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  • EQ sucks and PE

    Hi all, I apologise that this may be a long one, but I feel it's necessary as it's not quite the same as any others stories I've read.

    So I'm a young (20) man, I've always been very healthy and active, whether that's football or gym, or running, ive always kept fit (the last year and a half I have been bodybuilding and making some good gains and really hit it off and enjoy it, I go gym 4-6 times a week and take a week off if I ever feel like I've overtrained) testosterone and blood flow are fine. (Also, no i have not used any steroids, and my diet is pretty good also) I've never had any issues with EQ or PE (had the occasional PE in sex but that happens to the best of us) i was having frequent sex for two years, never once having an issue always being able to get it up just looking at a girl and getting rock solid erections that lasted as long as I needed and I could get another one two minutes after if I wanted.

    I broke up with the girl and after that I won't lie I lost most my confidence in and out the bedroom, not sure why but I did, which probably didn't help in this situation. I also worry and stress over a lot of things and think I may have a slight case of anxiety (I feel a little sick and weird In my chest over silly things whether thats to do with a girl or something going wrong at work, it happens occasionally)

    I have been masturbating what I would say on average 1-2 times a day, 5/6 times a week for the last 3-5 years (from memory this seems fairly accurate) I've never been really one for porn so I don't think I have 'Pied' although, I usually got off just from nude photos or my mind, probably only using actual porn videos 20% of the time. I mostly just masturbated quickly to get Off quick as possible as never had much time (this probably didn't help my PE which gradually got worse over time) so anyway, at this point there was still no issue, I would go on dates or go to clubs and be getting annoying erections all the time.

    After being single about a year, I got close to a beautiful girl I knew and was comfortable around, I used to go on dates with her and get constant erections I would embarrassingly try to hide from her (at this point I feel my eq may have only been about 85% unlike before but I could still get an erection easily, they just weren't at their best) so i got a little bit drunk with this girl and things happened, at first I was constantly hard and kept hiding it, then as the night went on and we got to bed, I did my bits to her then when it came to
    My turn I was completely soft and we could not get it up (I was stupidly nervous and drunk which is what I blamed for them this, even tho drinking had never stopped me getting an erection before, so this was really embarrassing and weird for me).

    After this I forgot that happened and we kept dating and I resumed wanking with no issue and getting random erections on dates. I then went to have sex with her again, that day I had countless random erections but as soon as it came to it, boom had about a 50% and that wouldn't go in and ended up killing my confidence and having the same issue again.

    After this I then started to worry that I had an issue, this is when I then started having and noticing issues, everytime I went to
    Masturbate I worried that it would not get up and sometimes it would not. But if I relaxed a bit I could usually get a 65-80% hardness and get off but nothing more. I then started to really worry and start looking into this, because I wanted to have sex with this girl and I also wanted my old rock hard erections back.

    We then proceeded to try and have sex again, this time after a bit of trying I finally got a 85% ish erection, but it quickly went down to about 70% and to my shock I also then cummed after about 3 minutes whick fucking sucked.

    So After this she left and I decided to take a week and a half off the gym (in case I my have overtrained as inwas going 6 days a week at this point) and a week off masturbating and start doing normal kegels (I sucked at these) but after that week and a half I started getting some morning wood again which i couldn't remember having in ages (the morning wood was still only 80% ish and would go down quick unlike a year ago where it wouldn't go down until i peed or had sex) this was great news and helped my confidence a bit, since then I have been doing normal kegels 3 times a week a mixture of quick and long ones (i still feel like i suck at these) I am also trying to do a few reverse kegels but again i suck at these. I'm able to get an erection when touching it and trying to get my mind in it and I can get one that ranges anywhere from 70%-90% but it still is slow to rise and starts going down as soon as I stop touching or I lose the mood a bit, which again never used to happen.

    A few things I've noticed that may also help people answer - when I get close to point of no return I start involuntary kegeling (I've tried to reverse kegel To stop This which works but I can only do it a couple times until I have to cum and it beats me, maybe due to a weaker reverse kegel muscle than normal kegel? Although I feel they're both pretty week I can't hold both for any more than 10 seconds really, I think I definetly now have an unbalanced pelvic floor after reading into all this.

    Secondly, I used to be able to get an erection just thinking about a girl, now I can't seem to get one unless I touch my penis (Can't seem to get one just thinking about it at all) maybe my mind has kind of untrained That part so nofap may help?

    So to some it up. I believe my nerves in the bedroom (performance anxiety that I have developed somehow since my break up defo is affecting the bedroom side of things and seems to be what this all stemmed from) I don't have full ed at all, I can get a usable erection now, but it's defo not at top quality and it goes down very quickly as soon as I'm a little out the mood or if I stop touching it and it's also slow to rise and I don't get full Random boners much anymore, but still get fairly hard morning wood. I also involuntary kegel when close to ponr and also when I had a wee I always feel like there's more to come out and have to front kegel (most of this evidence pushes me to thinking my issue is just the pelvic floor and the muscles been unbalanced and week, but not sure if this is what the eq issue is or just pe, hopefully It's the answer to both. I'm considering trying a 70:30 reverse/normal kegel routine eaten than my usual which was more normal kegel dependant)

    Sorry it's been such a long one guys but I just want to fix this so I can confidently go back
    To having long, hard sex. Thanks for any help they may come my way!!

