Long time problem

[flyboy351 Member Find all posts View Profile Close flyboy351]

Hey all,

Long post ahead...

If you've read my progress thread then you are most likely aware of my erection problem. If not, I will explain. For those that have read my thread, this goes into more detail. First, let me start off by saying that I'm not here to complain or vent. I've done enough of that in my past and here isn't the time or place. I'm simply looking for some help since I don't know where else to go. I tried talking to my urologist about my problems but he pretty much kicked me out of his office saying I didn't have a problem. Nice eh?

Ever since I can remember I have had a hard time achieving a strong erection. I can count on two hands the number of times I have. Sometimes I force myself and get angry when it just doesn't get hard. Of course, getting mad simply doesn't help and I get completely soft. I do not get morning wood. I never have. Sometimes I will wake up in the middle of the night with a semi but that's all. I can also count on two hands the number of times I've had a really good orgasm where I could say... "OH MY GOD." I also do not produce pre-cum; not even a little. With all three of these problems, it doesn't matter how long I've been stimulating myself or how long it has been since I last did.

Some things I've done to help the situation, or things that should've helped the situation (none of these ever helped):

• Lost 80 lbs
• Changed eating habits. I only eat whole grains, fruits/veggies, lean meats and good fats. Sure, that might seem boring. However, I'm better off for it. Maybe I'm depriving myself of nutrients, but I take a multivitamin every day. I also drink two cups of tea. I have green tea in the morning and I introduced the erection tea before bed.
• Tried using more visually stimulating porn. While it might be great in the beginning, it gets old and things to back to normal
• Different types of lube
• Wore condoms
• Purchased a fleshlight

Things I do to attempt at getting stronger erections (I don't like doing these things because it either hurts or I get tired of it)

• Occasionally I will grip the base of my penis while masturbating. Usually this works but once I let go, I go back to my normal semi erection, or worse - totally soft
• I flex my PC muscle while masturbating. This seems to be the only way I can go even just a little bit past a semi erection
• Held off from having an orgasm for about 3 weeks at one point. That didn't make a difference other than an increase in sperm thickness

I really don't like explaining this, since I'm embaressed about it all the time, but feel it's necessary. I have a medical disorder known as Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS). Simply put, my brain doesn't recognize certain positions I am in. For example, let's say I stand up. Everything's great but suddenly my brain recognizes this and rushes blood to where it needs to go. This causes an occasional blood pressure imbalance. Having POTS forces me to use 10x the amount of energy a normal person would use. I frequently get tired, dizzy and feel sick. Fore more info see Postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. Wikipedia generally isn't a great source, but for this, it gets points across. To combat some of my symptoms, I was recently put on beta blockers. I take 2.5MG of Mododrine twice a day (morning and lunch) and 2.5MG of Bisoprol at night before bed. The Midodrine keeps my blood pressure up during the day since it has a tendancy to fall as the day goes on. Bisoprol is used to keep my blood pressure at a normal level since the Midodrine would raise it too high. I was also told to increase my salt intake and water intake which I have been doing for years. I have a sneaking suspicion this is part of the problem but no one knows since this disorder is fairly new and the medicine world is still learning more about it. Unfortunatey, there's nothing I can do in this case except live with what I have. I suppose things could be worse... have to look at the other side.

Now, I can only base my erection issues off strictly masturbation. In the past I've had confidence problems and just didn't care about getting laid or having a girlfriend. With a slightly different mindset, I'm trying to put myself out there. I don't want to toot my own horn but I am a good looking guy that would be an exellent catch for the ladies. However, my issues make me not care and I don't like having that attitude. I spoke of going to a urologist about my problem. I was circumcised at the age of 20. I was also cut at birth, but apparently had skin growth problems as I grew older. This caused pain in my penis when it was cold out or when I went swimming. Since I live in Wisconsin, avoiding cold weather simply isn't an option. Therefore, I elected to solve the pain problems by just going under the knife. That was the WORST thing I have physically been through. Many months later, I was healed. I don't think getting cut caused a problem and neither does my urologist. His only question to me was: "Are you sexually active with a girl?" Since I'm still a virgin, I said "No." His response: "Well, I can't help you... come back when you're having sex." I don't know what that will solve. Guys get hard by themselves... Shouldn't I?? I would think so.

