Anal

[Rando Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Rando]

Misty, you said you don't like anal b/c there are no pay-offs for you and it is pretty much all about the guy's enjoyment, but isn't that true of a lot of sex acts? If people were only willing to do stuff that they personally get pleasure from then there would be no blowjobs, handjobs, guys going down on their girl, etc.

If I truly care about a girl, I want her to have the most mind blowing experience possible and that sometimes includes doing things to her that I don't get physical pleasure from per se, but I get immense pleasure from seeing her writhe around in pure ecstasy. I guess I could see how certain guys could make anal into something that is degrading to women, but then that would make anal sex more of a problem with just those guys and not men in general. I know myself, and it sounds like many guys here, approach it in a much more caring manner.

[spanky Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close spanky]

I did experiment. I did it 2x. They guy was super small too. Never seen a guy smaller, and F**k it hurt. I endured through the pain, which I happen to believe most women do.

I also learned if you do it once, they will want it again and again. They will keep bugging you saying all kinds of stuff like I'll be gentle, I'll go slow, we'll use lube, I'll make it feel good, I'll on go only half way, on and on. That is called pressure.

I have so much to say. I can't speak freely about it on here.

misty, your experience is your experience and nobody can argue with it. Indeed nobody can argue that a lot of guys will want it too and may well pressure their girl - there's a certain sense of achievement in many men's social circles about it as I'm sure you know. I have my brown wings, as some guys say, so I dont feel the need to check that item off the list. Plenty do of course, and there are plenty of insensitive men around who see sex as a sport, as in "yeah I got the dirty bitch to do 'x'" so they can come to the pub later and boast to their mates. I'm not like that (much) but plenty are. Whether they're telling the truth about it or not.

However, I can promise you that there are plenty of girls out there that like it too. My ex told me many times that she did and I had no reason to disbelieve her. She asked me to put it up there, and she was the one demanding it harder. I *never* pressured her.. I can take it or leave it frankly, though of course maybe if I did it more often I'd change my opinion. Only if she was into it though, since most of the pleasure of sex for me is leaving the girl a quivering wreck rather than just getting my thing. Personally I don't have many boundaries in sex - that's one of the things that makes it so damn good, doing things you don't necessarily talk to others about. But everyone has their taste, and probably their reasons for it.

That's fine, right? Otherwise every new sexual partner we got, we'd just pick up where we left off! Half the joy of a new partner is finding these things out.. and yeah, if you can, showing that girl or guy something new. So of course, having been with a girl who loved it I'd suggest it, since I know how much a girl can enjoy it. If she says no, then there you go. end of conversation. Same with me. A lot of the girls I've been with have tried to (and succeeded) putting a finger up my arse while we're at it. I'm not that keen personally, I get a bit of a poo complex about it. I'm working on that though, and have been toying with an Aneros to get over myself and to find out what it can do. But that's just me. I'm sure the majority of guys on here would think twice about doing the same. And that's fine. It's supposed to be about pleasure, right? And everyone has slightly different tastes.

I do hope this girl I'm starting out with now likes filthy talk though... That rocks my world

[insight Member Find all posts View Profile Close insight]

I wasn't directing my post to you

I never said you did, however later in your post I'm currently replying to you said you were just writing it to a mass of people but you don't specify what mass, you just say males, and I am a part of that mass.

If you don't want people to take offence then be more specific.

PERSONALLY, I don't see how a guy can be offended anyway. They are at the top of the ladder in the human pecking order. Nothing I say is gonna change or take away their standing.

If you really want to live in a country where women are quickly taking control. Come move to Australia with me . We are a country where it's socially accepted to bring down and talk shit about males (specifically white males) and it's a criminal and fine-able (even jail-able) offence to discriminate women.

I do believe Batwoman has said she does not have anal orgasms.

You can't say that like it's a bad thing though. I don't get orgasms from receiving head from my girlfriend but I certainly enjoy it. Is that bad? My girlfriend loves having her boobs stroked/licked and sucked, but she doesn't orgasm from that either. Is that bad?

Sexual activities don't have to lead to orgasms, it's also about pleasure, emotion and feelings. I've had sex many times without getting an orgasm and so has my girlfriend. We don't normally complain because it still feels damned good.

