Men unhappy after sex?

[closed251 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close closed251]

Just read the following in Men's Health:

The study found that 41% of male participants had experienced post-coital dysphoria in the four weeks before doing the survey. Four percent of those said they experienced it on a regular basis. Some of the feelings the men reported were feeling emotionless and empty. “I don’t want to be touched and want to be left alone” and “I feel unsatisfied, annoyed and very fidgety. All I really want is to leave and distract myself from everything I participated in,” was also common.

Does this happen to you?

Ive always thought men felt like women after sex... warm, fulfilled, happy, sleepy.

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

Maybe I'm a girl? Hell I always thought I was a lesbian because I liked girls so much. Oh and dogs.

[Jay1983 Senior MemberMember of the Month Apr 2014, Sept 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Jay1983]

Lmao

[MasterSchlort Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close MasterSchlort]

Didnt have much sex yet to be able to tell but the vast majority of the time I'm unhappy after masturbating.

[TheZZMan Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2018PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close TheZZMan]

I'm only disgruntled when promised a roll in the sheets and it doesn't happen for some reason. Usually it involves kids and them not keeping to a predictable schedule.

Just today, my wife thought our daughter worked from 12 to 7. So she got home later than normal, decided to tidy up the house a little, make herself a snack and at 3:40 came back to tease. I told her that we had to pick her up from work at 4 pm. So, a wonderful "window" was shut down for a silly reason. This type of stuff annoys me and is difficult for me to hide. I thought she knew what time she worked till, and I'm telling her to stop tidying and start eating. I said later "why do you think I was pushing you to hurry up?" And all the while, I'm in my head saying - I guess she is not in the mood.

[johnny_A1 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close johnny_A1]

It's the total opposite for me. I'm always wondering, "I hope she's enjoyed it, did I cum too fast, was it good to her, would she even honest, I hope I was big enough to fill her up, don't say nothing stupid."

Then from my previous relationship I really think about those things.

[incogneeetoe Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2017*Special Appreciated Moderator Nov. 2021* PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close incogneeetoe]

Just read the following in Men's Health:

The study found that 41% of male participants had experienced post-coital dysphoria in the four weeks before doing the survey. Four percent of those said they experienced it on a regular basis. Some of the feelings the men reported were feeling emotionless and empty. “I don’t want to be touched and want to be left alone” and “I feel unsatisfied, annoyed and very fidgety. All I really want is to leave and distract myself from everything I participated in,” was also common.

Does this happen to you?

Ive always thought men felt like women after sex... warm, fulfilled, happy, sleepy.

I can understand.
Dysphoria is "a profound state of unease or dissatisfaction". If the man is suffering from premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction then that could easily lead to said dissatisfaction.
And the quotes you cite do sound like men who have PreE.
There have been times when all I wanted to do was leave and distract myself.

And I have had discussions with guys who seek out one night stands, etc. Once they finish they just want out. They get their rocks off and no longer feel anything. I've specifically heard them say "emotionless and empty".

[closed251 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close closed251]

Aww Incog that so dreadful.

I was hoping it was wrong, they only survey just under 2000 men.

I wish everyone could feel the way I do after sex.

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

Aww Incog that so dreadful.

I was hoping it was wrong, they only survey just under 2000 men.

I wish everyone could feel the way I do after sex.

And that would be??

[Big Al AdministratorPEGym EditorMale Enhancement Coach Rep.PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Big Al]

And I have had discussions with guys who seek out one night stands, etc. Once they finish they just want out. They get their rocks off and no longer feel anything. I've specifically heard them say "emotionless and empty".

This is a common complaint. Perhaps the explanation is as simple as there being a correlation with the level of affection one has for their partner outside of immediate sexual contact.

The attempted divorcing of sex and deeper emotions can have negative consequences.

[incogneeetoe Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2017*Special Appreciated Moderator Nov. 2021* PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close incogneeetoe]

Aww Incog that so dreadful.

I was hoping it was wrong, they only survey just under 2000 men.

I wish everyone could feel the way I do after sex.

