How hard is hard?

[incogneeetoe Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2017*Special Appreciated Moderator Nov. 2021* PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close incogneeetoe]

We often see discussions on "ideal size", "how big is too big" and related topics. I think we can safely put these to rest (at least for a little while).

Today, I wonder about hardness.

Yesterday I was perusing reddit and came across a thread asking women of reddit to share NSFW hacks. It was an interesting thread, but one comment in particular caught my eye:

"Don't practice your deep throat skills on rigid objects. Real penises are not that hard, you want the squishy silicon stuff if you're ambitious and a perfectionist about your oral skills."

Now what does that mean? I am pretty rigid. My wife will often comment, in the moment, about how hard I am. Just last week she was trying cowgirl kept commenting on how hard I was.

These two thing got me to thinking. So I looked around reddit and found one sub called whenitgoesin. A sub dedicated to that moment when an man enters the woman, and I guess her reaction. I took a look at a few linked gifs (the Korean gov't, for better or worse, has blocked pornhub and related sights, so long videos were not available to me, just gifs). I was surprised to see how limp a lot of these guys were. I mean they had erections, but, from my perspective, they were about 60% EQ (of course the women were all in ecstasy, porn is stupid). At least 2/3 of the videos (I did not see all that many, maybe a half dozen) the guy was just not that hard. And these were the most popular videos, or at least the most popular I could access.

So I have to wonder, is that the norm?

I remember my wife used to try to initiate PIV when I was just 60% erect or so, as she thought that was "normal" hardness.

This seems to be an issue. Thoughts?

[D6ggy9tyle Senior Member Member of the Month April 2019 Find all posts View Profile Close D6ggy9tyle]

I think it's the result of masterbation/ejaculation habits. In a whole list of ways.

[closed251 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close closed251]

I think hardness is much more important than length and girth.

[Party Senior Member Member of the Month August 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Party]

I think hardness is much more important than length and girth.

Yes my wife has mentioned this too. In relating to our vibrater useshe said, “All I really need is your hard dick inside me.”
Interestingly yesterday during sex I put my hard shaft inside her, no thrusting, no clit action, she came multiple times. Get very tight pulsing at the base, after ten minutes, I almost came. It feels great and I grunt a lot , the positive feed back only gets her having stronger orgasms. Crazy, I know.

[incogneeetoe Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2017*Special Appreciated Moderator Nov. 2021* PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close incogneeetoe]

I think hardness is much more important than length and girth.

This is what my wife says.

Leads me to wonder about what I see in porn (limited as it may be) and other comments.
Is hardness a concern? Are most men just no that hard? Inquiring minds want to know...

[incogneeetoe Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2017*Special Appreciated Moderator Nov. 2021* PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close incogneeetoe]

Again I see a comment that references the large side guys not getting hard:

When asked "Anyone else find small dicks sexy?"

This one redditor answered:

Bi fellow. My opinion may not be as important as the female perspective but I think smaller ones are just as good as larger ones and certainly have their perks. I don't like receiving penetration and equate that to women who don't receive as much pleasure from PiV as both of us would rather get our mouths, hands, and toys involved. Smaller ones also tend to get harder and pretty much every penis lover agrees that hardness is sexier than bigness.

So, "Smaller ones also tend to get harder...". I still wonder about this, is EQ such a big issue with larger guys (at least outside of the PEGym community)?

I fall on the "larger" side of the spectrum, and I get hard. Stand up straight, no bend, solid hard. Always have. (Well, generally always have. There have been times...)

Do smaller ones get harder?

[tank0909 Senior Member Member of the Month Jan. 2019 Find all posts View Profile Close tank0909]

In porn, I've noticed the guys not always being fully erect but I just attributed it to them needing to perform for extended periods of time. I think "what's 2 + 2" and can lose my erection, so I couldn't imagine doing the scene production thing. I would think an EQ comparison pre/post PE by someone who started on the larger side would be helpful.

[incogneeetoe Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2017*Special Appreciated Moderator Nov. 2021* PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close incogneeetoe]

In porn, I've noticed the guys not always being fully erect but I just attributed it to them needing to perform for extended periods of time. I think "what's 2 + 2" and can lose my erection, so I couldn't imagine doing the scene production thing.

