I feel a disconnect...

[Hockey_NY Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hockey_NY]

I guess I have some inquiries into whether I have some sort of ED or something along those lines...The fellow in the other thread "Nocturnal erections" reminds me of myself quite a bit. I do have a hernia right now, so that is not helping things, but this has been going on for a while. My only saving grace, although not a good thing, is that I have never been w/ a woman. I guess I have always hoped that when that time comes, the natural juices and such will start flowing and I will not have any issue. But I am not so sure I can believe that anymore.

I find that I hardly if ever get erections when I am up, even when looking at arousing objects or video, etc. I get the tingling down there and grow into a chubby, but usually it is not full blown. Maybe once in a while it will get to be more, but I really have to relax to make that happen. Some good news is that I have woken once in a while to morning wood- very strong at that, so I conclude that makes my problem mainly mental. But still, if I go to take care of the morning wood manually, it actually goes down a notch or two in EQ. When I regularly masturbate, I usually have to work myself up and it just gets me mad that the boner could dissipate so quickly if I stop working on it. As I said in my title, it is like my mind is aroused and everything, but there is a disconnect somewhere.

OK, I watch too much porn, which I have learned is counter productive and kind of puts you into an altered "fake" state.

Also, I have job issues now, and from what I said women issues as well. Being a virgin at my age is dragging on me. But the no real job hurts just as much. So overall, my mental state is a mess and I am not too happy. I know this can hamper things down there, but still, I feel it is just at a bad extreme right now.

At 25, I feel I am way too young to have any kind of erection issues. I guess my first step may be to cut back on porn and get into a good vitamin routine. Any thoughts past that?

Thanks for all of the help!

[Hockey_NY Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hockey_NY]

After reading htp2011's thread, I understand why no one has chimed in yet- Seems we have very similar problems and the question was redundant, so I apologize.

Although I still wanted to get it out there and explain my situation a little better.

I guess I will do the "No Porn" for a few days and see how I feel. Saw a few hot MILFS shoveling already, so this is going to be hard.


Is masturbation in general bad? I thought it was good and necessary for your prostate and general well-being? I guess moderation is the key. And if I may be bold, I venture to say masturbation using your imagination is healthier than using porn. I probably average every other day, but overall, 7 times a week. So that is probably way too much.

[tool Member Find all posts View Profile Close tool]

Can I ask something? What have you been doing with all your jobless time? TIf you spend this time doing things you like (ideally things not involving your penis and/or porn), especially a hobby that gets you off your butt and out in the open, it will help you in a lot of other ways (most involving your head), and that will, indirectly, play its part in helping your EQ by helping your well being and confidence.

[Hockey_NY Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hockey_NY]

Sorry, tool. I should have been more specific. I do work- Physical labor. Play a lot of hockey. I'm in excellent shape, although my eating habits could be better.

When I say job issues, I mean: I went to a top school for 4 yrs and could not find a job in my field (or much of anything office-wise for that matter). And I am doing something I hate just to pay the bills. So overall I feel like a disappointment in that regard. And then that effects how I feel around girls and such (pretty much useless, not confident, etc). You won't get a GF feeling like that. So a good job is my main goal. Getting close, I feel, but who knows.

I agree- Once I feel better about myself, I think a lot of things will fall into place. Not like magic, but I would feel a lot better about myself.

Thanks for the response.

[Waylander Retired ModeratorPEGym EditorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Waylander]

History is full of guys just like you who eventually went on to become extremely successful Hockey The important thing is to stay focused and try and have some fun along the way IMO.

[tool Member Find all posts View Profile Close tool]

Okay. This is going to sound a little uncanny. Possibly even rude. But do you actually enjoy Hockey? I don't mean whether you enjoy having played hockey. Do you enjoy it in the moment?

Most of the world is made up of people who do a job only because it pays the bills. A curious few find a way to make use of the time outside of that job to do the things they really want to. That little voice in your head saying, "This is not my dream job, this is not my dream job," never goes away. But if you're balancing it with things you were--and I do believe this--put on this earth to do (some were born to paint, some were born to fuck, some were born to build things), the job won't feel like such a bad thing. What's that old line? Yeah: we do the things we have to do so we can do the things we want to do.

Hockey might be something you do regularly, but is it filling that big hole of discontent in your life? Or is it simply filling your time? That's what I'm getting at.

[Fluxo Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Fluxo]

my best advice is to STOP watching porn, and find some erotic stories and READ them, it may take a week or 2 ,but u will eventually get a super woody by reading the stories and NOT ejaculating for a week or 2.. Heres my fav stories site Free Sex Stories & Erotic Stories @ XNXX.COM

[Hockey_NY Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hockey_NY]

Okay. This is going to sound a little uncanny. Possibly even rude. But do you actually enjoy Hockey? I don't mean whether you enjoy having played hockey. Do you enjoy it in the moment?

Most of the world is made up of people who do a job only because it pays the bills. A curious few find a way to make use of the time outside of that job to do the things they really want to. That little voice in your head saying, "This is not my dream job, this is not my dream job," never goes away. But if you're balancing it with things you were--and I do believe this--put on this earth to do (some were born to paint, some were born to fuck, some were born to build things), the job won't feel like such a bad thing. What's that old line? Yeah: we do the things we have to do so we can do the things we want to do.

Hockey might be something you do regularly, but is it filling that big hole of discontent in your life? Or is it simply filling your time? That's what I'm getting at.

