20 Year Old - Why is this happening...

[Mark 1 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Mark 1]

Hey guys,

Recently I have had a little trouble getting/keeping an erection with my girlfriend.
It first started when I would take drugs (not sure if it ok to talk about that and apologies to admin if I am not) and not be able to "get it up" which is quite common.

Then it happened a night after as I would think about not getting it up. Eventually I would get it hard and have sex but midway I may loose EQ and even go flaccid because I would think about trying to keep it up and stress myself out...
How can I stop thinking about this it is stressing me out so much!
Something like this has happened about 10 times out of about 80-100 and it happened twice last week. It only happens when I think about keeping an erection instead of focusing on her...

My girlfriend is really attractive so it has nothing to do with that as I am both physically and emotionally attracted to her. What's wrong with me?
Thanks

[goal8X6 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close goal8X6]

Hey man im 21 and i have a similar story to yours , i took drugs a good bit between the ages of 14 - 20 and had similar problems with ED. I gave up drugs and alcohol 6 months ago. Yes the drugs definitely would affect your errection level but there a number of different factors as well. For instance I literally had sex 1 hour ago with a girl i brought home but i couldn't for the life of me keep it up I don't know if it has to do with the fact that its 6am and im tired or the fact that i am a heavy smoker or that i watch alot of porn and am desensitized to it all. It is probably a combination of all three. But anyways it was quite embarrassing that i couldnt keep it up although i consider myself healthy apart from smoking too much ( im in the gym 5 days a week) but the smoking would affect circulation etc etc...

Do you smoke?
Do you drink often?
The more you think about trying to keep it up the harder it is to keep it up. This is the psychological side to it that i found a bit of extra foreplay helps a good deal. If you watch porn alot this could affect it aswell , there are other threads dedicated to that topic.

Try and go in with a positive mindset and if u start to worry about not being able to keep it up try and reassure yourself that youv'e kept it up before in similar circumstances before so theres no reason why it can't be kept up this time. best of luck anyways

[alan020 Member of the Month Jan 13 Find all posts View Profile Close alan020]

Firstly doing drugs is a no no if you want overall health and a decent EQ. Also you may be just a bit nervous with her I would imagine its more psychological than physical but I would still quit the drugs if I were you.
Also I agree with goal8x6 above, another irish man cant be wrong haha

[Mark 1 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Mark 1]

Hey 8x6, thanks for the reply.

I think we are in pretty much the same position but it happens to me with my girlfriend.

I am in the gym minimum four days a week, but like you I do smoke daily. Mostly around friends but a little bit when I am by myself as well.

As for drinking, I have cut down quite a lot because I am out of the college scene for the holidays and I am trying to get fit for summer rapidly. But I still go out at least one or two times a week normally getting quite drunk.

As for drugs, I haven't touched them in probably two months or so and I think I will not take any for a while.

I rarely watch porn because I just don't find it interesting. I think it is almost completely psychological so I will go in with a positive and reassuring mindset. Will repost tomorrow morning and tell you how i go tonight!

But yea I agree on the foreplay bit completely. I remember the other day my girlfriend was about to start her period and she wanted a quickie before leaving my house. I really just couldn't help her at all...

[Mark 1 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Mark 1]

Thanks Alan,
I think I am a little nervous and I am not sure why... I have slept with over 25 girls in my life without a problem like this before. I may not have added this is my first serious relationship and I am about 7 weeks in and I suppose (without sounding to corny) she's the first girl I have really really liked.

[alan020 Member of the Month Jan 13 Find all posts View Profile Close alan020]

No problem, I found the same thing myself, the first few times I had sex with my girlfriend I wasnt nervous really, but as we got more comfortable and I knew we would be having sex when we met up it got me nervous beforehand and lead to premature ejaculation for me. Honestly, most decent girls wont care it will go away with time. Oh and good starting stats as well man

[Mark 1 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Mark 1]

Well last night I went in with the right motivation and I think with the help of kegal and proper from jelqs, I had what felt like the biggest erection of my life!
I hope this sort of thing doesn't happen too often (referring to not getting it up of course!).

[litopita Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close litopita]

Well last night I went in with the right motivation and I think with the help of kegal and proper from jelqs, I had what felt like the biggest erection of my life!
I hope this sort of thing doesn't happen too often (referring to not getting it up of course!).

I wouldn't use the word motivation. Because then it looks like you are going in for some fight or job or something. Replace that word with "approach". Yesterday you went in with the right approach towards sex and thus you were able to "enjoy" sex instead of "performing" it. It wasn't the kegels/jelqs. It wasn't. It was the right approach. If you want SPA not to happen again you think very well about how you approached and "enjoyed" sex yesterday and then you replicate that the next time. Thats how you do it.

[goal8X6 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close goal8X6]

It's great to hear it went well for you the other night thefuzz1669 , keep it up (the good work of course no pun intended ha )