Problem with girlfriend!!!!! Please help ....

[EQKing Banned Find all posts View Profile Close EQKing]

By the way i am currently doing my Masters In Business Administration ....

[Quirky One-Eye Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Quirky One-Eye]

Hi Quirky One-Eye,
I agree with what you are telling me in this post .... I have some growing up to do .... There were conversations between us where she told me that i don't really know what love is and that i will leave her one day when i find someone younger .... She told me that she has a lot of things to deal with in life.Her work and her son and how to survive from day to day whereas for me all i had to think of was my studies and love,love,love.That's what she told me.She said that my life was easy right now as i don't make a living on my own and supported by my parents.She told me that's the reason why you are so focused on love because you don't have much responsibilities.I live right now on the allowance my parents send me and she's working.She told me there's a big difference in that.She told me many times that i don't know what's going on in her life at her age and experience and i was like " I know common " (Not in an arrogant manner but in a firm manner).So i get what you are telling me and it sounds true to me.She even had a good laugh when she realized that both her son and i were students .... and she was reminding herself that there's only 6 years difference between her son and me .... I know what you mean by she viewing me like her son .... Sometimes she jokes and tells me that she is my mother.I rebuff it that moment and tell her that she is my girl and that i already have a mom and that i don't need a second one(In a humourous manner). She always complains when i leave the bathroom floor wet,when i don't hang the towels,when i shut the bathroom door hard,when i don't keep my clothes neat,when i don't brush my teeth at night before going to sleep,when i don't shower before i go to sleep,when i don't cut my nails,when i apply hair cream the wrong way,when i wear my watch a certain way,when i wear my shirts wrinkly etc .... I am trying to improve though ....

I didn't say she viewed you "like her son" -- I said she likely sometimes views you as A CHILD and is reminded of this because of your nearness in age to her son.

Big difference.

Also, there simply IS a whole world of difference between living off one's parents (NOT saying it's wrong, I plan to encourage it in my own son while he's in school) and living on one's own for better or worse... between being a child and raising a child... between security and insecurity.

Even in that paragraph you posted, before ever you said a word about HER thoughts on love, I was thinking "Geez, this guy sure seems worried about LOVE all the time!" Lo and behold, you post in the same paragraph that these are her thoughts as well.

When she's telling you that one day you'll find someone younger, she's both being honest about how she views the situation AND expressing her own insecurities. And try as you might, when you tell her the opposite ("I'll never leave you, baby, I LOVE you!") part of her wants to believe because those things are nice to hear, but part of her knows better. 12 years difference is quite a bit, no matter how much we want to tell ourselves "age ain't nothin' but a number".

When she jokes about being your mother, it's the same thing: Part truth, part insecurity talking aloud.

When she gets on you for being a slob, two things: First, you're old enough to NOT be a slob, so knock that garbage off; second, it's that age difference talking, she's old enough to be set in her ways more than you realize at YOUR age.

[EQKing Banned Find all posts View Profile Close EQKing]

I didn't say she viewed you "like her son" -- I said she likely sometimes views you as A CHILD and is reminded of this because of your nearness in age to her son.

Big difference.

Also, there simply IS a whole world of difference between living off one's parents (NOT saying it's wrong, I plan to encourage it in my own son while he's in school) and living on one's own for better or worse... between being a child and raising a child... between security and insecurity.

Even in that paragraph you posted, before ever you said a word about HER thoughts on love, I was thinking "Geez, this guy sure seems worried about LOVE all the time!" Lo and behold, you post in the same paragraph that these are her thoughts as well.

When she's telling you that one day you'll find someone younger, she's both being honest about how she views the situation AND expressing her own insecurities. And try as you might, when you tell her the opposite ("I'll never leave you, baby, I LOVE you!") part of her wants to believe because those things are nice to hear, but part of her knows better. 12 years difference is quite a bit, no matter how much we want to tell ourselves "age ain't nothin' but a number".

When she jokes about being your mother, it's the same thing: Part truth, part insecurity talking aloud.

When she gets on you for being a slob, two things: First, you're old enough to NOT be a slob, so knock that garbage off; second, it's that age difference talking, she's old enough to be set in her ways more than you realize at YOUR age.

I actually told her that " I will always love you. Even when you are 60 years old and i will never hurt your feelings and never leave you. " Tears started rolling down her eyes after that .... i do like her a lot trust me .... it's just that i have a lot of issues inside of me that i have to deal with first to let this relationship be a healthy one ....

