Can men and women only be friends?

[tara123 Member Find all posts View Profile Close tara123]

The title pretty sums it up...

Can men and women be only freinds with no agenda of anything else on the table e.g relationship, fuck buddies, one night stand.

Would love to hear people's thoughts.

[Party Senior Member Member of the Month August 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Party]

The title pretty sums it up...

Can men and women be only freinds with no agenda of anything else on the table e.g relationship, fuck buddies, one night stand.

Would love to hear people's thoughts.

LOL. Funny I should respond to this.

I’m not sure. Even at 59 and with no female friends I really can’t say yes to a woman just being a friend.
im sure it’s possible. Last year working a job, yuck, my supervisor was a woman who had not much respect for me. I busted my ass and eventually she understood I was her equal without her title. Her attitude towards me changed, so much that afte I left for my own business again she would stop by to say hello. We are both happily married but there is, was, this underlying sexual tension. IDK. Maybe only on my part....but still...it was there.
When a man lays himself out there emotionally for a woman, there is more than just friendship.

[tara123 Member Find all posts View Profile Close tara123]

Well for me I've always had alot of male friends from being in first school and being from gen x would tout the line that whats between peoples legs wouldn't dictate friendships etc. Of course men and women can be friends with no sexual attraction.

But then today i realised all my male friends tick off the same boxes as my relationship partners.

Decent guys
Share same humour/ common interests
Average/ above average looks wise
All work and earn a reasonable wage

So maybe subconsciously I chose my male friends as potential partners?

Or maybe there just the people i like hence friends?

[Party Senior Member Member of the Month August 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Party]

Well for me I've always had alot of male friends from being in first school and being from gen x would tout the line that whats between peoples legs wouldn't dictate friendships etc. Of course men and women can be friends with no sexual attraction.

But then today i realised all my male friends tick off the same boxes as my relationship partners.

Decent guys
Share same humour/ common interests
Average/ above average looks wise
All work and earn a reasonable wage

So maybe subconsciously I chose my male friends as potential partners?

Or maybe there just the people i like hence friends?

I wonder? Have you ever crossed the friendship line with any of them? Have you ask some. Or maybe all of your male friends how they feel about you. You mite, but I doubt that you’d fined out they all are attracted to you, both emotionally. But hoping for more They Just don’t want to cross that line with you themselves so as not to have you exclude them.


Of course if they don’t take that chance, with potential loss, or rejection then they’ll live their lives wondering what mite have been.

[Dangler Senior Administrator☼ Wizard ☼ White Tiger Award 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Dangler]

Why not !

[JimmyDeansBigPeens Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close JimmyDeansBigPeens]

Yeah I definitely think men and women can be just friends. It's always seemed incredibly obvious to me, because there are a lot of women that I'm not attracted to at all that are still cool to hang out with and have around as part of the friend group. I think there are some people out there that think all men would bang (or at least want to bang) literally any woman that's still breathing, but I at least know I wouldn't.

But I also think it varies from person to person. Some people, for various reasons, wouldn't want to have friends of the opposite gender. For some people it might be because of experiences in their past making them feel uncomfortable around the opposite gender, other people might have other reasons.

When a man lays himself out there emotionally for a woman, there is more than just friendship.

This is one example of something that, in my experience, varies between different people. I've heard before that some men (probably happens to women too) can end up catching feelings for a friend through the process of emotional support. Basically I call it Depression Buddies. For me personally, I have those kinds of interactions with both women and men sometimes, but it's less common for men to be willing to open up about their emotional/mental health issues to other men. I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of dudes only ever had that kind of interaction with someone they're in a romantic relationship with. For me though, the feelings I get from those types of interactions, supporting people/being supported through depression, terrible life situations, etc, they don't feel like romantic feelings to me, it just feels like strong friendship feelings. Actually feels more like family-based feelings, the friends that I have that kind of connection with, both male and female, end up feeling like found-family to me.

There's probably plenty of other factors as well. I've noticed that some dudes catch feelings for women a lot more easily than I do. I also don't latch on to a woman even if I do have enough interest to ask her out. Like if she's in a relationship already, or is gay or into a different type of relationship than what I'm after, then I'll lose interest. But some people aren't like that, and can end up obsessed with someone, continuing to try to get with that person, instead of moving on and trying to find someone that's actually available. It's pretty unfortunate.

But then today i realised all my male friends tick off the same boxes as my relationship partners.

Decent guys
Share same humour/ common interests
Average/ above average looks wise
All work and earn a reasonable wage

So maybe subconsciously I chose my male friends as potential partners?

Or maybe there just the people i like hence friends?

For most of what you listed, the way I see it, it would make more sense the other way around. Of course you'd want the traits that make someone a good friend to also be present in a romantic partner. If you didn't have similar humor or common interests, you most likely either wouldn't have started hanging out with them through some kind of common interest, or wouldn't find them fun to be around in general.

For the stuff about working/wages, it's really common for people's friends to be from a similar economic background to them, because a lot of people after getting out of school meet new friends through their own work connections. Or you might just be someone that doesn't like being around lazy bums. That might even be related to how your friends look, because a lot of being "traditionally" attractive comes down to how well a person takes care of themselves. I've noticed that people who put little to no effort into their financial life, to the extent that they seem content to just live off welfare/their parents, they usually also don't put much effort into their appearance or physical health. My own anecdotal evidence is kinda limited, I'm only really thinking of 3 or 4 people that I know, but the hypothesis at least makes sense.