A day might come when one will just get an ear full.

And maybe you should.

I am a male with a very low sex drive. I have NEVER pressured my girlfriend into sex as she is generally always in the mood. However her sex drive is way higher then mine and she generally tries to pressure me and I'm constantly shooting her down. She's gotten very upset about it a few times saying stuff like "it makes me feel unwanted, unattractive, unloved when you say NO like that" and "I feel dirty, slutty" etc. What the hell am I supposed to do, give in? I'm also the type of guy who can't maintain an erection unless I'm in the mood so even when I try to force myself I just go flaccid.

I've been going out with her for 3 years. She has NEVER said 'no' to me, yet I say 'no' more times then I do 'yes'. Sometime I feel really bad. But as I said, I'm a male who is in the mood for sex maybe once or twice every week or two compared to a women who would prefer a few times a week.

One MAJOR downfall to my low sex drive is that I LOVE teasing my girlfriend. I do it for the enjoyment and fact it pleases her, but it drives her crazy for sex and generally I'm not in the mood, I just want to play.

I guess I'm the opposite to what a male should be LMAO

[Batwoman Moderator ReservePEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Batwoman]

Everyone is different and I firmly believe that the key to a happy sex life is to explore the boundaries of what you and your partner both enjoy. Giving pleasure to someone else can be just as rewarding as being pleasured, in my opinion. And there are oh so many ways to do both, if you are open-minded and communicate your desires and fantasies to your partner effectively (and get him/her to return the favor). It should all be about mutual enjoyment, not the details of who cums when and from what.

Do I get orgasms from anal sex alone? No (at least not yet ). Do I have orgasms during anal sex? Sure! It takes a bit of clit stimulation for me to get there..... but I have had great orgasms while my partner was deep inside my ass. I love that. Do I enjoy anal sex physically if I don't cum? Oh yes! As many of the guys above have pointed out, one can get great physical pleasure out of acts that don't involve cumming.

Great pleasure from sex comes from enjoying the whole process, not just the orgasm at the end.

[spanky Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close spanky]

Great pleasure from sex comes from enjoying the whole process, not just the orgasm at the end.

Absolutely. I feel I should also point out, since Prem Ejac is kind of my "zone" here that thinking this way is pretty much key to the psych side of lasting longer too.

[Batwoman Moderator ReservePEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Batwoman]

Can we not make this yet another thread about the whole male/female thing? Let's keep it focused on anal sex, please.

[insight Member Find all posts View Profile Close insight]

I know the guy I like/love can get pleasure from any woman.

It seems you have insecurities. You can just as or even more easily have sex with another guy as well. What's your point?

No problem. But this is about fucking women up the ass and it is about males doing it. (male/female thing)

Although not quite as common (at least I'd imagine not), MANY men get screwed up the ass to, and I'm not just talking about gay guys or bi-sexuals.

Fine. We got it...you love it...I hate it. The end.

This thread is here to provide information to people (at least that's how I'm reading it). I would much rather it not end just yet as I'm still learning.

I just talked to my girlfriend just a few minutes ago about the issue. Told her I was not comfortable with the idea as it seems a sudden change in mind for her. Apparently she has given the thought for quite some time now and just didn't tell me. I'm not to sure what to think about that.

I'm also a little worried about my penis size. I'm below average length at (or slightly below) 5" NBPEL, but my girth worries me. As batwomen stated in an earlier post of hers:

Length is not what I worry about -- it's girth that it is hard to accommodate. I think I could probably enjoy 5.5 EG anally.... but beyond that might well be too much to be comfortable or fun.

I'm 5" girth and 5.5" when I'm rock hard (slightly more when I'm rock hard and pulsating aka ejaculating). I've seen my girlfriends ass and she looks tight. This would be her first time and I'm worried that even with lots of lube, it may be uncomfortable for her or even painful.

Would a women not need to adjust to a bigger girth over a period of time? What can I do? She has a sex toy, longer but thinner then I am, should I use that first until she get's used to it?

