So my girlfriend's been with a bigger guy...

[BigO AdministratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close BigO]

If a guy asks and finds out he is less endowed than Billy last guy then too bad. He asked for it and got it.

Men expect a perfect answer to a fooked up question.

[CLOSEDDennyA Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close CLOSEDDennyA]

Don't ask, don't tell....

[MrB8 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close MrB8]

Even worse, if she said he's her biggest, he'd think she's lying.

In my opinion, the question in itself serves no purpose, and leads nowhere good, if size mattered to the lady she would have still been with the bigger Ex, or left for another, but most importantly, it is not a competition.

Men should not chase ghosts and cherish the present instead, its a present!

[Bigdaddy55 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Bigdaddy55]

Okay so the assumption that "bigger is better" is also an assumption that a bigger ex was, by the sheer size of his penis, a better lover? Does this mean that there is also an assumption that he was more virile and therefore a better man as a whole?

At 19 yes. There are insecurities from your lack of experience and immaturity. That's why I learned not to ask questions I might not like the answer to, even though I've been told by more than a few girls that I was pretty big. Different girls commented on a specific aspect whether it's the rythym I had going, size, kissing or a particular technique. You still had that doubt in the back of your mind, if you can do something better. When I didn't care too much about the girl, then I wasn't too concerned if my performance was my best. If I liked her then yes I wanted make sure I did my best and she was satisfied. You want her to want more. Now at 36 I don't care. I am who I am. If I am good enough great. If not then we're not compatible.

[WIItard Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close WIItard]

Yes. They have been asked by their boyfriends because they are most likely insecure. And as for them saying out to their current boyfriends that they have been with bigger I don't doubt they've said it but some things can cause them to let that information slip from their mouths, such as being intoxicated. I've heard of a member or two here say that they found out they were smaller by their drunken girlfriend revealing that information. While other people have said that their girlfriends have said it for some other reason. Maybe to belittle them or some other agenda.

You probably nailed it there. Bug them when their drunk for an answer. I really don't remember any women ever bring up cock size with guys around, it's just not a subject that they speak about with guys.

[TPW Senior Member Member of the Month Oct 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close TPW]

Pretty much nailed it there.

Hey 4HerPleasure,

I am sure you can see why this confounds me. If the size of a man's package is truly what constitutes a "better man" then why wouldn't the woman simply have stayed with the ex? Surely she would choose the "better man" of the two?

And as we all know this isn't often the case, it seems we have some faulty logic going on here, doesn't it? Either the woman chose poorly or it means that the size of a man's penis was NOT the determining factor when she chose who she believed to be the "better man".

[WIItard Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close WIItard]

Let me ask this question. How is any woman supposed to know how many guys she is gonna sleep with before settling down with you and how is she supposed to know how big any of them will be in comparison to you? Is she supposed to look in her crystal ball as a child and see that you will be the one she truly falls in love with and will have say a seven inch penis? Then is she supposed to also see that she won't meet you until she may be about 25 years old and that she has to either abstain from sex completely until this time or can only sleep with guys that have less than seven inches in their pants?

Yes those questions do sound really stupid don't they? Come on guys, give your SO's a break and worry more about bringing peace and joy into your relationship and not so much about the size of anyone she's been with before.

I can tell you from personal experience that size isn't everything but that's another story.

I know from personal experience. I'm 6 ft athletic 200 lbs and a good looking guy. I never had any trouble getting dates but I didn't have long term girl friends. You ask why??? Cause in my younger days I was kind of an asshole. Not a violent to women asshole or anything like that but I just wasn't marrying material at the time. I had a wandering eye for the women, really had no interest in them other than come let's run around doing some drinking and screw. Deep relationships I did not have. Just the fact that when one chick was getting rid of me I was already lining up the next one is a good indication that I'm not husband material. That went on for years until I decided I don't want to stay up late any more. LOL. Time for a wife.

Women are looking for different things along the way and in the end penis size is not high on most of their lists.

[TPW Senior Member Member of the Month Oct 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close TPW]

At 19 yes. There are insecurities from your lack of experience and immaturity. That's why I learned not to ask questions I might not like the answer to, even though I've been told by more than a few girls that I was pretty big. Different girls commented on a specific aspect whether it's the rythym I had going, size, kissing or a particular technique. You still had that doubt in the back of your mind, if you can do something better. When I didn't care too much about the girl, then I wasn't too concerned if my performance was my best. If I liked her then yes I wanted make sure I did my best and she was satisfied. You want her to want more. Now at 36 I don't care. I am who I am. If I am good enough great. If not then we're not compatible.

Hey BigDaddy,

When you were younger, was the insecurity of not being experienced enough a cause for concern because you worried that she would leave you for someone more experienced or was it because of something else?

