Where to begin?

[james123 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close james123]

I have been trouble getting completely hard for probably 2-3 years now. I know I should have addressed the problem earlier but now I want to know where to get started. I am going through a divorce now after about 10 years of marriage, but the marriage had been bad for a while now aside from sexual problems. I went to a doctor (family doctor) to ask him about it and all he did was put me on anti-depressants (wellbutrin) and gave me a prescription of levitra. I know the being depressed probably has something to do with it now but this was a problem long before the depression. I would be able to get hard, but never to the full extent that I used to be I'd say 60-75% of the usual and I cannot maintain very long at all unless I am actively using the erection.

I did hear a loud pop once when having sex with my wife in my penis. It hurt for a day or two but I was able to get hard after that. This was 3-4 years ago. I have always been quick on the trigger to, but I used to be able to get hard shortly after and keep going after that, but that isn't really an option now since I am lucky to get one erection. I quit watching porn around 6 weeks ago because I thought that may cause some of my issues. I haven't had sex in about 7-8 months due to the divorce on going, but the stress and anxiety of not being able to perform is going to hurt any chance of future relationships with women. Where do I begin? I am 31, healthy and work out regularly. I know there are probably many topics on this so if I am asking a question that's been asked a 100 times let me know and let me know what to search.... thanks in advance

[Glamissand1 Senior Member Member of the Month March 2014 Find all posts View Profile Close Glamissand1]

It sounds as you have multipul problems, read up on the ED thread for ideas. First thing I would recommend you do is get your head straight. One of the things you can look to for higher hopes is that you are now free to live life the way you choose. Change your out look on life and you can make that gray cloud to go follow someone else. Go out and do something you have aalways wanted to do. Jelqing has helped many to recover erection quality. And welcome to the gym, we will try to help in any way we can.

[Looking4more Retired Moderator Member of the Month Feb 2013PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Looking4more]

Welcome to the Gym james123!
You've come to the right place. Start with the "START HERE" tab (top left of this page). You will find all you need to get started. I started with the JP90 routine and still use a modified version to this day. Just be sure to follow just a beginners routine and nothing more till you get conditioned. Your erection quality (EQ) should improve quickly. Cutting out the porn was a GREAT idea. That has been the cause with many people with the same problem as yours. Always feel free to ask questions here. You have a great group of people here and we are always glad to help.

[Bin Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Bin]

Hi there, I'm new to this site too. I was concerned to read something going 'pop' in your penis - they can, and do, 'break' - and there may be a problem with the spongey parts that fill with blood to provide an erection. I would strongly recommend you discuss this with your doctor / GP and get it checked out.

Aside of that, good luck with your programme!

Bin.

[james123 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close james123]

Thanks for the advice! I have been browsing through several threads and will check out the "Getting Started" section. MY general doctor wasn't a lot of help when I mentioned it to him, I was hoping for a solution other than pills and that was all he wanted to do to address the issue. Is it to soon to check with a urologist?

[Looking4more Retired Moderator Member of the Month Feb 2013PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Looking4more]

It's always good to get a doctors opinion but since you said you could get normal erections after you heard it 3-4 years ago you may be just fine. If you want to play it really safe, you should cut out the porn and start with just some jelqing for the moment. Give that a try for a few weeks and see what happens. If you have any sharp pains, then stop immediately and see the doctor. If you show improvement then start with the whole program.

[Looking4more Retired Moderator Member of the Month Feb 2013PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Looking4more]

Hi there, I'm new to this site too...
Bin.

Welcome to the Gym Bin!

[litopita Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close litopita]

Where to begin? Start by looking for a woman. Any will do for now. Then take her to a room and take off her clothes and slap her ass Then push her on the bed (preferably on her tummy) and then spread her legs and lie in between them (naked as well off-course)

[BigO AdministratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close BigO]

Where to begin? Start by looking for a woman. Any will do for now. Then take her to a room and take off her clothes and slap her ass Then push her on the bed (preferably on her tummy) and then spread her legs and lie in between them (naked as well off-course)

That is a fine example of absolutely crappy advice, sorry bro but all things are not answered by grabbing a gal and putting it to her.

Welcome to the gym, sorry about that on your thread. Are you doing any tyoe of counseling to help you. Many times doctors just throw meds around when many cases can be handled without them.

[james123 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close james123]

That is a fine example of absolutely crappy advice, sorry bro but all things are not answered by grabbing a gal and putting it to her.

Welcome to the gym, sorry about that on your thread. Are you doing any tyoe of counseling to help you. Many times doctors just throw meds around when many cases can be handled without them.

Yes I've seen a counselor that we were going to use for marriage counselling, but only once. I am supposed to go back soon. It is really more about the depression thing though. Although I feel like I am already coming out of that...

I just really would really like to be able to solve this problem with out meds if possible. I am going to start using the 90 day routine pointed out to me earlier. I was also considering taking the levitra in the mean time if needed, but I don't want to use that as a crutch.

[BigO AdministratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close BigO]

Well you have it so hang on to it, you may not need it but it may come in handy. I went through a devorce and I am no epert but the best thing you can do is to get to know yourself again. I was bummed out when I went through mine. We didnt get along anymore, as a matter of fact for quite a long time before we got devorced but it was still a bummer. Many times we guys think that we can fix anything and when we find out we cant it can be a blow to us for many reasons.

I started hanging out with friends and doing things. Got into my own groove, got back into hockey and that really helped. i had not played for about 5 years at that time and getting back out and doing my favorite thing helped alot.

31 is young enough to get out and have some good fun. Remember that you are a good person and you will find another but it is best to find you again first.

I think sometimes the only thing that will work is some time itself.

[james123 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close james123]

Thanks for the encouragement. We had such a bad relationship for so long its not really a surprise just moving on after so long together is strange.


Should I check into getting my testosterone levels checked? I am going to do the 90 day thing but want to be proactive about this after dealing with it so long.

[BigO AdministratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close BigO]

You can get it checked, I am no doctor so I cant say much about it. I would say that whatever you feel is best is the correct thing to do. Odds are that it is more of a mind thing but it wouldnt hurt.

[litopita Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close litopita]

That is a fine example of absolutely crappy advice, sorry bro but all things are not answered by grabbing a gal and putting it to her.

You need to learn to "read between the lines". You cant take everything on face value. Sometimes language is "coded". As in it has a deeper message than it look like. Fair enough this may not have been easy to decipher but I will try to break it down for you and the OP.

You cant determine ED by observation. You know, like how guys like to observe their dicks during masturbation or in the morning and then say how they have ED. Your dick will react differently in different situations under different pressure levels. The one situation where an erection is most indicative is when you are having sex with a naked real life woman with whom there is no "emotional" buggage. Only then can the full sexual response cycle be achieved as you have maximum stimulation visually, mentally and physically. Only then can you have a definitive assumption. Otherwise being obstinate for 8 months and growing through depression/divorce is not the best state to self-diagnose yourself with ED. Its not definitive or indicative in any way. Like I always say, you cant talk about ED without talking about SEX, because then you are just speculating. Thus my crappy advice of going out and getting laid/having sex. Otherwise then how can you say you have ED yet in the last 8 months you have not even attempted sex?

[james123 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close james123]

I see what you are saying now. Either way I haven't been as hard as I used to be before all this started. MAybe it was a result of my bad relationship, but I would still like to start the exercises just to improve EQ.

I'm not trying to get bigger or anything. SO is it recommended to do just the kegels or go ahead with the full JP90 program? I wasn't sure if the jelq qas needed or not.