it just feels good, natural and controllable.
Edging tips:
Don't directly aim to get into the plateau phase. Sex for people with pre e is always goal orientated. At first, it comes from aiming for quick orgasm during masturbation when they were younger, which started the problem in the first place. Then, when they realise they have a problem, the goal becomes lasting longer. This is the wrong attitude. You need to relax and just enjoy it. It's about changing your mindset, which isn't easy. Realise sex isn't a performance, it's just for your enjoyment and you'll soon be cured.
Relaxation is key, both mental and physical. The mental side can largely be fixed by edging for long periods of time and getting used to the sensations and a proper response, but the physical side may require more effort. You should have a routine to deal with this, but it is important not to involuntary kegel during edging. One way to avoid this is by holding a light reverse kegel to counter the involuntary kegels.
The frenulum and glans can be very sensitive, best to stay away from them at first.
It can be useful to set some edging sessions aside where you will not ejaculate at the end. This improves both discipline, and helps you teach the body that orgasm is not everything.
Don't be afraid to take rests. Accepting that progress may be slow and challenging is half of the battle. Premature ejaculators tend to be impatient and lack discipline. Curing premature ejaculation can end up being a lifestyle change.
Having a positive mindset is very important. You need to be thinking to yourself "I'm improving, I'm in control". It sounds silly but it seems to have a placebo effect - if you think its working it will work. Confidence also improves stamina greatly as well.
Enjoy your edging. It should feel good, and you need to learn to associate sexual pleasure with happy feelings, rather than the disappointment of it being over too quickly.
NEVER rush edging sessions. Similar to how you gradually build your arousal from session to session, each individual session must also be a gradual increase of arousal, so that your body learns to go excitement ---> plateau ---> orgasm (when you choose). Rushing simply reinforces the habit of skipping out plateau.
Keep a log. This can be a thread on site or a private notebook. In this you will note down observations from your sessions and also any general observations you make, these will help you understand your situation better and also provide inspiration for others and confidence for yourself later on when you look back on earlier posts you have made.
Introduction:
The aim of this thread is to provide a guide as to how you can use edging most effectively to combat premature ejaculation, and as such plateau edging differs slightly from other more well known forms of edging. For the newest of you here, edging is simply masturbation, but with a goal other than simply orgasm and ejaculation.
If the edging style in this guide works for you, not only will you gain much more control over when you ejaculate, but more importantly, your sex life will be transformed, not only in duration but also in sensation. You will be able to experience pleasure that you probably didn’t even know existed and you will begin to look forward to and enjoy sex again.
However, edging is only one (large) part of the equation and works best in conjunction with other techniques such as a reverse kegel (RK) weighted routine, arousal control and pelvic floor relaxation through yoga and deep squats. Plenty of information is available onsite.
The main part of this article is in the section “The five steps of edging”, so if you’re not interested in the theory feel free to scroll straight down to that part, but I would recommend you read the whole thread to give you a better understanding and the best results from your edging.
The Causes of Premature Ejaculation:
Premature ejaculation is a result of both both physical and psychological factors. (There may also be a chemcial element as well but this is much less understood). It is uncommon for a premature ejaculator to have a solely physical or psychological problem, as it is usually a combination of both.
Physical- Involuntary tensing of your pelvic floor muscles drastically increases the pleasure you feel during stimulation, thus causing you to orgasm much quicker. This is often the result of rushed masturbation during your teen years. This is called an involuntary kegel (IK) due to its likeness to the kegel exercise. It can also be a build up of tension in the muscle, rather than spasms.
Psychological- This is about your inability to control pleasure. As soon as things start feeling good you know your orgasm will start shortly. This is because there is a deep rooted connection in your brain and nervous system that pleasure = orgasm. In essence, you are too focused on orgasm, both consciously and subconsciously.
Consciously, you may find yourself thinking about orgasm - "Crap, I'm going to cum soon" or "I'd like to cum all over that hot ass" are examples of how you could be doing this. The subconscious element is that as a result of many years of quick ejaculations, your brain is used to getting a quick dose of pleasure (dopamine) from stimulation and as such tries to make you orgasm more quickly. Because your brain is so focused on this intense dopamine rush, it does not know how to experience pleasure other than orgasm. When being stimulated, you find yourself going straight from no pleasure to orgasmic pleasure, with no moderate inbetween levels.
