Clear Answers

[TheEros Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close TheEros]

It seems like there is so much information on this site and that is absolutely fantastic but as I read more and more I can't help but feel a bit overwhelmed. I keep having second thoughts about what my problem might be and what I can do to fix it and so I decided that I might as well post directly asking for help. I hope this is not against the rules, I did search around a bit to see if I could find my answers elsewhere.

I am a (almost) 25 years old, 6 feet tall, and currently 260 pounds. I was about 270 but I have started honestly attempting to be healthier and get in better shape. I have always been a sexual person and kind of kinky but in the past two or so years I have been having some trouble. I don't have the sexual drive and urges that I used to and over all everything in life just feels "less". Less exciting, less hopeful, less fun. I was having some trouble with an ex girlfriend a few years ago and so I started taking cialis but I hate it. I used to be a chronic masturbate, I would masturbate every night before bed since I was about 11 or 12 and only very recently stopped due to my sex drive vanishing and my erections feeling smaller and weaker.
I when I would flex my penis (My understanding of what a kegal basically is) I would feel the bottom of me penis. As if there was some sort of wall there that I could feel when I flexed but although my penis still moves slightly when I kegal i don't feel that under part anymore.

I am not sure what my problem is. On one hand I think (and hope) that I have just been depressed for a few years and its having an effect on my sex drive and that is having an effect on my penis. Another theory that I have is that I am just overweight and my body is not working properly do to that. My last main theory is that I just masturbated too much and broke my penis.. which if that is the case than I don't know how I am going to live the rest of my life. I also went through this phase a few years ago where I would take a bunch of excedrin pm to help me sleep and this past school semester I did smoke more pot then I ever had before and so the hypochondriac in me does worry that perhaps I have some sort of brain damage and that would explain my decreased libido.

The things I have done to try to fix my problem are as follows:
Four times a week I go to the gym and use an elliptical machine for 30 minuets and follow that up by doing some basic machines like the chest fly machine.
I have stopped masturbating for the most part.
I take ZMA every night before bed
I take the 5 Gs
I have stopped smoking pot and am seriously thinking of stopping drinking even though I only do that once a week at most.

I just want to feel like I used to. I want to have the "fire" back and I want to have the mind blowing sex that I once did. If I can't get it back then I honestly don't know how I can go on in life. I don't mean to sound over dramatic but as I said, I have always been a sexual person and without that in my life.. Life just is not the same

I appreciate any at all help anyone can give.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

Improving general health and wellbeing would be a good starting point.

[Qandisa Senior Member Member of the Month March 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Qandisa]

I obviously can't speak to personally having had any erection problems but I can say that from personal experience the more weight I had on me, the less interest I had in sex. And like you that was very worrying for me because I've always been a very sexual person.

I found that the heavier I was, the worse I felt about myself and I just couldn't maintain the same level of interest. Now obviously that's not true of everyone - there are some very overweight people who are very sexually active. But it was true for me.

Something else I wondered about was related to a comment a doctor made during a visit. I'd been having problems with periods and was told that I should try going off the pill - not just because it would allow the body to resume naturally regulating itself but specifically because of the relationship between being overweight and the hormones in the pill. I was told that basically the excess fat acted as like a storage house for hormones, retaining them for longer than intended and basically causing them to interfere with my periods. A cursory bit of research on that online showed there was some merit in the theory. I then started wondering, if that can happen then what about other chemicals and hormones? Can they get kind of "caught" like that resulting in a build up of them? Or can it work conversely, that if you have a normal amount of a hormone introduced to your system it would get kind of held up there, resulting in it being less effective? There seems to be some support for that theory online as well. If it's true then what it could mean is normal amounts of testosterone might actually have less effect in an overweight body than in a leaner one.

And finally, from personal experience I can say that once I started working out my sexual drive and energy and inclination came right back - and I think increased (which is a scary thought). Part of that might be due to the wonderful endorphins released when working out and the overall general good feeling from it. Some of it might be from being in a better mental state and having a better body image now, and some might be from having less fat and more muscle mass and maybe hormones are just zipping around in me now. All I know is that as my workouts progress, as I trim down more, as I'm finding hey look I can do 200 crunches or gee you know I think I need to move up to a heavier hand weight for my exercises... as I start to feel stronger and healthier I WANT to have sex more.

