Solving the problem no matter what

[rusty007 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close rusty007]

So I've suffered with ED since I started to have sex at 18. Before that I used porn from age 13. The first few times it happened I put it down to nerves. I mentioned it to an older friend and he gave me a generic viagra. I gave it a shot and it mostly worked. The only thing I couldnt do was orgasm whilst having sex (only fapping). Over the years this continued to be a problem but it seemed small to me.

Then I met what was my long term partner. Sex was fine at first and I learnt to orgasm. But after a while the drugs stopped working and I wasnt able to get hard. All the while I was able to use porn and have a climax easily. I got away with this by giving my ex alot oral most of the time. She said it wasnt normal but accepted it.

Eventually we split up over other things and with that my porn use went up massively. I was using it 3 times a day for about 9 months. Soon enough I realized I was avoiding meeting up with women because I was afraid of being unable to perform.

So about 4 months ago I realized I was somewhat addicted to porn as I couldnt stop using it. The first month was quit for a while and then give in and binge for a day. Then I started to get better and sometimes I lasted around a week. This past month I no longer use porn but I have orgasmed dry humping a few times in the night. I feel this is better than fapping itself but still not perfect.

Anyway last week I met a woman and everything was going well. I felt confident as I was getting good erections all the time but when it came to it I didnt even get a semi. I ended up giving her head and she was very good about it (couldnt of been any better about it tbh)

Anyway I come here to get advice to see what everyone thinks I should do.

Additional facts;
- I am healthy
- I'm not depressed but have suffered minor mood swings
- Sometimes when I did perform I always fantasized about other things to achieve orgasm (bad i know)
- I get alot of errections when on my own.
- I dont feel that nervous before sex but I do think I hope my dick responds tonight



Please give me any advice you feel may help me

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

First thing to remember; you don't have ed . Oh you do have a lot of mental issues due to excessive porn and a few other things but you don't have ed. Now if you quit the porn, stop thinking you have ed, you may start having some fun.

[not2big Senior Super ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close not2big]

When the opportunity, without stress or pressure to perform, arises, do not make orgasm the primary focus. Instead, focus on ways to get her aroused in different and erotic ways. The pleasure of doing this should help generate a good erection.

[rusty007 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close rusty007]

Yeah its a shame I dont live in the same country as this girl otherwise I think I could explore different avenues of sex with her as I was feeling confident and relaxed with her. I did get a massive buzz out of giving her orgasms atleast.

I think i'll try this 90day no fap thing. I have plenty of time to get this right and want to be very pragmatic about achieving a long term healthy sex life. (The reason for that is i work full time and study during the next 12months and dont have time for a girlfriend).

-Is it normal to need to masterbate before penetration or should it come natural during kissing etc?

-Is it counter productive to imagine really hot sex fantasies while your screwing a girl? (lol i know alot of girls who say they do this)

[rusty007 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close rusty007]

I went without porn and everything for the last 10 days.... I broke that today.

Back to ground zero.

Its funny I think with 50'ish days and a bit of generic viagra i'm sure i'd be fine but its just making it that far