Edging For Premature Ejaculation

[ammonite Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ammonite]

I guess a better way to put it is that my pc muscle feels flexed or hard almost the entire time.

Is this normal or is this something I'm supposed to be relaxing, and if so, how?

Yes this stems from bad masturbation habits by clenching kegels to achieve orgasm. I also used to hold a kegel for practically the entire time. This was strange since I couldn't hold a kegel for that long in isolation; somehow I managed to train myself to kegel continuously during stimulaltion, presumably through muscle memory. At first I wasn't even aware I was doing this.

To see if you are doing this, before you start edging, place a hand on your PC muscle. Then begin to stroke and see if you can feel any change. If the muscle is weak then you may not be able to feel it but it might still be there. You might be able to feel the movement anyway even without your hand. You can't feel any involuntary kegels since your pelvic floor is already in a constant state of kegel, how can it involuntarily do something it is already doing. (Kegel=tension). This is similar to using an intentional kegel to stop the spasm kegels that cause ejaculation and thus giving a DO. Unfortunately for you, all this kegel succeeds in doing is making it feel better and so making you orgasm faster.

To stop this you need to work on relaxation techniques such as reverse kegels and stretching outside of edging. You should also try and hold a light reverse kegel for the whole of your edging session to prevent the kegel hold. If you do this, you might start being able to feel actual involuntary kegels, or if you are lucky like me, there won't actually be many involuntaries, and it was just this constant kegel that caused quick orgasm. You should also try to edge slowly and make a conscious effort to prevent this kegel hold happening.

[ammonite Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ammonite]

Also, one thing myself and other senior members are struggling to do is find words to accurately describe what the plateau phase feels like. This would help beginners know what they are aiming for.

If anyone who has achieved plateau can think of a way to describe it, that would be very helpful, thanks.

[dobby Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close dobby]

Thanks Ammonite, I will try to consciously relax the muscle and simply stop stimulation if it gets completely flexed until it goes away, then resume.

I'm interested to see if RK's can replace the currently muscle memory of flexing the PC muscle during stimulation.

If it's possible to retrain this response to happen automatically, that would be quite helpful!

[Draugr Member Find all posts View Profile Close Draugr]

ammonite, is it normal that the frenulum is over sensitive? when i am using the stu i feel like it gets streched and makes me almost reach PONR...

[dobby Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close dobby]

ammonite, is it normal that the frenulum is over sensitive? when i am using the stu i feel like it gets streched and makes me almost reach PONR...

I'm not sure if it's normal, but I have the same sensation with the STU.

One option is to use more lube which will decrease the stretching and be less sensitive on the frenulum.

I typically just keep going over the frenulum until it starts to be desensitized.

I also notice that stimulation causes me to hold a strong involuntary kegel so I've been working to use RK's to get my PC muscle back into a relaxed state.

When you're at the PONR, try going over just the frenulum really slowly and see how the sensations change.

Interested to follow this thread to see if I can learn from your progress, not many guys on here seem to be using the STU consistently.

[Draugr Member Find all posts View Profile Close Draugr]

I'm not sure if it's normal, but I have the same sensation with the STU.

One option is to use more lube which will decrease the stretching and be less sensitive on the frenulum.

I typically just keep going over the frenulum until it starts to be desensitized.

I also notice that stimulation causes me to hold a strong involuntary kegel so I've been working to use RK's to get my PC muscle back into a relaxed state.

When you're at the PONR, try going over just the frenulum really slowly and see how the sensations change.

Interested to follow this thread to see if I can learn from your progress, not many guys on here seem to be using the STU consistently.

Sure, it would be nice to have a STU partner lol ^^

Well, right now what i felt is that the preassure (its to tight) from the STU tense up my muscles to much... it kinda gets my erection tired, or i mean the base or my penis... its kinda weird..

The arousal with the STU is the same as when i have sex with my gf.

