Post sex over analysis and anxiety

[Jameson26 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Jameson26]

Weirdly enough I’ve learned to be happy with my size and my wife asked I don’t perform penis enlargement though she was ok with me working on my time until ejaculation and last night I was finally able to reap that benefit and lasted so long she believes she had a vaginal orgasm on top of the clitoral orgasm and I didn’t even ejaculate before we were both exhausted. So yea pat on the back for me.

But that brings me to the problem after every session I cannot seem to help but be anxious about my performance ask my wife a bunch of questions about sex to the point she gets annoyed.

Even after last nights great sex I still wondered why it was only great not amazing?

I wondered if it was true she had never had a vaginal orgasm because logically and numbers wise it is highly unlikely.

And for some reason I’m still generally insecure about my performance and have no idea why.

Thanks for any thoughts and I’m sorry if anyone feels bad because of what I’ve said or feels like I’m bragging not exactly my intention.

[closed251 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close closed251]

I would normally say always be open in a relationship but in your case I honestly would say keep your post match analysing to yourself. Tho I'm no expert.

Her answers are never going quell your fears in your mind. You need to do that for yourself.

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

No one nowadays just wants to simply enjoy something.Oh well.

[Jameson26 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Jameson26]

Thanks for the help it started well meaning almost like business analysis to make it more efficient and pleasurable as well as to ensure consistent pleasure for her and has mutated into something not so good.

I am actively working in my own mind but figured I’d post in this forum to see if anyone has similar struggles.

And unfortunately I do have a hard time just enjoying something with no feedback or thought but am trying to learn from my wife who is a highly emotional and grey area person to embrace my more free side

[Jameson26 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Jameson26]

I broke this habit by 1. Getting the concrete numbers on my size to know where I stand
2. Remembering my wife’s past is the past.
3. Having my wife tell me the best and worst thing after sex one of each without prompting
4. Explaining to my wife the burden is on her to communicate if anything needs to be changed so I don’t constantly obsess and wonder.

Seems to work for me and boy does it make sex a lot more relaxing.

[incogneeetoe Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2017*Special Appreciated Moderator Nov. 2021* PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close incogneeetoe]

I think that great sex takes work, but amazing sex has to just happen.

As a lover we can do exercise and plan ahead and so on. Do what we can to pleasure our partner. If the partner brings the same attitude, then great sex happens. But for it to go into that amazing zone we need to be able to let go and not over analyze or micro manage.

[compass Member Find all posts View Profile Close compass]

I broke this habit by 1. Getting the concrete numbers on my size to know where I stand
2. Remembering my wife’s past is the past.
3. Having my wife tell me the best and worst thing after sex one of each without prompting
4. Explaining to my wife the burden is on her to communicate if anything needs to be changed so I don’t constantly obsess and wonder.

Seems to work for me and boy does it make sex a lot more relaxing.

There’s some good advice there.
Maybe don’t use the word burden but instead say feedback.
I too over analyse and will use some of these.

[jp87 Member Find all posts View Profile Close jp87]

I broke this habit by 1. Getting the concrete numbers on my size to know where I stand
2. Remembering my wife’s past is the past.
3. Having my wife tell me the best and worst thing after sex one of each without prompting
4. Explaining to my wife the burden is on her to communicate if anything needs to be changed so I don’t constantly obsess and wonder.

Seems to work for me and boy does it make sex a lot more relaxing.

Can you elaborate on number 1?