Therefore, to overcome premature ejaculation, the above two problems need to be fixed. You need to be able to receive stimulation while maintaining a relaxed pelvic floor and you need to resist the urge to reach orgasm quickly and therefore discover the in between pleasure levels which still feel amazingly good, but let you remain in control. This sort of pleasure is known as the plateau phase in the scientific world, and is something which premature ejaculators completely miss out on.
Plateau Edging:
Premature ejaculation is really quite a simple problem- you reach the point of no return (PONR) too quickly and therefore ejaculate too quickly. So, in order to beat premature ejaculation, all you need to do is stay away from the PONR. That is essentially plateau edging- staying away from the PONR. This differs from the better known start/stop edging, where the goal is just to stop when you reach the PONR and then take a short break and start again. The reason why start/stop can be ineffective is because it doesn’t teach you to prolong the time before PONR, and therefore doesn’t help you solve your problem. By staying away from the PONR, you teach your body to resist going straight for the dopamine rush of orgasm, and over time you can rewire this response completely. Start/stop edging is useful for developing control closer to the PONR and/or for dry orgasm (DO) training, but both of these are very advanced skills. It can also be used by complete beginners to help them gain a basic understanding of edging and their responses to stimulation.
However, there is a problem with staying away from the PONR too- you don’t feel much pleasure. You could stroke away slowly for ages with a blank mind, not feeling any pleasure and never reaching the PONR, but this won’t help you either because you won’t learn to control the pleasure you get from sexual stimulation and so will be overwhelmed by actual sex.
Proper plateau edging is about staying away from the PONR and still feeling pleasure. This is a hard concept from premature ejaculators to understand because for them the only pleasure they get is at orgasm. However, this is because they are too focused on orgasm (dopamine rush) and so compare all other pleasure to orgasm, and of course it does not feel as strong and powerful. Yet the plateau phase can feel just as good as orgasm, but whereas orgasm is strong, quick and overwhelming, plateau is gentle, long lasting and sensual. To start getting into the plateau phase, you need to forget about orgasm, and try and focus on feeling pleasure while still a long way from the PONR. Don’t think about ejaculation, just relax and try and enjoy yourself.
Plateau edging is essentially finding the highest pleasure you can experience while still remaining in control. The idea is that, by practicing at this maximum level, your body will start getting used to it, and consequently you will be able to gradually build this level higher and higher. The word "gradual" is the key here; each session should be a gradual build up to your maximum level, and overtime you should gradually build up this maximum level. You won't retrain your response by rushing, since rushing is likely what messed your response up in the first place. Eventually, this maximum level will become high enough so that it is extremely pleasurable, yet you still remain in control. This is the elusive plateau phase.
At first, your maximum pleasure won’t really feel that great because you have very little control. However, don’t be tempted to get close to orgasm because you won’t be able to access plateau in this way. Just relax, and maybe even try and trick yourself into believing its feeling good; remember part of the problem is you compare all pleasure to the intense sensations of orgasm. Just think to yourself “this feels nice”, “I’m enjoying this”, and who knows, maybe you actually will start to enjoy it. Aim for a nice gentle background pleasure, and then build this up gradually over many edging sessions, rather than jumping straight in at almost orgasmic pleasure.
The scientific theory behind plateau edging.
Quick Summary:
A more detailed guide follows in the "five steps of edging section", but to make things clearer I will post a quick summary of the ideas here.
As mentioned earlier, there are two sides of premature ejaculation, physical and psychological. Both need to be tackled. The physical side should be dealt with first, I won't go into detail since the information is all onsite, but essentially you need to do reverse kegels and other relaxation techniques. You can also deal with the physical side through edging. The best way is via the competing response method, whereby you use reverse kegel holds during edging to counter IK. I found the best way to stay relaxed was to hold a gentle RK for the duration of edging and being aware of any IK. See https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...aculation.html for more information.
Dealing with the psychological side is much more difficult and to a certain extent you must find your own way to deal with it. However, the fundamental idea is to learn to shift your subconscious focus away from orgasm and towards immersing yourself in controllable pleasure. It can be a good idea to follow an arousal control program, as these aim to teach you to focus on what's in front of you, rather than thinking about ejaculation. See https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...-response.html for more information.
The Five Steps of Edging:
Though your edging should always be gradually progressing to higher pleasure levels while still remaining in control, the general progression can be thought of as five separate stages.
