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PDNDL's Penis Protocol (PPP)
PDNDL’s Penis Protocol (PPP)
What’s up! I’m PDNDL, and I’m here to help you improve the state of your penis. Whether you want to reduce hard flaccid and have a bigger, spongier flaccid, or have stronger erections, this should do a pretty solid job of getting you there. The sections before the exercises section are for a deeper understanding of what I’m actually talking about, and will give you much more confidence in following the instructions, and knowing what's going on rather than just blindly doing them. But if you just want shit now, then you can go straight to the exercises section. A lame choice, but a possible one. But reading the whole post will 100% lead to more chance of success. This post is pretty long, so stick on some chill music, relax, and take it at your own pace.
Also, don’t take my word as gospel. Look up stuff, try things for yourself, adapt and learn. No true good ever came from rigidly following instructions.
Intro
The penis is weird. Well, the penis and the body together are weird, in the way we decide how they relate to each other. It’s like you have a car, and the wheels of the car. One day the wheels stop turning, and so you start focusing on the wheel, assuming the wheel must be the cause of the wheel not turning. You start polishing the wheel, and pumping it full of air and stuff, and doing all this crazy shit to get the wheels to start turning again, because if the wheel isn’t turning, the wheel must be the cause of that, right? Except the actual reason is the car has no petrol in it, and no matter how much you inflate, polish, and even manually push the wheel yourself, that car’s never going to move until you’ve solved the actual cause of the wheels not turning.
The body’s the same. Say you have hard flaccid, or don’t get erections as often as you’d like. Chances are, you start hyper-focusing on the penis, and wondering what’s wrong with it. You start taking blood flow pills to try and make the penis blood flow better, or start stretching the penis or wearing sleeves to keep the penis stretched out and force it to not be hard flaccid, or any other number of crazy stuff. But none of this random shit will actually cause the penis to fundamentally improve. It’ll just spring back to however it was once you stop taking those pills, or wearing that sleeve, or whatever other penis-focused exercise you do in order to try to force it to do what you want. If you have trouble focusing in a class, do you assume the ability to focus is the problem, and start backing ‘focus’ pills on the regular, or do you realise you sleep like 5 hours a day, and that’s more likely to be the root cause?
The body & its glory
The body is cool. All of it’s sort of meshed together and functions as this whole single unit. This also sometimes makes it a puzzle. If you have pain in your neck, this can be caused by something as far off as your big toe not having enough range of motion. Which sounds crazy, but when you consider the chain of causality, it’s not so much. Your bad big toe causes you to put more weight on one foot, which causes muscle imbalance in your hips. This muscle imbalance in your hips causes your lower back muscles to compensate, causing your spine to sway in one direction, which causes your neck to be out of it’s natural alignment, which over time leads to pain on one side of your neck from pressures which shouldn’t be there. This chain of events I literally made up just now, but it’s an example of how it works.
It’s the same with the penis. Your penis isn’t hard flaccid just because, or not getting erections just because. The solution for that also isn’t targeting some treatment directly to the penis. That would be like feeling hungry, and treating it by taking a drug which stops the stomach sending signals to the brain saying it’s hungry. You’re not improving jack!
The whole body is like a beautiful engine, or machine. It’s sick! (British slang for dope) When strong, and flexible, and agile, and cardio-fuelled and shit, it can do some amazing things. And your penis, unsurprisingly, will be fine. But when it’s in shitty condition, this is felt in a range of ways. And generally, your penis won’t thank you for it.
My history of hard flaccid and stuff
I’ll keep it quick. I used to have hard flaccid. I don’t any more. When I had it, I had it like 100% of the time, probably for a good 3-5 years of my life. I didn’t really realise, and was having a ball to be honest. But now, I have hard flaccid maybe 10% of the time? And when I have it more often, it’s because I’ve not been eating enough, or haven’t been exercising, or have fallen deathly ill. Otherwise, most of the time my penis is in pretty great shape. And even then, when the hard flaccid does arise for any of the previous reasons, it’s nowhere near what it used to be.
