The last blog I wasn't feeling great in it did drag up old wounds a bit. Anyway the past few weeks I was using porn to help get myself aroused. Once I had I would stop! So I thought I'd try arousal hypnosis. Wow. I orgasmed! It just felt right to go past the PONR in the moment. Although it was my first time with arousal hypnosis and I guess all the time I spent with porn is what made my dick hard, I was aroused but not fully maybe a 6-7 out of 10.

I had edged this morning with some slight morning wood. I just really got into the hypnosis. I'm thinking its gonna be the way I rid myself of porn completely. I feel amazing right now all tingly and stuff.

I'm once again looking forward to PE tonight! I did some last night but I guess my heart wasn't in it and I didn't feel so amped about like I have been. It also may be to do with the fact I didn't take my horny goat weed, which seems to help a bit and I have almost stopped kegels when I over did them last.

I would be happy if I knew I could get rock hard on command. It kinda goes hand in hand with the confidence stuff. Which I'm doing brilliantly with for the time I have invested. I can go in public and not get that anxiety shit anymore. I still need to focus on my voice before I speak though. Posture its generally good. I am actually pretty damn good looking. I have noticed a few girls checking me out.

I'm just not quite ready to go act on it just yet. The idea is appealing and doesn't scare me at all. The day is coming and its coming soon.

I just think about having fun. Confidence is there. If I could get hard on command you know what? I think I'd start making moves - actually start approaching. Then again right this second it does not matter as I am just starting out by talking, so I'm conditioned to that so when there is a girl who's up for whatever that does it for me I can read the signs and just go talk her up and escalate things and not bitch out.

5000% improvement compared to the biker meet when I just focused on feeling like shit and did nothing sat with friends kinda hunched over and anxious and shit. And now just all chill walking through a mall, have conversations (although not initiated yet) And I don't get anxious. So happy with that.