Can't keep an erection during sex.

[cbnaufel Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close cbnaufel]

Guys, I come to you with a problem that is hurting my relationship. Everytime I have sex with my girlfriend, I cannot maintain an erection. I don't know what's wrong. I am very attracted to my girlfriend and I am rock hard when sex starts, but I eventually get soft during the middle of sex and I definitely cannot maintain an erection when she's on top. Now she thinks that it's her fault when I can't stay hard and I can't convince her that it's my own problem. Can anyone give me some advice?

[Guest Close schwing]

I popped in here for the first time just to see what's happening here and I felt like I have to say something, because your issue seems to be very common.

I can't help you with convincing your GF that it's you and not her. You can keep telling her that it IS something you are dealing with and it has nothing to do with her, but if she got it in her mind that it's her fault then there is nothing anyone can do. Just talk to her.

As for ED, unless there is something physically blocking blood flow to the penis there is no reason why any guy should have erection problems. That said, most ED occurs from a whole range of issues, anything from psychological hangups to penis health, to overall health, to anxiety, to just being tired. And it goes on and on. So, the first thing you need to do is check your cholesterol. Make sure your arteries are not clogged due to heart disease. If you smoke then I can virtually guarantee that you'll have ED problems. The chemicals in cigarettes constrict blood vessels and leave deposits on the walls of arteries, both of which restrict blood flow. If those are not issues for you, then there might be something that occupies your mind or something that bothers you and that's why you can't perform. Or it could be as simple as the position not being stimulating enough for you. And if that's the case, then simply use positions that do it for ya. I really hope this helps.

[adiavroxos Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close adiavroxos]

I sometimes have this issue.
Duriing foreplay, I may not be hard. I may not get 100% erect when Im giving oral too. When my gf stimulates me, I get 100% erect, but then sometimes I just lose it within seconds. I may lose my erection even during sex. The solution I know for that is to just relax and dont be afraid. If it happens, I know I can fix it. Before penetration I know my gf is more than happy to see me getting hard by her hand or mouth (keep in mind though that if you dont clear your mind and relax, it may take several minutes to get you fully erect and you may not be able to last 1' after penetration and ejaculate). If it happens during sex, then I just change my thrusting style to full thrusts and increase my stimulattion, this will get me erect within a few thrusts.
I dont think its something physically wrong with me, as I also asked 2-3 doctors. They all said the same: If you have erections now and then, especially when you wake up, then there is nothing wrong with your system down there and its all fear. I believe them, as I also have PE issues sometimes and im kind of afraid that I wont last long enough. When I relax and just have faith in my self, everything becomes easier.

If I were you, I'd stop watching porn and think of my gf istead during masturbation, and just have faith.
Hope this helps.

[Zman007 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Zman007]

The most likely culprit is psychological ED. But before we get carried away with advice, lets get some more information first.

Age?
Porn and Masturbation habits?
How long has this been a problem?
Do you suffer from weak erections in general?
Do you suffer from anxiety over this issue?


The simplest explanation is that you have some sexual anxiety over this issue and it has become the cause of the issue. Its a vicious cycle. Something happens, say you randomly lose an erection during sex for some reason(drugs, alcohol, stress, fatigue). The next time you have sex you worry about it happening again and that performance anxiety become the cause of the Ed and purpetuater of the cycle.

Relax, talk to her, and take things one day at a time. There isn't anything wrong with you physically as achieving rock hard erection at the beginning of sex rules out most physical ED, but mentally you need to relax and avoid fixating on the performance anxiety. You could start a light jelqing routine as it could further increase your EQ and make it harder to lose an erection. Most importantly, just talk to her and let her know that it is a problem that you are facing and you would like her help with it. Make sure to reiterate that you find her attractive and its anxiety over losing your erection that is the major problem. Sometimes just opening up that dialogue will make the difference for you.

[checkerect Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close checkerect]

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[Realman Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Realman]

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[checkerect Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close checkerect]

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[Realman Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Realman]

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