Problem with Porn

[Dawgsownsling Member Find all posts View Profile Close Dawgsownsling]

I think it's more relating to the emptiness of the act in a lot of porn, and the way the actors (keyword: actors) fuck. I've seen so many videos, especially professional, industry-type porn where the dude has no fucking clue how to eat pussy, the woman has no clue how to suck cock. They just bang mindlessly for 30 minutes, in-out-in-out, to a cheesy soundtrack and the woman's fake moans of pleasure.

Sex is a lot more than just vagina/penis action, it's a full sensory experience, replete with sounds and smells, and a lot of emotional baggage as well, whether most men care to admit it or not. In most porn, this side of the equation takes a backseat. Girl has fake tits/fake blonde hair dude has huge cock/ripped bod... Even for most of us PE'rs, (espcially post-gains PE'rs) this physical profile probably speaks for a very small fraction of dudes. Not really sex for the pleasure of the act or the connection between the partners. It's the erotic equivalent of a Hollywood movie - a commercial product first, a depiction of true human experience second, if at all.

However, by the same analogy, are all movies bad? Of course not... there's lot's of film that hold emotional and artistic weight. There is porn out there that isn't 'fake', involving two people who actually just want to fuck. Most of it is amateur, some of it isn't. Porn is changing, thanks to sites like Youporn and Redtube, where paying for porn isn't necessary and people can post their own videos. That isn't to say porn is any less addictive, but at least we're seeing more real people in porn. A lot of the arguments for the harmful nature of porn, such as unrealistic expectation, and exploitation of women, are less applicable to newere amateur porn.

RIB, if you're still reading this thread, you should try and watch less porn, if you haven't allready - no shit (and you CAN do it). But you should also ask yourself a few questions about your past and present relationships. Are you in a relationship right now, and is it with the same girl? Honestly, if all I got was head for two years, I'd probably start to get bored. I can't really blame you for letting your mind wander. If you were in a relationship involving actual sex, with a girl you cared about, you might find yourself concentrating on porn less. It definitely sounds like you really cared about this girl, but it also sounds like you were frustrated with her too. I don't think it's a straightforward case of too much porn, but also your relationship with this girl.

[need2impress Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close need2impress]

I have alway had a porn obsession. I masturbate at least once everyday sometimes 3-4 times a day. Is this a problem? I always thought this was kind of a guy thing..But after reading some of the other posts here, I'm thinking I might be incorrect.

[RIB2211 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close RIB2211]

I think it's more relating to the emptiness of the act in a lot of porn, and the way the actors (keyword: actors) fuck. I've seen so many videos, especially professional, industry-type porn where the dude has no fucking clue how to eat pussy, the woman has no clue how to suck cock. They just bang mindlessly for 30 minutes, in-out-in-out, to a cheesy soundtrack and the woman's fake moans of pleasure.

Sex is a lot more than just vagina/penis action, it's a full sensory experience, replete with sounds and smells, and a lot of emotional baggage as well, whether most men care to admit it or not. In most porn, this side of the equation takes a backseat. Girl has fake tits/fake blonde hair dude has huge cock/ripped bod... Even for most of us PE'rs, (espcially post-gains PE'rs) this physical profile probably speaks for a very small fraction of dudes. Not really sex for the pleasure of the act or the connection between the partners. It's the erotic equivalent of a Hollywood movie - a commercial product first, a depiction of true human experience second, if at all.

However, by the same analogy, are all movies bad? Of course not... there's lot's of film that hold emotional and artistic weight. There is porn out there that isn't 'fake', involving two people who actually just want to fuck. Most of it is amateur, some of it isn't. Porn is changing, thanks to sites like Youporn and Redtube, where paying for porn isn't necessary and people can post their own videos. That isn't to say porn is any less addictive, but at least we're seeing more real people in porn. A lot of the arguments for the harmful nature of porn, such as unrealistic expectation, and exploitation of women, are less applicable to newere amateur porn.