[ammonite Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ammonite]

Yes, the frenulum can be very sensitive. Dobby gave good advice, in that you should try and stop the involuntary kegels, since that is probably what is causing you to reach the PONR very quickly. Using RK holds at lower arousal to prevent involuntary kegels is very effective, but I find they cannot be used very well once you start getting near orgasm, best to use them in plateau or before. This is another reason you should pratice at lower arousals at first, to get rid off the involuntary kegels that speed you to PONR.

I will also be updating the OP with some disclaimers and also a possible alternative way to acsess plateau for more advanced people.

Here is an excellent post ItsPossible made, explaining the theory about reconditioning yourself for plateau in more detail than I have here.

[robot_ Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close robot_]

Are edging sessions supposed to feel like a workout? I find that I tense up while getting hard and hold this state for the duration of sex or masturbation. When I'm edging, I am constantly doing back rk's to release the tension, but as soon as I do it builds up again and I have to do another rk or back rk. So I am ending up feeling slightly sore and worked out after a session.

[ammonite Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ammonite]

Well ideally edging should be something you enjoy, rather than something you have to do. Trouble is, if you have Pre e, it isn't easy to enjoy since you're always fighting the urge to cum. However, if you do your RKs to prevent involuntary kegels and tension, your body should eventually learn to be more relaxed. I think it's probably fine to be a little sore, but if its getting to the area where it's painful then something's wrong.

I used to always hold a constant light reverse kegel to counter spams, but now, about a year and a half later, it's not really that necessary any more, and if I feel myself getting tense my body seems to automatically RK slightly to release the tension. Its a long process to change the habit of tensing up though.

[Draugr Member Find all posts View Profile Close Draugr]

I think i found my lost plateu,
How did i find it? Well, i tried to link myself while having sex (with my imagination) with my full erection phase, my heart rate increased, my breathing went faster, it felt close to a massage, my penis was getting stimulated and i was focusing on the sensation like when your penis just raises without letting my arousal go up.

Its difficult to describe the plateu phase... why? Because it is the moment when you realize that you can get stimulation while controlling it... Yes, it feels good, people moan/breath for a reason, im pretty sure everyone, even people with PE have felt it while masturbating, its feels like the moment before you think "im going to finish" but prolonged, as simple as that, i think this is the reason why people cannot describe it, because you can actually compare it with the orgasm phase.

I can be wrong, but i think this is how my plateu phase feels.

So ammonite, i am thinking on doing exercices to link what i feel down there to what i think, for example, the phases before the erection i will link them with the forplay, the erection phase with sex/penetration and the moment my partner reaches her orgasm with the PONR. You think this is viable?

[loveinrewind Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close loveinrewind]

So draugr, have you managed to stay in plateu phase for long time ? Cause I'm sure that's what I'm missing. I just don't enjoy sex, only orgasm.

As soon as I'm in plateu I' move to orgasm.

[ammonite Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ammonite]

I think i found my lost plateu,
How did i find it? Well, i tried to link myself while having sex (with my imagination) with my full erection phase, my heart rate increased, my breathing went faster, it felt close to a massage, my penis was getting stimulated and i was focusing on the sensation like when your penis just raises without letting my arousal go up.

Its difficult to describe the plateu phase... why? Because it is the moment when you realize that you can get stimulation while controlling it... Yes, it feels good, people moan/breath for a reason, im pretty sure everyone, even people with PE have felt it while masturbating, its feels like the moment before you think "im going to finish" but prolonged, as simple as that, i think this is the reason why people cannot describe it, because you can actually compare it with the orgasm phase.

I can be wrong, but i think this is how my plateu phase feels.

So ammonite, i am thinking on doing exercices to link what i feel down there to what i think, for example, the phases before the erection i will link them with the forplay, the erection phase with sex/penetration and the moment my partner reaches her orgasm with the PONR. You think this is viable?

Yes, so long as it lasted for a decent amount of time, that was probably plateau, yay

When you say most people have felt it when it feels like "just before I'm going to finish", although the sensation is quite similar in terms of pleasure, I don't actually think that is the plateau phase, that is more like the start of orgasm. As you say, there is quite some overlap in terms of pleasure (yes, it can really feel that good), what is happening is different. You give a good description.