1. Eliminating Involuntary Kegels (IK). While doing this, don't worry yourself about the plateau phase or feeling pleasure, the goal is simply to maintain a relaxed pelvic floor to give you a good foundation for the later stages. You need to become aware of IKs, so pay attention for any spasms. You can try placing a hand on your pelvic floor area and feeling for any movement. You may even find yourself holding a single long involuntary kegel for the duration. As mentioned earlier, the way to counter these is to use reverse kegels when you notice a spasm, or hold a light RK for the duration of edging. Also, have an out of sex RK routine. While in this stage, most of your edging should be done with a blank mind and a slow stroke rate, so you can focus on getting rid of those IK.
2. Arousal Control and IK. This stage is largely similar to the first stage, in that the primary goal is to eliminate IK. However, this stage involves the use of some imagination, in order to start getting some pleasure from your sessions. Don't go too overboard with the imagination though; you want to stay at fairly low arousal so you can control those IK. The idea is to learn to focus on staying calm with extra stimulation, and also learning to be aware of IK while being distracted. Imagination should be added in little by little, and you should simply return to a blank mind (no/little sexual thoughts) if you start reaching the PONR.
3. Aim for Plateau. Once you feel that you're getting the IK under control, you can move onto this, the most difficult stage. This is the hardest because here you need to focus on pleasure. After all, we don't want to stop feeling pleasure, we want to be able to control the pleasure. The problem is, pleasure for a premature ejaculator usually means orgasm and ejaculation. To start aiming for the plateau phase, you need to focus on any good feelings you get during edging. Think to yourself "this actually feels good". Realising that pleasure and orgasm are two separate things is the key to getting into plateau. However, don't let yourself think about orgasm or ejaculation, completely ignore them. You will probably need to add in more imagination and stimulation as you go along. At first, you will often become too aroused too quickly, and your IK will start acting up and you will get close to orgasm. Don't worry if this happens, just stop and try again. Remember to try and build arousal very slowly. It will take a long time to complete this stage because you are so used to associating pleasure with orgasm. This stage aims to associate pleasure with control. Unfortunately, there is only so much guidance I can give you here, as everyone must find their own unique way to access plateau. Chances are, you'll probably discover it by accident as you gain experience. Plateau should feel very good, but still controllable - a hard concept for premature ejaculators to understand.
4. Progress in Plateau. Once you get to plateau, it's easy sailing. All you've got to do now is practice getting there more often, so that it becomes second nature. Then, use the edging progression tips to help you practice staying in plateau under different circumstances. Most importantly, enjoy the sensations and make getting into plateau your body's new habit.
5. Wave Orgasms, Full Body Orgasms, DO and MMO. Once you've mastered plateau, you don't have to stop there. The way is open to progress to any number of new ideas. I won't write about them here, but there is plenty of information onsite. As a side note, some guys go for DO and MMO first, and then use their experience and observations from that to access plateau.
Your first edging session:
This is how you should edge while in the first stage, once you begin to progress it should be pretty obvious how to move onto the next stage, but I thought I should describe the first stage in detail so that you get the idea.
Before starting edging, try to be relaxed and have preferably at least half an hour of free time. Remember, you are trying to prolong the time before orgasm, so try and stay away from it, but if you do reach orgasm too quickly, try and stop before it's too late. To find a benchmark for where you should start, you need to try and edge in a way that it will be easiest to stay in control. This means:
- Get in a position you find the easiest.
- Use a grip which is easy for you.
- Have a slow stroke rate.
- Use as little imagination as possible (enough to keep an erection)
Begin to edge. If you find yourself getting too aroused, feel free to stop. Pay attention to any involuntary kegels, as these can indicate you are too aroused. Try and stop IK by using reverse kegels. You can either apply one when you notice an IK, or hold a single, gentle RK for the duration of the session.
It is better to stop earlier rather than later, remember you are trying to rewire your brain to not want the intense pleasure of orgasm too early. Now hopefully, unless you have a very bad case, if you make it as easy as possible for yourself you should be able to edge for around 20 minutes without losing control in the manner described above. The aim here is simply to last 20 minutes without stopping, and to experience minimal involuntary kegels. Of course, this is very different to sex, and if you edge in this way forever it’s not really going to help. To transfer improvements over to the real deal, you need to make your edging more intense, but only when you are ready. A good first progression would be to add in more imagination.