Yeah, not sure how good porn is for information.
Maybe amateur stuff?
I can loose EQ fairly easily during edging. During sex, on the other hand, it stays hard for a long time. Even after finishing.

I would think an EQ comparison pre/post PE by someone who started on the larger side would be helpful.

Ok, this I can answer to…
In considering EQ I think looking at just length does not really address the issue. So I’ll go with volume.
My starting volume was about 266.92 ml (16.29 in³ US), which, according to calcSD, is 2 times more voluminous than the average. Supposedly that made me bigger than 99.53% of guys.

My volume now is about 481.26 ml (29.37 in³ US), about 77% bigger by volume.

My EQ before was fine, never thought of it as a problem (y’know, generally). I thought I was hitting 100% EQ.
Now it is better (usually). The other day my wife got me, as she said, “too hard” she couldn’t ride cowgirl comfortable, needed me to soften a little.

I think a comparison of EQ pre and post PE for a smaller guy gaining into the big area would be good.

[tank0909 Senior Member Member of the Month Jan. 2019 Find all posts View Profile Close tank0909]

Maybe the amateur/homemade stuff. Even then, it may be difficult to find the average sized guys.

I can say that my EQ got better after I started PE and stayed on the better side as I gained. I haven't been able to do PE since the beginning of the year and noticed my EQ pretty much going back to its pre-PE state, as well as my size. (Reasons for stopping unrelated to PE) As with anything though, there are a multitude of factors. Diet, exercise, life stressors, etc.

[Davis Carter Banned Find all posts View Profile Close Davis Carter]

Hello mr. Incogneetoe, hello everyone.

You have posted on my thread "please help.." some answers; regarding my issue, and you've said that you are rock-hard 100% in all positions.

I post here to accuse you of lying ,and please do defend your statement.

After days of asking persons and checking porn clips and guys with erection quality,

I simply cannot find proof that A MALE can be 100% rock hard in all positions.

Here is what I wrote on my thread :

Hi! again guys, I feel like someone is lying to me,

Either something is going on..

Few replies on this thread showed me guys who said : I am 100% rock hard in all positions, yet, after a bit of asking here and there I got answers like : you cannot be rock-hard when girl is on top, etc.

I have spent TIME watching (without being aroused) PORN, just checking the guys cocks and erection power.

I find no clip in which the girl is on top and the guy has rock-hard erection,

Now, considering that PORN is something above reality, and guys there have even tons of viagra and special scenes to make everything look BETTER,

how come that they have softer erection in some positions ?

Doesn't that MEAN that it is absolutely normal to be SOFTER in some positions, example : girl on top ?

Because no matter what I do, I simply cannot get ULTRA ROCK HARD when girl is on top or in various positions, and I start to suspect that happens to everyone and it is normal;

..and the ones who said that they get rock-hard in all positions... lied.

What do you honestly ,think ? I really need to find the truth because I don't know what NORMAL is, after my INJURY.

Please understand me and give a HONEST

answer,
thank you

If anyone can prove that I am wrong and that anyone can get 100% rock hard in all positions, please tell me how is it possible to be rock hard in all positions .

Thank you

[closed253 Member Find all posts View Profile Close closed253]

Girl on top is a real challenge for 100% erections, it is for me, even when I was young, not that it is impossible but it can't compare to doggy. With doggy you have everything working for you, gravity, blood flow, the view= max erection. Women on top is very nice, very fun and satisfying however, but with me it happens with a 70% working erection.

[incogneeetoe Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2017*Special Appreciated Moderator Nov. 2021* PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close incogneeetoe]

Hello mr. Incogneetoe, hello everyone.

You have posted on my thread "please help.." some answers; regarding my issue, and you've said that you are rock-hard 100% in all positions.

I did indeed post in your thread. You asked for help and I offered. Not the first time, either.

I explained my history, I wrote some advice and tried to support you.
I gave examples from my experience, and in those examples I did say that I have been 100% EQ in every position. I get excited, I get fully hard. Does not seem all that far fetched to me.

And yet:

I post here to accuse you of lying ,and please do defend your statement.