[Qandisa Senior Member Member of the Month March 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Qandisa]

Oh something else I was going to say and then got distracted:
Good idea on the giving up pot. Every single guy that I've been with that's a routine pot smoker either has a problem maintaining an erection or can't get a 2nd one and is only good for one round. And yet none of them seem to think that it's at all pot-related because hey pot makes them relaxed and mellow so it can't possibly be contributing to that, right?

[TheEros Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close TheEros]

Thank you both for the advice. Just knowing that others can comprehend the problem helps a lot. I will continue to work on being healthier and loosing weight. I pushed myself at the gym today more so then I usually do and it feels good to have done so.

Yeah, you know I was never really one to be interested in pot. I do however have an addictive personality and this passed school year when one of my friends was always smoking.. I just sort of picked it up.

Thanks again for the advice.

[Mr Free T Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Mr Free T]

It seems like there is so much information on this site and that is absolutely fantastic but as I read more and more I can't help but feel a bit overwhelmed. I keep having second thoughts about what my problem might be and what I can do to fix it and so I decided that I might as well post directly asking for help. I hope this is not against the rules, I did search around a bit to see if I could find my answers elsewhere.

I am a (almost) 25 years old, 6 feet tall, and currently 260 pounds. I was about 270 but I have started honestly attempting to be healthier and get in better shape. I have always been a sexual person and kind of kinky but in the past two or so years I have been having some trouble. I don't have the sexual drive and urges that I used to and over all everything in life just feels "less". Less exciting, less hopeful, less fun. I was having some trouble with an ex girlfriend a few years ago and so I started taking cialis but I hate it. I used to be a chronic masturbate, I would masturbate every night before bed since I was about 11 or 12 and only very recently stopped due to my sex drive vanishing and my erections feeling smaller and weaker.
I when I would flex my penis (My understanding of what a kegal basically is) I would feel the bottom of me penis. As if there was some sort of wall there that I could feel when I flexed but although my penis still moves slightly when I kegal i don't feel that under part anymore.

I am not sure what my problem is. On one hand I think (and hope) that I have just been depressed for a few years and its having an effect on my sex drive and that is having an effect on my penis. Another theory that I have is that I am just overweight and my body is not working properly do to that. My last main theory is that I just masturbated too much and broke my penis.. which if that is the case than I don't know how I am going to live the rest of my life. I also went through this phase a few years ago where I would take a bunch of excedrin pm to help me sleep and this past school semester I did smoke more pot then I ever had before and so the hypochondriac in me does worry that perhaps I have some sort of brain damage and that would explain my decreased libido.

The things I have done to try to fix my problem are as follows:
Four times a week I go to the gym and use an elliptical machine for 30 minuets and follow that up by doing some basic machines like the chest fly machine.
I have stopped masturbating for the most part.
I take ZMA every night before bed
I take the 5 Gs
I have stopped smoking pot and am seriously thinking of stopping drinking even though I only do that once a week at most.

I just want to feel like I used to. I want to have the "fire" back and I want to have the mind blowing sex that I once did. If I can't get it back then I honestly don't know how I can go on in life. I don't mean to sound over dramatic but as I said, I have always been a sexual person and without that in my life.. Life just is not the same

I appreciate any at all help anyone can give.

Hi,

I'm sorry to hear you are having these problems - I've been there. It sucks. I'd say the good news is in your case it definitely sounds like you can fix this problem pretty quickly with some dietary changes. Having large amount of body fat does two things:

- It constricts your blood vessels making the rush of blood required for an erection a lot harder for your body to fulfill.

- Body fat contains an enzyme called "Aromatase". It takes testosterone and turns it into estrogen. Testosterone is really responsible for libido, energy, arousal (as well as just general happiness for many people). Estrogen on the other hand tends to make people feel sluggish, tired, uninterested in sex. So if your body fat is turning all your testosterone into estrogen it can make you loose your libido pretty quickly. That's a very simplified explanation but you get the point.

