36 Year Old and Possible ED

[Krael Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Krael]

Hello!

I'm a 36 year old who is unhealthy (skinny, no exercise, eat's lot of junk food) who is recently having some erection issues as of this past week on top of other plumbing issues that may have to deal with celiac disease or crohn's disease. So, this is really my first encounter with these issues and it's got me a bit scared on what's going on.

I'm married with 2 kids and my sex life is healthy. On average, I have sex at least a couple times a week with my busy life and when our 3 year old is not constantly in our room. Unfortunately, I am a pretty horny guy and often masturbate quit a bit on top of watching porn. Thus, I often get hard pretty much every day and can normally have sex on command up until this week. Hence me freaking out that all of a sudden, it just stops.

So, to be honest here. My wife and I had a lot of issues a few weeks ago relationship wise (she unhappy with how I treat her, not our sex life). She opened up about a really hot fantasy with me as I'm trying to show her I care. We have not been as open to one another for the like 15 years of being with each other. She told me she wants to have a 3 some and all of that jive with either a man (new to me) or woman (she told me this years ago). This got me super turned on to the point where we had sex almost every day or every other day. Very intense sex and really issue free. Between this, I kid you not, I was so turned on by what she told me, I even masturbated after sex when she could not go on. One time, 3 times after I had sex with her. Never have done this, but she has got me hotter than hades.

One night last week, she got me super hot. Sending me 3some pics and got dressed in a super sexy outfit where she asked me to tie her up. We had an amazing time. When I was doing my deed, I got limp. I had went to hard to limp. But I actually recovered pretty quickly and did my thing. This week, we had sex and same thing happened. This time it freaked me out to a point of we had to wait for me to get myself hard enough to finish and even that was pretty hard.

This morning as I write this, not really getting hard anymore. So, I'm really freaked out. I feel like I am going downhill pretty fast and stressed I might have the early stages of ED.

That being said, I totally understand there are many bad things here. First, I watch a bit of porn and masturbate a bit. Even more so this past couple weeks. Very few people my age do what I did after sex. I have no doubt that my brain is going into overdrive to a point of no return. Secondly, I'm not healthy. I vape/smoke but don't drink. On the other hand, this is hitting pretty fast so I don't think it's blood flow related. Lastly, maybe due to the fact she told me this stuff I have high expectations and my brain is just not pleased unless she has the fantasy come true (i.e.: we've not lived the fantasy yet, just been in overdrive talking about it).

Any help guys? What should I do? Hit up the doctor or just give it some time? I feel my wife and I are on a really good path. We both feel our love has gotten stronger and our sex lives have trippled now we know this about one another. We have a big trip planned for a wedding anniversary where we are spending 4 nights together. Now with these issues popping up im scared to death.

[Krael Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Krael]

Well, maybe I'm just freaking myself out now. I was not really in the mood or having my normal erection in the morning. I went to drop off the dog at the vet and got some stuff at the store. I came home and my wife pulled me into the bathroom. I got an erection and then started to get nervous I would lose it. During oral, I could feel some new pain at the tip of my head and I automatically assumed it was a UTI. Maybe this is the cause.

I finished up quickly out of panic but clearly, if that can happen, maybe it's just all in my head then on top of other things like just not being healthy and possible UTI. Guess I will get off the porn.

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

Good idea!

[Ellford Senior Member Member of the Month Sept 2019 Find all posts View Profile Close Ellford]

Diet is so important in the onset of chronic disease that's it's coorolation is mind blowing. The problem we face globally is what's been wired into us over TV and advertising - there a pill for every ill. If I told you, you could CURE (not treat the symptoms (as that's all pharmaceuticals will actually do) most health issues with diet alone, you wouldn't believe me because you've bought in to the whole big pharma marketing.

In in your case all the stuff you mentioned can be addressed if you change your diet. Heck, you're a dad so you need to set an example for your kids. The very first thing you need to do is get off all junk food. When you can do that for a month, then start reducing your sugar intake (you'd be surprised, but there's sugar in nearly everything now), then start eliminating processed foods and get back into eating healthy, from the outside isles of the grocery store.

Or don't do this, keep on eating shit, and we'll schedule you for a Resection and Colonoscopy where you'll be shitting in a bag attached to the outside of your body for life. Sorry to foreshadow your future, but the truth hurts.

As for ED, it could be a UTI but you've given no real symptoms of one. Again, I'd hazard a guess your diet is catching up to you.

[Krael Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Krael]

Thanks for the replies.

I drink soda a lot. Lots of Mountain Dew. How does this impact it?

On that note, I did not really get morning wood today either. I was not really into sex at all after my wife yesterday. Like, I had zero sex drive. Feel a little of the same today. I fantasized about my wife a bit and took me a bit to get hard, but could get rock hard for a moment. So, I know its there just not able to do it quickly. I wonder if all the past excitement and so forth this week is just doing a number on me. That or my testosterone has dropped significantly for some reason?

Should I just wait it out?

[Krael Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Krael]

Hey all,

Another update.

I've spoken to my wife about these issues. She is cool with it. Wants to help. Last night, we had some pretty crazy sex. Did things we haven't really done and it was all hot. I can get erected when she is touching me and when I think about the things she is doing that really turn me on. However, my ability to hold the erection is certainly fading. This is something that seems to be getting worse. If we are quick this is not a problem. Sorta of like what I posted about previously, I can hold erection enough to get off quick. But when we have real sex, it certainly last pretty long and that's where I'm losing it.

To me, it feels like I'm just not as interested unless she is touching me. In meaning, I don't really feel horny or I'm becoming hard to turn on. I'm also not getting the normal morning wood. This sounds like a hormonal issue or testosterone issue. What do you guys think? I'm certainly going to see a doctor for sure now, but any insight is great.