RIB, if you're still reading this thread, you should try and watch less porn, if you haven't allready - no shit (and you CAN do it). But you should also ask yourself a few questions about your past and present relationships. Are you in a relationship right now, and is it with the same girl? Honestly, if all I got was head for two years, I'd probably start to get bored. I can't really blame you for letting your mind wander. If you were in a relationship involving actual sex, with a girl you cared about, you might find yourself concentrating on porn less. It definitely sounds like you really cared about this girl, but it also sounds like you were frustrated with her too. I don't think it's a straightforward case of too much porn, but also your relationship with this girl.

Since I made this topic, I really have cut back on porn. I used to watch it just for the sake of watching it, but now I only have it on during PE. However, while I see a lot of light to your idea that I might have gotten bored with just the oral, I should point out that oral sex (ie. blowjobs) are my favorite thing. Half of the porn I watch is just oral...I guess you could say it is kind of my fetish?

[Thimsile Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Thimsile]

RIB, good job man. I always notice that if I don't watch porn for about a week, the desire disappears. Then the next time I watch porn for anything other than exercising, I feel the need to masturbate to it daily. It's really habit forming and can distract you from important things in life.

[Larger Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Larger]

I have to reply. I should have been more clear in my earlier thread, when I said not all porn is fake. A favorite of mine is..shit what is it. Been a while since I've gone to my bookmarks of free goodies (practicting self-control). I think it's xxxtube or something like that. I cannot look or I will not be on here for a few hours. I also am a recovering pornaholic. I'll say right now, I have a 300gig laptop, and I had like no porn on it per say. But I had four thumb drives (4g) full of some stuff I pirated. And I used to let Pamela Anderson do her thing for 8+ times a day (10-15 minutes each) before I found PE. When I was having issues in my life post-PE I would go for 4+ times a day (30+ minutes each).

Banana, I have a similar story like yours, except the opposite in terms of acts. She was really into giving head, and I really wanted sex. Haha. First chick I was with that emotions rather than just hormones were involved. But I really don't wanna get too into it, I still am not quite over her, and it's off topic.

RIB, I'm going to guess that chick was Catholic or some variation of Christianity. I'm personally not the relationship type, but yes, porn addiction will cause serious problems aside from EQ, as HT has said.

Todger, I have to agree and disagree. Sex is physical and emotional. Some people only want the physical because they don't want the emotional baggage. The connection is my favorite part about it. Two or more humans connecting together.

Just remember you porn addicts I will be watching you, hehehehhehehehe!

Eww, gross don't watch people watch the wankers wanking. Just playing.

Dawg, great points indeed. Very descriptive about relationship sex.

Everyone, first off masturbation isn't uncommon. I'm sure most boys and girls do it. Secondly people watching porn and masturbating to it is not new either. Sex is better than masturbation. People who can't have sex as much as they want to masturbate, because of their hermones. For me now, it's not about how many sessions (sex, masturbation, edging, whatever) you have but how enjoyable and long they are. I'll take my 3 hours of getting head, where the girl said, "Stop holding it. I know you can last a long time." over 5 quickies. That's my preference of course.

I believe the reason why people turn to porn is because they want a sure thing, and that's what porn is a fantasy it's not real--for the most part. You had a bad break up or you can't find a girl to do what you desire, so you turn to something that will do it no matter what. She won't complain that your dick is too small, or you're too fat, too poor, old whatever. Certain fetishes stem from the past of the person watching it. For example, someone who likes blowjobs might like seeing the person on their knees, because it's a sign of control. Like how people would kneel because they were submitting to the other. And perhaps someone who had a bad break up with a guy, might like to see a video of a guy getting his balls punched or slapped.

If you dwell in fantasy, then you will pretend your dick is big like the pornstars', and that's all it will be: Pretend. And in reality, your penis won't get bigger. I write and read fantasy, but I do other things as well.

Bottom line: Do you want to watch a pornstar dick, or have one?

