No urges for porn.Usually I wake up horny with morning wood, didn't have that today which was a little strange. I edged twice sucessfully, once last night and once today. A bit of precum though. I'm getting aroused easier now. EQ isn't great like when I first started out maybe 75%. I had been takking horny goat weed which may have helped with that. Over all doing good. Noticed even flaccid my penis seems a little longer than it did . Possibly I'm imagining it lol.

So the past few days I have been watching my posture and voice. I'm standing taller, shoulders back. My voice is lower with less effort. Will work on projecting it soon. I hung out with some friends and went to BK for lunch. today.

I always had a touch of uncertainty I guess if I'm outside the comfort of home. I dunno really how to explain it. Not like nervous as in a panic like something bad would happen like I didn't belong or thought everyone was watching me (Yeah THATS how bad this anxiety shit was with me before I got control of it. It satys in the background like a fog. Its just there but doesn't bother me)

Today out there I felt calmer. I am not quite ready to interact with others just yet the thought doesn't terrify me or fill me with dread, I actually think I can do it effortlessly very soon. This is good steady progress and I am really happy with it. I am using meditation, hypnosis and self help books.

So as with any conversation among guys, the topic turns to girls. My friends have reminded me of some of my successes.
Like when 2 grils were dancing around a post outside a club. I said to my friend, bet I can dance with them. So I walk up. "Hey guys smooth moves, how about I join in?" "Yeah, sure!" There I was. Being grinded by two chicks outside a club. Guys and girls standing around wondering how the hell I did it. Ah yeah! That was freaking awesome!

Its easy to do this when you're egged on by mates after a beer. I also wasn't needy and I was kinda dancing (guy shuffle lol) When I approached them. So they saw it as fun. Which is why I did it.

Follow through and escalation. I didn't know what to do next. I could have started being adventurous with my hands. Since one was grinding up the front and the other was feeling my butt. Oh well. If it ever happens again, I'm going all in.

Another time we went to the casino. Dancing girls came out and did a show. They finished the crowd parted I casually asked one " So any chance of getting a dance in private?" I was smiling at first she didn't get it. Then she did. Smiled back. But she had to go with the others to get changed. That was for fun too.

Those are successes because although I didn't get into bed with them - due to circumstance or inaction on my part - I was able to open with them. To have fun. And not stand like a pussy in a corner wishing I had the balls to do this.

Anxiety does not have its claws in me. I am in control of it. I just need to remember that. When I have been successful in interacting with a woman, it has been when I am feeling happy. When I am focusing on having fun. Its kinda strange but when you go out and you focus on fun and you feel confident and open, people start to come towards you. I will have a much easier time with this now. I'm standing straight. My voice is deeper I talk slower - conveying confidence. PE wise is going to help the confidence in the bedroom, all I need to do is keep going. I'm set to win. I am inspired. I guess my fear is coming from not knowing what to do. So I'm finding out what to do in order to be able to do it right and find myself a nice girl. And there is one so far I have my eye on, a super nice brunette chick on a CBR500. Sorry Yamaha - but she revs my heart. And something else :P