[Physdoc Retired Moderator Member of the Month July 2019 Find all posts View Profile Close Physdoc]

I think a guy and a woman can be friends without it going farther. I'm close really close friends with a woman. We became friends when she worked for me and we traveled in the US and internationally together several times. I remember her saying her husband liked when she traveled with me because he knew she was with someone he trusted and could watch out for her (odd because I've never met him). I must say that, especially after we didn't work together any more, when we met in some city the sexual tension in the air was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Our conversations run the gamut from mundane to explicit talk about sex. We haven't done anything, but its been close several times.

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

This whole concept has kept me in trouble for a long time. Although you may not know it I like to be friendly. I'll talk to anyone about anything and yes just talk. Now to some it looks like I'm flirting but I am not. I'm just finding out about the person or discussing ideas or politics or whatever. It means absolutely nothing. Even if it was a member of the opposite sex and she wanted to be more than just friends well that would be a whole other conversation. I am more than content just talking. Somehow when I do I get accused of flirting which I'm not. If I ever wanted to cross the line with a woman I would just tell them up front, of course in a nice way. Flirting takes way too much time.

[Frog Senior Member Member of the Month March 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close Frog]

For the most part no.
One or the other always crosses the line and if that does happen the others significant other always seems to have an issue no matter how subtle. I find myself no discussing specifics related to my clients with my partner because he had a bad experience with his ex-wife.

[MalikMasvidal Member Find all posts View Profile Close MalikMasvidal]

Well for me I've always had alot of male friends from being in first school and being from gen x would tout the line that whats between peoples legs wouldn't dictate friendships etc. Of course men and women can be friends with no sexual attraction.

But then today i realised all my male friends tick off the same boxes as my relationship partners.

Decent guys
Share same humour/ common interests
Average/ above average looks wise
All work and earn a reasonable wage

So maybe subconsciously I chose my male friends as potential partners?

Or maybe there just the people i like hence friends?

I believe this is also something that a lot of women are oblivious to, just because women don't fully understand the nature of men, just as men can't fully understand the nature of women. In general I'd say that women are more likely to have friends of the opposite gender than men, and thats because most of the time her guy friends ultimate goal is to get with her, theres different terms for them like oribiters, or these days they call them simps. What the woman gets is basically the boyfriend experience, without having to give sex, whereas the man will probably continue the "friendship" in hopes that he does get to be intimate and have a relationship, this is why often when a guy finally makes the shot on his female friend and if they reject him, he stops being friends with her, because if she doesn't treat him like a boyfriend then he's not obligated to act like a boyfriend anymore.

Like the way men are friends with each other, is very different to the way men act with female friends, that itself is evidence that men and women can't be just friends, theres almost always something more there. But like I said, a lot of times women are oblivious to this. Like if you were to randomly call up your single male friends and "confess your love" to them, or even ask them if they want to fuck, most of them, if not all, would not hesitate in accepting your offer.

[tara123 Member Find all posts View Profile Close tara123]

Like the way men are friends with each other, is very different to the way men act with female friends, that itself is evidence that men and women can't be just friends, theres almost always something more there. But like I said, a lot of times women are oblivious to this. Like if you were to randomly call up your single male friends and "confess your love" to them, or even ask them if they want to fuck, most of them, if not all, would not hesitate in accepting your offer.

Now this is true, for example I've noticed recently with my male friends that if they swear around me, they always apologise. Which i dont think they do around there other male friends.

Although I dont swear very often, I'm not offend by bad language, I'm over 40 and from a rough area so nothing is ever said that I would be shocked at.

I dont change how I interact between my male and female friends but I think some men do for there female friends.

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

We do it because we grew up being taught to respect women. I guess nowadays it''s offensive to respect them the way we were taught.

[southernprince Senior Member Member of the Month March 2021 Find all posts View Profile Close southernprince]

Men act differently with their male and female friends, but this doesn't mean that they can't be friends. It only shows that men are aware of the differences between the two sexes, and build different relationships with each of them.

[Physdoc Retired Moderator Member of the Month July 2019 Find all posts View Profile Close Physdoc]

Now this is true, for example I've noticed recently with my male friends that if they swear around me, they always apologise. Which i dont think they do around there other male friends.

Although I dont swear very often, I'm not offend by bad language, I'm over 40 and from a rough area so nothing is ever said that I would be shocked at.

I dont change how I interact between my male and female friends but I think some men do for there female friends.

I guess with me, it's more acting in a way that fits the situation and the other person. The woman friend I mentioned in an earlier post on this thread could throw around the F-word like a pro, so I did the same when we talked. We also talked freely about pretty graphic sex acts. If I was talking to a woman I didn't know very well, I'd keep it cleaner. Quite frankly, I do this because after a few decades on this planet I've learned that women are less likely to want a guy to talk with them lace with profanities or graphic sex talk. Once I realize they like going there, I'll adapt to that.

[tara123 Member Find all posts View Profile Close tara123]

We do it because we grew up being taught to respect women. I guess nowadays it''s offensive to respect them the way we were taught.

I don't find offensive, its nice. Same as when they call me luv, etc.

Its just a clear difference.