Edging Progression:
During each of the five steps, you should start experimenting with some of the following progressions as you start gaining more control. This should help you stay in control under all circumstances, and make sure you a properly ready for the next stage:
- Increase stroke speed,
- Let your imagination run wild,
- Try a different position,
- Increase total edging duration,
- Experiment with different grips,
- Try thrusting,
- Get a stamina training unit,
- Focus on more sensitive parts of the penis.
- Add other stimuli (Erotica or pictures. The use of pornography is generally considered detrimental)
Those were just a few examples, you are largely unlimited in what you do, but if you find something makes you too aroused, you are not ready to try it yet. You must start from the bottom with edging, and think of yourself as climbing a ladder. If you climb too fast, you'll fall off and do yourself more harm than good. Remember, try and edge at a level which you can just about control, and gradually add more challenges in.
The plateau phase explained:
This can be quite a difficult concept for premature ejaculators to understand, because many may not have experienced it before, or if they did will not have noticed it properly. This image from http://www.medscape.org/viewarticle/481427_15 explains it well (I haven't looked around the site since you need to be a member and it goes onto SSRI's etc, but still, this image is helpful):
pre e explained.jpg
The yellow line is premature ejaculation, the white is your typical guy, and I believe pink is MMO. The initial increase is the excitement phase, the flat line the plateau phase and the final spikes are orgasm(s). You can see the problem is too fast arousal and little/no plateau phase. I personally believe that many premature ejaculators have no plateau phase at all, which is what makes it so hard to access because it is an entirely new experience. So, to help fix your premature ejaculation you need first to get into the plateau phase, and then to extend it. Getting there in the first place can be the hardest part. The plateau phase should feel good but controllable. If it doesn't feel that good, you are probably still in the excitement phase, and if it's hard to control, you're likely to close to the orgasm phase. It is better to be on the excitement side rather than the orgasm side.
It may take many edging sessions before you actually manage to access the plateau phase. The best way to get there is increase your arousal as gradually as possible, as shown in the edging progression tips. You must also fix any physical unbalance/tension and alter your psyche away from being focused on orgasm. Don't get frustrated if it isn’t easy to access, as you must remember you’ve probably spent years skipping it out completely so it’s going to take a while to recondition your brain. Once you get there, you can improve your control over it simply by edging in there and keeping your arousal in check. If you have not experienced plateau phase properly, it is definitely worth trying to get there because it just feels good, natural and controllable.
Originally posted by Smu
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Originally posted by Draugr
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Don't directly aim to get into the plateau phase. Sex for people with pre e is always goal orientated. At first, it comes from aiming for quick orgasm during masturbation when they were younger, which started the problem in the first place. Then, when they realise they have a problem, the goal becomes lasting longer. This is the wrong attitude. You need to relax and just enjoy it. It's about changing your mindset, which isn't easy. Realise sex isn't a performance, it's just for your enjoyment and you'll soon be cured.
Relaxation is key, both mental and physical. The mental side can largely be fixed by edging for long periods of time and getting used to the sensations and a proper response, but the physical side may require more effort. You should have a routine to deal with this, but it is important not to involuntary kegel during edging. One way to avoid this is by holding a light reverse kegel to counter the involuntary kegels.
The frenulum and glans can be very sensitive, best to stay away from them at first.
It can be useful to set some edging sessions aside where you will not ejaculate at the end. This improves both discipline, and helps you teach the body that orgasm is not everything.
Don't be afraid to take rests. Accepting that progress may be slow and challenging is half of the battle. Premature ejaculators tend to be impatient and lack discipline. Curing premature ejaculation can end up being a lifestyle change.
Having a positive mindset is very important. You need to be thinking to yourself "I'm improving, I'm in control". It sounds silly but it seems to have a placebo effect - if you think its working it will work. Confidence also improves stamina greatly as well.
Enjoy your edging. It should feel good, and you need to learn to associate sexual pleasure with happy feelings, rather than the disappointment of it being over too quickly.
NEVER rush edging sessions. Similar to how you gradually build your arousal from session to session, each individual session must also be a gradual increase of arousal, so that your body learns to go excitement ---> plateau ---> orgasm (when you choose). Rushing simply reinforces the habit of skipping out plateau.
Keep a log. This can be a thread on site or a private notebook. In this you will note down observations from your sessions and also any general observations you make, these will help you understand your situation better and also provide inspiration for others and confidence for yourself later on when you look back on earlier posts you have made.
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