Edging For Premature Ejaculation

[ammonite Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ammonite]

Here is a little technique which can help train the brain for plateau. It is also useful for those who are less advanced and want to know what plateau feels like. On top of all that, it should be good for hardness as well!

First, you need to get yourself in the mood; get an erection. Close your eyes and try and do it without touching yourself though, do it only with imagination. Imagine someone you really love or someone who is very attractive to you. Once you manage to get it up, slowly begin edging, while still imagining sexy things about this pereon. Try not to let your mind wander. When it starts to feel good, completely stop edging. However, continue your imagination. See if you can still get good feelings even though you aren't touching yourself.

*IMPORTANT*- when you aren't touching yourself DON'T do kegels to make it feel good. This is a very bad habit. In fact, don't kegel at any time during this exercise.

If the feelings start going away, then slowly begin edging again until you start to feel good again. Then repeat with the imagination. Again if the feelings go away, go back to edging. Keep repeating these steps of alternating edging and stopping.

For me atleast, doing this was very effective when I was first trying to get to plateau. I personally need imagination to get into plateau it doesn't work otherwise. This was a way of using imagination without losing control.
Also, it is very relaxing when you are just using imagination, and this is also beneficial to getting into plateau.
Lastly, you aren't going to ejaculate from imagination alone and no touching. This helps separate the connection which I believe all premature ejaculators have of pleasure=orgasm. If you can manage to get good feelings just from the imagination, it will teach your body that it can feel good without ejacultion. This seperation of pleasure and orgasm is the most important thing in getting into plateau, since that's what the plateau phase is- pleasure without orgasm.

The idea then is that your start decreasing the amount of time you stop for and increasing the amount of time you edge for, while still maintaining the same pleasure level. Hopefully by practicing this your body will learn firstly to get into plateau, and secondly to stay there, so that when you do begin getting rid of the stopping time, your body will stay in plateau and not speed of to orgasm.

Again, all this wont happen over night because you're reprogramming many years of quick ejaculation reflexes. The idea is that this gradual change into lasting longer while still enjoying yourself, combined with a routine to fix any physical tension will, overtime reprogram your response so that it becomes natural to last long. If many years of poor habits can make you cum quickly, I don't see why many months (possibly even years) of good habits can't reverse this. However you do need to accept that it will take time- you aren't going to be able to change a lifetimes worth of habits overnight. I once read it takes 8000 repetitions of a movement to get it so your body can do it automatically (muscle memory) - so 8000 edging sessions later you'll be fixed .

Of course, it won't actually take this long since you'll be improving gradually all the time and will therefore be able to control yourself through various techniques, but it will take time before you have fixed it to a degree you don't even have to think about it any more. That is the final goal.

[Draugr Member Find all posts View Profile Close Draugr]

Hey, i tried a Fleshlight yesterday, i couldn't last 1 minute lol.... my glans were to sensitive that i exploded, i guess it is the bad habit of masturbating without lube and a light grip... what you think about edging with it instead of my hand, should i?

[ammonite Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ammonite]

Hey, i tried a Fleshlight yesterday, i couldn't last 1 minute lol.... my glans were to sensitive that i exploded, i guess it is the bad habit of masturbating without lube and a light grip... what you think about edging with it instead of my hand, should i?

If you're struggling to last 1 minute then you're probably not ready to use it yet. Try practicing with your hand, but focus more on the glans if you feel you are ready. Remember to work your way up by gradually using more intense methods as you gain control. If a fleshlight is too difficult, focus on something else first. Alternatively, try going really slow with the fleshlight, without imagination and see it that helps.

If something brings you to the PONR that fast, you aren't ready to be doing it yet, at least not on a regular basis. Progress gradually and only when you are truly ready to.

[Berba Member Find all posts View Profile Close Berba]

If you're struggling to last 1 minute then you're probably not ready to use it yet.

If something brings you to the PONR that fast, you aren't ready to be doing it yet, at least not on a regular basis. Progress gradually and only when you are truly ready to.

That's interesting because i just made a thread about STU's!

