Your advice would be so welcome...

[lukeyboy84 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close lukeyboy84]

Hi I'm Luke and I've posted before about my Venous Leak which was diagnosed through Ultrasound about 2-3 months ago. Before I get into the main thrust of this situation I'm asking for advice on...I should just explain how the leak affects me.

- I can get and maintain a good 100% erection with stimulation from a girl. Lately and worringly that may be dropping to 70-80% (I think this is just recent anxiety issues)- The stimulation must be constant
- any breaks or changes of position will quickly lead me to worry and thus lose my erection (I would give it 10-15 seconds)
- Standing erections are near on impossible.
- My morning erections have been increasing, but fade the minute I even notice they're there.
- I do wake in the night and notice I have an erection (It's funny, I think I've trained my brain to monitor my erections on some sub-conscious level at night, i think about it so effing much)
- Re: Masturbation - Once again I can get 100% but only if I'm really horny and it would take visual stimulation ie: porn. However, again, this needs constant stimulation and even then, every few seconds or so it will start to fade. meh.

So now, i'll try and keep it real brief cos I hate having to read endless lines of text myself. Sorry!

I have a girlfriend. Smart, beautiful, dedicated and caring. However, as she lives far from me, I have to dedicate ALL my free time to her thus forfeiting a social life and my friends think I'm a massive flop now! PUNN INTENDED! I really think I would have split up with her by now in the search for someone who lives closer and who is much more relaxed and chilled. Someone who will let me have time with my friends too! But I'm scared to. I feel like if I do, I run the risk of not finding anyone, of constantly disappointing them in bed. Even though my gf claims I have no problem and that she is fully satisfied by me. What if it gets worse? It most likely will right?!

This ED issue is really holding me back. Cialis works a treat for me, but I don't want to go on the one-a-day tabs as have been prescribed to me because I don't want to become dependent on them.

What would you do? Play it safe and commit your whole life to that one person? Or be brave and grab life by the balls?

AND IS THERE ANY HOPE SCIENCE WILL SOLVE VENOUS LEAKS!!???! Thanks guys

[litopita Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close litopita]

Venous leak? Performance anxiety? Social inhibition? Which of these would you like advice about?

[LukeC Member Find all posts View Profile Close LukeC]

Well, the VL I'm getting medical advice on and performance anxiety is just something we have to live with. I just wanna know if I should let myself be helf back by a condition that could deteriorate. Will new women accept me? Or should I play it safe and be with the same woman. (writing from my other username, forgot the password)

[litopita Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close litopita]

Well, the VL I'm getting medical advice on and performance anxiety is just something we have to live with. I just wanna know if I should let myself be helf back by a condition that could deteriorate. Will new women accept me? Or should I play it safe and be with the same woman. (writing from my other username, forgot the password)

Performance anxiety is NOT something we HAVE to live with. Get that OUT of your belief system. Actually this has everything to do with performance anxiety. You are afraid different women will not accept you because you fear that they will require you to "perform" sexually and hence you fear you will fail so you think you are better off with someone who already knows your "failures".

To defeat our fears, we have to face them. There are no alternatives. Go out there and enjoy your sexual life.

[UKGuy Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close UKGuy]

Hi Luke I'm just wondering is there anything you could think of that may of caused the Venous Leak? I don't know if you've tried them but I think Kegels are worth doing as there are studies to back up the effectiveness againist Venous Leak. If the Venous Leakage isn't servere Kegels would probably solve your ED problems for good. I myself I am doing them and my erections are getting better and longer lasting.

Also Luke I know what you mean about being worried with women when you have erection problems I have those concerns too, I've actually started to become more social and invited out but my erection troubles worry me when I do get into situations to have sex. I've realized something my crappy erections are likely due to weak smooth muscles (which Kegels help strengthen) but I have another seperate problem with the glans deflating quickly and not fully expanding which from I what I understand can only really be fixed by tying off the leaking vein but the surgery has a poor success rate and hardly any surgeons perform the procedure.

Luke have you tried Kegels at all? I honestly think they'll really help you they are working for me and this is coming from someone who has suspected Venous Leakage and moderate ED for years.

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

UKGuy that was your best post ever! Rep for you!

[TJM19 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close TJM19]

I have similar problems. You should look into meditation and yoga for relaxation. That is what I am thinking about doing.

[TurtleProblems Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close TurtleProblems]

Has the doctor ever done bloodwork yet?

[LukeC Member Find all posts View Profile Close LukeC]

Hi Luke I'm just wondering is there anything you could think of that may of caused the Venous Leak? I don't know if you've tried them but I think Kegels are worth doing as there are studies to back up the effectiveness againist Venous Leak. If the Venous Leakage isn't servere Kegels would probably solve your ED problems for good. I myself I am doing them and my erections are getting better and longer lasting.

Also Luke I know what you mean about being worried with women when you have erection problems I have those concerns too, I've actually started to become more social and invited out but my erection troubles worry me when I do get into situations to have sex. I've realized something my crappy erections are likely due to weak smooth muscles (which Kegels help strengthen) but I have another seperate problem with the glans deflating quickly and not fully expanding which from I what I understand can only really be fixed by tying off the leaking vein but the surgery has a poor success rate and hardly any surgeons perform the procedure.

Luke have you tried Kegels at all? I honestly think they'll really help you they are working for me and this is coming from someone who has suspected Venous Leakage and moderate ED for years.

Hi UKGuy,

So good to hear from you again. I'm really glad that your situation is improving.

You know, regarding Kegels, I do them but I'm not doing them with any kind of routine or proper knowledge backing me up. I'm like a skinny dude who's just gone into a gym and doesn't know the first thing about bulking up. Do you know where I can find a good routine that will tell me how and how often?

It's so hard to know how much is anxiety and how much isn't. I wish they would just find a fricking cure for this, it's so disheartening.

Oh and TMJ19, I had blood work done and everything was in the normal ranges. Testosterone slightly higher than average.

Thanks guys

[DenRayPar Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close DenRayPar]

UKGuy is speaking truth. I started the beginner program a month ago. I did research on google search"kagel exercises for men" and PEGYM and it solved myED. I made love to my wife today and after an orgasm and a 20 minute erection after that we finally had to stop because we wern't used to that kind of going on. So good luck and start doing research.