Anal

[Rando Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Rando]

Aw shucks the bar is too expensive. Just go to Penn State, but don't forget to bring your children!

LOL, I like it, but probably too soon for this crowd.

[insight Member Find all posts View Profile Close insight]

I'm in a bit of a picky situation. My girlfriend was against anal. When we first started going out that area was a no go zone and she didn't understand why I thought differently, however I respected her feeling and never pushed her. Recently she has been off her contraceptive pill for to long of a period that she now has to wait until her normal menstrual cycle to come before she can go on it again (or go on the needle).

During this time I have been preventing myself from getting off during sex and she's getting absolutely pissed that she is the only one getting something. I don't easily get off during head, and she likes seeing my face (for some reason) when I reach my peak and loves the satisfaction that she's the one doing it.

It's come to the point where she's now researching anal, reading sex books about it and even talked to work friends who have had experience with it. She's given me a deadline that if her normal menstrual cycle does not return by Friday, we do anal. I've tried talking her out of it, but she says she's actually kind of keen to do it after doing her own research, talking with people with experience and watching videos.

I don't want this to be a bad or awkward experience, and so far from her reading/research she has come to this:

1. Must be hygienic; apparently it's a good idea to have a shower with each other before performing anal, something to do with germs/bacteria. While in the shower it's a good idea to get each other sexually aroused, and even playing with her anal area so she get's comfortable with the idea.
2. Getting her stimulated; apparently she has to be fairly stimulated before doing anal, getting her more sexually aroused, playing with her anal region and making her 'want' it.
3. Lube; and lot's of it.
4. Relaxation; While keeping her stimulated, it's a good idea to start with your fingers or smaller sex toys to get her anal region used to being penetrated and relaxed.
5. Lube; and lot's more of it.
6. Penetration; while performing the first penis to anal penetration it's a good idea to go really slow. Start with the head and let her adjust to your size. Move in a little more and look for signs of pain/discomfort (if she doesn't tell you). Pull out slowly and move back in slightly further. Keep doing this until she is relaxed and is able to take the full penetration.
7. Consistency; keep at a consistent slow pace until she is able to fully relax and begins to enjoy the feeling. Only when she is ready for you to start increasing speed should you do so.

Is there anything else we should know? I'm a little curious to know more about...umm...the 'poo' side of things, is this ever a problem with some people? I'd hate to come out brown or smelling really bad of shit or having bits stuck my my penis. I take it the lube helps with this?

[someone_like_u Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close someone_like_u]

I'm in a bit of a picky situation. My girlfriend was against anal. When we first started going out that area was a no go zone and she didn't understand why I thought differently, however I respected her feeling and never pushed her. Recently she has been off her contraceptive pill for to long of a period that she now has to wait until her normal menstrual cycle to come before she can go on it again (or go on the needle).

During this time I have been preventing myself from getting off during sex and she's getting absolutely pissed that she is the only one getting something. I don't easily get off during head, and she likes seeing my face (for some reason) when I reach my peak and loves the satisfaction that she's the one doing it.

It's come to the point where she's now researching anal, reading sex books about it and even talked to work friends who have had experience with it. She's given me a deadline that if her normal menstrual cycle does not return by Friday, we do anal. I've tried talking her out of it, but she says she's actually kind of keen to do it after doing her own research, talking with people with experience and watching videos.

I don't want this to be a bad or awkward experience, and so far from her reading/research she has come to this:

1. Must be hygienic; apparently it's a good idea to have a shower with each other before performing anal, something to do with germs/bacteria. While in the shower it's a good idea to get each other sexually aroused, and even playing with her anal area so she get's comfortable with the idea.
2. Getting her stimulated; apparently she has to be fairly stimulated before doing anal, getting her more sexually aroused, playing with her anal region and making her 'want' it.
3. Lube; and lot's of it.
4. Relaxation; While keeping her stimulated, it's a good idea to start with your fingers or smaller sex toys to get her anal region used to being penetrated and relaxed.
5. Lube; and lot's more of it.
6. Penetration; while performing the first penis to anal penetration it's a good idea to go really slow. Start with the head and let her adjust to your size. Move in a little more and look for signs of pain/discomfort (if she doesn't tell you). Pull out slowly and move back in slightly further. Keep doing this until she is relaxed and is able to take the full penetration.
7. Consistency; keep at a consistent slow pace until she is able to fully relax and begins to enjoy the feeling. Only when she is ready for you to start increasing speed should you do so.

Is there anything else we should know? I'm a little curious to know more about...umm...the 'poo' side of things, is this ever a problem with some people? I'd hate to come out brown or smelling really bad of shit or having bits stuck my my penis. I take it the lube helps with this?

BW most certainly has more experience in this, as my hubby & I have only had 1 successful anal encounter. I'd suggest first digging through all the anal threads you can on this site, they helped me.

My newbie suggestions:
1. I made sure I went #2 hours beforehand, we had very little mess.
2. We didn't use any toys, just fingers and lube did the trick.
3. Let her set the pace, I had no problem telling hubby when I was ready for more.
4. We did it in doggy, as suggested here, and I was in total charge until I had him all inside me. This was a must, and he understood beforehand. I didn't start moving him in and out of me until after he was all the way in. After he was in, we were still for about 15-30 seconds, then I started slowly thrusting. After a few minutes, I was comfortable with him taking over and going as fast and hard as he wanted.

