Performance Anxiety?

[JoeC82 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close JoeC82]

Hi all, first i want to say thank you for having a forum such as this. It's a relief to know that other men are going through the same problems...i felt as if i was alone on this and never admitted it to anyone. Just to give you some background...

I'm 28 , good shape and don't drink/smoke/drugs (never really did in the past either). I had a girlfriend in college and never had any sort of sexual problems throughout my relationship with her. I could almost instantly get it up when i knew it was about time to get the engine running.

We broke up after 5 years and it was pretty bad. At the time was overweight and not taking care of myself so my self-esteem was way down. The breakup was devastating to me. It's been 5-6 years since our breakup and i have yet to be with another woman. I've been in several situations where i had ED and couldn't get up and others i just avoided due to the embarrassment. Really crappy cycle to be in since i almost automatically start thinking of ED once i know the situation might lead to sex/four play.

Mind you, i have seen the ex on an off during the course of the 5-6 years and could easily perform with no problems (i know i know, bad idea but i knew i could get laid without worrying about performance). It's been a year and i totally stopped since i figured it wasn't helping with my problem...

I believe my problem is primarily psychological (performance anxiety?) but i'd like to hear stories from others that have had similar situations. I do seem to have a sense of minor anxiety coming into play when i know things might happen. I plan on seeing a urologist soon since i'm tired of not being able to move forward with my life. Anything you can share would be great.

Thank you all

Joe

[Wynn Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Wynn]

I swing, and have the same problem the first time my girl and i hook up with a new couple. The second time I can go rounds. So i do believe its a mental thing, you know worrying the other guys going to be this and that or the new girls going to think of my penis this or that way. So part of my routine is PC contraction forcing blood into my penis, its like a kegel, but i try to visualize the blood flowing into my cock. I started doing it with ULI's and clamping to find just the right area in my body that forces the blood into my penis. my goal is to be able to force an erection while watching action movies. I know... good luck on that one.

[JoeC82 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close JoeC82]

Thanks Wynn

I just get overly nervous and start thinking on whether i'm going to get it up or not and that plays the part of my downfall. I guess i should keep on trying until i get over it but i'm going to speak to a doctor to see if we can setup an appointment with a urologist to see if i can get on some anti-anxiety meds to help performance.

Does anyone know of any current meds for anti-anxiety that helps with ED? I'm oblivious so any info would help.

[normalguy Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close normalguy]

Welcome to teh Gym JoeC82,
You said that you're able to have erections without any problems when you're with your ex so this is the proof that your "ED" is 100% psychological and due to anxiety as you just diagnosed it by yourself. What do you really think that a urologist, i.e. a specialist of physical ED, will do for you? Nothing except confirming that your problem is psychological.
You shouldn't consider taking any drugs for anxiety: these drugs, just as anti-depressors can by themselves generate ED so this is not the solution to your problem. What I'd advise you is to take these: https://www.pegym.com/forums/erectil...erections.html and also this: Erection Tea: How to Make It and What It Does | Articles.
Practicing PE also helps with ED as you should be able to have erections more easily though it so you should consider starting a routine. This is a good article on the matter: Erectile Dysfunction Pills - Exercises are a Better Alternative | Articles. This is the link for beginners who want to start a beginner routine: https://www.pegym.com/forums/beginne...y-threads.html. Start exercising and I'm sure that your problem will be fixed quickly!

@ Wynn, You started in october and are already doing ULI's and clamping??? These are really advanced exercises and you risk severe injuries if you do them while you're penis is not conditioned! Have a look in the penile injuries subforums and you'll understand what I mean. You should drop them at once and go back to a proper beginner routine...

[redbear52 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close redbear52]

I'll second what normalguy said. If you achieve strong erections with your "familiar" partner, your ED is psychological. It is true that anti-depressants and anti-anxiety agents can often (not always) interfere with erectile function. So can alcohol, if guys use that as an anti-anxiety agent.

If you were going to use any agent, I think a phosphodiesterase inhibitor like Viagra, Levitra, or Cialis would be more appropriate. You wouldn't want to have to rely on these agents on a regular basis, but they might help you get past an initial encounter or two. Supplements like L-arginine, maca, horny goat weed, ginseng, and saw palmetto work reasonably well for some. Some have also used yohimbe, but this can have some unpleasant side-effects.

I think the real solution is to try to feel better about yourself. If you still have some weight to lose, try to get on an exercise program to shed it. Even if you don't have a few extra pounds the cardiovascular benefits will help erectile function, and resistance training has been shown to boost testosterone levels. Even a modest amount of toning up will start to get yourself feeling more comfortable in your own skin. Classes in spinning, yoga, and pilates can also be good places to meet women.

[JoeC82 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close JoeC82]

Thank you so much for the responses. They really mean a lot to me since this plague has followed me for years and prevented me from becoming intimate. Also i forgot to mention that i did masturbate regularly and did a hefty amount of porn watching (sometimes twice a day) and recently stopped since i figured this was only adding to my problems.

As for working out, I actually do workout almost daily-did one round (3 months) of P90x and into month 1 of round 2. I actually lost about 31+ lbs of fat and gained muscle mass in it's place so physically, i'm in the best shape of my life and almost have a six pack finally! I just have to work on my "mental" game...

As for a phosphodiesterase inhibitor like Viagra, Levitra, or Cialis, can any doctor prescribe them or would i need to go to a urologist? Also can someone who has tried these provide me with information on the difference on these meds (pro's/con's). I agree i would want to only use them for the first initial encounter. Any info on these would be very much appreciated.

THANK YOU AGAIN!

Joe

[Wynn Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Wynn]

Welcome to teh Gym JoeC82,
You said that you're able to have erections without any problems when you're with your ex so this is the proof that your "ED" is 100% psychological and due to anxiety as you just diagnosed it by yourself. What do you really think that a urologist, i.e. a specialist of physical ED, will do for you? Nothing except confirming that your problem is psychological.
You shouldn't consider taking any drugs for anxiety: these drugs, just as anti-depressors can by themselves generate ED so this is not the solution to your problem. What I'd advise you is to take these: https://www.pegym.com/forums/erectil...erections.html and also this: Erection Tea: How to Make It and What It Does | Articles.
Practicing PE also helps with ED as you should be able to have erections more easily though it so you should consider starting a routine. This is a good article on the matter: Erectile Dysfunction Pills - Exercises are a Better Alternative | Articles. This is the link for beginners who want to start a beginner routine: https://www.pegym.com/forums/beginne...y-threads.html. Start exercising and I'm sure that your problem will be fixed quickly!

@ Wynn, You started in october and are already doing ULI's and clamping??? These are really advanced exercises and you risk severe injuries if you do them while you're penis is not conditioned! Have a look in the penile injuries subforums and you'll understand what I mean. You should drop them at once and go back to a proper beginner routine...

Thanks normal for the advice. Althought I've just started with pegym and hanging, I've been peing for years. I never read any thing more about this subject, jelqing then just a mention on it in wiki. After that I've been a regular stretcher and uli for the last 2 years and in the last 6 months made my own ads. I started at 5.25 in 2000 and about 6 when I measured before I started hanging two months ago. So I knew this site would work when I first found it. After finding this site I've been able to focus on the right things but I defiantly fell I have conditioned my penis. My erections have for the most part been consistent, but yes after making my captians hanger and then using the clamp for clamping I was having some negative pi's and sense then I took a step back and use them for the erection training as I mentioned. At the end of this month will be my first official measurement sense I started real routine and started hanging, with that I will also upload my log and opening story. I hope it will help others as this site has helped me.