Can't get hard without squeezing!

[kj7 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close kj7]

Hi guys! I just joined this forum, although I've had this problem for as long as I can remember.

Whenever I get horny, I can definitely feel it moving and 'growing', but I can't get really hard without squeezing my kegel muscle. Its the same when I have sex, even when I'm inside my gf, whenever I try to relax my penis I start to slowly loose the erection. I simply have to squeeze that muscle to stay hard, and its getting so frustating. Does anybody else have this problem, and if so, do you have any idea how to overcome it?

Thanks.

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

Welcome and how old might you be?

[kj7 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close kj7]

Hi, and thanks. I'm 20

[arkham Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close arkham]

And two additional questions. Do you watch alot of porn? Do you do kegel excercises?

[kj7 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close kj7]

Hmm, I wouldnt say alot, no. Atleast not compared to how much I used to watch, lol Probably watch porn 1-3 times a week. Kegel excercise? Is that where you squeeze that muscle down there? If so, yeah, I do that alot. Or used to, rather, don't do it much anymore.

[kj7 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close kj7]

Anyone?

[Derek2k Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Derek2k]

I'm new to all this stuff, but I can offer a guess and hopefully somebody can follow it up.

Maybe you've grown dependent on getting it up in that fashion and now rely on it? Try getting turned on with your mind (not watching porn) and without clenching. Over time, your body might become used to it.

[kj7 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close kj7]

Hi Derek. Thanks for answering.

The thing, I really 'rely' on that kegel squeeze to actually feel pleasure at all. I mean, I can be laying in my bed touching myself relaxing my penis, and then I do a quick squeeze and it just feels ten times better. Also when I masturbate, I can't ejaculate without locking my legs and squeezing that muscle, and keeping it squeezed.

I never really thought about it, but now I realise this isnt how its supposed to be. Any advice?

[Derek2k Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Derek2k]

The only advice I have is what I mentioned. I hope somebody else can bring some though. I'd like to know just out of curiosity

[BTBrian Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close BTBrian]

I'm new to all this stuff, but I can offer a guess and hopefully somebody can follow it up.

Maybe you've grown dependent on getting it up in that fashion and now rely on it? Try getting turned on with your mind (not watching porn) and without clenching. Over time, your body might become used to it.

Hi Derek. Thanks for answering.

The thing, I really 'rely' on that kegel squeeze to actually feel pleasure at all. I mean, I can be laying in my bed touching myself relaxing my penis, and then I do a quick squeeze and it just feels ten times better. Also when I masturbate, I can't ejaculate without locking my legs and squeezing that muscle, and keeping it squeezed.

I never really thought about it, but now I realise this isnt how its supposed to be. Any advice?

If none of the local experts haven't commented on it yet it's because nobody here has heard of this problem before/knows about it, so I'd say you're probably on your own for this one, unfortunately. The best course of action MIGHT be to see a doctor.

I have a very high inkling that derek is spot on though. People get dependent on things really easily when it comes to erections. I totally know what you mean when you say it feels better when you squeeze, it feels better for all of us. In fact, involuntary contractions are what cause ejaculation! It makes sense that your body may have grown used to this extra stimulation and now is reliant on it.

My advice is this: Either go to a doctor and ask him (I'm guessing he won't be able to tell you what it is, he'll just prescribe you some Viagra or something most likely) or stop watching porn completely (like for a couple months) and completely stop contracting that muscle when trying to get an erection. Instead, 3-4 times a week I'd go to a dark, completely quite room and just completely relax and stroke yourself, don't focus on trying to get an erection but instead focus purely on the sensation of you touching your penis and being relaxed. Consciously control yourself so that you are not contracting. You will probably feel nothing, no kind of erection at all for the first couple of weeks but after that it should slowly start getting better and eventually you will be back to normal. Do it for about 10-20 minutes each time, or more if you feel like it.

That is how porn-induced ED is cured basically, I think what you're experiencing is based on a similar mechanism. Porn-induced ED is caused from overstimulation of the brain, and I think what you are experiencing is also caused from an overstimulation.

[imac Retired Moderator Member of the Month Nov 12PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close imac]

I agree with BT. I think you've learned some bad masturbation habits and are now dependant on them for relieve.

I would do as BT says and get back to basics and retrain yourself.

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

Okay let's get back to this. You have been given good advice here but let's get back to real basic stuff. You're 20 years old; do you know what that means? It means, baring an serious medical condition which I bet you don't have, that your dick should get hard when the wind blows. You're letting you mind make an issue when you don't physically have one. Shit let me be your age and I'll screw all day long. So let's put porn aside, stop jerking off ( that's what you do when you get married- just wait you'll see), go out find a girl and screw her brains out without thinking. I swear you young guys nowadays love to mess up a purely physical thing by thinking way too much. Okay now go find a girl and screw! Those are orders! ( you'll be fine if you just stop thinking)

[BTBrian Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close BTBrian]

Okay let's get back to this. You have been given good advice here but let's get back to real basic stuff. You're 20 years old; do you know what that means? It means, baring an serious medical condition which I bet you don't have, that your dick should get hard when the wind blows. You're letting you mind make an issue when you don't physically have one. Shit let me be your age and I'll screw all day long. So let's put porn aside, stop jerking off ( that's what you do when you get married- just wait you'll see), go out find a girl and screw her brains out without thinking. I swear you young guys nowadays love to mess up a purely physical thing by thinking way too much. Okay now go find a girl and screw! Those are orders! ( you'll be fine if you just stop thinking)

Meh, I started losing erections when i was 19 for absolutely no reason and I hadn't ever even thought about it before. Sometimes it's more than just over-thinking it. My problem turned out to be getting used to porn and it took me a LONG time to figure it out and fix it. The mental side is usually a big thing but sometimes it's more than just that.

[kingpole Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close kingpole]

What medications are you on. Do you drink a lot of alcohol

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

For a 20 year old guy who has problems getting erections, barring a medical condition, it's always his head! Whether he's into porn way too much or he thinks sex is a compettion ( instead of enjoying it)or trys some other way to goof it up he must reconcile that the problem is mental not physical!