That may be part of the problem. We all want to make you feel that way (well, not really "you", I mean "you" as in sexual partners, not you "Tara", you know what I mean).
There is a pressure, be it real or imagined, on men to perform. A great many do not care or simply rise (sorry, no pun intended) to the occasion. However, performance anxiety is a real thing in the sack.

I know.

No matter how many times I have had successful enjoyable intercourse, I still have a moment of dread, and anxiety about initiating intercourse with my wife for fear that I will be either rejected or, if we do go through with it, unsuccessful. I won't get it up or I will cum too quickly. And I haven't had those problems in 3+ years. (Well, rejection happens, but it is not really rejection, more like postponement, but still feels crappy)

The forums here are full of men who have feelings of inadequacy. Be it due to perceived failings in size, lack of control or simply their body not functioning. For many of them there is an ongoing duality to the sex act. There is a strong instinctual drive to do it while at the same time there is a fear of doing it.

Add to that the sexual myth perpetrated by both porn and the romance industries. Porn is filled with virile men who get it up in seconds, keep it up for hours and pleasure multiple partners and then ejaculate on command. That has become the male epitome of sex.
On the other hand the romance novel and rom-com industry has lead us to believe that men need to be masters of foreplay, adept in multiple positions and attentive and giving. All while displaying a muscular chest and broad shoulders.

Fictitious sex lasts and lasts, culminating in a powerful orgasm for all involved. While the reality is often quite different. Usually its short, maybe minutes for some, it's awkward and the orgasm may be overshadowed by pressure to perform.

Is it any wonder these men feel unease or dissatisfaction?

[djmotion Senior Member Member of the Month March 2019 Find all posts View Profile Close djmotion]

Add to that the sexual myth perpetrated by both porn and the romance industries. Porn is filled with virile men who get it up in seconds, keep it up for hours and pleasure multiple partners and then ejaculate on command. That has become the male epitome of sex.
On the other hand the romance novel and rom-com industry has lead us to believe that men need to be masters of foreplay, adept in multiple positions and attentive and giving. All while displaying a muscular chest and broad shoulders.

Yes but all of this is just a "myth" as you said. These porn stars don't really last that long or get it up that easy. Majority of them take viagra and will work on getting hard before shooting the sex scene. Then they will also take breaks, this is why some sex scenes fade and then start again in a new position. Porn is just as fake as it gets so are romance novels/movies. Womens porn is fifty shades but that's just as fake as the porn we watch. I feel people need to step back into reality.

[djmotion Senior Member Member of the Month March 2019 Find all posts View Profile Close djmotion]

To Taras original post...

I tend to have an insane boost of confidence, don't know whether it's adrenaline or hormones but I feel almost egotistical. I can also feel love though (depending on the girl) and don't mind cuddling. Sometimes feels amazing to have sex with the girl you love and then just lie there naked and cuddling

If I don't love her then it's a different story and I'll just go for a cigarette, on games console, watch a movie or just talk to her. I would say my biggest emotion is shame for not being able to stop myself again lol I'm the kind that would prefer to wait for "the one" but I kind of don't believe in "the one" and don't want to live the rest of my life without sex.

[closed291 Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Member of the Month June 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close closed291]

Recreational sex is more than a transactional experience...sex is deeply personal, emotional, and spiritual.

There is a huge mistake in thinking that one can engage without any emotional and physical repercussions.

[djmotion Senior Member Member of the Month March 2019 Find all posts View Profile Close djmotion]

Recreational sex is more than a transactional experience...sex is deeply personal, emotional, and spiritual.

There is a huge mistake in thinking that one can engage without any emotional and physical repercussions.

It's true, even with a one night stand I feel love hormones being released and think she's amazing but if you don't love the girl then those feelings quickly fade after orgasm. With someone you love they tend to stick around longer. Even doing NoFap and not ejaculating in ages can make you feel love towards a girl you usually wouldn't consider then again those feelings quickly fade after ejaculation.

I feel mens emotions are far more driven by their sex drive.