The Friend Zone

[closed251 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close closed251]

Men have many grievances against them, for example

Not the same level of support when raped or sexually assaulted as women
Unfair treatment in child custody battles
Expectations to be 'manly'
Expectations to provide enough if a partner doesn't want to work and raise children
Not the same level of support when a victim of domestic abuse
And so....

but being 'put in' the friend zone isn't one of them. I think my friendship is actually worth something. I'm honest and loyal, times a little funny and always there.

This idea that men can't be friends with women unless they are trying to get into her pants needs to end. It's 2018 people!!

[Party Senior Member Member of the Month August 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Party]

Thanks for being my friend Tara. Somethings happened and I hope you are ok. XXOO.

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

Very smart girl... for a girl that is! Yes I know I'm gonna get in trouble!

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

This is not quite what guys mean when they say friend zone Tara . Or at least not what i mean .

I have always had female friends still do that is not an issue .

Being friendzoned though is a different matter . My normal response is just to avoid the girl and make her disappear out of my life . Usually not difficult a few minor things cross the road if i see her coming type stuff.

[Dontrike Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Dontrike]

The friend zone isn't about just being friends, but knowing that you can't go further in a relationship with that person. Honestly, it's no surprise that after being friend zoned someone wouldn't want to hang out with them, how many people make you feel bad and you want to hang out with them later as "friends"?

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

Look Tara if somone said to you something along this how would you react .

Look you are a wonderfull human being and you are the right age (yada yada) for a person i would date . You are such a great person i really want to be friends but the thought of sex with you euuuuu.

[TheGreatDivider Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close TheGreatDivider]

The only guys who don't appreciate having female friends are "nice guys" and neckbeards who aren't really worth having a relationship anyways. But most guys who have respect for themselves and aren't completely socially inept understand they you can have girlfriends and friends who are girls without trying to have sex with their female friends.

I don't know about what you're going through, Tara, but I love having platonic female friends. I need someone to decode all the goofy stuff my girl is doing in a relationship and spend time with someone who isn't her all the time. Married men need female friends too. Fuck what the wife thinks, you need to have women in your life or you will go crazy and lose everything women respect about you, like your patience or your figure.

[Dontrike Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Dontrike]

The only guys who don't appreciate having female friends are "nice guys" and neckbeards who aren't really worth having a relationship anyways.

Who are these "neck beards" and ""nice guys""? Or is this one of those vague labels that are supposed to be insulting to some random group that isn't here?

But most guys who have respect for themselves and aren't completely socially inept understand they you can have girlfriends and friends who are girls without trying to have sex with their female friends.

Yeah, it's possible for men and women to be friends, it's also possible to win the lottery. Sexual feelings happen all the time even if you don't want them to and things can get messy.

I have a female friend, but good god if that isn't essentially a miracle. We had a relationship-ish esque thing going and however we remained friends is beyond me. I've never met this person, but I consider her one of my closest friends (by your logic I'm a "neck beard"), but HO.LY. SHIT. That thing is so rare to happen it might as well be finding a diamond in the New York City dump. I normally don't trust women, I have my own experiences that show me that trying to be friends with them or treat them well only ends in abuse.

It might be my bias, and I fully admit I have it, but it's near improbable for men and women to be friends. Sooner or later they end up fucking or some other bullshit happens and things get confusing and the friendship, or whatever else it is, ends.

[TheZZMan Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2018PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close TheZZMan]

i am an adult in an established neighborhood and have a ton of female aquaintaces. None of them I have any sexual tendency or desire in any way. They are just sort of the regular crew that gets together from time to time. I see no reason to not have friendships with other females. They can be just as entertaining as your guy friends.

The Friend zone thing is when a gut wants to get with a girl and is softly rejected. Should be a hint to the guy to seek a relationship elsewhere, but an acknowledgement that the girl doesn't hate you and still wants to hang. Not a complicated concept. Part of the dating attempts and inline with the fact that not all are compatible on an intimate level.

Some guys need to take rejection with a grain of salt. You did nothing wrong, just the girl was the wrong target for your passions. Soldier on and find another.

[closed251 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close closed251]

This is not quite what guys mean when they say friend zone Tara . Or at least not what i mean .

I have always had female friends still do that is not an issue .

Being friendzoned though is a different matter . My normal response is just to avoid the girl and make her disappear out of my life . Usually not difficult a few minor things cross the road if i see her coming type stuff.

But this what I mean and it's annoying. So you have female friends that you wouldn't want sexual relations with and that's fine. But they might feel sexual attraction to you. But they cope with it and still keep you as a friend.

I've never heard of a women being rejected sexually by man and then dropping there friendship. Now I'm sure it's happened but definitely not on the same scale.

[closed251 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close closed251]

The friend zone isn't about just being friends, but knowing that you can't go further in a relationship with that person. Honestly, it's no surprise that after being friend zoned someone wouldn't want to hang out with them, how many people make you feel bad and you want to hang out with them later as "friends"?

But why does it make the person feel bad. It might not be the right time or they might have feelings for another etc. It's no reflection on you if your friend zoned. Surely if you like some one enough to fuck and put effort in getting to know them, you would want to keep them as a friend? I seriously don't get.

[closed251 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close closed251]

Look Tara if somone said to you something along this how would you react .

Look you are a wonderfull human being and you are the right age (yada yada) for a person i would date . You are such a great person i really want to be friends but the thought of sex with you euuuuu.

I would be fine with it. I fully accept I'm not going float everyone's boat sexually.

I would just laugh it off and tell them they couldn't handle me.

[HansTwilight Retired ModeratorPE Gym Editor Member of the Month Jan 2017PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close HansTwilight]

In my experience, a lot of women I know will keep men as friends by leading them on so they can get their dose of validation, attention, ego boosts, and if they are lucky and the guy is dumb enough, resources. It's happening constantly at the place I work at. It's manipulation. If a guy wants sex and the girl doesn't, then fine, he has the right to walk away. I think it's just simply social code, society deems "friendzoning" as a rejection, so if the guy stays in it then it makes him look bad. It makes him look inferior to her. He has been rejected, turned down, and now is stuck having to settle for something he didn't want. Real men don't do that, they pursue what they want and if they don't get it, they move onto something else. I'm not saying it's fair or right, but it's just the way it is. And as a guy, this is how I feel about the whole thing.

[closed251 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close closed251]

Thanks for being my friend Tara. Somethings happened and I hope you are ok. XXOO.

Just normal Party, nothing to worry about.

I make friends really easily in real life especially with men at work. My office is about 90% men and there's 250+ of us.

I've only been back a few months, made friends slowly with a new man. Not friends outside of work but plenty of banter, drinks together on work nights out. Then comes, you guess it.... the suggestion of more.

I give honest reasons, said he was 10 years younger than me, and we work together, best not. Thought he was fine, bam I don't exist anymore and we work three desks away.

[HansTwilight Retired ModeratorPE Gym Editor Member of the Month Jan 2017PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close HansTwilight]

Just normal Party, nothing to worry about.

I make friends really easily in real life especially with men at work. My office is about 90% men and there's 250+ of us.

I've only been back a few months, made friends slowly with a new man. Not friends outside of work but plenty of banter, drinks together on work nights out. Then comes, you guess it.... the suggestion of more.

It give honest reasons, said he was 10 years younger than me, and we work together, best not. Thought he was fine, bam I don't exist anymore and we work three desks away.

Maybe he feels awkward about the whole thing?