Edging For Premature Ejaculation

[ammonite Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ammonite]

I have not read the book, is it any good? What specifically are the exercises she uses; edging, kegels etc? The problem with books is most of them are money making machines, and their quality if dubious. Of course, there could be good ones out there, though I'd be surprised if they have anything you can't get here for free. The bonus to them is though you do get all the useful information in one place...

The best way to deal with the spasms is by the stretching and the reverse kegel routine. Also, like in the original post, try and keep below an arousal level when the spasms happen. If they do happen, just try and stop before ejaculating and let your arousal go back down to a more manageable level. Reverse kegels might be able to prevent spasms, though this generally doesn't seem to work close to the PONR.

I edge when I feel like it. Sometimes I will edge 4 days in a row, sometimes I might not edge for 4 days. I feel like the sessions are better when I am in the mood, so to speak.

I don't know about other people, but like you say the author mentions "I never managed to learn how to be in the plateau phase". I presume there are other people like myself out there who have never really been in the plateau phase. As I keep saying, it was a new, unique experience for me and the problem with this is that it is very hard to explain to other people how to get there and what it should feel like.

[Cantona7 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Cantona7]

People with Premature Ejaculation will almost always use an IK when peeing to get the last drop or two out.

Ways you could do it:

Shake your penis sideways (intentionally)
IK (unintentionally/bad habit)
A Reverse Kegel (intentionally)
..Or just don't do any of the above

The reason I'm posting this is because I've noticed I do IKs several times when I pee and a strong one at the end to force everything out. This is a really bad practice. The best thing to do here would be to be conscious of every little movement that's going on in PC and try your best to counter that urge to IK.

Could you use RK for this? It seems like the safest option as it only enforces relaxation. On that note, will a RK only routine (a light one) be beneficial in addition to stretches to balance your Pelvic Floor?

C7

[SamH Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close SamH]

People with Premature Ejaculation will almost always use an IK when peeing to get the last drop or two out.

Ways you could do it:

Shake your penis sideways (intentionally)
IK (unintentionally/bad habit)
A Reverse Kegel (intentionally)
..Or just don't do any of the above

The reason I'm posting this is because I've noticed I do IKs several times when I pee and a strong one at the end to force everything out. This is a really bad practice. The best thing to do here would be to be conscious of every little movement that's going on in PC and try your best to counter that urge to IK.

Could you use RK for this? It seems like the safest option as it only enforces relaxation. On that note, will a RK only routine (a light one) be beneficial in addition to stretches to balance your Pelvic Floor?

C7

Where did you get this from? Do you know if people without pre e will do it too?

The reason I ask is because I too hold a short kegel after urinating however by no means would I call it involuntary. I don't quite see how this short kegel twice a day is really going to have any effect. It's just an efficient way of cleaning the pipe and preventing any dribble?

[ammonite Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ammonite]

Unless I kegel after peeing, I can't get it all out, so I have come to accept this as normal. I did, however, counter other involuntary kegels, such as those from edging, or just normal bodily functions, with an RK.

Also, to answer some common questions I have been receiving via PM:

Should I use lube?
- this is entirely up to you, but use the principles outlined here in this tread. If at first you find it easier to edge dry, do that, but as you progress you may want to add in lube as more of a challenge.

How often should I edge?
- I don't really have an edging routine, I do it when I feel like it because I find it easier to get into plateau when I'm in the mood. It's probably 3/4 times a week. On the off days I do the stretches or a kegel routine. So yeah, that's probably about right. However, I don't force edging, if I don't feel like doing it I probably won't.

What does plateau feel like?
- Plateau is a hard thing to describe since many Pre ers may never have experience it. Before I experienced it, I was straight from no feelings to build up to orgasm. Plateau feels good, sort of a pleasent warm feeling, but it is also easier to control. There's none of that feeling of semen building up in the shaft that signals the start of the orgasm. It may also make you feel happy and sentimental, giving you a feeling of "this is what sex should feel like". Also, learning to ignore orgasm is of paramount importance. By thinking about ejaculation, you are making it very difficult to get into plateau. You need to start ignoring it so to speak.

When I edge at the bottom of the ladder it doesn't feel good, how will I get into plateau like this?
- I have to use imagination or I can't access plateau- it doesn't feel good without imagination so you aren't in plateau. The thing is, you first need to condition your muscles so they don't spasm before trying for plateau. Spasms get you out of plateau pretty quickly, though I find it is easy to stop them when you are in plateau. This is why you need to work up the edging progression ladder, since if you don't, if you get into plateau you will have difficulty saying there due to spasms. It is also difficult to get into plateau without working up slowly, or your body will want to skip straight into orgasm.