I found this forum by searching for erection issues on Google. Of course, I'd love to have a bigger penis too. I'm pretty much following the beginners guide, however it has been modified a few days ago to help solve my EQ issues:

Normal Routine (2 days on, 1 off)

• 10-15 minute warmup (hot shower with water consitently running on my penis, or very warm compress - rice sock)
• Stretches w/ 25 kegels (left, right, up and straight out). I do heli shakes in between each position to keep the blood moving
• 20 JAI stretches
• 8 minutes worth of 5 second jelqs
• Edge (I force myself to do this and get extremely frustrated)
• Cool down with cold washcloth

Modified routing for the time being (2 days on, 1 off)

• 8 minute warmup (hot shower - warmer water than usual, or hot rice sock)
• Stretches w/ 25 kegels (left, right, up and straight out). I do heli shakes in between each position to keep the blood moving
• 20 JAI stretches
• 60 5 second jelqs
• Cool down with cold washcloth

If you took the time to read this, let me say thanks. I know there is a handful of problems here along with a few monkey wrenches thrown in. I'd love to dig down into the root of the problems here and fix everything. I've tried so many times and spent countless hours researching. I don't like the whole mindset I have of not even caring about fixing the problem, but I've lived like this since I knew I could masturbate or have sex. At this point, I'm already tired out. I'm 22 years old and still a virgin. I attribute being a virgin partly due to these problems. I finally opened up to a close friend about all of this. While he was understanding and wants to help, he can only offer so much advice.

I recently met a girl and we're going out for the first time on Sunday. Obviously since I never cared about having a girlfriend this is all new to me and I'm a bit nervous. I'm even MORE nervous about the physical part of a relationship if it gets to that point. I really can't worry about that now since we aren't in a relationship.

Well, I have nothing else to add since that pretty much sums everything up!

Thanks.

[Keido Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Keido]

Beta blockers cause erectile dysfunction and sexual dysfunction. I'm assuming that's the cause of your problems, since you seem to have trouble ejaculating? Does your urologist know you're taking beta blockers?

Have you tried very quick kegels? Very short kegel beats are supposed to contribute to premature ejaculation, so this may help you out some.

I'd recommend taking Ginkgo Biloba and L-Arginine but I'm not sure if those would have adverse side effects with your blood pressure and other medications. I'd talk to your doctor before taking those supplements, but they definitely help with EQ when taken consistently.

I'm sorry I can't be of more help though. Perhaps you should practice deep breathing for relaxation (this is supposed to help with blood flow too).

[flyboy351 Member Find all posts View Profile Close flyboy351]

Hey Keido,

Thanks for the reply.

My EQ issues stem before the beta blockers but I know the meds have probably made things worse. Yes, I do have a hard time ejaculating. It takes SO much energy to get to that point. Very frustrating.

I've only started doing kegels three weeks ago on a regular basis. I'll try doing quick ones now. I'll also look into those supplements. I'm a bit learry of taking them with my meds but will see what my doctor says. Honestly, I never took the time to relax and take deep breaths. I never seem to have time during the days to even think about relaxing. Maybe I just have to force myself to make the time. Thanks for the tips.

[Keido Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Keido]

If you have trouble setting aside some time to just "sit and breathe", perhaps you should think of starting a yoga practice. It basically amounts to the same thing, but it's also a physical progression of poses that helps you relax as well. I'd recommend taking a class if you can afford it, but an at-home practice would be OK too - it's just much better to learn the poses from a qualified instructor.

[W.M.P. Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close W.M.P.]

Apart from the sexual side-effects of blood-pressure medication, I'd say that using a cold wash-cloth at the end of your workouts is not conducive to any good when it comes to penis health; at least that has been my experience.

