An update on my situation advice please

[UKGuy Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close UKGuy]

So I haven't posted here in awhile mainly because I don't practice PE but rather I am trying to fix my long term impotence. I won't go through everything again because I don't want to sound like a broken record but unfortunately the erection issues remain.

Okay so several members here recommend I see someone like a psychiatrist as they believe my erection issues are all in my head (which I disagree) which I have and I will continue another session in a few weeks from now. Well basically I had a brief assessment on my birthday I told the guy everything the whole embarrassment of trying to enlarge my penis when I was 21 and being impotent since he is convinced it's all psychological which I explained isn't a t least not 100% as I rarely get random wood any more or morning erections if I do they disappear fast. I also said I feel emotionally numb and sometimes think about suicide mainly because of the ED and emotional blunting. He acknowledges that I have sexual issues and believes I might be depressed (which I don't think I am) but anyway I am trying an anti depressant called trazodone which I have been taking for a few weeks it is supposed to increase libido but so far I feel no difference and my sex drive is as low as ever. I have noticed some nighttime erections (glans is still deflated) but erections aren't there when I wake up. I recently received a write up of my session which suggested I have a premorbid personality (Bipolar?) and some signs of Psychosis. Honestly I have no idea what to think and they want to do further assessments and CBT I personally think I may have some personality disorder personally OCD or something. They also wanted to check my hormones so I got another blood test recently. I don't think Ill see the results but I remember my last blood test came back normal I saw the numbers and I think my Testosterone was in the in 400's which seems kind of low for 28 year old. I wonder if low T could be causing some of my problems. Here is some of my issues:

Low libido (I rarely feel horny and unless I watch porn there is no arousal, no random wood, rarely think of sex etc only ejaculate a few times a month at the most, it takes a long time to recover from ejaculation too before I can get a decent erection again)

Impotence (No morning erections, less sensitivity, deflated glans, weak erection difficulty staying hard etc)

Emotional bluntness (no emotions, generally feel numb I'm pretty sure I'm not depressed, I don't feel sad or upset it's hard to describe to people. it kind of feels like I just go through the motions and reactions are fake acted etc. Like my personality/soul is gone weird feeling. I've been like this for 3 years or so. I can't feel much empathy anymore.

Brainfog (it feels like my memory is poor like part of my brain has been wiped, I can't think as clearly as I should/used to it feels harder to concentrate simple tasks take more focus.. I also get in these weird states of depersonalization where I feel detached from everything and unreal, like I'm in a dream.

Anxiety it seems to have of got more consistent over the months I often feel anxious, agitated at work, out socially which seems for no reason and I get paranoid a lot, think people are talking, laughing at me hearing voices when no ones there sometimes..

Any thoughts on this? Could I be suffering from Low T or a personality disorder. Can anyone relate to this?

Thanks

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

It deosn't sound like a healthy guy does it? You have to do what you need to do to get yourself physically and mentally healthy. No you won't find the cures on these forums but you will find a lot of support.

[litopita Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close litopita]

"Self pity is easily the most destructive of the non-pharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality. --- John Gardner"

The above quote is one of my favorites when it comes to guys wallowing in self pity. One of the main problems of someone in this state is that they just wont believe what people tell them, be it doctors, therapists, psychiatrists e.t.c They just wont believe. They are convinced they know what their problem is and are more concerned with feeling sad for themselves and observing how life sucks instead of picking themselves up and looking for positives and working for self betterment. But the truth is that life sucks. So the faster you ACCEPT your situation and decide to deal/live with it, the better. I always tell people that no one "owes" them anything. Not even their parents. Its true.

