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The same busted bubble of insecurity and anxiety that got me started on PE made me wish to improve my body overall.
First the backstory - I've been a fat kid since school started. Maybe it was a puberty thing, although that seems unlikely, as I was a very late bloomer, and most still guess that I'm way younger than I really am.
Being 6' in highschool and lifting weights for 2 years, I was over 220 pounds (100 kilos). Nothing I tried could get the fat off, running, swimming.
When I started going to college I moved out and started living alone. I experimented with my diet and excluded all simple sugar, I stopped going to the gym as well and in the first half a year I lost about 44 pounds (20 kilos). I clearly lost some fat and likely all the built up muscle mass.
But the weight loss stopped there then. I was still fat looking, but I didn't care so much.
This summer I decided to change myself for the better, started regulating my diet: no sugar again, 3 meals a day, oatmeal with bananas, eggs, celery for breakfast, no red meats, just bird and fish, steamed vegetables often, no tea or coffee and certainly no alcohol, although I quickly got my pot brewed green tea back on the list.
I also started having interval runs about 2 or 3 times a week, my job didn't allow me to do it more often. I ran for about 40 minutes and added some exercises along the way, like pull ups or going back home to the eight floor on stairs.
In less than two months I dropped another 22 pounds (10 kilos). I got to a stable 165 pounds mark and stopped for a while, maybe a month or a little more. My clothes didn't fit me anymore, my pants were falling down, my XL shirts were so baggy now and everyone told me I was looking unhealthy and less manly, than before, no positive comments, even from my SO.
Along with the insecurity I also started noticing things like thin bony fingers, small feet, all of which may or may not relate to a skinny penis. It was new to me as I always looked as myself as a big brute.
I fell ill with a common virus not long ago, three weeks, maybe. At that point I fell out of the newly set routine. It was too cold for running, and I got too lazy to control my diet, I got back to junk food as well. Along with a regular checkup I did a blood analysis as everyone was concerned if the illness could be weight loss caused. The results came out perfect.
To my mind I am still fat looking, saggy belly, saggy tits, underarms, loose skin. I didn't plan on going any further though. But yesterday I noticed I had dropped another 7 pounds, despite all the lazyness and junkfood, which has started to worry me. What have I started and how the hell do I stop this?
Can this be caused by the same reason I haven't gained anything with PE for the first couple of months?
First the backstory - I've been a fat kid since school started. Maybe it was a puberty thing, although that seems unlikely, as I was a very late bloomer, and most still guess that I'm way younger than I really am.
Being 6' in highschool and lifting weights for 2 years, I was over 220 pounds (100 kilos). Nothing I tried could get the fat off, running, swimming.
When I started going to college I moved out and started living alone. I experimented with my diet and excluded all simple sugar, I stopped going to the gym as well and in the first half a year I lost about 44 pounds (20 kilos). I clearly lost some fat and likely all the built up muscle mass.
But the weight loss stopped there then. I was still fat looking, but I didn't care so much.
This summer I decided to change myself for the better, started regulating my diet: no sugar again, 3 meals a day, oatmeal with bananas, eggs, celery for breakfast, no red meats, just bird and fish, steamed vegetables often, no tea or coffee and certainly no alcohol, although I quickly got my pot brewed green tea back on the list.
I also started having interval runs about 2 or 3 times a week, my job didn't allow me to do it more often. I ran for about 40 minutes and added some exercises along the way, like pull ups or going back home to the eight floor on stairs.
In less than two months I dropped another 22 pounds (10 kilos). I got to a stable 165 pounds mark and stopped for a while, maybe a month or a little more. My clothes didn't fit me anymore, my pants were falling down, my XL shirts were so baggy now and everyone told me I was looking unhealthy and less manly, than before, no positive comments, even from my SO.
Along with the insecurity I also started noticing things like thin bony fingers, small feet, all of which may or may not relate to a skinny penis. It was new to me as I always looked as myself as a big brute.
I fell ill with a common virus not long ago, three weeks, maybe. At that point I fell out of the newly set routine. It was too cold for running, and I got too lazy to control my diet, I got back to junk food as well. Along with a regular checkup I did a blood analysis as everyone was concerned if the illness could be weight loss caused. The results came out perfect.
To my mind I am still fat looking, saggy belly, saggy tits, underarms, loose skin. I didn't plan on going any further though. But yesterday I noticed I had dropped another 7 pounds, despite all the lazyness and junkfood, which has started to worry me. What have I started and how the hell do I stop this?
Can this be caused by the same reason I haven't gained anything with PE for the first couple of months?
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