Yes, that is correct. You did accuse me of lying. And here you do it again.
My first reaction was to walk away. I had offered help, I gave advice when asked. I followed up and tried to support you. But rather than take my experience and try to benefit you simply accuse me of lying. So I figure, ok, fine, I tried. You do not want my help.

Now you start again in a thread of my own. My first thought was to just ignore, but then I got a little hot. I thought further, "Would thou be so kind as to go procreate with thyself?"

If I am lying, why ask for more information?
What defense do you want?
Pictures?
Not going to happen.

After days of asking persons and checking porn clips and guys with erection quality,

I simply cannot find proof that A MALE can be 100% rock hard in all positions.

Try and search for a site called "pornhub", I am told it has a great deal of content.
(caveat: I do not use pornhub, it is blocked in my part of the world, but from what I read it is a good place for this kind of thing.)
Look for "Julian Rios" and "Leanna Heart".
(And I am unsure if this would be on there, they were porn figures back in my single days, 15 odd years ago, I was jealous of him)
For that matter, look up "doggy" or "cowgirl". I am pretty sure that some will have guys who are a little limp. I am also sure you will see guys who are 100% hard.

Here is what I wrote on my thread :

If anyone can prove that I am wrong and that anyone can get 100% rock hard in all positions, please tell me how is it possible to be rock hard in all positions .

Thank you

This idea of "proof" is an odd one to me. What exactly are you looking for in proof? I have been on this site for 5 years. I posted regularly about my journey from PreE and ED to successful sex now.
Why would I lie?
What do I have to gain?
I do not have any monetary benefit. I do not want to sell you anything. My ID is concealed, so there is no bragging rights. You and I will never meet in real life.

You want help, fine. Ask for help. But do not accuse those who want to help you.

These are what I can recommend:
Lie #1: Daily practice, edge, balloon, etc.
Lie #2: 5G tea along with healthy diet
Lie #3: Aerobic exercise
Lie #4: Yoga
Lie #5: Hot partner

I hope the rest of your day is as pleasant as you are.

[incogneeetoe Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2017*Special Appreciated Moderator Nov. 2021* PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close incogneeetoe]

Girl on top is a real challenge for 100% erections, it is for me, even when I was young, not that it is impossible but it can't compare to doggy. With doggy you have everything working for you, gravity, blood flow, the view= max erection. Women on top is very nice, very fun and satisfying however, but with me it happens with a 70% working erection.

Yeah doggy does it every time. Just her getting into position gets me to a skin splitting erection.

Cowgirl does pose difficulties. Gravity being the main one. I recall in my youth it did not take much effort, now it takes some.

That being said, I can get fully hard in cowgirl. I use the preceding position to get my excitement level up. Be it missionary or jockey, I use it to work up my EQ to 100% then we switch positions.

A couple of days ago we did that and the wife couldn't do it. I was "too hard". So we had to switch back to missionary.

If we stay in the cowgirl position the wife will have to work a little to keep my fully hard, but she does the job. A few times she used cowgirl to edge herself. She works herself into a high state of arousal for 10 minutes or so, just slowly using me to edge. That will keep me at 100% every time.

[closed259 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close closed259]

2nd to last post by incogneeetoe was so hilarious... turned downright Shakespearean mid-way through! Meanwhile the fellow with the accusatory finger has all but vanished into thin air... waiting for an opportune moment to strike again. Who'll be the target next time is everyone's guess.

Back to the question at hand: hardness seems to be the more primal sign of a robust and virile man, and that supposedly scores high with the dames. But then there is a site such as 'reuniting.info' (now defunct I believe) that promoted karezza -- sex minus the orgasm (orgasm being supposedly the cause of marital discord and tension) -- and I remember seeing it mentioned more than once that a 'soft' penis (perhaps barely erect?) was more conducive to sexual healing, idea being that its malleable quality adapted better to the shape of the woman's vagina. May sound a little New Age to some, but I wouldn't discount that idea outright either...

[incogneeetoe Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2017*Special Appreciated Moderator Nov. 2021* PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close incogneeetoe]

I've been practicing karezza for a few years now. Not strict, but definitely my sexual method. My wife does not.
I like taking the ejaculation out of the equation. Just in terms of PreE.

I do think that not ejaculating does impact erections.
The more I edge and have sex, for up to a week and a half, the harder they get. Then there is a drop off afte rthat.