Well right now I'm having fun trying to do PE. I can get erect and aroused, I wouldn't say easily. I can get to the hard flacid state and maybe a bit more. I can't seem to contain it. I allowed myself to cum today after not touching my dick for 4 straight days, while we went to thunder beach. I think because I jacked off today and 4 days is the longest I've been without cuming or edging my body is wondering wtf is going on.

Damn shame - all the women were taken. I don't care since it was more about having a good 450 km ride and hanging out and talking motorbikes which I did with 4 of my mates who ride and we all got pissed every night once in a spa went swimming and had a party my god it was awesome!! I'm doing it all over again next year.

Well I did some PE last night. And I tired to tonight but I can't even get a semi, oh well, rest tonight. I'm trying out a new job tomorrow spray painting furniture. I usually spray up cars. Not nervous just aware there is a new change going on in my life. And I have another job opportunity doing fiberglass enforced concrete . Damn I want to do both! I will. I don not know how right now but I will be able to both at different times somehow. I've been off work and doing odd jobs now and then to get by on.

I think when I over did the kegels the other week it had done something. I just don't seem to be as hard as I was. Nor can I maintain it. Well when pay day comes around I'll see a urologist and go from there.

Anyway my self improvement is going great. Definitely more confident now. Am able to talk on my own free will barely ever nervous.
I also begin to realize what actually turns me on and what doesn't. The porn had desensitized me badly. I realize I like thick, curvy women. Stupidly I had a look at plus size porn today. I felt stirring but I stayed in control and didn't jack off to it, because luckily I had already done it when I woke with semi morning wood, which became morning wood.

Wide hips and big tits, I like! I also like some tats and piercings. I've always had a thing for them they just turn me on.
I also realize about myself I love being teased. Like when a girl bites her lip and looks at me suggestively.... or flashes me.
I do like foreplay, it can turn me on as much as it does her.

I find I'm really sensual too. I love touch. Hugs and kisses, running my fingers through her hair, kissing her all over, full body massages (although I dunno what I'm doing lol) I love oral sex, both giving and receiving.

I guess the last couple of girls I've dated were not as sexually adventurous as I was. I do have limits I'm not into full BDSM. But if a girl took charge, and took my pants off and started to have her way dominating me, I wouldn't fight it. I am actually suprised at how sexual I am. I think about sex a lot. My libido is rising. And soon my dick will be rising too. Think I'll rest it for a bit.

Its just funny starting to notice this now after all that time with my head full of anxiety bullshit and porn. Now I'm happy, confident and optimistic. Still doing meditation and hypnosis. I just know that my dick is healing, and needs some down time.

I want to be ready inside and out for when I find a curvy sensual chick who will be crazy for me. This job happened for me because I am ready. I wanted to be free of anxiety and I sure am now. And I just know its the same deal with my sex life.