But in regards to your question, I will just say low Testosterone has nothing whatsoever to do with issues like emotional numbness, brainfog, anxiety e.t.c Those are all mental issues. And impotence has NOTHING to do with morning erections and glans size. Your pre-occupation with morning/random erections is puzzling to be honest. I never get any of the 2 and am not impotent. And low libido cant be easily measured the way many guys think. We are not He-goats to go around smelling females behinds and spraying semen to show libido. Libido is dependent on surroundings and environments. If ypu are always alone and no social life and looking at your PC/porn, then your environments are poor thus no way to express libido. You have to literally "get a life" first of all. Then most importantly listen to your doctors and psychiatrists cause believe me, they know more than you. Way more than you. And lastly, your life does NOT revolve around your penis. Are you fucking kidding? What about the athletes we saw competing happily in the para Olympics without both legs and hands? Get real man.

Cheers and good luck mate

[deepak84 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close deepak84]

Hi,
I m in similar situation hope we can help each other and try to get out of these things....plz message me your yahoo or skype..

[Tesla.86 Member Find all posts View Profile Close Tesla.86]

Hey UKguy read my posts, iam in the same boat as you, the depression and suicidal thinking comes directly when you loose the real sexdrive aka arousal, psychologically we both want sex but just form the thinking but our feelings are not like that. Its in my view an natural reaction, if you dont get aroused anymore your drug of life has been taken. You know like me, when you would just feel a little bit downthere again, you would get motivated and back to life.

I dont know what you think but read my posts, i think its about the nerves, in the glans there are different nerves, and the nerve for the enjoyment and branch of the dorsal nerve has nothing to do with normal touch feelings these are other peripheral nerves. The electricity is away, most guys think they get spontanous sexual thoughts because of their mind but in most cases its the stimulation you get downthere and rightafter it comes to your mind.

Life is all about having the chance making babies, woman are like our drugs, we get pleasure looking at them or just thinking about them thats it what all drive in life is about.

I had before my accident an crazy ass sexdrive and drive for life. my mind was sharp and focused, now nothing bad concentration even i really want, but the brain thinks the other way. All the things i used to have fun were driven by the sexdrive, and the guys cant unterstand you, if i would be healty, i would say the same as the others, but now in the same boat, ill tell you, this is natural self destruction. Every lifeform needs pleasure to go on, if there is no pleasure life makes no sense to the lifeform. The strongest drug on earth SEX, is taken from us, the drug which is more addictive than any other drug in the world. All guys are driven, not only by their thinking, they are driven by theier sexdrive.

What iam now doing is to checkout which drug could be for us good to stay just a bit motivated that everyday is not a torture. Iam thinking in stimulating opiod-receptors to get stimulated to go on. Dopamine pushing drugs are only working if they are triggering their release. When i take a bit methyphenidat aka ritalin it helps pretty good with focus, its not that focus as before but way better only problem is to get this stuff.

Our kind of "depression" cant be ruled out with those normal ADs what we really need is an strong stimulating drug that does the job of the lost penis.

Ukguy and every other with same problem iam also looking to get the problem solved, contact me and well share our wisdom in that unbelieveable hardcore illness. We are in the same boat, dont get understood by others, so lets help us together.

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

"Self pity is easily the most destructive of the non-pharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality. --- John Gardner"

The above quote is one of my favorites when it comes to guys wallowing in self pity. One of the main problems of someone in this state is that they just wont believe what people tell them, be it doctors, therapists, psychiatrists e.t.c They just wont believe. They are convinced they know what their problem is and are more concerned with feeling sad for themselves and observing how life sucks instead of picking themselves up and looking for positives and working for self betterment. But the truth is that life sucks. So the faster you ACCEPT your situation and decide to deal/live with it, the better. I always tell people that no one "owes" them anything. Not even their parents. Its true.

But in regards to your question, I will just say low Testosterone has nothing whatsoever to do with issues like emotional numbness, brainfog, anxiety e.t.c Those are all mental issues. And impotence has NOTHING to do with morning erections and glans size. Your pre-occupation with morning/random erections is puzzling to be honest. I never get any of the 2 and am not impotent. And low libido cant be easily measured the way many guys think. We are not He-goats to go around smelling females behinds and spraying semen to show libido. Libido is dependent on surroundings and environments. If ypu are always alone and no social life and looking at your PC/porn, then your environments are poor thus no way to express libido. You have to literally "get a life" first of all. Then most importantly listen to your doctors and psychiatrists cause believe me, they know more than you. Way more than you. And lastly, your life does NOT revolve around your penis. Are you fucking kidding? What about the athletes we saw competing happily in the para Olympics without both legs and hands? Get real man.