Surely this can't be correct though? Otherwise, for those of us currently struggling to get past the one minute mark during sex, you're effectively saying we shouldn't engage in sex as we're not ready?

It makes more sense for me to say.... Ok, i lasted 30 seconds with x. Next time i will try to beat 30 seconds with x. (x could be your hand, a toy, a girl.... whatever). I understand the idea of gradual progression, no doubt. You wouldn't pick up the heaviest dumbells in the room on your first ever weight lifting session. But that's because a) it's dangerous, and b) because you'll NEVER go one rep with them if they are so outside of your strength range, there obviously will be no starting reference for progress. In this instance, using the STU would cause injury and we are measuring time - even if it's a few seconds, so we do have a point of reference (albeit not an impressive one!!).

Curious to hear yours and others' thoughts...?

[Draugr Member Find all posts View Profile Close Draugr]

If you're struggling to last 1 minute then you're probably not ready to use it yet. Try practicing with your hand, but focus more on the glans if you feel you are ready. Remember to work your way up by gradually using more intense methods as you gain control. If a fleshlight is too difficult, focus on something else first. Alternatively, try going really slow with the fleshlight, without imagination and see it that helps.

If something brings you to the PONR that fast, you aren't ready to be doing it yet, at least not on a regular basis. Progress gradually and only when you are truly ready to.

Thanks for the reply, i was thinking to keep edging with my hand and use the STU every once in a while.

Why changing the weight of my lift if i am progressing with the one im currently using? Once my progress stops i can add more weight .

Btw, while i was using the STU i noticed everytime i stoped before reaching the PONR i was losing EQ, everytime i stop and start again i find out that i lost a big part of my erection, is that normal?

[ammonite Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ammonite]

That's interesting because i just made a thread about STU's!

Surely this can't be correct though? Otherwise, for those of us currently struggling to get past the one minute mark during sex, you're effectively saying we shouldn't engage in sex as we're not ready?

It makes more sense for me to say.... Ok, i lasted 30 seconds with x. Next time i will try to beat 30 seconds with x. (x could be your hand, a toy, a girl.... whatever). I understand the idea of gradual progression, no doubt. You wouldn't pick up the heaviest dumbells in the room on your first ever weight lifting session. But that's because a) it's dangerous, and b) because you'll NEVER go one rep with them if they are so outside of your strength range, there obviously will be no starting reference for progress. In this instance, using the STU would cause injury and we are measuring time - even if it's a few seconds, so we do have a point of reference (albeit not an impressive one!!).

Curious to hear yours and others' thoughts...?

It's an interesting point you make. If this were the case for most guys then treating Pre e would be a lot easier. Unfortunately, I have found that it is not possible for most guys to simply "go 5 second longer" next time. The premature ejaculation is so thoroughly ingrained that even if they want to last just a little bit longer (which ofc they do) it just isn't possible, without stopping. And stopping every 10 seconds in sex isn't exactly the best way to go about it.

My alternative approach focuses on working on something they can control, and then gradually pushing the limits higher and higher and hopefully still remaining in control. This to me seems the logical progression, working from the bottom up.

However, if you can make yourself last 5 seconds longer each time without stopping then go for it, I just fear this wont work for most guys else curing Pre e would be extremely easy and no one would have it. Also, I am sorry if I have caused confusion, but sex should not be seen as something you shouldn't do. You should make sure you don't cum quick during training. Sex is not training. Sex is something you be doing because you want to and it's fun. Obviously try and last longer during sex, but the most important aspect of it is to enjoy it. Simply realising this can help, don't regard sex as a task. So long as you progress well with the edging, given time results should start transferring over into sex. Then you can start focusing on lasting longer during sex.

Btw, while i was using the STU i noticed everytime i stoped before reaching the PONR i was losing EQ, everytime i stop and start again i find out that i lost a big part of my erection, is that normal?

It might be expected to lose a bit of EQ, but you shouldn't be losing that much. Have you tried slowing down instead of stopping? Remember, thr whole point of plateau edging is to get yourself out of the habit of grtting to that first PONR too quickly. If you back of before getting too close to the PONR, it may be possible to keep going at a lower arousal (preferably in plateau if you have managed to get there) rather than having to stop. Alternatively, when you begin getting too aroused you could switch to your hand and go back to the STU when you feel you have more control.