  • #2
    You have anxiety.

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    • #3
      That's what I thought at first and it's defo correct for sure in the sexual encounters. But with my erection quality being pretty poor and the fact even relaxed in bed trying to maturbate or with morning wood I'm only at like 85% quality max, and it goes down quickly, even if I'm not thinking about it, which doesn't make sense when I'm not stressing over it? Any ideas how to battle it if it's anxiety? Thanks for your help Pegasus

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      • #4
        Performance anxiety that has compounded itself into a fear every time the thing is about to happen, or even thoughts of it happening.

        Welcome to the club!

        I Had the same problem as a result of my drinking, even avoided sex for a while after I just became a nervous wreck because of sexual encounters. I couldn't kick the anxiety before sex, I thought I was gonna kill myself if I didn't get a fix for it.

        People might give me the stink eye for this, because I always mention this and nobody else does, but go the dr. and ask for valium/xanax/klonopin, some sort of anxiety med. My doc gave me a free sample of cialis and a benzo, and boom, I had sex. After that, I didn't need them anymore and my anxiety was gone. Might have been the best day of my life.

        This is our brain giving the fight or flight response before sex, it's a bastard. After the experience is conquered, the symptoms just seem to go away completely, at least from what I've read, and from my own experience.
        dairo
        Senior Member
        Last edited by dairo; 09-22-2016, 04:16 PM.
        "We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there was only joy in the world." - Helen Keller

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        • #5
          Yoga helps me with stress which can have numerous physical effects . You may have to find your own methos though.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by dairo View Post
            Performance anxiety that has compounded itself into a fear every time the thing is about to happen, or even thoughts of it happening.

            Welcome to the club!

            I Had the same problem as a result of my drinking, even avoided sex for a while after I just became a nervous wreck because of sexual encounters. I couldn't kick the anxiety before sex, I thought I was gonna die if I didn't get a fix for it.

            People might give me the stink eye for this, because I always mention this and nobody else does, but go the dr. and ask for valium/xanax/klonopin, some sort of anxiety med. My doc gave me a free sample of cialis and a benzo, and boom, I had sex. After that, I didn't need them anymore and my anxiety was gone. Might have been the best day of my life.

            This is our brain giving the fight or flight response before sex, it's a bastard. After the experience is conquered, the symptoms just seem to go away completely, at least from what I've read, and from my own experience.
            Yep this is the ideal result, but I seem to see more posts where the guy got long term addiction .

            Comment


            • #7
              I really find it hard to believe that. I'm and alcoholic, I know what addiction is. I know benzo's are addicting, however for a person who isn't a drug addict in the first place?

              To give the guy Yoga as and answer isn't going to help him. This is a fear that isn't going to go away. It compounds itself. I suffered from anxiety for years because of this shit. PE is horrifying and just compounds itself over and over again, until you just avoid conflicts. If a pill helps so what, at least the guy can function and live.
              "We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there was only joy in the world." - Helen Keller

              Comment


              • #8
                Thanks both for your ideas. I have been considering yoga as I do seem to stress a lot over silly things and my mind is always Racing. I have tried meditation but my mind just can't stay still or I get a bit tight and anxious and have to stop.

                Dario, i did consider this, but despite the anxiety part of my issue, I am still
                Having only average quality erections and they go down so easily, i haven't been with a women in a while because I want to sort this so the performance anxiety part i haven't suffered with recently as only been alone.

                But in my opinion I don't think Medicine will help as my issue isn't blood flow ect. Ive tried L'Arganine and Ginkgo ect to no avail. I think my issues are mental (anxiety and maybe my mind has some version of pied as I can't get hard with just thoughts or seeing things anymore) and also weak and tight pelvic floor as I involuntary kegel a lot and struggle to hold kegels for long and then get a weird weak feeling In pelvic area after (Maybe I overtrain as they're weak?)

                Thanks both.

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                • #9
                  To be frank, you need to talk to your dr. about this and not guys over internet.

                  Just to clarify I think you thought I was talking about the cialis, I wasn't exactly, I was more or less talking about the anti anxiety med.
                  dairo
                  Senior Member
                  Last edited by dairo; 09-22-2016, 05:06 PM.
                  "We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there was only joy in the world." - Helen Keller

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by dairo View Post
                    I really find it hard to believe that. I'm and alcoholic, I know what addiction is. I know benzo's are addicting, however for a person who isn't a drug addict in the first place?

                    To give the guy Yoga as and answer isn't going to help him. This is a fear that isn't going to go away. It compounds itself. I suffered from anxiety for years because of this shit. PE is horrifying and just compounds itself over and over again, until you just avoid conflicts. If a pill helps so what, at least the guy can function and live.
                    You've described the negative spiral very well. Catching one's self as early as possible makes things easier.
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                    • #11
                      I kept saying PE by accident. I meant erectile dysfunction.
                      "We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there was only joy in the world." - Helen Keller

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                      • #12
                        Thats cool, I knew what you meant. Part of me feels the anxiety is a big factor, but then if my morning wood and random erections are never at more than 75% ish then does that mean there's another issue? I'm going to take a month of touching it and do reverse kegels for the involuntary kegeling I get and see if that makes any difference. Any more ideas guys?

                        Appreciated.

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