[incogneeetoe Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2017*Special Appreciated Moderator Nov. 2021* PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close incogneeetoe]

Just my two cents worth:

You said you are 36 and in bad health. That pretty much sums it up for me. Age and bad health will lead to bad erections.

If you want to fix it, I suggest a holistic approach:
Improve diet
Improve exercise
Improve relationship outside of sex.

It'll take time, but the end results will be worth it

[Krael Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Krael]

Just my two cents worth:

You said you are 36 and in bad health. That pretty much sums it up for me. Age and bad health will lead to bad erections.

If you want to fix it, I suggest a holistic approach:
Improve diet
Improve exercise
Improve relationship outside of sex.

It'll take time, but the end results will be worth it

Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's going to be tied to my diet over something like narrow arteries or something like that. I won't rule that out as I do vape and have smoked as well have heart disease in my family (my son has BAV/CAV).

But yeah, 2 weeks ago, I could get hard without though and was horny all the time. Was like that since teens. I know a few years ago when I was scared of having colon cancer, blood work showed no major issues outside of dehydration because I drink so much soda and some pre-hypertension being I smoke/vape. My cholesterol was actually good even though I eat lots of fast food and no diabetes. Things change though.

I surely have gained some belly fat since then and I'm sure it's catching up with me. I've been eating a multi-vitamin now, drank water most of the day yesterday, subbed out some hamburgers for lunch for salads (ate salads for lunch on Monday and Tuesday), did a workout the other day, and we walk around the office like 4 times a day at work. Will try to do more, but I hope this will help.

Doctor appointment is scheduled for next Tuesday. I'm shooting for bloodwork and will post back what the doc thinks. He is a good one my wife recommended. Outside of my diet, I think this is low testosterone due to diet, but I'll let the expert tell me what he feels before I go down that road too much.

[Krael Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Krael]

More updates from me.

Things have been getting better. I am getting more morning wood. A little bit weaker, but like today, just waking up with semi-wood and it turning to hard wood happens with little to no thought.

I'm still not really in the mood, but being around my wife and us hugging etc gets me turned on. We are having good sex and I am having some quality issues here and there, but for the main events, all is well. I feel really good.

I feel what happened now is the fact my wife told me all this crazy fantasies. It put me into overdrive and stressed me a great deal all-in-one. My entire hardwire got switched. I was thinking about it non-stop at work and everything. Started looking at porn, increased masturbation, increased sex, everything. Did a number on my brain and did a number on my testosterone (stress/diet). Now my desire has increased. It's not that I have full on ED. It's just my needs have changed dramatically while also stressing me out.

Anyways, still on my path to see the doc tomorrow. Just keeping the thread updated as others are in search of ED answers. I feel better and what I think is ED is likely not.

[Krael Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Krael]

Alright, went to the Urologist the other day. Was one of the worst doctor visits I've ever had. This was someone my wife recommended as she works in the medical field and the wait time was almost over an hour after my scheduled appointment. When I finally saw the doctor, just felt like he knew a lot, but the information was so washy. Almost like there is no solid statistics to help me either or unless there is a physical justifiable reason to what's causing my issue like say heart disease or diabetes. Felt like a complete waste of time outside of the urine sample and blood test.

He prescribed me like 20 pills of generic Viagra and 3 pills of generic Cialis now that it's out. And holy god man, how do some of you deal with the costs of these pills? Jesus, for 20 pills of 20mg of generic Viagra it was like $350 dollars and just for 3 pills of generic Cialis, it was like freaking 75 bucks. My insurance actually knocked down the Cialis down to 75 from 80. This is super expensive and would hate to depend on this 75% of the time due to the costs.

Anyways, doctor said my blood pressure and everything was great, which surprised me. I smoked for many years and still vape. 3 years ago I was hypertension, but now looks like I'm on par. Heart sounded fine and everything so off the top of his head, sounded like I was fine. Just mental. But he will wait for blood tests. I asked for the free test test as well, so hopefully I'll get total and free results back from him. I'll post numbers when I get them.

[GreenDevil Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close GreenDevil]

One thing your body is telling you about the 3some is deep down you don’t want it.
do you really want to see your wife getting nailed by a other guy?
If you do it your marriage will never be the same.I personally know several couples
that did stuff like that and they are ALL divorced.just leave it in fantasy land and stop with porn.
Think about its 3 people all it takes is one of the 3 to want more than what was agreed upon,
Dont do it.

[Krael Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Krael]

Got my test results back.

Testosterone (Total), Serum = 360 ng/dL (Normal Range 264 - 916)
Sex Horm Binding Glob, Serum = 50.6 nmol/L (Normal Range 16.5-55.9)
Hemoglobin = 5.2 (Normal Range 4.8-5.6)

Waiting on the Free Test results next. But doctor said this is normal. I feel it's low being it's 100 ng/dL above the lowest range. The mean for most people seems to be 600. My sex horm seem to be high. I assume that's good?

Thoughts?

[Krael Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Krael]

Oh, I guess you can take the TT / SHBG * 100 = Free Testosterone.

360 / 50.6 * 100 = 711.46 FTL

That seems right?

[Krael Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Krael]

Oh, found it. Had to use the Albumin.

Free Testosterone = 5.16 ng/dL = 1.43 % (Normal 4.65 to 18.1 ng/dL)
Biovailable Testosterone = 140 ng/dL = 38.8 % (Normal 72 to 235 ng/DL)

[Party Senior Member Member of the Month August 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Party]

Ok. So you’ve eliminated low T as an issue. Great place to start. What’s next?

If youre watching porn, give it up.