Hockey is my love, Tool. I love to play and watch it. It fills time, and it is happy time, haha. Playing the game is fun to me and hanging out w/ friends during that time makes it even better. I am very introverted though and can enjoy personal things very much as well. Once I get working, I want to buy a digital piano and a kayak and start on those- both activities I would enjoy very much.

I understand what you are getting at though. Also understand about how the majority of the people don't do the job they love. This is true. Yet, I studied for something and worked hard and I have fallen far below where I expected and it hurts. It is not like I set out to be a journalist and instead am settling for editorial assistant. I am cutting lawns, etc to make money now, and the reason I went to school was to get away from that.

I used to love life, back when I was taking courses in college and working up to something. Even in High-School, despite getting no play from girls. I had a few very close friends who were all very opposite of me in some ways. But we got along great and they helped me enjoy life, even though I never went partying w/ them. We still had hobbies that we did together.

I still beat to my own drum during that time and was quite content and overall loved the world around me, nature, etc. But after graduating two yrs ago it has been downhill.

[Hockey_NY Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hockey_NY]

I've been 'good' since Friday. So far I do not feel too much different, but it has only been 3 days. No morning wood yet. Feel pretty horny, but getting by fine. No day-time erections to speak of yet.

What I miss most is the 30-60 mins I spent doing it was definitely a stress reliever and did feel good, plus it was very much a routine.

[Hockey_NY Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hockey_NY]

I have to bring this up, mainly because I'm concerned and I want to elaborate on something I said when I wrote this thread..

I haven't had RANDOM daytime wood/erection for so long, I just don't understand. Maybe months to yrs- In fact, I have never really gotten them, or very very rarely. Maybe my mind kind of prohibits me, but still.

I guess I used to masturbate quite a bit so I never really noticed. But since I started PE, I have cut back dramatically (maybe to 3 times a week. And still- very rarely morning wood (maybe once a week) and never ever any daytime. I mean, sometimes I can get a chubby if I really get aroused but other than that nothing going.

I am kind of depressed now, if that makes a difference. Should I get blood tests and what for, specifically? Testosterone levels?

I thought this would get better cutting back on the porn, but if anything, it has gotten worse.

[TTBB Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close TTBB]

Do you feel lust? like when you are out even in simple situations and you see a girl who you find attractive does it stir a lust feeling in you .. or is it more of a thought based she's hot?

[Hockey_NY Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hockey_NY]

I guess I get a horny feeling like "I wish I could have her" but then I kind of feel hopeless because it seems so out of reach since I've never had it before. I see these hot girls and want them, but I see it as impossible or close to. Needless to say that doesn't help and maybe my mind is messing w/ my reaction down there.


Don't get me wrong- if I'm shopping and I see a hot girl, I will get the tingly feeling down there, but not much more. Not that I need be walking around the grocery store with a crazy hard-on, but I just expect better at my age and health level/habits. Overall, it just seems like that I can't get up w.o. manual stimulation. And throughout the day, even back a few yrs in college, it just wasn't what I considered descent, despite my thoughts.

[TTBB Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close TTBB]

i am just wondering if you have trained yourself to downplay feelings of horny or desire because you don't feel worthy of it... so though you get the tingle, subconsciously you think whats the point(which you kind of confirmed above)

have you read the thread "why can i not get a boner with a girl" thread.

it sounds like your head is tripping you up
and i wouldn't be surprised if there was a slight depression at play too.
If you compare yourself to those around you ..you will almost always fall short because that is how the human mind works.. by setting standards like " i expect better of myself" you are shooting yourself in the foot ..because that is jsut another way of saying" i feel like a failure" and the body and mind reacts the same way to the statements eventhough they are laced differently

Do you think you could be bored with your approach to manual stimulation ...i know that sounds silly but if you feel like is this it ..then it can be like a sexless marriage with your hand..(you go through the motion but you are not connected to it and your head isn't in the game)

[Hockey_NY Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hockey_NY]

i am just wondering if you have trained yourself to downplay feelings of horny or desire because you don't feel worthy of it... so though you get the tingle, subconsciously you think whats the point(which you kind of confirmed above)

have you read the thread "why can i not get a boner with a girl" thread.

it sounds like your head is tripping you up
and i wouldn't be surprised if there was a slight depression at play too.
If you compare yourself to those around you ..you will almost always fall short because that is how the human mind works.. by setting standards like " i expect better of myself" you are shooting yourself in the foot ..because that is jsut another way of saying" i feel like a failure" and the body and mind reacts the same way to the statements eventhough they are laced differently

Do you think you could be bored with your approach to manual stimulation ...i know that sounds silly but if you feel like is this it ..then it can be like a sexless marriage with your hand..(you go through the motion but you are not connected to it and your head isn't in the game)

Your first sentence may definitely be the case. I mean, not to sound crude, but if I see a lady I really find hot I will take pictures (haha) in my mental memory and think about her later on, etc. I guess that is not too abnormal, actually, But I will definitely create a "skit" in my mind about her, instead of using porn for instance. Because of that, I wouldn't go as far as to say that I am bored w/ manual stimulation. Like I said, it is not always the same old- I can think up something in my mind and go w/ that and not even watch porn and I do that quite a bit.

I am going to check that thread out. Definitely one of the biggest fears of mine, if I was in a relationship or had a random opportunity.

I guess I'm not realizing how much your mental state can have on how you feel and do down there.