Anyway, that's how excess body fat can cause low libido and ED.

I would recommend that even better than going to the gym is changing your diet. The right diet will allow you to eat as much as you want in terms of quantity but still lose body fat (diets that make you limit how much you eat are based on really outdated beliefs about fat loss). You just have to know what food groups tend to make you fat. If you get the right diet you can lose fat steadily without even exercising a lot of the time, so any exercise you do is a bonus.

Let me know if you want more info on what the best diets to lose body fat are or any other info on your situation, it's not as difficult as you might think, and I've been there.

[corageon Banned Find all posts View Profile Close corageon]

Hi,

I'm sorry to hear you are having these problems - I've been there. It sucks. I'd say the good news is in your case it definitely sounds like you can fix this problem pretty quickly with some dietary changes. Having large amount of body fat does two things:

- It constricts your blood vessels making the rush of blood required for an erection a lot harder for your body to fulfill.

- Body fat contains an enzyme called "Aromatase". It takes testosterone and turns it into estrogen. Testosterone is really responsible for libido, energy, arousal (as well as just general happiness for many people). Estrogen on the other hand tends to make people feel sluggish, tired, uninterested in sex. So if your body fat is turning all your testosterone into estrogen it can make you loose your libido pretty quickly. That's a very simplified explanation but you get the point.

Anyway, that's how excess body fat can cause low libido and ED.

I would recommend that even better than going to the gym is changing your diet. The right diet will allow you to eat as much as you want in terms of quantity but still lose body fat (diets that make you limit how much you eat are based on really outdated beliefs about fat loss). You just have to know what food groups tend to make you fat. If you get the right diet you can lose fat steadily without even exercising a lot of the time, so any exercise you do is a bonus.

Let me know if you want more info on what the best diets to lose body fat are or any other info on your situation, it's not as difficult as you might think, and I've been there.

Absolutely true. Caloric Deficit's are actually unhealthy - and if anyone ever brings up the study that "Fasting increases Growth Hormone levels", I will slap the shit outta ya!

The best way is to ensure **quality** protein intake, proper hydration, avoid Soy, and eat more fruits/vegetables and superfoods.

This combined with exercise should result in a favorable hormone balance.

[TheEros Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close TheEros]

Hi,

I'm sorry to hear you are having these problems - I've been there. It sucks. I'd say the good news is in your case it definitely sounds like you can fix this problem pretty quickly with some dietary changes. Having large amount of body fat does two things:

- It constricts your blood vessels making the rush of blood required for an erection a lot harder for your body to fulfill.

- Body fat contains an enzyme called "Aromatase". It takes testosterone and turns it into estrogen. Testosterone is really responsible for libido, energy, arousal (as well as just general happiness for many people). Estrogen on the other hand tends to make people feel sluggish, tired, uninterested in sex. So if your body fat is turning all your testosterone into estrogen it can make you loose your libido pretty quickly. That's a very simplified explanation but you get the point.

Anyway, that's how excess body fat can cause low libido and ED.

I would recommend that even better than going to the gym is changing your diet. The right diet will allow you to eat as much as you want in terms of quantity but still lose body fat (diets that make you limit how much you eat are based on really outdated beliefs about fat loss). You just have to know what food groups tend to make you fat. If you get the right diet you can lose fat steadily without even exercising a lot of the time, so any exercise you do is a bonus.

Let me know if you want more info on what the best diets to lose body fat are or any other info on your situation, it's not as difficult as you might think, and I've been there.

I am willing to take all the help and information I can get! Thanks!

[corageon Banned Find all posts View Profile Close corageon]

I am willing to take all the help and information I can get! Thanks!

I recommend eating fish or seafood 2-3 times a week if possible.
I also recommend eating nuts and avoiding soy.
Get at least 100 g / protein / day.
Carbs should come from fruits and vegetables. Avoid heavy amounts of pasta and cakey goods ; including bread.

Eat greek yogurt and ensure acidophilus intake and / or replacement.