[Berba Member Find all posts View Profile Close Berba]

Ammonite, yea i can see what you're saying there.

I think then, it's probably - as you well know - case specific. I've jumped into the deep end - more in keeping with ByggD's thread in the stickies with regards my own routine. For other guys, that may be several steps too advanced.

[dobby Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close dobby]

Hey man, your thread on this is great.

I use the fleshlight STU and basically go from a level 2 to 8.5 as soon as I start stimulation.

I definitely have a lower tolerance for stimulation since a hand does nothing to increase arousal.

Any advice on how I can hit a plateau stage more consistently?

[Draugr Member Find all posts View Profile Close Draugr]

Hey man, your thread on this is great.

I use the fleshlight STU and basically go from a level 2 to 8.5 as soon as I start stimulation.

I definitely have a lower tolerance for stimulation since a hand does nothing to increase arousal.

Any advice on how I can hit a plateau stage more consistently?

I have the same problem as yours lol, the STU feels almost like the real thing.. the difference i can notice between using my hand and the STU is that it stimulates my glans and it feels on a differente level..

For some reason while im using the STU every time i stop before reaching PONR i lose EQ.... and its hard to get my erection to full again... probably cause im tired or since it feels the same way as the real thing i get frustrated....

What i am thinking to do is try to replicate the same stimulation with my hand, i never used lube before while using my hand, i guess that can be a big factor for my PE.... and will only use STU once or twice every week,

[ammonite Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ammonite]

Hey man, your thread on this is great.

I use the fleshlight STU and basically go from a level 2 to 8.5 as soon as I start stimulation.

I definitely have a lower tolerance for stimulation since a hand does nothing to increase arousal.

Any advice on how I can hit a plateau stage more consistently?

Firstly, as in the thread it's really not easy to get there if you're not used to it; have you managed to get there before often?

Aside from the trying the advice in there over time, you could try either:
-using your hand in the most arousing ways possible, so using fast stroke rate, intense grip and lots of imagination/erotica or,
-using your fleshlight but very slowly with little imagination and doing your best to stay relaxed. Also, try not to think about how excited the fleshlight makes you because if you think it's going to feel to good, then it will feel to good. You should try and change your mindset to I am in control I can handle this. Difficult, yes, but helpful if you can manage it, the mind is a powerful tool.

Unfortunately I can't give concrete guidance because everyone's body works differently and also this is a fairly new concert. But play around with the ideas in the OP, maybe try some of your own and just generally be aware of trying to get into plateau and staying away from orgasm.

Also, draugr using the STU in moderation for now is definitely the way to go. Also, you could try to use it at the start of the session when you are less aroused and switch to your hand when it starts getting too much. Alternatively, use it at the end of the session if you intend to cum anyway, but take care not to rush to ejaculate in it else this will become another bad habit.

[dobby Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close dobby]

What i am thinking to do is try to replicate the same stimulation with my hand, i never used lube before while using my hand, i guess that can be a big factor for my PE.... and will only use STU once or twice every week,

That's the weirdest part, I can be right at the edge of PONR with the STU, but as soon as I switch over to using my hand I come right back down to a level 6 and can keep going no matter what the speed.

I think this happens because,

- It feels so real that all the real performance anxiety kicks in. As Ammonite said, I expect it to feel overwhelming so it does. This is where I need to mentally change my perceptions around sex & stimulation, let go of prior experiences and visualize a better outcome (mental re-wiring).

I always thought my PreE was more biological since I've always had it.

However, the more I simply observe this whole process of arousal, edging and everything else, I'm starting to believe it's 90% mental.

Or maybe a better way to look at it, if you can control the mental side of it, the physical side will come along much more quickly.

When I first started visualizing, I couldn't even picture "good sex". I would try to picture the sex I wanted and I just had images of disappointment and frustration.

Then I wonder why I go to edge with the STU and I hit PONR in less than 5 minutes.

I had so much anxiety I couldn't even give my brain a clear picture of what I wanted it to do.