Cheers and good luck mate

I think it deserves to be read again!

[Tesla.86 Member Find all posts View Profile Close Tesla.86]

CUSP82, really, its not that we dont get you, but listen there are some guys out there who might have some psychological issues and then having such kind of problems. But the cause for the depression in that case or like in mine is that no pleasure is coming up from the penis, read lostintorture s posts he still could get rockhard but had no more sensitivity. Like already my Neurological Dr. said to me, if you dont feel pleasure down there is reality not in your mind.

The libido we mean is more the real one getting aroused whole over the body, psychologically we "want", but not feeling it, Its so unbelieveable difficult to describe it, that just if you would have it by your own you would be believe it.

But accepting such an really really really bad condition is not possible, if you do, youre done with your life because you stop fighting for it.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

There are lots of guys who have other pleasures in life. Some guys are born with low drive and live good lives.
I think finding pleasure in life is important ,but this fixation is unhealthy and may well be driving the problem.

[needingalift Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close needingalift]

I can identify with a lot of the things that UKGuy and Tesla have written.

I'm sorry, but those who are not in our situation can only speculate (at best!) about what it's like and advice such as 'getting a life', even if meant in a constructive sense, is useless!!! This is precisely the point that members suffering from ED/libido issues have been trying to get across ... it's impossible to lead a normal life with this because your libido is such an important driving force behind all that you do.

I had before my accident an crazy ass sexdrive and drive for life. my mind was sharp and focused, now nothing bad concentration even i really want, but the brain thinks the other way. All the things i used to have fun were driven by the sexdrive, and the guys cant unterstand you, if i would be healty, i would say the same as the others, but now in the same boat, ill tell you, this is natural self destruction. Every lifeform needs pleasure to go on, if there is no pleasure life makes no sense to the lifeform. The strongest drug on earth SEX, is taken from us, the drug which is more addictive than any other drug in the world. All guys are driven, not only by their thinking, they are driven by theier sexdrive.

Yes, ABSOLUTELY!!! There is a definite link between losing your sex drive and your motivation and zest for life in general. It's happened to me and many, many others and cannot simply be dismissed as "all in the mind" - no way!

Low libido (I rarely feel horny and unless I watch porn there is no arousal, no random wood, rarely think of sex etc only ejaculate a few times a month at the most, it takes a long time to recover from ejaculation too before I can get a decent erection again)

Impotence (No morning erections, less sensitivity, deflated glans, weak erection difficulty staying hard etc)

Emotional bluntness (no emotions, generally feel numb I'm pretty sure I'm not depressed, I don't feel sad or upset it's hard to describe to people. it kind of feels like I just go through the motions and reactions are fake acted etc. Like my personality/soul is gone weird feeling. I've been like this for 3 years or so. I can't feel much empathy anymore.

Brainfog (it feels like my memory is poor like part of my brain has been wiped, I can't think as clearly as I should/used to it feels harder to concentrate simple tasks take more focus.. I also get in these weird states of depersonalization where I feel detached from everything and unreal, like I'm in a dream.

Anxiety it seems to have of got more consistent over the months I often feel anxious, agitated at work, out socially which seems for no reason and I get paranoid a lot, think people are talking, laughing at me hearing voices when no ones there sometimes..

Any thoughts on this? Could I be suffering from Low T or a personality disorder. Can anyone relate to this?

Yes, if you look up the common symptoms for low testosterone then it will correspond to all of these things you mention, UKGuy. Your T does seem very low, seeing how I'm almost double your age and mine is 571 so this might be a good place to start.

Best of luck!