[Batwoman Moderator ReservePEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Batwoman]

My advice is don't rush anything! Do a lot of play -- and I mean a lot -- with your fingers first. A less girthy sex toy might be a good start too. Make sure you have anal lube (not just regular lube) and take plenty of time. It may take you multiple sessions of anal play and penetration with fingers etc. before she is ready for your cock.

Also be sure to let her set the pace on everything. If she thinks she'll disappoint you by not going all the way the first time you try, then she might rush it too much and end up with a painful experience. I know from my own beginning experiences that it is very hard to control what your ass does..... relaxing versus clamping down is not something that is easy to control at first. There were times that I desperately wanted to relax and open up for him, but just couldn't get my body to do it. With time I have gotten much better at this, now I can pretty much open up for him whenever I am aroused and ready..... but it was not always like that.

So, be very patient!

[insight Member Find all posts View Profile Close insight]

So, be very patient!

Thanks. What anal lube do you recommend? She's been nagging me to buy some, but I'm taking it as slow as possible.

[Batwoman Moderator ReservePEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Batwoman]

I really like the anal lube sold by Adam and Eve (just goggle them) -- they sell it under their own label.

[Steve23 Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Steve23]

No problem. But this is about fucking women up the ass and it is about males doing it. (male/female thing)

Fine. We got it...you love it...I hate it. The end.

If you're not into anal sex then don't post here, or if you have an experience you like you share like you did, post it and leave it at that. Anal sex isn't some domination thing, unless you're always dating the wrong type of guys, but sorry from most of your posts it seems like you are. Or it's all in your head.

[funflyer Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close funflyer]

If you're not into anal sex then don't post here, or if you have an experience you like you share like you did, post it and leave it at that. Anal sex isn't some domination thing, unless you're always dating the wrong type of guys, but sorry from most of your posts it seems like you are. Or it's all in your head.

Just a thought here but maybe she made choice in the past that affect her future feelings/ideas of things. People live and learn. We haven't lived her life. We don't know who she was with. She has had bad experiences and has shared those. It doesn't mean she is wrong or she is dating the wrong type of guy now. Nor does it mean this is all in her head. I had a terrible experience with the birth of my son. Bad enough that at 20 I found a urologist to give me a vasectomy. I told him what happened and that I never wanted to be in that situation again. Even to this day with a different spouse another child is out of the question. Fortunately for me she came with 3 wonderful kids already born. Does my past experience mean my current and future decisions for me are wrong? Not to me.

Back to sex please!

[Steve23 Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Steve23]

Just a thought here but maybe she made choice in the past that affect her future feelings/ideas of things. People live and learn. We haven't lived her life. We don't know who she was with. She has had bad experiences and has shared those. It doesn't mean she is wrong or she is dating the wrong type of guy now. Nor does it mean this is all in her head. I had a terrible experience with the birth of my son. Bad enough that at 20 I found a urologist to give me a vasectomy. I told him what happened and that I never wanted to be in that situation again. Even to this day with a different spouse another child is out of the question. Fortunately for me she came with 3 wonderful kids already born. Does my past experience mean my current and future decisions for me are wrong? Not to me.

Back to sex please!

True but that doesn't mean people should just spread negativity around just because they had a bad experience themselves, if I had a bad experience with something I don't go around saying most women this or that like I know every woman and what they are thinking, same should go for others here too.

But yeah Batwoman i've used that lube and it's wonderful. Funny how a type of lube just for anal can make a world of difference.

[Ivor Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Ivor]

Misty, you said you don't like anal b/c there are no pay-offs for you and it is pretty much all about the guy's enjoyment, but isn't that true of a lot of sex acts? If people were only willing to do stuff that they personally get pleasure from then there would be no blowjobs, handjobs, guys going down on their girl, etc.

I'm not sure I get you - I get enormous pleasure from going down on my girlfriend, as she does from doing the same to me. Your statement only makes sense if you equate 'sexual pleasure' with 'direct stimulation of the penis or clit/vagina', which is a pretty narrow definition of sexual pleasure! I mean, it's pleasurable to cup a nice pair of tits with your hands 'even though' it doesn't directly tickle your cock, isn't it?

[second lensman Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close second lensman]

Went in like a bullet once accidentally when she was very slimy and she bucked me off like a bronco and it never happened again.