2 common causes of hard flaccid and shitty erections
2 main causes. These are:
- Physical
- Mental
On the physical side
The penis is blood flow. Blood flows in, it gets bigger. Blood flows out, it gets smaller. I won’t go any deeper than that, because I want to keep this as simple and factual as possible (there’s enough pseudoscience floating around on the forum which I don’t wanna add to). Blood flows into the penis through the pelvic floor, which as a lot of you know, can get tense and weak and shit. When it gets tense, it stops blood flowing to the penis, and tada, hard flaccid! But why does it get tense and weak? Again, it’s like the penis and its chains of causality. It doesn’t ‘just happen’. The solution isn’t to do pelvic floor stretches or some nonsense which targets the pelvic floor as if it's the cause of its own dysfunction. This will in fact probably make things worse. The pelvic floor is usually tight for a reason. I won’t stand here and act certain on the cause for every single person, but the most most common cause which seems to always come up is anterior pelvic tilt.
You, like me for a lot of my childhood, sit down in a chair all day and do either work or jack shit. Your legs don’t like this. Specifically, your hip flexors don’t like this. Because your legs are always bent towards your body not really doing anything, the hip flexors get used to being in this shorter position, and decide they don’t need to turn up to work. They gradually become shorter, which is great news for sitting down, but not so great news for standing up. When you do, these shorter hip flexors pull down on your pelvis, rocking it forwards, and suddenly creating like 17 different problems. Lower back pain, shallow breathing, and, often, a tense pelvic floor.
Solve the anterior pelvic tilt, and you solve the hard flaccid. But improving your shitty posture isn’t a matter of treating exercise like some ointment or pill. Just stretching the body in this one, specific place as though it’s a leak in a bottle which you need to tape up and voila! the bottle is perfect. Nahh fam. The body is a whole unit. You’re trying to solve your hard flaccid, but what you should really be trying to do is bring your whole body into a sort of awesome balance. Where the muscles are strong, the posture is stable, the cardiovascular system is thriving. Basically, helping your body be actually healthy. Your penis isn’t in less than ideal shape, your body is. Pump that with some productive work, and your penis’ll fall into line.
Finally, do PE. PE has easily magnified the effect that physical exercises had on my penis and stuff. Do it together with the physical exercises, and cool things can happen.
On the mental side
Your stress is making things way more tricky. You think your hard flaccid or less than ideal erections are causing your mental distress. They’re not. In fact, if you put your mind back in time, you’ll probably notice that you had stress which was surprisingly similar in nature about other totally unrelated things. Even if it was smaller in degree, it was probably still there. That sort of hyper focus and catastrophising (my life is over!) is usually a sign of other shit going on mentally. You’ll overcome your hard flaccid, erection stuff, whatever, pretty straight-forwardly. But don’t look at the mental side, and you’re just gonna leave yourself waiting to have another meltdown when you lose your job, or your girlfriend leaves you, or you have money troubles, or whatever else. Also, with that stress mind, you’ll probably make it way harder for your penis to party it up. In fact, like way harder. I don’t know why, but stress and hard flaccid go hand in hand. Especially stress and erection troubles, though everyone knows this. Learn to chill, and half the penis ‘problems’ will probably vanish without any physical work.
In general, your body is meant to be a beautiful machine of survival and monger of death. We used to be gorillas, hunting and fighting and slamming the ground and shit. Humans weren’t so different when they were living in forests. People like to play up the brain in modern times, and say how it's somehow the most important thing about being human, but that's such bullshit. The brain is dope and all, but humans were fundamentally physical. They’d hunt, and build houses, and farm, and do all sorts of shit. I read a study my brother sent me where it mentioned how kids growing up in tribes all had pretty perfect teeth. But when you introduced these kids into modern society, suddenly their teeth got all fucked up and needing braces and stuff. They eventually realised it was because some part of society just wasn’t using teeth as they’re meant to be used, so the teeth are like ‘nah I’m good, I’ll just chill out init’. I have no factual proof or anything, but other than them dying sooner from duels or hunts or shit, I’d wager people in tribal communities back in history (or today, who still live that way) don’t have bad backs, or blurry eyes, or crooked teeth, or anterior goddamned pelvic tilt. The body isn’t designed to not work, it works pretty well. It starts not working when you stop using it. Start using it the way it’s meant to be used, and dope things can happen.
Exercises
Physical
There’s like 1 stretch you should do really. For anterior pelvic tilt, I’d recommend this.
I’ve done my share of hip flexor stretches, and this is easily the best I’ve found. Simple, effective, and helps make the body stronger and more functional. Yeah, that’s about it. Literally the only stretch I'd say you need. Time is you best friend though, forget quick-fix nonsense. Just do like a couple minutes a day each leg 4-5 times a week. Things will improve gradually, effectively, and consistently.