Trying to work the physical side first, kegels, edging, RK's, etc is much much harder.

You need to learn to calm your body, consistently feed your subconscious ideas of what you want so when you go to have sex, edge or whatever, it has some reference point to draw from other than awful sexual experiences.

That is my opinion after a month of kegel routines and edging only to end up basically where I started.

I'm not saying they don't work, they do.

I just realize now they are meant to supplement the effects of being in control of your mind.

Sorry if this sounds new age, I wouldn't have believed this a month or two ago.

And some of your probably aren't as neurotic as I am.

But if anyone else can't even picture "good sex", you'll start to realize the huge mental block you need to get rid of before edging or anything else even has a chance to succeed.

[ammonite Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ammonite]

That's the weirdest part, I can be right at the edge of PONR with the STU, but as soon as I switch over to using my hand I come right back down to a level 6 and can keep going no matter what the speed.

I think this happens because,

- It feels so real that all the real performance anxiety kicks in. As Ammonite said, I expect it to feel overwhelming so it does. This is where I need to mentally change my perceptions around sex & stimulation, let go of prior experiences and visualize a better outcome (mental re-wiring).

I always thought my PreE was more biological since I've always had it.

However, the more I simply observe this whole process of arousal, edging and everything else, I'm starting to believe it's 90% mental.

Or maybe a better way to look at it, if you can control the mental side of it, the physical side will come along much more quickly.

When I first started visualizing, I couldn't even picture "good sex". I would try to picture the sex I wanted and I just had images of disappointment and frustration.

Then I wonder why I go to edge with the STU and I hit PONR in less than 5 minutes.

I had so much anxiety I couldn't even give my brain a clear picture of what I wanted it to do.

Trying to work the physical side first, kegels, edging, RK's, etc is much much harder.

You need to learn to calm your body, consistently feed your subconscious ideas of what you want so when you go to have sex, edge or whatever, it has some reference point to draw from other than awful sexual experiences.

That is my opinion after a month of kegel routines and edging only to end up basically where I started.

I'm not saying they don't work, they do.

I just realize now they are meant to supplement the effects of being in control of your mind.

Sorry if this sounds new age, I wouldn't have believed this a month or two ago.

And some of your probably aren't as neurotic as I am.

But if anyone else can't even picture "good sex", you'll start to realize the huge mental block you need to get rid of before edging or anything else even has a chance to succeed.

The beauty of this edging is it works on both physical and mental simultaneously.

It teaches the body not to involuntary kegel as by controlling them during this, they become removed from the muscle memory or whatever you want to call it. A reverse kegel routine is more effective but, this is important in removing the habit.

It also reconditions your mental response to arousal, letting you get more used to it and responding in the proper way - plateau phase. It should also give your confidence a boost when you begin lasting longer and making progress.

[Draugr Member Find all posts View Profile Close Draugr]

I think edging is working, i can control my ejaculation while masturbating on a different level, like i know when i am going to reach orgasm and i can make my arousal go down, the only problem i am having right now is that i can control levels 1 - 4 and 8 - 10.

What i want to do is instead of waiting till i reach level 8 i want to mantain my arousal at level 7 so when i reach level 8 i drop it to level 6 (without letting my erection pass out) and again try to maintain level 7.

I know its sounds weird, but sometimes i lose EQ to fast when i completely stop stimulating.

[dobby Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close dobby]

It's not weird, I lose EQ as well when I stop stimulation, it comes back though.

To plateau, you need to sloooowly get yourself to level 7, then just keep going slowly to maintain there.

I use the STU so when I finally do plateau (if I do) I can't rush things. It definitely takes patience but I think we're both starting from the bottom so it will take time.

I had a lot of confidence going into tonight, but still felt the PONR come on pretty quickly.

How do you guys notice involuntary kegels? Do you have a finger on your PC muscle or can you just feel them?

I don't know if mine are more subtle, but I'm having trouble noticing them at all.

[dobby Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close dobby]

I guess a better way to put it is that my pc muscle feels flexed or hard almost the entire time.

Is this normal or is this something I'm supposed to be relaxing, and if so, how?