Well, that's my experience. You and her seem to have a good bit of info. to go on already. Just have fun and enjoy.

[Batwoman Moderator ReservePEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Batwoman]

Yes, this thread and another one (https://www.pegym.com/forums/womans-...questions.html) have lots of good information.

As far as additional points:
Lube is critical, and anal lube is MUCH better for anal sex than regular lube.

Mess: yes you may have a bit, mostly it usually consists just of slightly off-color fluids. You know how there are often wet patches or drip spots on the bed after a good round of sex? Be prepared for these to be a bit brownish (not gross or smelly, just brownish) after anal. If you put a towel under you then you can just roll it up and put it in the laundry afterwards, that's probably the best way to deal with it. We like to have something to wipe off with handy too.

Some books and websites suggest that the lady use an enema before anal sex to get really clean, but truthfully I have never had the time or inclination to go that far with it. I do try to make sure I am clean beforehand but a shower immediately before has not seemed necessary. More important is where I am in the timing of my daily cycles.... we all know there are times of day when a bathroom visit is looming in the next couple of hours, and those are NOT the times I encourage anal sex. Make sure your lady friend is comfortable enough to tell you when anal sex seems like a good idea to her.... and when it doesn't.

[someone_like_u Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close someone_like_u]

Batwoman, somehow I knew you would be on here singing the praises of anal sex.

Misty, you don't like anal?

I was always against it when I was younger, and my poor husband would get shot down anytime he came near it or the mere mention of it, but I am enjoying it now

[Batwoman Moderator ReservePEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Batwoman]

Misty does not like anal, and thinks that most women do it only to please men (forgive me if I am misinterpreting your viewpoint, Misty). From that comes the idea that men should not ask women for anal sex since doing so constitutes putting pressure on them, and they probably would give in for the wrong reasons. All that overlooks the fact that some of us enjoy anal sex for all the right reasons -- and we don't think it's wrong for couples to talk about it and explore anal pleasures, as long as the desire to do so is mutual.

[Batwoman Moderator ReservePEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Batwoman]

I should also say that I really do think that anal sex should be considered "advanced sex" -- not something to be engaged in casually. The trust necessary for a woman to truly enjoy it both physically and emotionally probably requires (in most cases) the context of a long-term loving relationship.

[spanky Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close spanky]

I've only done it a few times but it's never been a pressure thing. In fact, it was usually her idea. The first time was *not* in the context of a long-term relationship either, we'd been together for a week maybe? It was just something we both wanted to try out. We'd been joking about it and I remember a friend of hers saying "you have to know somebody really well to do that" ... well, on the contrary! Afterwards I asked her if it hurt (and looking back I was probably too rough - no lube), and her reply "yeah, but it feels soooo good" will stay with me for a long time

[someone_like_u Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close someone_like_u]

I'll admit that we first tried anal because of my husband. We tried it on several occasions before we had kids and it wasn't a pleasant experience, never got past head penatration. I never felt any pressure from my husband to do it. At the time, it didn't work, so we moved on. Anyway, while my husband was gone on this last job, I started searching about anal, that's how I came to pegym.

I always enjoyed him touching or fingering me but, looking back, we always rushed things, so it never went well. A few days before he was to come home, I told him we were going to try again and I would set the pace. We talked about what we were going to do and everything went amazing when he came home.

So at first, for me, it was about something he wanted. It turned out to be a wonderful new experience for both of us that we both enjoy and want now.

[Total_Honesty Banned Find all posts View Profile Close Total_Honesty]

My girl flat out REFUSED anal sex when we first started dating. It took some time before she would agree to it and now she'll do it on special occasions. I can tell that she's open to the idea of anal more than she has before.

[Batwoman Moderator ReservePEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Batwoman]

There is no question that anal can be scary for women and that it can hurt if done badly. That combination turns off a lot of women. That's why I think that anal should start with open conversations about it between partners, and lots of anal play (touching, caressing, fingertip penetration, etc.) over days/weeks with no pressure to go further until she wants more.

[Batwoman Moderator ReservePEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Batwoman]

Well, it truly doesn't have to hurt at all -- indeed, it can be a source of great physical and emotional pleasure for a woman -- as both someone_like_u and myself can attest to. I certainly don't think my dignity suffers one bit because I enjoy anal sex!

But that said, I totally support your decisions about yourself and your own body, Misty. If you don't want to experiment with it, you absolutely have the right to say "no".

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

So what does everyone want for lunch or is this a bad time to bring it up?

[Batwoman Moderator ReservePEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Batwoman]

Ummmm.... yes, I am enjoying other thoughts right now!

[snuffy Member Find all posts View Profile Close snuffy]

Well I am sad to say I didn't get to explore anything last night. She had a OBGYN visit yesterday morning with a new doctor and she didn't like him at all. She said her body wasn't feeing very happy after the Dr. Visit. I could't blame her for feeling that ways. It will happen soon enough. But I am glad I was able to get everyone else in the anal exploration mood! :-)