[WIItard Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close WIItard]

If a guy asks and finds out he is less endowed than Billy last guy then too bad. He asked for it and got it.

Men expect a perfect answer to a fooked up question.

Especially if you're like 5 inches, why on earth would you ask a question that you aren't going to like the answer??? Right now I'm like 8 x 5 1/2 and I wouldn't ask my wife if she had bigger guys in the past. Senseless question and I don't really want to know she was banging some huge 10 X 8 guy in the past. LOL> Next thing she'll be saying is his friend was 9 x 7 and she liked to have three ways with them both...... That will give you a good visual I'm sure.

Guys who ask their girl friends how big their ex's were should instead ask how many threesomes she's had with two guys??? I'm sure they'll like that answer even more.

[Bigdaddy55 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Bigdaddy55]

Hey 4HerPleasure,

I am sure you can see why this confounds me. If the size of a man's package is truly what constitutes a "better man" then why wouldn't the woman simply have stayed with the ex? Surely she would choose the "better man" of the two?

And as we all know this isn't often the case, it seems we have some faulty logic going on here, doesn't it? Either the woman chose poorly or it means that the size of a man's penis was NOT the determining factor when she chose who she believed to be the "better man".

It's why Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. Men and Women each have different thought processes that the other sex just can not understand. What we think women want is not their priority and vice versa.

[stilltoosmall Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close stilltoosmall]

I have seen so many of these threads about an ex being bigger in my time here and yet I am still confounded as to why this continues to be such an issue and for so many male members. I know that "insecurity" is the most commonly cited reason but what specifically is the root cause of the insecurity? Perhaps if we could understand the root of the insecurity, the issue could be eliminated once and for all.

So if I may ask, what is it about a woman having a larger ex that concerns some men? What are they worried about exactly?

Because men know that women cheat, often for 'superficial' reasons (actually, men do for the same reasons too, not moralizing, just recognizing), and penis size is one of the top things culturally defines a 'man' as a 'man' along with the hyper-masculanized image of 'manhood'.

Six pack abs, fast cars, big dicks. All define 'masculine' in today's culture. And that's all we see; in porn we see the top 0.01% of cock sizes fuck thin, buxom, hyper-sexualized, one dimensional 'woman'; about as related to a real life people as a painting to a real life person, in both sexes.

The problem comes when people PINE for this because this is what they grew up with, what they were turned on by when they were first coming to sexual realization. Then they become more extreme as time goes along; and the fantastic realm merges into the 'real' world, for both sexes.

'The Hung Ex' is, in our mind, the projection of this hyper-masculanized man that wets pussies by mere word of mouth and hand gestures. Importantly, 'we' (real person living in real world) do not 'measure up' to our own projections. Suddenly, a chasm opens that cannot be closed, between our current reality, and what we believe that reality MUST have been like for our SO.

No amount of assurances about "Oh, but there were other issues, and blah blah." will really suffice to take away our projections. They will only embolden them in some; "why is she trying to talk down what OBVIOUSLY (to the male mind) MUST be the much more superior experience?"

You have to understand; this is NOT a question of objectively defined standards. This is primal, human/primate psychology stuff. At least, that's how this issue seems to me after some thought.

[namsokiek Banned Find all posts View Profile Close namsokiek]

This is primal, human/primate psychology stuff.

Funny, I have never seen another primate pining-about because of the same thing.

However, I have seen many, many emotionally immature "men" ask the question then let the answer ruin their life. So, no so much primal as juvenile.

[AlteredBeast86 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close AlteredBeast86]

I asked this question once with an EX... I did not like the answer I received. I was 23/24 at the time. Fast forward 4-5 years; the idea of me even asking or thinking about this subject is remote. 100% none of my business who a woman has slept with in the past. It's a freedom you obtain when you realize who you are, what you're worth and when you obtain a profound respect for women. In general, you point to me a guy worrying about his girl's sexual history, and i'll point to you a boy that doesn't respect women.

[popol5169 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2014 Find all posts View Profile Close popol5169]

Mmm no.
I'll point to you a boy who doesn't respect himself.

[namsokiek Banned Find all posts View Profile Close namsokiek]

I asked this question once with an EX... I did not like the answer I received. I was 23/24 at the time. Fast forward 4-5 years; the idea of me even asking or thinking about this subject is remote. 100% none of my business who a woman has slept with in the past. It's a freedom you obtain when you realize who you are, what you're worth and when you obtain a profound respect for women. In general, you point to me a guy worrying about his girl's sexual history, and i'll point to you a boy that doesn't respect women.

Mmm no.
I'll point to you a boy who doesn't respect himself.

Both