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Is this a fact, or a compensatory strategy? This is somewhat my issue, but I do hear this often from people I minister to. Discuss......
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~ Pax Et Bonum ~ -
If you do not have time for a relationship, you are not ready for a relationship so be satisfied with your one night stands or celibacy. Your choice.Valued Member of 12+ years at the PEGym12/'09 (start) NBP EL - 4.5, EG - 4.4
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To me that's like people making excuses that they don't have time to workout. It's a choice. If you want something then you MAKE time. We all have the same 24 hours to work with.Comment
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Long-term relationships often require a considerable amount of time, energy and an emotional investment to be successful. Many people recognize this and because of their current life circumstances and/or goals, choose not to pursue a romantic relationship at a particular time in their lives...and rightly so.
Having said that, there are many people who use the "I don't have time for a relationship" simply as an excuse because:
- they are afraid of heartbreak and getting hurt.
- they are concerned about drama, emotional outbursts, etc.
- they are reluctant to give up their singlehood.
- they are afraid to allow someone to get to know them...all of them.
- they are not convinced that "real love" really exists. They have either had unsuccessful relationships in the past of have witnessed unsuccessful relationships (parents, friends. etc.)
- they are worried this person is not "the one" and so may miss the chance to find the "right one". These people often have exceedingly high and/or unrealistic expectations about love and romance.
- they are afraid of the inevitable changes that happen within a relationship as well as with each other.
- they are concerned that their love interest will not approve of and try to change their lifestyle.
- they are worried a long distance relationship will end in failure.
- they are afraid to leave their family.
While there may be times when it is not feasible to enter into a relationship, it is also important to recognize that it may actually be fear that prevents people from pursuing romance.Last edited by TPW; 08-11-2014, 03:58 PM.
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I completely agree, which is why I avoid them entirely.Originally posted by not2big View Post~ Pax Et Bonum ~Comment
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Are you sure we don't know each other????? I let my roommate read this thread, and your response made her laugh herself to tears.....CONSPIRACY!!!Originally posted by The Passionate Wife View Post~ Pax Et Bonum ~Comment
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Oh absolutely!!! She is my roommate, but prior to that arrangement, she was my girlfriend. She broke up with me about 16 months ago and has watched me evolve in my philosophies about myself and how I interact with the opposite sex lol. Truth is, I would be thrilled if she were to fall in love with me again....but we are SUCH good friends right now, I'm not completely convinced that I would want that to change.Originally posted by The Passionate Wife View Post
I will blog about those circumstances at some point I should imagine. The bullet points you brought up are mostly true in my current state of being....but I am coming to terms with that
~ Pax Et Bonum ~Comment
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Depends. Sometimes you don't have time. There are other priorities in your life. School, work, etc. that take up too much time. Sometimes I just didn't want to. If I could get the milk without buying the whole cow I was going to.Comment
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That's exactly why I said IF you want something. We all make our own priorities.
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