Urgent ED Help Needed; 20 Years Old

[JT257 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close JT257]

My name is Jake, and im 20 years old. I need to know what is wrong with me. From birth until I was 18, I had not one erection problem. I got a girlfriend senior year of high school, and could not get an erection with her for the first 4 months, with even Cialis and Viagra sometimes not working. After about 5 months, the issues went away and I am hard anytime in her presence and am working on all cylinders. We've been off and on the past months, and I have starting seeing another girl, who when I am hanging out with and doing sexual things leading up to sex, I cannot get hard in the least bit. Even with taking Cialis prior, my penis is just dead. Long story short, I don't know where to turn and im praying you guys could give me some answers. Here is a little more details and back story on the problem:

- I have gained 15 lbs of muscle over the past year, so low testosterone is not the issue (Also have had medical tests done which came back 100% normal)
-I have a strict workout schedule and a well balanced diet (drink only water, no junk food at all)
-I have not gotten consistent morning wood for about 2 years now
-I frequently watch porn and have for the last year
-My libido is at an all time low, rarely ever being horny
-My flaccid penis seems to more times than not be shriveled and smaller than normal
-Although I could not get hard with the other girls, anytime I see or am with my ex, I am immediately hard and ready to go, which leads me to believe my issues aren't physical or due to porn

Now also, me and this girl have had a very tumultuous relationship. Constant fighting, anger, the whole nine, we basically stayed together because the physical attraction is so strong. Now since my penis works fine EVERY time I am with her, that leads me to believe it is not a physical problem or due to porn, because if so it would be ALL the time, not just with someone but her. What im thinking in my uneducated opinion is that it could be a few things:

-Mental (Although I doubt it because why would my flaccid penis be smaller, as well as morning wood go away and libido lowering?)
-Too much use of porn (The "NoFap" movement is very popular, but I am hesitant to try because again, if this was the case I wouldn't be able to get hard with my ex)
-Stress from the relationship (We fought constantly and im not 110% over her, so maybe im so comfortable with her that its hurting me with others? But again, why the loss of morning wood and libido?)

Ive seen doctors, talked to my friends, and I am at my wits end. If anyone reading this has any idea, hunch, feeling, anything at all about a possible solution, I sincerely can use your help more than ever.

Thanks so much everyone. Heres to hoping I get some answers.
Jake

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

Yes it's all mental but since you have discounted that there's nothing I can do.

[FossilHead Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close FossilHead]

-Mental (Although I doubt it because why would my flaccid penis be smaller, as well as morning wood go away and libido lowering?)
-Too much use of porn (The "NoFap" movement is very popular, but I am hesitant to try because again, if this was the case I wouldn't be able to get hard with my ex)
-Stress from the relationship (We fought constantly and im not 110% over her, so maybe im so comfortable with her that its hurting me with others? But again, why the loss of morning wood and libido?)

Sounds to me as though you have already pinpointed 3 very likely areas of concern....are you currently taking steps to address each?

Since you indicated that lab results have shown no deficiencies in the common areas (I assume at least TSH, T3 and T4, test levels, cortisol, etc.), then the likely thing to consider is the mental angle, just as CUSP82 said.

[not2big Senior Super ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close not2big]

The more you get to know someone the more relaxed (less stress/over anticipation) you experience. EQ is directly influenced by stress.

[JT257 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close JT257]

I do think it could possibly be mental.. But what in the world would I do to address that? Also, why would it affect my libido and flaccid size? Over anticipation does kill me, though. Although if anything that should make me more prone to have an erection if I know im having sex..

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

When you get rid of the word 'possibly" then you can begin to heal, not that you really need healing. Your brain just needs to get readjusted.

[closed260 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close closed260]

Professional psychological help is one way to learn what is happening in your head and how you can either overcome it or learn to work around it.

One thing to do might be to try and identify what thoughts in your head preceed you feeling bad or stressed. Sometimes we don't know that our thoughts are making us sad/stressed/nervous/guilty/etc. until after we are there. In time, you can get better at "changing the course" of your thoughts away from ones that are inaccurate/exaggerations/unhelpful.

[Gym1 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Gym1]

What about overall stress? Maybe your cortisol is high? Or maybe dopamine is low... (I've read that it has something to do with the morning wood)
I guess pyhsically is everything fine since your EQ is ok when you are alone or with that one girl, but no morning wood is strange then.

[Cavalier Retired Super Moderator Member of the Month Feb 2015PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Cavalier]

I have a bit of advice for you. If you are able to get an erection under certain situations then drop the cialis and viagra. It will do nothing for the problem you are experiencing and at your age it is likely to do you more harm then good.

[dmizzle Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close dmizzle]

First, quit the porn for 3 months, see how you feel. Stop jerking off and just edge for 3 months. Cum only once or twice a week. You workout so that's a good start. To be honest with you, I'm 38 and feel very similar. No sex drive at all unless I take something. But I definitely think this is related to your Ex in some way. If you can get hard with her and not others, you need to remove her from your life/thoughts.

So no porn, only edge, remove Ex from your mind.

[marinera Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close marinera]

It's performance anxiety.

[Saskman Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Saskman]

the lack of morning erections for two years is a real concern. until i read that, i would have figured you were dealing with stress or whatever, psychological. however, lack of morning erections is a serious implication that should be investigated.

as for testosterone, it effects everyone differently. some people with low t have sex all the time without problem, while those people may never have been able to gain a pound of muscle in their life.

do you do cycling?

i suggest you see a medical professional such as a urologist

[gsp123 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close gsp123]

First, quit the porn for 3 months, see how you feel. Stop jerking off and just edge for 3 months. Cum only once or twice a week. You workout so that's a good start. To be honest with you, I'm 38 and feel very similar. No sex drive at all unless I take something. But I definitely think this is related to your Ex in some way. If you can get hard with her and not others, you need to remove her from your life/thoughts.

So no porn, only edge, remove Ex from your mind.

I am going to start a reboot again because porn and mast is affecting my sex life , I have done some 1+ month streaks but it reaches to a point like my last time where my libido shuts completely down and I have no desire for sex with my GF whatsoever .... do you think edging like 3 times week without ejaculating ( only doing it with GF ) will help with libido ? because on the NOFAP foruns they really are against edging .... they say flatlining is part of the reboot .... but I can't just flatline for months , sure it's fine for those without a girlfriend but those with one will feel like shit because of performance issues , and erection issues because of the flatlining / no libido