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

I'm sorry but life is much more than your dick, more than a sex drive, more than libido. It is all about love, compassion, kindness, how you help others in life and how they help you without asking for such help. It's about people and needing people and having them need you. The way you guys make it sound it as if life isn't worth living if your dick doesn't work. Who knows maybe some guy who has his dick chopped off by a lawn mower will find a cure for cancer.I have great empathy for those that have such issues but if it happened to me I would get over it and continue to enjoy my life as well as I could with or without a dick. Hey I love sex but if I had to I could do without it. Not being able to be around people, to see them laugh, to hold a hand, to make great buffalo wings and wacth them get devoured;that I could not live without.

[needingalift Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close needingalift]

I'm sorry but life is much more than your dick, more than a sex drive, more than libido. It is all about love, compassion, kindness, how you help others in life and how they help you without asking for such help. It's about people and needing people and having them need you. The way you guys make it sound it as if life isn't worth living if your dick doesn't work. Who knows maybe some guy who has his dick chopped off by a lawn mower will find a cure for cancer.I have great empathy for those that have such issues but if it happened to me I would get over it and continue to enjoy my life as well as I could with or without a dick. Hey I love sex but if I had to I could do without it. Not being able to be around people, to see them laugh, to hold a hand, to make great buffalo wings and wacth them get devoured;that I could not live without.

CUSP, you really don't understand

[Tesla.86 Member Find all posts View Profile Close Tesla.86]

Of course there are, but i tell you i didnt know for over 7 years what was going on, all my symptoms i thought had an other origin.
I was so suffering the last years of no "energy" and "enjoyment" but i still did a lot of things done.

Its like you took an heroin or crack junkie his drug away, your mind has been programmed on that drug but having an numb penis is way worse, because the drive for sex is not in our minds its one of our "needs" like food.

Typical signs of deep depression but i swear everyone who would loose his feeling down there will get into the downstream.

The euphoric feeling of life is away, the endorphines rushing through your body when getting the strongest pleasure on earth isnt there anymore.

[longrodten Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close longrodten]

Of course there are, but i tell you i didnt know for over 7 years what was going on, all my symptoms i thought had an other origin.
I was so suffering the last years of no "energy" and "enjoyment" but i still did a lot of things done.

Its like you took an heroin or crack junkie his drug away, your mind has been programmed on that drug but having an numb penis is way worse, because the drive for sex is not in our minds its one of our "needs" like food.

Typical signs of deep depression but i swear everyone who would loose his feeling down there will get into the downstream.

The euphoric feeling of life is away, the endorphines rushing through your body when getting the strongest pleasure on earth isnt there anymore.

How are you going to ge that feeling back? How are you going to get you drive back? And are they independant?

[Tesla.86 Member Find all posts View Profile Close Tesla.86]

CUSP i really feel the need to show you my life in pcitures that you believe us, that thinking what you now have will be blown away in a few days after you would loose feeling down there, you would see the world with other eyes totally.
Man i tell you i was so an so damn motivated guy i met nobody who could keep up with me, so many people talked to me on the street, if iam training or doing sports becaused i looked so well and they saw i was really young but having an really strong mind.

I knowed this was my status, like arnold schwarznegger, i was that ONE in my town, and when my energy went away i still went into the gym busting the weights and getting blacked out and afterwards throwing up in the toilett At that time my best friend my weights in the gym didnt gave me the pleasure anymore which i did get before, i just saw an guy in the mirrow holding useless weights in his hands lifting up and down. No Tiger Fire in his eyes, just emptyness.

You know those Meth addicts before-after pictures, you look into their eyes before and see determination in thier eyes and after a few years just emptyness. My eyes became literally the same.

No one can tell me what motivation and drive is, i was it and lost it.

[needingalift Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close needingalift]

How are you going to ge that feeling back? How are you going to get you drive back? And are they independant?

I believe they are closely interlinked, longrodten. There's definitely some kind of (hormonal?) mechanism at work whereby losing your sex drive means losing your drive for most things.

This is difficult to explain any further because only those affected can really take in what's being said here and those with no experience of it cannot. I read stuff about 'self pity', 'it's only your dick', 'if it happened to me I'd get over it' and I just know that there's no way of getting the point across. It's very frustrating but understandable, I suppose.