Second Question For Men With ED

[peachykeen Member Find all posts View Profile Close peachykeen]

My next question is: When you, a man with ED, are unable to become hardduring a sexual moment with a love, what do you love your partner doing in that moment? What do you wish your partner would try?

I am looking for ideas on how best to please my boyfriend during what is sometimes an awkward moment. I am open to new ideas.

Thanks!
Peaches~

[Notbeginner Member Find all posts View Profile Close Notbeginner]

My next question is: When you, a man with ED, are unable to become hardduring a sexual moment with a love, what do you love your partner doing in that moment? What do you wish your partner would try?

I am looking for ideas on how best to please my boyfriend during what is sometimes an awkward moment. I am open to new ideas.

Thanks!
Peaches~

Your boyfriend cant get hard at all or he gets hard and loose erection in few moments? If its hard to maintain erection, then you can stimulate him till he gets hard...

[TheZZMan Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2018PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close TheZZMan]

You need to refocus his brain back to you with no reference to his ED. You need to refocus his mind on the moment. You need to get him to breathe deeply, slowly in and slowly out. Close his eyes and seduce him to which he thinks only of positive things. If that doesn't work, we take a 20 minute break and get a beverage or snack. If its late, we postpone things to the morning. As long as his brain is worried about it, it will be difficult for him to bounce back from it at the moment.

[peachykeen Member Find all posts View Profile Close peachykeen]

Your boyfriend cant get hard at all or he gets hard and loose erection in few moments? If its hard to maintain erection, then you can stimulate him till he gets hard...

Notbeginner,
He gets hard enough to have intercourse I would say about one out of every ten times. Lately, he has ended up cumming on various places of my body or in my mouth. He has been hard and lost it. Has not been able to get hard. Also, he has said that he hasn't felt like cumming and made it all about making me cum. I have struggled to get over not feeling adequate if he does not cum because I used to think of my sexual performance as a part of my personal value.
Peaches~

[peachykeen Member Find all posts View Profile Close peachykeen]

Your boyfriend cant get hard at all or he gets hard and loose erection in few moments? If its hard to maintain erection, then you can stimulate him till he gets hard...

Notbeginner,
Thank you. Sometimes I can stimulate him to get hard again, sometimes he does that himself, and sometimes he is never hard.
Peaches~

[TheZZMan Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2018PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close TheZZMan]

I have come to the realization that I love the tease and build up more than the actual orgasms, which for me have fallen relatively flat of late. I'm a little older than your man so, don't take it as a personal issue related to you, or your performance. BTW, is you are disappointed and concerned that this bothers you, I can assure you that he notices it and it will be on his mind. Another obstacle that needs to be cleared from his head. Always be upbeat about these things.

[peachykeen Member Find all posts View Profile Close peachykeen]

You need to refocus his brain back to you with no reference to his ED. You need to refocus his mind on the moment. You need to get him to breathe deeply, slowly in and slowly out. Close his eyes and seduce him to which he thinks only of positive things. If that doesn't work, we take a 20 minute break and get a beverage or snack. If its late, we postpone things to the morning. As long as his brain is worried about it, it will be difficult for him to bounce back from it at the moment.

TheZZMan,
I like the idea of blindfolding him and seducing him. Why doesn't just sitting on his face calm his mind, get him to move on, and let him enjoy himself fully?
Peaches~

[TheZZMan Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2018PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close TheZZMan]

TheZZMan,
I like the idea of blindfolding him and seducing him. Why doesn't just sitting on his face calm his mind, get him to move on, and let him enjoy himself fully?
Peaches~

Well, it worked for me ....just kidding.

Because he also is thinking about work, his partner, the bills that are due, the neighbor cat that keeps shitting in the driveway, the proposal due next Thursday, his dry cleaning, his favorite show on TV and most of all, the fact that the toilet runs every 15 minutes for no reason. It is that clutter that you need to break through first, before you can garner his full attention. You need to correct him, guide him and focus him -don't let him wander. I have an annoying habit of thinking about what I am going to cook for dinner. It just happens, the other Mods will tell you of my obsession in the back room here. It is a trial and error thing but never a negative experience (if you follow) eventually he will show progress. The best therapy I have is that my wife is totally on board with my ED and is determined that it will not rule out lives. It had taken me almost a year to get to this point, so patience is a virtue.

[peachykeen Member Find all posts View Profile Close peachykeen]

I have come to the realization that I love the tease and build up more than the actual orgasms, which for me have fallen relatively flat of late. I'm a little older than your man so, don't take it as a personal issue related to you, or your performance. BTW, is you are disappointed and concerned that this bothers you, I can assure you that he notices it and it will be on his mind. Another obstacle that needs to be cleared from his head. Always be upbeat about these things.

TheZZMan,
Having dated a wide variety of people.I have come to prefer older men. They have been more experienced and have REALLY appreciated my company. BDSM taught me the value of a good build up. I do not bring up his ED while we are naked. In fact, I rarely bring it up except to ask if he has thought of alternatives for Viagra or to ask if he wants me to do anything in particular to aid him. He never tells me anything that I can do. I am upbeat in bed. Right now (today) I am contemplating a lot while working on homework so I'm feeling mellow. Analyzing my behavior and his is not much fun. Plus, it is embarrassing to be open about my very personal failures to strangers. Everyone has been very nice though.I am learning from this forum.
Peaches~

[Hiplainsdrifter Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hiplainsdrifter]

Here's what works for me.....she gets out the Astroglide, lubes me up and gives me a nice loooong handjob. Gets me rock hard every time .