Also, if all your sexual experience so far has been solo, then I can tell you also from experience that it's very normal to have EQ problems when all you got is some porn and your hand. The difference in EQ between being solo v.s. being with a willing lady in front of you is HUGE. Putting yourself out there to meet some ladies is a must. If you meet a kind-hearted woman, it will certainly be one of the best things to ever happen to you not only as a man, but as a man who's trying to find some answers to this medical condition of yours. A good woman will be caring, supportive and understanding as long as you're good to her and don't take your frustrations and insecurities out on her. If you're a good man to her, she'll be more than satisfied with some oral-sex and other kinds of play while supporting you on your search for answers. And who knows if maybe seeing her in bed with you might have quite a surprising boost on your EQ. Don't put so much pressure on yourself about this upcoming date; just go, hang out with her as a human being and see if you enjoy her company first and foremost. If you two hit it up real good and develop good chemistry, it can mean the beginning of a better, more rewarding stage of your life.

Also, as Keido pointed out, the Beta-Blockers are known to cause problems below the belt for men, so maybe you could talk to your PCP about the possibility of an alternate treatment.

Question: Have you searched for answers outside the realm of Alopathic Medicine? There's a whole world of healing out there that's worth checking out. I worked for a doc in NYC for about 2yrs, who had several medical degrees (including MD and ND) and has quite a unique approach to healing. I had NEVER heard about anyone who could stop Multiple Sclerosis in its tracks until I worked with this guy. I saw this doc get hypertension patients off their meds completely after YEARS of suffering with hypertension and it's frustrating side-effects. I saw this guy help and heal many people who had pretty much run out of options, including actual MD's who had been unsuccessful at trying to heal their ailments through the Alopathic approach. This guy was quite a gifted healer and I'm sure he's not the only one out there.

[W.M.P. Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close W.M.P.]

I do have a hard time ejaculating. It takes SO much energy to get to that point. Very frustrating.
Honestly, I never took the time to relax and take deep breaths. I never seem to have time during the days to even think about relaxing. Maybe I just have to force myself to make the time. Thanks for the tips.

Bingo! Gotta relax, buddy. Stress and anxiety are well known "boner killers" and will surely make orgasm quite hard to achieve too. To try to "beat" your cock into erection is like trying to beat a stubborn mule into doing something; it ain't gonna happen buddy. You gotta relax first and foremost. If you read up on ED, you'll find that the #1 cause of ED is stress and anxiety.

[flyboy351 Member Find all posts View Profile Close flyboy351]

Well I determined a while ago I had ED, or some form of it. I guess I let stress and anxiety overcome a lot of things in my life and I know it is a main concern of mine. I am seeing a therapist for this; however, her solutions don't seem to work. She wanted to try medication but in my opinion that masks the problem. I'm also considering going for my Private Pilots License and medication like that isn't accepted by the FAA to get an approved medical.

I also believe there are other psychological issues. I always say... "Okay, well I won't get hard this time so why bother trying." With that attitude I don't. However, if I say... "Okay, I'm horny and feeling great," that doesn't work either.

I haven't looked into anything outside of medicine. Not really sure where to start with that.

Thanks for the suggestions and help!

[W.M.P. Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close W.M.P.]

Well I determined a while ago I had ED, or some form of it. I guess I let stress and anxiety overcome a lot of things in my life and I know it is a main concern of mine. I am seeing a therapist for this; however, her solutions don't seem to work. She wanted to try medication but in my opinion that masks the problem.

Some times therapists are too quick to prescribe meds for psychological issues. Sure there are some meds (mainly Wellbutrin) that, contrary to most anxiety/depression meds, will actually jack up your libido. However, to try such a thing you would have to sit with your doc and discuss what type of interactions it could have with your current medication regimen. Wellbutrin is great for psych-based ED, but it's known to raise blood-pressure in some people.

I haven't looked into anything outside of medicine. Not really sure where to start with that.

I'd say you start researching chiropractors and N.D.'s (obviously the fully certified, licensed N.D.'s and not one of the many bootleg quacks out there, who claim to be "Natural Healers" and have "extensive knowledge of natural remedies"; you wanna consult a certified, licensed professional that got his degree at a reputable, well established school.) You can also look up D.O.'s (Osteopathic Doctors) in your area. Doctor's in Osteopathic Medicine all have the same training as an Allopathic Doctor (M.D.), which allows them to specialize in any branch of medicine such as surgery, urology, etc. However, they also have additional training on structural manupulation of the body (pretty much like a Chiropractor), plus the philosophy of Osteopathic medicine focuses on treating the patient as a whole, whereas Allopathic medicine focuses solely on treating an ailment. You're in the Mid-West, which has long been a stronghold for all kinds of alternative healers, so you should have no problem finding a good one.

