one night stands not getting up

[purpledonkey Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close purpledonkey]

Hey people,

Did a bit of PE back in the day and had good results with the girlfriend but haven't much of late and now newly single so most of my hookups involve late nights and alcohol. Last three hookups I couldn't keep hard after oral and was looking for some advice to fix the issue. I have had drunken sex this year so don't know what's going on maybe just to tired and don't have the energy to sustain a hard. Very fit atm and have been doing Hindu squats a fair bit plus some yoga.

Cheers fellas

[BundleUp Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close BundleUp]

When you're in those situations, what are you thinking about? How good that pussy is gonna feel? How good her body feels against yours?

Or are you thinking more about your side of the court, so to speak? I know that's what always gets me. Thinking about whether I'm gonna be good enough to please her lips my mood every time.

[8IsBetterThan7 Member Find all posts View Profile Close 8IsBetterThan7]

Perhaps its the lack of emotional connection. I am like that, i am sure I wouldnt be able to get hard if there wasnt romance involved (didnt have sex yet though).


Whats your age?

[BigO AdministratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close BigO]

Sounds like your thinking about it too much.

[purpledonkey Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close purpledonkey]

Hey I'm 24. Pretty confident with girls and know what I'm doing but I have had anxiety in the past so that could be it but had the same issue with my ex the other week and I'm pretty comfortable around her of course so maybe just going through a low horny patch might try horny goat weed

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

You sound anxious .

[Jay1983 Senior MemberMember of the Month Apr 2014, Sept 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Jay1983]

Perhaps its the lack of emotional connection. I am like that, i am sure I wouldnt be able to get hard if there wasnt romance involved (didnt have sex yet though).


Whats your age?

Demisexual FTW.

[purpledonkey Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close purpledonkey]

Yeah most likely performance anxiety, thanks crew will give that ebook a read, love your work Pegasus btw keep it up.

[8IsBetterThan7 Member Find all posts View Profile Close 8IsBetterThan7]

@Jay1983

Thats why i mentioned it, maybe he is the same.

For me its not really not being attracted at all, but more like subconsciously being repulsed by the idea of being intimate with someone i dont feel connection/comfortable with.
Its generally very hard for me to let people into my life (acquaintances/friends etc) I am very introverted, so no wonder its same when it comes to erotic encounters.

My subconscious mind would just get in the way and i would stay flaccid because subconscious mind knows that keeping it soft is the best way of avoiding the encounter it doesnt want to partake in even if the conscious minds forces it into it.

Been in 3 potential sexual encounters in my life and all 3 times stayed completely soft and i believe it is due to this, as i was unexperienced prior to the encounter i had terrible anxiety, to the point of shaking a little like terrible pre-speech panic and of course i stayee soft and impotent as it was seen by my subconscious as an easy way out.

So it is sort of an escape route.


So i also vouch its anxiety. You cant get an erection when your sympathetic nervous system is in overdrive. I am generally a neurotic person so it goes hand in hand in my case.

[8IsBetterThan7 Member Find all posts View Profile Close 8IsBetterThan7]

Double post

[Jay1983 Senior MemberMember of the Month Apr 2014, Sept 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Jay1983]

@Jay1983

Thats why i mentioned it, maybe he is the same.

For me its not really not being attracted at all, but more like subconsciously being repulsed by the idea of being intimate with someone i dont feel connection/comfortable with.
Its generally very hard for me to let people into my life (acquaintances/friends etc) I am very introverted, so no wonder its same when it comes to erotic encounters.

My subconscious mind would just get in the way and i would stay flaccid because subconscious mind knows that keeping it soft is the best way of avoiding the encounter it doesnt want to partake in even if the conscious minds forces it into it.

Been in 3 potential sexual encounters in my life and all 3 times stayed completely soft and i believe it is due to this, as i was unexperienced prior to the encounter i had terrible anxiety, to the point of shaking a little like terrible pre-speech panic and of course i stayee soft and impotent as it was seen by my subconscious as an easy way out.

So it is sort of an escape route.


So i also vouch its anxiety. You cant get an erection when your sympathetic nervous system is in overdrive. I am generally a neurotic person so it goes hand in hand in my case.

Same way bro. I used to force erections with kegels but that shit is old and fake, plus unhealthy.

[8IsBetterThan7 Member Find all posts View Profile Close 8IsBetterThan7]

Same way bro. I used to force erections with kegels but that shit is old and fake, plus unhealthy.

lol in my case thats impossible the override is so strong my desire is completely absent, like i am a castrate, even more than that.

In the op's case i am sure he will be fine, he just needs to relax, easier said than done of course lol, a hypocrite...

In hindsight i never understood why i was so anxious, its not like i am in danger it seems laughable to me, its more like my mind is feeling it is a completely alien situation and hence wants to avoid it alltogether by completely disabling libido and erection... really feels like that more than simply being anxious/afraid of what is to come

In my mind when i would think about it i would feel comfortable and could get erection by visualizing, but when it came to the real thing as if my mind was not truly comprehending what was happening and therefore didnt send the proper instructions to the body, sort of like malfunction, it truly feels like that to me rather than being afraid.

I honestly think the problem is our past, which in my case is a past of purely fantasizing and watching pictures of girls online (no porn though, wpuld just look at various of pics i would see on my social media feed) and ever since i walked into my teens my mind correlates sexual thoughts with mental imagery or pictures online, and therefore cant relate to the real thing and doesnt/cant respond.

Like i said, a real sexual encounter just feels completely alien to me, I dont know whether this can be fixed or not.




I bolded some thoughts so that i can at least feel like i am contributing sth to this thread, instead of purely rambling.

[Jay1983 Senior MemberMember of the Month Apr 2014, Sept 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Jay1983]

Bro you need a reboot to rewire. I will admit, pornography has corrupted my mind, but then again so have some of the women in my past/life. Seems the older I get, the worse it gets. I am now a firm believer of why waiting till marriage is important. Kind of understood it all along, but never understood it as much as I do now within such fashion. Corruption is fucked.