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Hi all,
I hope you are all well during these strange times. I do apologise as I have quite a lot to write, so apologies in advance for the essay!
Ever since I could, I have been masturbating at least once a day, maybe from like 2006/7. I'm 26 now. I'd say 4/5 days a week I masturbate once a day, and the other 2/3 days I do it twice a day. Its usually to pictures girls I know post online or lesbian porn.
In 2012 I got my first girlfriend and looking back it is pretty obviously I had PIED. It wasn't serious, I could get an erection fine, maintain one during stimulation, but it would go soft changing position/without stimulation. I also couldn't cum in anything other than intercourse naturally. If I was to get a blowjob or something, the only way I could cum would be to think of lesbian porn in my head.
We split up end of 2012, and I didnt have sex again until 2015 when we got back together. The exact same issues persisted, and I used cialis which really helped, however it was clear my anxiety from the worry of not being able to keep it up outweighed the cialis so I just wouldnt be horny when trying to change position. I could basically only do missionary and a few times girl on top because I would just go soft otherwise, trying to put it in while doing doggy I would just go limp. Basically if I was out my comfort zone, I would worry about keeping it up then boom - I'm limp. However, when I was really horny, say during missionary or when alone, my dick would be really hard.
We split up end of 2015 and it is now 2020 and I only had sex a few times in 2017 and thats it, and id put it all down to my jacking off every day completely killing my drive. I had a circumcision the end of last year because I had some phomosis, so I couldnt jack off for a while. When I could, my erections were ridiculous, it was like I had never jacked off before. I hear of the stories some guys have to go through to recover from PIED so this gave me great confidence that I was a lost cause. After only 3 WEEKS of no jacking off, I had my first wet dream IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.
So you would think, what am I worrying about? Just don't jack off and use cialis if needed, then when i've mastered it and im comfortable, drop the cialis. However, i would literally last 2 seconds masturbating before cumming. Basically, my question is, how do I balance having a hard dick, with lasting longer than 2 seconds in bed? Should I just tone down with the masturbating a little and use the cialis and over time cut and cut the masturbation? Or should I quit right now but then only last 2 seconds?
Another point is that, in those times having sex in 2017, during penetration I honestly couldnt really feel anything. I had sex 3 times and couldnt keep it fully up and cum in any of those instances. As soon as my dick went in I could barely feel anything - I do also have a bit of performance anxiety on the side, I'm just under 5 inches so if the girl doesnt react much to my dick going in that adds to the worry.
Any input is much appreciated, sorry again for it being so long.
Cheers!
Edit - typo
I hope you are all well during these strange times. I do apologise as I have quite a lot to write, so apologies in advance for the essay!
Ever since I could, I have been masturbating at least once a day, maybe from like 2006/7. I'm 26 now. I'd say 4/5 days a week I masturbate once a day, and the other 2/3 days I do it twice a day. Its usually to pictures girls I know post online or lesbian porn.
In 2012 I got my first girlfriend and looking back it is pretty obviously I had PIED. It wasn't serious, I could get an erection fine, maintain one during stimulation, but it would go soft changing position/without stimulation. I also couldn't cum in anything other than intercourse naturally. If I was to get a blowjob or something, the only way I could cum would be to think of lesbian porn in my head.
We split up end of 2012, and I didnt have sex again until 2015 when we got back together. The exact same issues persisted, and I used cialis which really helped, however it was clear my anxiety from the worry of not being able to keep it up outweighed the cialis so I just wouldnt be horny when trying to change position. I could basically only do missionary and a few times girl on top because I would just go soft otherwise, trying to put it in while doing doggy I would just go limp. Basically if I was out my comfort zone, I would worry about keeping it up then boom - I'm limp. However, when I was really horny, say during missionary or when alone, my dick would be really hard.
We split up end of 2015 and it is now 2020 and I only had sex a few times in 2017 and thats it, and id put it all down to my jacking off every day completely killing my drive. I had a circumcision the end of last year because I had some phomosis, so I couldnt jack off for a while. When I could, my erections were ridiculous, it was like I had never jacked off before. I hear of the stories some guys have to go through to recover from PIED so this gave me great confidence that I was a lost cause. After only 3 WEEKS of no jacking off, I had my first wet dream IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.
So you would think, what am I worrying about? Just don't jack off and use cialis if needed, then when i've mastered it and im comfortable, drop the cialis. However, i would literally last 2 seconds masturbating before cumming. Basically, my question is, how do I balance having a hard dick, with lasting longer than 2 seconds in bed? Should I just tone down with the masturbating a little and use the cialis and over time cut and cut the masturbation? Or should I quit right now but then only last 2 seconds?
Another point is that, in those times having sex in 2017, during penetration I honestly couldnt really feel anything. I had sex 3 times and couldnt keep it fully up and cum in any of those instances. As soon as my dick went in I could barely feel anything - I do also have a bit of performance anxiety on the side, I'm just under 5 inches so if the girl doesnt react much to my dick going in that adds to the worry.
Any input is much appreciated, sorry again for it being so long.
Cheers!
Edit - typo
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