[TheMagicStick Member Find all posts View Profile Close TheMagicStick]

I love the attention i used to get it was amazing i felt like the most special person in the world it is definitely sweet and u feel cared about and loved. But u see my girlfriend i didnt really go out with her and then all of a sudden her best friend got dumped then they started going out alot more then i did something silly over facebook then she said she needed some space for abit & she said she actually felt like she was living becasue she was going out more. Ive even asked to take her out since but the question why do u wanna take me out now?.....& im not sure how to answer that.

EDIT:On facebook she even put up im single and its gonna take someone pretty special to change that. So im pretty much done for :P

[EQKing Banned Find all posts View Profile Close EQKing]

I love the attention i used to get it was amazing i felt like the most special person in the world it is definitely sweet and u feel cared about and loved. But u see my girlfriend i didnt really go out with her and then all of a sudden her best friend got dumped then they started going out alot more then i did something silly over facebook then she said she needed some space for abit & she said she actually felt like she was living becasue she was going out more. Ive even asked to take her out since but the question why do u wanna take me out now?.....& im not sure how to answer that.

EDIT:On facebook she even put up im single and its gonna take someone pretty special to change that. So im pretty much done for :P

Sorry to hear that TheMagicStick,
I am getting pretty frustrated myself at the moment .... She would always call up and find out how i was and stuff .... we'd always meet each other .... since her problems started she told me that we wouldn't be meeting too often till it gets resolved .... we've met for a while since her troubles but now it's no contact for the past 9 days .... just 1 two calls here and there .... She's an honest person(Not the most honest) because there are times when she's not in the mood to have sex and she tells me that .... Most women would just give excuses .... so i guess i have to stick it out and believe what she's telling me .... My worst fear is what if she is actually going out with someone else and leaving me in the dark by pretending to be in trouble .... that's the worst case scenario.If that happens to be true then i'll have to dump her .... i think she's genuinely in trouble .... i have to believe that .... let's see where this goes ....

[EQKing Banned Find all posts View Profile Close EQKing]

bump ....

[EQKing Banned Find all posts View Profile Close EQKing]

Feeling nostalgic at the moment .... too many chemicals are reacting within my body .... experiencing withdrawal symptoms!!!!

[EQKing Banned Find all posts View Profile Close EQKing]

I am planning to give her a call tomorrow .... let's see what happens ....

[EQKing Banned Find all posts View Profile Close EQKing]

So what do you suppose i do now Quirky One-Eyed? .... You seem to be an expert in this situation ....

[TheMagicStick Member Find all posts View Profile Close TheMagicStick]

EQ,

Yeah i think im going to give in and call her now im actually missing her like crazy now, she probably is too but is to stubborn to admit it.

She is the MOST STUBBORN LADY EVER.

[Batwoman Moderator ReservePEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Batwoman]

Nope, that's me.

[EQKing Banned Find all posts View Profile Close EQKing]

EQ,

Yeah i think im going to give in and call her now im actually missing her like crazy now, she probably is too but is to stubborn to admit it.

She is the MOST STUBBORN LADY EVER.

I know exactly how you feel TheMagicStick,
Just stick with it!!!! I think you should give her a call .... I won't be calling her today because last night at 3:38 am she gave me a surprise buzz .... We had a talk for 12 minutes and it was great .... I guess she called me because she knew that i wouldn't be sleeping and she missed me .... She told me about how things are going with her and asked me how i was .... She even told me about her problems .... So i guess it's going ok at the moment ....

[EQKing Banned Find all posts View Profile Close EQKing]

Nope, that's me.

Yeah that's Batwoman for you all ....

[TheMagicStick Member Find all posts View Profile Close TheMagicStick]

I know exactly how you feel TheMagicStick,
Just stick with it!!!! I think you should give her a call .... I won't be calling her today because last night at 3:38 am she gave me a surprise buzz .... We had a talk for 12 minutes and it was great .... I guess she called me because she knew that i wouldn't be sleeping and she missed me .... She told me about how things are going with her and asked me how i was .... She even told me about her problems .... So i guess it's going ok at the moment ....

Yeah i just dont know if i have left it long enuff as we had a arguement on monday and i wonder if friday is to soon.

[EQKing Banned Find all posts View Profile Close EQKing]

Yeah i just dont know if i have left it long enuff as we had a arguement on monday and i wonder if friday is to soon.

How bad was the argument ? If it was a relationship threatening argument i say give it a week .... call her next monday ....