20 Years Old and cant get an erection in sex or masturbating conventionally

[oamandrew Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close oamandrew]

Hi all, just found this page and I’m amazed it’s not more common knowledge.

Basically my whole life I have masturbated laying down, it started as a kid and just sort of continued. The way in which I masturbated meant I never got a full erection, I was more pleasuring myself by rubbing it against my body. This has always been the way I’ve masturbated, I will ejaculate slightly most times but never profusely.

Recently I have gotten a girlfriend and I am madly in love with her, yet I cannot please her like I should. I first told her it was a testosterone problem but after going to the doctors I’ve been told I’m all OK. Basically my problem is psychological and because I would never gain an erection with maturbating my brain has been taught that I don’t want an erection when I do.
I get morning erections almost daily and they are very hard, I also have a very large penis so I know when it is rock solid. I will also her rock solid maybe once a week on a bus or in some random situation.

I have got my penis to half erect in prior experiences with girls and sorta made it work but never fully. I know my problem is psychological and can never get erect for sex
I am currently waiting to see a psychologist but as most of you will know, I am more concerned for my girlfriend and if she will move on from me because I am not satisfying her.

I have ordered Viagra from a pharmacy (50mg) and I am wondering
BEGGING
if any of you know if this will kick start things for me in the bed room, and I could begin to wean myself off.
I can get to about 40% maybe 60% erect during sex and feel like viagra will help me maintain an erection hard enough for sex
And through this begin overcoming the psychological barrier
I am hoping others have similar stories or advice, although I cannot gain an erection when I want I am able to occasionaly
Thanks a lot, Andrew.

[Big Al AdministratorPEGym EditorMale Enhancement Coach Rep.PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Big Al]

Have you attempted to refrain from masturbation for awhile in order to allow your libido to peak? Are there any scenarios where your penis can get erect under your own power?

[oamandrew Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close oamandrew]

Hey thanks for the quick reply. I have literally told my self as of two days ago I’m never masturbating the way I do ever again, although it feels good I know it’s detrimental for me.
I am unable to ever get an erection by choice but have come close to during sex before, but it will go down as soon as she touches it.
I’ve got it to a point where I’ve managed to have sex but can tell I was only half way there.

It’s only been two days since I have masturbated this way and I AM VERY VERY uncomfortable. I have constant urges to go back to how I would masturbate but I am trying to convert these thoughts into thinking about becoming erect.

I have picked up some viagra and think I am seeing my girlfriend on Monday. I am thinking of taking it and telling her to take things slow as normally I dive into oral sex on her. I’m thinking maybe her kissing me and focusing on me being relaxed alongside the viagra could help?

[closed224 Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2014, Feb 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close closed224]

Yes that could help. Avoid the bad masturbation habits that should help. Avoid porn. Focus all sexual energies and thoughts on the real person that is your lover. I'm sure it will get better soon.

One other thing get the blood test results. The numbers are more important than you think.

[oamandrew Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close oamandrew]

Thanks for the positive thoughts!! Really appreciate it
I’m really really depresses about it at the moment as I just want her to be happy.
I have had my blood tests and they are all OK the doctors have said, they know it’s psychological but I am waiting on a psychologist.

I am going to wait until Monday to think about anything sexual at all, I’m hoping intimate time with her alongside viagra could induce an erection and hopefully begin the process of healing me psychologically.

Thanks a lot!

[closed224 Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2014, Feb 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close closed224]

Good luck, wishing you all the best.

[Big Al AdministratorPEGym EditorMale Enhancement Coach Rep.PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Big Al]

It certainly sounds like there's a strong psychological component to your issue.

Refraining from masturbation should be useful, but participating in stamina specific exercise will be helpful. Erect Kegels and (while difficult) the Stop and Starts exercise would be the normal recommendation, but you might also benefit from experimenting with the Master Your Orgasms exercise.

If you have a trusted sexual partner who can help you to work through these issues while allowing you to build your confidence then this would be invaluable.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

Never ever be satisfied with being told "normal" with a testosterone test . NEVER,

You need to get and post the numbers.

Viagra is addictive and an avoidance of the actual issue

[oamandrew Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close oamandrew]

Have you got any sort of idea of a time scale for this sort of thing to get fixed? I know it won’t be immediate but I am scared I am permanently like this
Do these issues get resolved?

[closed224 Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2014, Feb 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close closed224]

If you will patiently follow the program it works great. Never masturbate nor orgasm with a partial erection. Not ever. You trained your penis to be like this. Now train it to do what you want. It takes a little time and patience.

[oamandrew Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close oamandrew]

My only issue is that I cannot get erect in any way?? How will I begin to get erect.
This is why I’m taking viagra, I don’t intend to stay on it but if it is the only way I can get an erection I am willing to do it

[closed224 Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2014, Feb 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close closed224]

But you do get erections. In the morning and sometimes during the day. Part of your psychological issue is performance anxiety. You are afraid it won't get hard when with her so it doesn't get hard. Break the cycle and you will have erections when you want. Them. Trust in the process.

[oamandrew Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close oamandrew]

What’s your best advice for breaking this cycle though? More intimacy in the bedroom like kissing etc?

I read another post of someone having a similar problem and they took viagra and eventually they could wean themselves off. Do you think viagra would be effective for me as I can get somewhat erect but not fully? In my head the best way to tackle this is
-no masturbating / porn
-stay healthy
- more intimimacy and stay calm in the bedroom, I must feel relaxed
- take viagra before sexual contact and hopefully endure an erection, teach my brain this is how it wants to get sexual pleasure

[closed224 Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2014, Feb 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close closed224]

I think you should try the first 2 for a while. Talk to your girlfriend. Tell her you are interested in going slow. Kiss and fondle and just be very focused on her and intimacy. Give her oral pleasure, but don't force sex on uourself. There is nothing wrong with taking a little time and not pressuring yourself. If you can get out of your head and truly relax it will rise to the occasion.

[slickskin Member Find all posts View Profile Close slickskin]

Ordinarily I don't like it when people dismiss erection problem as "psychological" without testing for physical problems first. But since you said you get rock hard morning erections (you're lucky because I don't lol) in this case you're probably right.

I don't think it's wrong to masturbate or use Viagra like some people are suggesting. It's just that you can overdo it and "abuse it".