Masturbation position-dependent ED

[Bench Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Bench]

Hi, I just wanted to post here because I had a very specific question:

Background: I've been working on fixing my ED for a couple years now, specifically by cutting out all porn and death-grip masturbation. I switched to using a fleshlight for all my masturbation and only do it every 2-3 days. I've been seriously working out for years (competitive powerlifter and amateur runner), and stretch / meditate daily.

The issue I am having is that when I masturbate with my fleshlight, I can only keep a solid erection is very specific positions.
- Oddly, missionary is my worst position: I put the fleshlight between some pillows and pump but I almost always lose my boner within minutes. I've never been able to have a full session just using missionary because it my boner will absolutely not come back from this position. I have to get my erection back with my hands and then move on to a different way of masturbating.
- The next best one is a regular doggy, I can last longer here but usually will completely lose my boner maybe 10-15 minutes in regardless of how my day or session is going. I will usually have to stop pumping, try and get myself back up to an EQ good enough to penetrate again, and then restart pumping. And once I start going, I'm maybe only 0-1 minutes away from blowing my load. I've included a graph to show the odd EQ-pattern I am getting here: https://imgur.com/a/5SAAfA5
- My best position that I have almost zero problems maintaining an erection for is lying and my back and using my hands to move the fleshlight (kind of like a cowgirl). For some reason, the motion here is just so much that I can feel into my body and keep a consistent hard-on for 20-30 minutes before a great orgasm. However, this is the position I am least interested in being good at, because it is not very realistic of most sex.

My question is, has anyone had similar experiences to this? I am thinking that maybe the fact that I can keep a hard-on for the last position has more to do with the fact that I am not thrusting but just using my hands. If it was just dependent on body-position, I would think that missionary would be OK too, but I actually have a very hard time with missionary. Thanks!

[HJ1 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close HJ1]

I'm the opposite. Anywhere other than on my back I'm good but my boners rarely get above like 70-80% there. I think it's in my head though as I used to find it awkward to fap that way, which made me get softer and then worry about being soft ETC.

How do you normally masturbate? I've heard people suggest getting used to the positions you have trouble in.

[CLOSEDMightym8x Member Find all posts View Profile Close CLOSEDMightym8x]

There was a guy on Reddit who mentioned something which may have a connection to this;

As we become accustomed to masturbating in a particular position (seated) this is where we see our best EQ because the PF muscles have to work less due be being squeezed by the seated position. Years of masturbating this way essentially tells the PF muscles that "You don't need to work too hard guys, do the minimum amount of work".

So when when you eventually decide to masturbate standing up/lying down, your PF hasn't got the endurance to hold an erection. That and the psychological connection between associating masturbation with a seated position.

It's like working a desk job for years then suddenly wondering why your glutes aren't strong to stop your back aching. Now you need to stretch your quad muscles and strengthen the glutes.


Lastly: I'd stop using the flesh-light and dramatically cut down masturbation and perform it standing or a comfortable position that you struggle with. You don't want anything that you can associate with sex, as counter-productive as that sounds. You're not having sex, you're masturbating so the two should be separate i.e no sex positions, just treat it like a therapeutic session.

Basically bring masturbation back to the basics.

[Bench Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Bench]

I'm the opposite. Anywhere other than on my back I'm good but my boners rarely get above like 70-80% there. I think it's in my head though as I used to find it awkward to fap that way, which made me get softer and then worry about being soft ETC.

How do you normally masturbate? I've heard people suggest getting used to the positions you have trouble in.

I normally would masturbate sitting down, although when I was a kid (10-15ish) I would primarily masturbate lying down. Maybe this is where some of this stems from

[Bench Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Bench]

There was a guy on Reddit who mentioned something which may have a connection to this;

As we become accustomed to masturbating in a particular position (seated) this is where we see our best EQ because the PF muscles have to work less due be being squeezed by the seated position. Years of masturbating this way essentially tells the PF muscles that "You don't need to work too hard guys, do the minimum amount of work".

So when when you eventually decide to masturbate standing up/lying down, your PF hasn't got the endurance to hold an erection. That and the psychological connection between associating masturbation with a seated position.

It's like working a desk job for years then suddenly wondering why your glutes aren't strong to stop your back aching. Now you need to stretch your quad muscles and strengthen the glutes.


Lastly: I'd stop using the flesh-light and dramatically cut down masturbation and perform it standing or a comfortable position that you struggle with. You don't want anything that you can associate with sex, as counter-productive as that sounds. You're not having sex, you're masturbating so the two should be separate i.e. no sex positions, just treat it like a therapeutic session.

Basically bring masturbation back to the basics.

That theory sounds pretty reasonable. I'm less inclined to think it's a physiological issue because I can usually still get boners (sometimes), so it probably has a psychological basis.

So you think stopping with the fleshlight is a good idea? I'm definitely OK to cut down masturbation but my chief concern is my performance during sex. I've always thought about using masturbation / edging as a tool to help improve and prepare for sex, but perhaps that's the wrong idea. I think this mindset stems from several instances of ED with girls that still bother me. In a way, I want to get my dick used to the feeling of being (and staying) hard in a vagina, since it has had lots of problems with this before.