Thanks for the suggestions and help!

Now the key thing here is to keep your spirits up no matter what. Stay positive, ALWAYS.

[flyboy351 Member Find all posts View Profile Close flyboy351]

Hey,

Thanks for all of the replies. Didn't expect it.

I want to avoid meds at all costs. I'll still talk to my specialist about the beta blockers and see if there are alternatives. However, the current ones I'm on are alternatives to other meds that made me very tired. The first words out of my therapists mouth were in regards to medication. I do not think I should take them. I just need to figure out how to remove my daily stress and anxiety on my own. I have a certain routine I follow every single week day which doesn't leave me much free time outside of a few hours after 8pm.

Pardon this question, but what is an N.D.?

Thanks.

[W.M.P. Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close W.M.P.]

Pardon this question, but what is an N.D.?

An N.D. is a Doctor in Naturopathy.

[D`Argo Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close D`Argo]

Hey flyboy,

I’m glad to meet you. I’m a new guy here on the forums, but I feel many of the problems you are facing are ones that I am going through now or have in the past. Everything except the POTS.

I’d like to start with your feeling down about being a virgin ag 22. I was a virgin until 21, and would have been one for many more years if I hadn’t of lucked out and met someone that I felt comfortable with. 22 is not that big of a deal and I know where you’re coming from with being one and just losing 80 pounds. I had lost 55 before I met my first wife, and that had caused a lot of self-hatred with being so fat. I still deal with some of that today 14 years later.

I want to move this directly into something else, so bear with me here. You can actually use this to your advantage in your first sexual encounter. Tell her that this is your first time and you’re real paranoid about getting her pregnant. You’ve never used a condom before, so those feelings are completely new. Start out with just feeling each other up and making out. Move into maybe trying oral on her or using your hand on her. Watch your response when she’s moving her body and moaning. Is it positive? Don’t panic if it isn’t. I’ll tell you more why not to later. If you’re not getting hard and she asks why, tell her that you’re just so nervous and she SHOULD comfort you and try to help. After all, she is an understanding woman and already kows this is your first time.

This moves me into your having trouble getting an erection. I’m going through this right now, too! I’ve recently visited a doctor who specialized in ED for a long time, and he tells me that not using it, or getting erections regularly, will cause your muscle to weaken to the point that it can not get or maintain an erection. He said that in order to keep a healthy penis you should keep a full erection for 30 minutes at a minimum 3 x per week. It is obvious to me that you and I require more than this to boost us past our hurdle.

Your uruologist keeps telling you that there is nothing wrong with you and that he can’t help you. That tells me that he has reached the end of his knowledge in the situation and doesn’t want to tell you he doesn’t know any more. I recommend finding another doctor. You HAVE to start getting erections in order to get past this. He SHOULD be prescribing you Levitra or something to help stimulate this for you. My doctor told me that if you can’t respond to the Levitra, that you should move directly into getting shots into your penis to force it to get hard.

I can relate to you on this because I’m having trouble after just one single year of celibacy and not getting erections while I slept due to anti-depressant medication. Probably more if you count all of the sucky sex I was having before that with my ex. I fully believe that I can get past this and know what my problems are, but I still start to feel down on myself about the situation. This makes the problem even worse. I can see that it has already taken its psychological toll on you from what you’ve said. This makes your need for medicine even stronger.

Now let’s go back to you fooling around with your lady orally and not getting hard while you do it. I experience the same thing. I can make her cum using just my mouth or hand, and not be into it. It’s hard as hell, but I try not to get down on myself about it. Especially since I didn’t use to have that problem before. She will have to follow-up and get me hard later. If I’m not taking Levitra, then MAYBE we can have innercourse. This past weekend we did it twice in the morning, and both times I was just barely there enough to do it with her on top. I started to feel like a failure. It’s hard, but you just gotta believe that you’re only not getting hard simply because of the weakened muscle and/or mind job.