All this is still quite new, so we don't exactly know everything yet, but it i understand you right, you want to use your imagination like a film linking different sections to different phases of arosual? That sounds good to me.

So draugr, have you managed to stay in plateu phase for long time ? Cause I'm sure that's what I'm missing. I just don't enjoy sex, only orgasm.

As soon as I'm in plateu I' move to orgasm.

Are you sure you have been in plateau? Not enjoying sex except for orgasm is a classic symptom of someone who skips the plateau out completely. Like in draugr's description, the pleasure felt in the plateau is almost comparable to orgasm. It would be quite hard not to enjoy that.

It is possible you are skipping straight from excitement to orgasm, as the start of the orgasm phase feels quite like plateau you might be mixing the two up. You probably need to learn to enjoy sex without orgasm, it isn't easy because you have to rewire your brain. Also, keep practicing the edging progression in the OP.

If you have actually found plateau and it doesn't last long, I'm not quite sure what to suggest yet, since I find plateau quite easy to control, and the more I get there and practice, the better my control becomes.

[loveinrewind Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close loveinrewind]

I think I remember how plateu felt when i started masturbating as a teen. But I'm not quite sure if I'm able to get to it know.

When your say rewire my brain, on what exactly do you mean ? How to accomplish that, cause i edge for long period of time and still can't reach it.

Thank you for your help ammonite

[ammonite Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ammonite]

Good, if you remember what it felt like as a teen this will help because it will give you something to aim for.

This is hard for me to explain because I don't have any qualifications or anything, I am just speaking from experience and educated guesses, but:
Your teenage brain learned to associate pleasure with orgasm. There are two effects of this:
1. You feel an urge to cum when you get stimulated because you have trained yourself to ejaculate quickly.
2. Because you trained yourself to ejaculate quickly, the body has "forgotten" that there can be pleasure without orgasm. I assume you rushed masturbation at some point when you were younger? By doing this you made the plateau phase last less and less time in your haste to get to orgasm. Eventually, the plateau phase became so short it is effectively non existent- it goes straight from excitement to orgasm. This often creates tension/bad habits in the pelvic floor which need fixing with relaxation techniques.

How to get back into the plateau phase is a tricky matter, and we have no concrete advice on it yet. The easy two things you need to do are; fix any physical unbalanced, and practice the edging progression in the OP to get rid of any IK and also get used to building arousal slowly.

You say you edge for long periods of time. I am guessing it doesn't really feel that great in terms of pleasure you get? That is because you are edging below plateau phase, still in the excitement phase. This is easy to control, trouble is you can't stay in excitement when sex begins. And if you try increase the pleasure, you will end up going straight to orgasm.

Aside from using the technique in the OP, you might also find it helpful to almost play mind games with yourself. When edging think to yourself "this feels good" "I'm enjoying this" whilst trying to remember what plateau felt like, but also "I'm in control". Keep these positive thoughts going. What you don't want to do is think stuff like "oh my god this feels amazing" or "I'm gonna cum". In fact, try not to think of orgasm at all because this will reinforce the habit of associating pleasure with orgasm. Ignore orgasm is the advice I always give. In essence what you are trying to do is trick your brain into thinking its feeling good even though you have control. It might be that you then actually will start feeling good pleasure, almost like a placebo effect.

Of course, all this will vary person to person and will most likely be a long road trying to recondition a lifetimes response. Another limitation is that I am only one person who did it one particular way. As more people (like draugr) begin to rediscover plateau, we can collect more techniques and tricks to get into plateau, and hopefully build up a more definitive way of getting there. This concept is still new on the forum, early days means everything is still very experimental.

[loveinrewind Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close loveinrewind]

I most certanly did rused my ejaculation when i was a teenager. Thank you so much for your advices, I'll try to do everything you said. It sounds logical.

Even though I must admit i kind of think that, premature ejaculation is caused by some other illnes. Many of my friends did the same when they were tens and don't have the problem. Maybe it has something to do with prostate. I'll get myself checked, and let you know