Eat low-moderate amounts of fiber...too much fiber will lower testosterone.

Get a decent amount of cholesterol = drink whole milk if possible.

Don't be afraid to eat red meat; it contains creatine and high amounts of methionine which can help sustain enzymes necessary for steroid hormone production.

[MrsLooking4more Retired Super Moderator Member of the Month Feb 2013PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrsLooking4more]

Hi,

I'm sorry to hear you are having these problems - I've been there. It sucks. I'd say the good news is in your case it definitely sounds like you can fix this problem pretty quickly with some dietary changes. Having large amount of body fat does two things:

- It constricts your blood vessels making the rush of blood required for an erection a lot harder for your body to fulfill.

- Body fat contains an enzyme called "Aromatase". It takes testosterone and turns it into estrogen. Testosterone is really responsible for libido, energy, arousal (as well as just general happiness for many people). Estrogen on the other hand tends to make people feel sluggish, tired, uninterested in sex. So if your body fat is turning all your testosterone into estrogen it can make you loose your libido pretty quickly. That's a very simplified explanation but you get the point.

Anyway, that's how excess body fat can cause low libido and ED.

I would recommend that even better than going to the gym is changing your diet. The right diet will allow you to eat as much as you want in terms of quantity but still lose body fat (diets that make you limit how much you eat are based on really outdated beliefs about fat loss). You just have to know what food groups tend to make you fat. If you get the right diet you can lose fat steadily without even exercising a lot of the time, so any exercise you do is a bonus.

Let me know if you want more info on what the best diets to lose body fat are or any other info on your situation, it's not as difficult as you might think, and I've been there.

+1

[Mr Free T Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Mr Free T]

I am willing to take all the help and information I can get! Thanks!

Okay, for now let's just say your goal with your diet is to steadily lose body fat. Depending on how prone your body is to gaining weight, or how "fast" or "slow" your metabolism is, you may have to make a few dietary changes, or you may only have to make one or two. Either way, the first change you should make is this:

Start reducing the amount of refined carbohydrates you eat. Refined carbohydrates are the biggest contributor to body fat, hands down.

What are refined carbs?

Once you do a little reading on the subject and practice your diet you'll know pretty instinctively what they are. Basically they are in
- anything that is doughy
- anything made from grains like flour wheat, rice, oats, buckwheat, corn tortillas, pasta etc
- sugar (from fruit and candy equally)
- white and brown rice
- white potatoes (they're a sneaky source)

Beans are not a problem. Legumes and lentils are not a problem either.

Here's a list: Refined carbohydrate list » Diagnosis: Diet

Obviously that's a lot of foods and some are really hard to avoid. My advice would be start off by changing one or two major meals a day and getting rid of refined carbs.

For example: if you're eating oatmeal for breakfast, change your breakfast to bacon, eggs, spinach and baked beans (get the kind of baked beans without added sugar if possible)

Generally you want to replace these refined carbs with either beans and legumes or meat or veges (mexican food is great for beans, meat and veges just go easy on the tortillas - refined carbohydrates from corn in them).

You may find that even after changing just breakfast you shed a few pounds. Then you just keep getting rid of carbs as you feel comfortable.

Once you know what you're looking for, certain meals will probably stick out in your mind as very carby. For example if you're eating pasta every night, it's sort of like "oh, there's the culprit".

Anyway I hope that helps lemme know if you want more help or if you're still having trouble losing weight. Keep at the gym as it will speed the whole process up I'm sure.

I have a website with a guide to the diet I used to restore sexual function all written down but I dunno if I'm allowed to link to outside stuff publicly.

[TheEros Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close TheEros]

Thanks again for all the advice everyone. I am working of changing me eating habits which is hard enough as it is to cut out guilty pleasures but it seems like I have some more work to do. It seems easier to cut out a lot of carbs, I can buy spinach wraps and use that. Will having so much fish make me at risk for any kind of illness?

So far what seems to have helped me the most is actually not masturbating. My penis feels healthier, it hangs longer, and my sex drive while not back to pre (whatever this crap is) levels was very apparent.