On a side note, if I did take Levitra then watch out! We can go for hours with her cumming multiple times. This is what gives me hope and faith that it’s simply the weakened muscle like my DR told me so. I believe that if I keep following this regimen of frequent erections that I will be able to do that on my own one day.

As far as your POTS go, I don’t see much about that that would affect your sex life. Just don’t go changing positions all the time. I read it and the only boner killers I saw was the part about your blood pressure dropping after you stand up or lie down. This probably includes going from lieing down to doggy style. Stay clear of that.

Anyways, this is getting pretty long. I hope I was able to help you. It helped me to get it out some, too.

[flyboy351 Member Find all posts View Profile Close flyboy351]

D`Argo,

Nice to meet you as well. Thanks for the reply and sharing things. No worries about a long reply... It's all good.

I never thought of using those ideas to my advantage during my first sexual experience. Thank you for that info. The best part is, it's all true so there's no need to feel guilty (that might make it worse!)

As far as maintaining an erection for that long... It's tough. very tough. If I attempt to do it, I have to grip the base and flex my PC muscle. Gripping hurts and I don't like doing it. If it means having to stay up for 30 minutes or longer, then I guess I have to do it.

I will make an appointment to see another doctor. I tried today and the receptionist was mad because of some stupid thing and nearly yelled at me for calling her instead of a different number. I'll try again tomorrow. I'm a bit apprehensive about ED medication. Do you have to rely on it after taking it for a certain amount of time?

My psychological issues could be all for nothing. I won't know unless I try. I met up with my new friend who is a girl but not yet my girlfriend (that was weird saying that...lol) on Sunday. The intentions are to develop a relationship but since I've never tried before or been in a situation like this I'm taking things slow and not pressuring her. We converse mostly through email and IM and she seems to like that. Anyway, back to Sunday. We talked for a good two hours and I found that she's really great. We enjoy a lot of common things and share a lot of the same dislikes. She seems very understanding and told me today she enjoyed "hanging out with me" yesterday. If this develops into a relationship with a physcal part to it, I would be surprised if she would refuse to work with me being that it would be my first time. So, I'd like to make it work... hopefully I won't screw it up. She lives about 30 minutes away which might be hard but still doable.

As far as pots, well, I am contacting my specialist tomorrow and will ask questions about it. I wanted to for some time but never got the courage up to talk to him. I guess it's time.

Thanks again.

[D`Argo Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close D`Argo]

I'm glad to hear things are going good with the woman friend.

One of the things my DR made clear to me more than once was not to use cock rings or pumps. He said they can show some help in the short run, but they will eventually harm you and it will be irreversible. Just wanted to throw that out there.

[flyboy351 Member Find all posts View Profile Close flyboy351]

Thanks for the warning about cock rings. I looked at them but never wanted to buy them.

I have an update though. I talked to my specialist and stopped taking the beta blockers. I'm also trying out Ginkgo Biloba and L-arginine. If there are any negative side effects I'm gong to stop taking them immediately. So far so good though! I was able to get and maintain a pretty good erection last night and honestly it put me in a great mood. I hope this continues.

[Going411x7 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Going411x7]

Lots of great advice here, Flyboy. Those beta blockers can raise hell with erections. They did mine many, many years ago. My doctor kept saying that my ED was in my mind--he was a real asshole. No, it was in my prick!!--not in my mind. When I stopped taking the beta blockers, my woodies came back.

Here is my two cents worth: You don't want to take any meds if you can avoid it, and I understand that. The greatest thing for my erection quality since I started P.E. on my own (my woodies were fading), has been the jelq and the kegel. I practiced these two religously for three months--no stretching whatsoever....and bingo--my woodies came back. I was springing morning wood and eleven o'clock woodies.

I hope this is helpful--a good half to three quarter hour jelqing session with kegeling throughout the session and throughout the day worked wonders for me--maybe they will for you.

Good luck with your girlfriend. After reading this thread, I have a gut feeling that you are on your way to a real recovery as far as your E.D. is concerned.