Violent sexual fantasies

[Zyxciz Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Zyxciz]

As I've become more and more isolated, I find my sexual fantasies becoming violent again. I saw a rape scene in a movie titled The Accused and it turned me on. As a rape victim myself, I wouldn't want to put anyone through that. But it's my sex drive that's controlling this desire. Contact with real people and with women would be benificial for me. Through socializing, I can begin to see them as people instead of objects and a real bond can be made. However, my lack of relationships and sex still gets in the way of that. Moreover, I'm afraid that sex won't not feel good because my penis has become accustomed to dry masturbation throughout the years. I'm also circumcized. Do you think someone can have a normal relationship despite having such a violent fantasy?

Do you happen to have any weird fantasies? Where do you draw the line between what's considered okay when it comes to fantasies? Feel free to share.

[Dangler Senior Administrator☼ Wizard ☼ White Tiger Award 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Dangler]

Best not to mix or contamininate your fantasies with real life and your real life with your fantasies.

Leave the two completely separate. You start mixing the two and you'll get all Fooked up in the head.

[kickinthemebs Senior Member Member of the Month Feb 2014 Find all posts View Profile Close kickinthemebs]

Maybe therapy?

[Zyxciz Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Zyxciz]

Maybe therapy?

Can it be "cured" though? I doubt it can go away but maybe it can lessen.

[IdealPenis Senior Member Member of the Month Feb 2019 Find all posts View Profile Close IdealPenis]

Can it be "cured" though? I doubt it can go away but maybe it can lessen.

It can be "cured" if that is your goal.
Get to a good psychotherapist.

You seem to never be in contact with psychotherapy, but you have beliefs about what it can/can not do. Even short term therapies (brief psychotherapy), including NLP, hypnosis, some forms of CBT can change your thoughts patterns quick.
It's like being a doctor that never experimented PE and it is sure PE is not possible.
Think about it.

[Ehhhm Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Ehhhm]

If you have been a victim yourself, you should most definitely seek counseling or therapy. You write about depression and isolation, and i hope that you receive some sort of help or treatment for your ailments?

I am not any kind of victim, and while having an almost regular sex life most of the time, have had masturbation fantasies, that i would never want to live out in reality. I guess it is like some say about porn polluting their sexual drive, with unrealistic acts. Fantasies, as fantasies, are good, but you should not let it control your drive. Rein it in from time to time, by actively fantasize about real sex, messy, ugly, chaotic and all that.

[closed291 Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Member of the Month June 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close closed291]

I agree with IdealPenis...Therapy or even journaling may be a help to you. Another benefit may be going to group therapy.

[D6ggy9tyle Senior Member Member of the Month April 2019 Find all posts View Profile Close D6ggy9tyle]

So, not sure what your porn habits are. But I remember going through a time I was single, and have read many others in the No-Fap community mention similar things, that as you develop more and more porn habits, you'll end up becoming interested and needing more and more odd things that maybe you're not actually interested in.

When I began to practice No-Fap, I noticed that I began to connect mentally and emotionally differently, and becoming more and more turned on by long sensual sexual fantasies that were much more sexual or Tantric.

That said, as a victim, you may be more inclined to such desires. As well as, human history has a long track record of rape and pillage, so there is a nature vs nurture quality to this drive.

That said, if you're open (in a not creepy way) with women as your interest in being a Dom, you'll find there's a lot of women who are most turned on being a Sub. Often to pretty extreme measures. A lot of women I've been with want things even rougher than I'm comfortable with doing.

So, with open communication you could definitely find yourself a significant other that will let you live out your fantasies in an appropriate setting.

All that said, if you think there's a chance thats a desire you may act on with the right set of circumstances, you'll definitely need to seek a professional to help.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

People can have all sorts of fantasy they do not want to play out . They are just that fantasy sometimes one can read too much into it.

[djmotion Senior Member Member of the Month March 2019 Find all posts View Profile Close djmotion]

The truth is I have similar fantasies to this and they do happen more when I'm isolated. I don't know if it's maybe the resentment and anger of being alone combined with the lack of sex that is causing it. Also an history of porn addiction and escalation to more violent porn.

These are just fantasies though and because you fantasize about it, it doesn't mean you are a bad person. What separates you from being good or bad is whether you choose to act on these violent fantasies.