Sexual Performance Anxiety and Porn Induced ED

[mistercrowley Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close mistercrowley]

I just wanted to see if there is anyone else out there who has gotten over/is getting over sexual performance anxiety and/or porn induced ED. If so what things have you been doing that have yielded positive results? I am, thankfully, on the upswing now after months of therapy, trial and error, sensate focus touch, mindfulness meditaion, yoga and adding a PE regimen to my daily routine and most importantly kicking the porn addiction. Has anyone else had successful results with any of these and is there any other tips you can give me.

A couple years ago I would have told you that I don't believe the mind could have such an influence over an erection but that was then. I'm just glad right now that things are starting to work right again.

[mistercrowley Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close mistercrowley]

Oh, I forgot to mention...and a kick-ass wife with the patience of a saint!

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

People get better all the time getting rid of porn. You can as well. By the quality of the posts you have written I think you already know what to do.

[corageon Banned Find all posts View Profile Close corageon]

I just wanted to see if there is anyone else out there who has gotten over/is getting over sexual performance anxiety and/or porn induced ED. If so what things have you been doing that have yielded positive results? I am, thankfully, on the upswing now after months of therapy, trial and error, sensate focus touch, mindfulness meditaion, yoga and adding a PE regimen to my daily routine and most importantly kicking the porn addiction. Has anyone else had successful results with any of these and is there any other tips you can give me.

A couple years ago I would have told you that I don't believe the mind could have such an influence over an erection but that was then. I'm just glad right now that things are starting to work right again.

You've been making assertive statements since you got here - I think you already know the answer...look within yourself my friend.

[Big Al AdministratorPEGym EditorMale Enhancement Coach Rep.PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Big Al]

Please feel free to check out the following article on this subject: The Detraining Effect: Understanding and Reversing Negative Habits To Improve Erection Quality and Sexual Confidence

[dmizzle Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close dmizzle]

This might now harsh, but when I learned that I'm the man and Im gonna fuck the hell out of this girl my anxiety went away. When Im unsure, I don't ED exactly, but definitely not as hard. Now, I act like I own these women, which I do, I have much better EQ. Confidence bro.

[Gym1 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Gym1]

I'm having problems with ED + sexual performance anxiety. Actually, now it's not anymore sexual performance anxiety but fear of "will I get an erection?".
My GF wasn't really patient in the begining (ED was new thing to her..) but she's still here after numerous fails (and succesess when using some kind of viagra). Anyway.. I still have anxiety and fear of sex.
I know it's connected with confidence. After first few fails, my overall confidence got lost but when I accepted the problem, I got it again, I'm more relaxed in my life but still, when I start to kiss and touch with my GF, I'm too much concentrated on my erection and not enough relaxed which then results with no full erection :/
I know that my mind should be positive.. something like dmizzle wrote: "Im gonna fuck the hell out of this girl" but when the moment of kissing/touching comes, I can't keep being relaxed and stop thinking about erection..

Any tips are welcome...

[masturbation101 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close masturbation101]

Have you tried Kegel exercises or to be more precise JP90 challenge...

[Big Al AdministratorPEGym EditorMale Enhancement Coach Rep.PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Big Al]

I'm having problems with ED + sexual performance anxiety. Actually, now it's not anymore sexual performance anxiety but fear of "will I get an erection?".
My GF wasn't really patient in the begining (ED was new thing to her..) but she's still here after numerous fails (and succesess when using some kind of viagra). Anyway.. I still have anxiety and fear of sex.
I know it's connected with confidence. After first few fails, my overall confidence got lost but when I accepted the problem, I got it again, I'm more relaxed in my life but still, when I start to kiss and touch with my GF, I'm too much concentrated on my erection and not enough relaxed which then results with no full erection :/
I know that my mind should be positive.. something like dmizzle wrote: "Im gonna fuck the hell out of this girl" but when the moment of kissing/touching comes, I can't keep being relaxed and stop thinking about erection..

Any tips are welcome...

Are there sexual activities that you can engage in that don't trigger your anxieties? Are you performing any stamina training?

[Gym1 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Gym1]

Have you tried Kegel exercises or to be more precise JP90 challenge...

I'm doing kegels for the past several days. Didn't try JP90 challenge.

Are there sexual activities that you can engage in that don't trigger your anxieties? Are you performing any stamina training?

Well, any sexual activity starts with kissing/touching and after short time, I'm "lost".. start to analyze everything while I should just feel the pleasure of the moment.
If I cuddle with my GF and think there won't be sex, I'm much more relaxed, don't think about stuff and my erection is better (still not how I want it to be but I'm working on that too in my own thread..)

What do you mean by stamina training?

[masturbation101 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close masturbation101]

A thing technique used to do is think of something that gets you aroused and keep doing Kegels and that out to help a lot!!

[Big Al AdministratorPEGym EditorMale Enhancement Coach Rep.PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Big Al]

Well, any sexual activity starts with kissing/touching and after short time, I'm "lost".. start to analyze everything while I should just feel the pleasure of the moment.
If I cuddle with my GF and think there won't be sex, I'm much more relaxed, don't think about stuff and my erection is better (still not how I want it to be but I'm working on that too in my own thread..)

What do you mean by stamina training?

By "stamina training", I'm referring to kegels and edging/Stop and Starts. Are you focusing on improving your powers if visualization during stamina training?

It might help if you restricted yourself to the activities you know won't cause you stress. Attempt to get a little farther as your comfort level allows. Having an understanding partner can be very beneficial in helping you to restore your potency.

Another tip- avoid ANY extraneous masturbation. Leave your ejaculations for training and subsequent sexual activity so that your libido is given a chance to assert itself.

[Gym1 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Gym1]

By "stamina training", I'm referring to kegels and edging/Stop and Starts. Are you focusing on improving your powers if visualization during stamina training?

It might help if you restricted yourself to the activities you know won't cause you stress. Attempt to get a little farther as your comfort level allows. Having an understanding partner can be very beneficial in helping you to restore your potency.

Another tip- avoid ANY extraneous masturbation. Leave your ejaculations for training and subsequent sexual activity so that your libido is given a chance to assert itself.

I'm doing kegels and some shorter kind of edging for the past several years when masturbating.
I wasn't doing much of visualization. How can I improve that?

What do you mean by extraneous masturbation? Masturbation when I'm not aroused?

[mistercrowley Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close mistercrowley]

One thing I suggest you look into is Sensate Focus Touch. There's different variations but this takes all the pressure off, I promise. It's almost like going back to first dating again. You're only allowed to do so much. While doing the different phases you should concentrate on how the touch feels, not on how your erection is doing. Another thing if you don't do it yet is mindfulness meditation. There's an app for your phone called Stop Breath Think that will guide you through that entire process. Like some others have mentioned you have to go into it without the expectation of orgasming or sex or even an erection. When you start taking your focus off the erection it will come naturally.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnlG-3SfGkY

[mistercrowley Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close mistercrowley]

All that being said I did have one fail and one success this weekend.

Saturday morning, after my wife and I have had 3 or 4 good experiences we went into it with the expectation of having sex. Because I went into it with that mentality I was focused on my erection right from the beginning. Needless to say things did not work out very well. I was concentrating on staying hard so when she went to touch me I couldn't keep an erection. I could sense the frustration on her and then it was a total crash and burn.

Sunday however we went into it starting with kissing in the kitchen, then grinding up on each other, then taking off clothes and then doing it right there on the kitchen floor. No problems at all.

I'm pretty certain now that it has to be natural, spontaneous, fun and not forced. The moment it is forced it no longer becomes fun. For me that's the difference right now between a success and a fail.