Is edging the most important thing you can do?
- I think edging should be seen as half the battle. The others half is preparing your body for edging, via a kegel/reverse kegel routine and pelvic floor yoga or direct penis stretching. Edging is about reconditioning your response, but this will only be possible if your pelvic floor is in a good state. Similarly, if your pelvic floor gets fixed, but you still have bad masturbation habits, you will not train your response. Both are needed.

How much time should I spend doing a pelvic floor routine
- I tend to do mine on my days off from edging, so about 2/3/4 times a week. It may also be a good idea to have 1 day of total rest each week to allow the muscles to rest and heal.

If anyone has any further questions, feel free to post them here.

[hoochiNn Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close hoochiNn]

Where did you get this from? Do you know if people without pre e will do it too?

The reason I ask is because I too hold a short kegel after urinating however by no means would I call it involuntary. I don't quite see how this short kegel twice a day is really going to have any effect. It's just an efficient way of cleaning the pipe and preventing any dribble?

Some time ago, when I told a friend who is reputed to last long in bed I pressed to expel the last drops, fully alarmed answered me: "What??? Omg no!! How strange!"

[SamH Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close SamH]

Some time ago, when I told a friend who is reputed to last long in bed I pressed to expel the last drops, fully alarmed answered me: "What??? Omg no!! How strange!"

Hardly a backbone for definitive evidence!

[Cantona7 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Cantona7]

Might not be but there is some co-relation. A few more questions:

Do you have to fully erect in the Plateau? Because when I'm as hard as I can get--I tend to jump straight into Orgasmland. The fluids starts building up followed by strong kegels.

Can IK be both shot term hold and quick spasms? I tend to tightly hold my Root Lock. This is kinda weird

Thanks!

C7

[Quokka Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Quokka]

Unless I kegel after peeing, I can't get it all out, so I have come to accept this as normal. I did, however, counter other involuntary kegels, such as those from edging, or just normal bodily functions, with an RK.

I have no idea whether this is important in battling Pre E or not, but if you want to get the last drops out without kegelling you can push on the taint to get it all out. This works better than kegelling when it comes to emptying the "urethral tube" or whatever it is called, at least for me. Just push the taint(area between balls and butt) up and forward towards your balls when you are done peeing, but before you usually kegel.

[ammonite Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ammonite]

Might not be but there is some co-relation. A few more questions:

Do you have to fully erect in the Plateau? Because when I'm as hard as I can get--I tend to jump straight into Orgasmland. The fluids starts building up followed by strong kegels.

Can IK be both shot term hold and quick spasms? I tend to tightly hold my Root Lock. This is kinda weird

Thanks!

C7

Whenever I am in the plateau phase I am fully erect, yes. It feels to good not to be fully erect. If you find it hard to control when you are fully erect, you will need to use the principles of plateau edging outlined in the OP. By this, I mean you need to edge at a lower arosual when you have more control, and get used to this. As you get more control, start increasing the arosual gradually so that you don't lose control. This will likely take many more than one session. Eventually the arosual will get to a point where you will enter the plateau phase, but because you have control from practicing and working your way up (and a kegel/reverse kegel routine and pelvic floor stretches of course) you should not involuntary kegel an therefore will be able to stay in plateau. It is imperative you do not rush this, as that defeats the whole idea. You need to sneak up on plateau phase, almost so that your body doesn't notice and think "woah I should be orgasming".

IK can come in two forms - a general buildup of tension and short spasms. Relaxation techniques are needed to deal with both. My spasms and tension is mostly from front kegels, so I worked these in my routine and held light front reverse kegels during edging. Perhaps you should do the opposite and use mainly back reverse kegels?

[ammonite Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ammonite]

Also, as for all of this discussion about kegels after urinating, not only is it off topic lol, but I have a feeling it may be normal. If you want to get more attention for it, I suggest someone start a poll or post it in "the gym" where it will get attention from people without Pre e. Dont get me wrong, I am interested to see if there is a correlation, but this isn't really the place sorry.

[Draugr Member Find all posts View Profile Close Draugr]

Hello ammonite,
If i remember correctly, when i was 15 before my porn addiction i wasn't able to finish quickly, it was actually the other way around, i had to work hard to be able to finish... i remember two types of feelings, one that was a neutral sensation where i had to speed up the strokes to feel something, and after it i used to feel like when you are starting to reach the orgasm but i wasn't able to get there, it wasn't as intense as the orgasm but it felt like sparks of it...

I tell you this because i want to know if i used to feel the plateau phase, did i described it in the last pagraph?

Thanks for your help!