[CLOSEDMightym8x Member Find all posts View Profile Close CLOSEDMightym8x]

At this stage I'd say sexual performance is pointless to focus on because you're also trying to improve the EQ and good EQ doesn't mean better performance and it'll only feed into the psychological aspect if you last less than you did yesterday.

The reason I say to stop using the flesh-light is to distance masturbation from sex and go back to basics, read about the pelvic floor, stretch and when the time comes, then work on performance. You shouldn't need anything but your hand to get good EQ, if you continue using the flesh-light it becomes a crutch. Again, wiring your brain to some external pleasure device.

Use sex and training for sex. I don't have a gf so of course my performance is going to be horrible if I'm seeing someone once a month or so. I think the most important aspect is to fix the EQ.

Keep it simple, you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself by saying you're good in position X but suck in position Y, the brain loves feeding on this and when it comes to sex it'll be your downfall because you'll only focus on the positions your strong in, instead think of it as a reset, forget positions and just focus on EQ in a position that isn't sitting at a desk or recreating a sexual position.

Another thing I want to add is EQ when you're alone doesn't always correlate to being with a real partner. My erection would go down within seconds when I was alone but with a partner it stayed up as long as it needed. Again, because we're putting ourselves in a 'test' situation.

[PTK Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close PTK]

I experienced the same problem and have tested a few things. I believe the culprit is actually anterior pelvic tilt (especially since you are a powerlifters, low bar style squats, deads etc. are notorious for causing this) check to see if you have anterior pelvic tilt, there are tons of info on youtube for this subject.

Try this. Next time you are standing up erect, suck your bellybutton in (like a stomach vacuum but slightly lower) and roll your pelvis forward (like a standing pelvic curl), you may see your testicles rise as a result an notice your erection last longer.

Some exercises that I have been experimenting with are planks (but with an emphasis with a stomach vacuum) and variations of pelvic curls, hip flexor stretches etc.

It's quite mind boggling how every article out there heavily discusses "kegels" with no detailed mention of how to roll and position your pelvis (there are pictures of people doing glute bridges with no context - this is completely incorrect). I have a theory that weak abs/glutes, tight hip flexors and lower back muscles may be a culprit for many guys. Especially lifters that may have imbalances.

Please report back! I hope you resolve this. I can't seem to find any detailed info on this out there, but through self experimentation I have found this to maybe be beneficial.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

I experienced the same problem and have tested a few things. I believe the culprit is actually anterior pelvic tilt (especially since you are a powerlifters, low bar style squats, deads etc. are notorious for causing this) check to see if you have anterior pelvic tilt, there are tons of info on youtube for this subject.

Try this. Next time you are standing up erect, suck your bellybutton in (like a stomach vacuum but slightly lower) and roll your pelvis forward (like a standing pelvic curl), you may see your testicles rise as a result an notice your erection last longer.

Some exercises that I have been experimenting with are planks (but with an emphasis with a stomach vacuum) and variations of pelvic curls, hip flexor stretches etc.

It's quite mind boggling how every article out there heavily discusses "kegels" with no detailed mention of how to roll and position your pelvis (there are pictures of people doing glute bridges with no context - this is completely incorrect). I have a theory that weak abs/glutes, tight hip flexors and lower back muscles may be a culprit for many guys. Especially lifters that may have imbalances.

Please report back! I hope you resolve this. I can't seem to find any detailed info on this out there, but through self experimentation I have found this to maybe be beneficial.

Ok so different sex positions put stress on different muscles . So lying down your muscles are relaxed op in other positions they tense .
So re the above post , do you have apt?

[PTK Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close PTK]

I do have APT and have experienced almost identical issues as stated above.

The issue is since APT can be caused by a few different things (tight low back, weak relative abs or glutes, hip flexor flexibility etc.) it is difficult to figure out what needs to be corrected in the terms of ED.

The largest 'epiphany' I had was literally when I would roll my pelvis by sucking in my belly button to my stomach, I'd notice my testicles rise as well and almost having a 'clamp down' effect. I BELIEVE this dramatically improved symptoms, but is difficult to tell if it was literally the transverse abdominis pulling in, or if it was just adjusting the position of the pelvis that may help.

Unfortunately I have found very very little research on APT effects on ED, virtually everything out there is about classic kegels (or stopping the flow of urine).

[PTK Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close PTK]

Ok so different sex positions put stress on different muscles . So lying down your muscles are relaxed op in other positions they tense .
So re the above post , do you have apt?

I mentioned before I do have APT, but this is interesting. I had done a bit more digging and stumbled upon one of the forum threads here about the IC muscle... I never have heard of it before, but after doing some research and watching a posted youtube video, I started to pay more attention to this.

I realized that in many of the same movements in correcting my anterior pelvic tilt with (stomach vacuum esq exercises), pelvic rolls etc. I was simultaneously flexing my IC muscle and I had never even heard of this...

I tried a few more focused kegels implementing this newly found IC muscles and my god does it make a difference. I am absolutely SHOCKED that this isn't being discussed in more detail, or virtually any mainstream kegel advice out there.

There really may be something to the IC muscle as a game changer for many issues.