For strengthening the body, this is pretty crucially important. Chances are, if you do have anterior pelvic tilt, you have a bunch of weak muscles. Especially the core. ‘But what’s the core?’ The core is not your six-pack muscles. Focus on these, and you will again make your body even more out of whack. The core is the deeper muscles which never get used any more. To be honest, I’m still learning a lot about this, and can’t go into a great amount of factual detail about it. But I can recommend this.
This might give you an idea what I mean. Obviously you don't have to become some Russian he-man doing human flags and shit, but if every one of these exercises seem impossible to you, including the simpler ones, or you at least can't do them, you have your answer as to why your body can't keep your penis in the shape it should be. Even then, in addition to core, you can focus on strengthening your leg muscles like hamstrings and quads, on making sure your back muscles are strong. Really bringing the whole body into balance and fitness. Doing this stuff, calisthenics should be your main focus. Not because it's superior to weight-lifting or anything. But because using your body that way activates muscles way more effectively than standing in place and doing curls does. You target muscles you'll never actually know exist, and bring your whole body into a genuine, athletic balance. Weight-lifting, despite the buffness it can provide, can never emulate this effect calisthenics has on the body's overall stability and strength.
Cardio is also dope. Do lots of cardio. If your blood’s not pumping through your body much, it doesn’t have much reason to pay your penis a visit.
Diet is dope too. Eat enough, and eat right. You’ll feel better, which will improve things on the mental front, which is useful for your penis, and your whole body will be able to grow stronger and healthier too, which is also useful for your penis.
Just get on top of your fitness. You can’t sleep 2 hours a day and ask your body to write a symphony. Nor can you do jack shit all day and ask your penis to be in top condition.
And like I said before, do PE. Light stretches, not like you're trying to tear off an arm. But rather like you just got up and are stretching in the morning. That's how I stretch, and I'm making some pretty decent gains (0.3" length and 0.2" girth in the past 3 months). Also with jelqing, do it lightly too. Not like you're trying to pop a fucking balloon. But like you're moving the blood through the penis. You can do this an EQ ranging anything from 40% to even like 10%. Both seem positive in my experience. Consistency is most key. Time is your best friend. 2 days on 1 day off is plenty.
Mental
I don’t have much advice for this one. All I’d say is that your mental distress isn’t caused by your penis. You think it is, but it isn’t. I’ve been there, and still have a bunch of mental nonsense I need to deal with. Try looking back in your past, spotting trends in the positive and negative ways you were. See what’s consistent, and what’s changed. Chances are, the more you look, the more you’ll realise not that much has actually changed. Chances are you were always a pretty on-edge guy, and that the positive guy inside you is still fundamentally there.
I don’t have the answers to how to become a mentally functional human being, because I’m not myself. But if I were to offer anything, it would be 2 things:
- Meditate
- Do shit
Meditating will slow the stream of thoughts you have constantly going through your head enough to be able to, like, enjoy your life, rather than hyper focusing on this one thing which is ‘definitely the cause of your problems and once this is solved everything will be perfect’. A stressed mind is sorta like you’re pulling an elastic band at both ends, and you’re worried it’s gonna snap in your face but you keep pulling anyway. Meditating is like just relaxing your arms, realising you don’t actually have to be pulling the elastic band, and then putting it down and doing something else. Alternatively, Wim Hof breathing could be dope for this. It seems more potent than meditation, and can totally send your mind to a much more ‘hey, my life’s actually perfectly great’ place. Look up instructions for either of these on youtube or google.
Other than meditating, doing shit is awesome. Sitting in your room all day, posting on forums, googling about hard flaccid and trying stretches will never lead anywhere positive. You won’t overcome anything, and will run your mind into a hole, believing that this ‘condition’ is all that matters, and your whole life revolves around it. Like, it doesn’t. It really doesn’t. Some of the most memorable and enjoyable years of my life were when I had hard flaccid like all the time. I didn’t really mind, because I liked meeting my friends, and doing parkour, and drawing and shit. Focusing on your hard flaccid can usually follow a traumatic experience, like a break-up, or losing a job, or I dunno what. One of the best ways to overcome this break up, according to Ovid, is to just do shit. Work, take up hobbies, meet people. Just do shit. You’ll feel better, and your hard flaccid will likely ease all on it’s own, by which point you won’t really care, because you’re already enjoying your life. In fact, you’ll probably look back and wonder why you made such a big deal of it.
Conclusion
That’s it! That’s my protocol. This will adapt and change over time as I think of stuff to add or remove or whatever. Or it won’t, I really don’t know. Enjoy the journey!
Admin of the Month Dec 2014
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