[ammonite Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ammonite]

Hello ammonite,
If i remember correctly, when i was 15 before my porn addiction i wasn't able to finish quickly, it was actually the other way around, i had to work hard to be able to finish... i remember two types of feelings, one that was a neutral sensation where i had to speed up the strokes to feel something, and after it i used to feel like when you are starting to reach the orgasm but i wasn't able to get there, it wasn't as intense as the orgasm but it felt like sparks of it...

I tell you this because i want to know if i used to feel the plateau phase, did i described it in the last pagraph?

Thanks for your help!

Yeah, when I also started masturbating I also had those 2 feelings and orgasm was hard to achieve. I think "the sparks of orgasm" as you describe it is definitely the plateau phase, so long as you felt some control when this was happening and no imminent build up to orgasm. That is a good way to put it.

I remember I used to feel plateau phase at first, but because I was new to the pleasure, I didn't have that much control in it, this would've improved with practice as it has now. However, I then began forcing orgasm with kegels and I started skipping the plateau phase and going straight into orgasm.

If you've been in it before which it sounds like you have, this should make it easier to get there again. Use the techniques in the thread, and try and remember what it felt like. It will take time, but it is well worth it. Because this is still a fairly new idea, there isn't any concrete advice on it yet, but feedback and experiments from members such as yourself can help change this.

Don't forget, you will also need a routine outside of edging to fix any physical issues which might be stopping you from getting into and staying in plateau.

And one final little tip about rushing. The main reason I advise people not to rush is because you need to retrain your response in the easiest way possible - by gaining control from the bottom up. However there is another reason as well. Sometimes when I first rediscovered plateau phase, I would have difficulty getting into it. When this happened, I would become frustrated. If I got frustrated in a session it was guaranteed I would then not get into plateau. If I feel myself getting frustrated now, and it still happens sometimes, I just end the session. To get into plateau you must be calm an relaxed. So, to get there you need to accept it will take time and just relax and enjoy the journey. If you mange to do this, and it isn't easy by any means, it will make getting plateau considerably easier.

[Draugr Member Find all posts View Profile Close Draugr]

What i am doing right now is edging in the morning and streching before going to sleep, i used to be able to do splits when i was young and now i just feel alot of tension in my lower body.

I am currently not doing my kegels and reverse kegels routine.

I think that edging is the most important step to overcome premature ejaculation cause your learn to have better control of your feelings and sensations, today while i was edging i noticed that i can focus on my pelvic floor muscles (makes me finish quicker) or my penis (removes tension on my BC muscles wich makes me last longer).

I'm currently working on staying on what i believe the plateau phase is (i described it in the last post i made). I used to last 30 - 40 minutes while edging, today i hardly reached 20 minutes.

Another thing i want to add, my best friend also suffered from premature ejaculation, right now he says he is a king in the bedroom, he told me he overcame his problem by learning how to properly breath in bed, he described it as when you go to the gym and you are doing reps, that it is the same concept. So try to breath properly while you are edging.

And never forget to stretch!
http://www.fitday.com/fitness-articl...etching.html#b

And also, i want to share my point of view on premature ejaculation, i don't see it as something that must be cured, like a disease, i see it as a skill that has to be trained, you need experience and practice to get better, some of us skipped the learning phase when we were young, personally i know part of my problem is for skipping steps i should have learned, for example, learning how to kiss, 3 years ago i was really bad at this, but with time i was able to get better, same with making out with girls, if i didn't know how to kiss a girl do you think i knew how to make out? To keep my story short i had sex before learning the basics (wich exploded right on my face). My advice, take things slowly, be patient, take one step by a time and remember that everything is going to be fine , NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE.

[Tino07 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Tino07]

The book is not bad. It's old now so can get it cheap second hand.

After some good edging sessions where I thought I gaining control I seem to have taken a backwards step.

Have you felt much benefit from the stretching routine, ammonite?

[ammonite Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ammonite]

Draugr - Whether or not edging is the most important step depends on what causes your premature ejaculation - more on this can be found in the diagnosis link in my signature. For those who have it because of poor masturbation habits, edging is definitely one of the most important things. However, these guys also seem to have tense pelvic floors as a result of kegelling to orgasm and a reverse kegel weighted routine is needed to fix this. Good post about skipping the learning phase.

The book is not bad. It's old now so can get it cheap second hand.

After some good edging sessions where I thought I gaining control I seem to have taken a backwards step.

Have you felt much benefit from the stretching routine, ammonite?

If I'm finding it difficult, I will tend to stop edging for a few days and this usually helps. If this does not fix the problem, you will have to search deeper for what might be causing it.

It is hard for me to say since I do so many different things which ones are actually helping. It is possible that the stretches have helped me release tension in the pelvic floor. They definitely helped in the first week, but I don't know if they have continued to benefit me.