It's time to prioritize and decide what's more important to you. I try not to drink too much, because alcohol consists of estrogen, and I really don't want more estrogen; testosterone is better for building muscles.

[lmorley Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close lmorley]

Wow. I actually read all the way through this thread. Here are a couple of questions and observations:

- Which of your girlfriends' religions (respectively) prevents them from intercourse and allows oral? Can anyone just name any religion that says no to premarital sex, but not premarital blowjobs? Really? You believe that?

- Owning between 3-73 GB of porn is no more depressing than a collection of the "Best of I Love Lucy" dvds, stamps, or comic books.

- Failure for a man to become erect during a blowjob is regularly caused by a variety of other non-porn related factors.

I do not understand the problem with porn. But humor me here, do any of the posters on this thread feel it is their own fault their girlfriends can't give them an erection?

[RIB2211 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close RIB2211]

My girlfriend (at the time) was Mormon. She felt guilty with all of the oral sex; in fact, usually after her monthly confessions or whatever it would take weeks or months before we would even do anything again.

[Larger Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Larger]

- Which of your girlfriends' religions (respectively) prevents them from intercourse and allows oral? Can anyone just name any religion that says no to premarital sex, but not premarital blowjobs? Really? You believe that?

I think it is them moving the line between sin and following the rules where they want it to be. "Oh, well I like to have sex before marriage, so I'm non-denomination." There are some religions where all you have to do to get into Heaven is raise your hands and say "I accept you God." I believe those people are fools. But that's a little off topic. I don't want to get into hypocrites.

My girlfriend (at the time) was Mormon. She felt guilty with all of the oral sex; in fact, usually after her monthly confessions or whatever it would take weeks or months before we would even do anything again.

Just like I said. Someone bending the rules for themselves. I've met some really freaky fake-Mormons.

- Owning between 3-73 GB of porn is no more depressing than a collection of the "Best of I Love Lucy" dvds, stamps, or comic books.

It's not about owning what you own, but what you do with it. For instance, I still have 4 thumb drives filled with porn, but I haven't opened them for over a year, so they don't effect me. Now if I just opened them and masturbated to it, then that's a problem.

Porn is to fulfill something you can't normally get from another person. There are exceptions though, like if you and your wife watch it together that's okay. Likewise, an addiction to anything can be bad, however each is causal for different consequences. I collect almost every book I have read and liked a lot. But I don't fantasize about being a character in it or read it over and over, I still go out quite frequently.

- Failure for a man to become erect during a blowjob is regularly caused by a variety of other non-porn related factors.

I strongly agree. Although porn still plays a factor.

I am positive that most things we experience are learned. Your first time having sex, it probably wasn't as easy or natural to you as it is now. Practice makes perfect. It's a little bit like muscle memory to me. Same thing like EQ, it is learned to get a boner when you imagine a girl you are talking to naked. This is similar to getting erect while dreaming about a pornstar or movie. To me it's better to be thinking about who you are with when you are with someone, not a star or starlet.

I do not understand the problem with porn. But humor me here, do any of the posters on this thread feel it is their own fault their girlfriends can't give them an erection?

Hmm, that's tough. Never had a girlfriend, nor have I wanted one either.

Porn in moderation is okay. Addiction of any kind is not.

I've covered this a bit in other threads about porn.

https://www.pegym.com/forums/beginne...html#post26214
https://www.pegym.com/forums/gym/418...html#post26814

Others have as well.
https://www.pegym.com/forums/gym/384...etox-join.html
Porn Addiction

Porn increases the urge to ejaculate. As many have said on here ejaculating a few times a week is probably healthy for the penis. Look at logs where people would not ejaculate that much, there gains are better than those who don't do it as often.

Porn increases ejaculation desire. Too much ejaculation is bad. Therefore, too much porn is bad.

Visiting a fantasy is okay, but residing in it is not.

[sacc Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close sacc]

[Radiohead Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Radiohead]

sacc

Thanks for reporting this. I banned his ass.

[kingpole Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close kingpole]

Yea!!

[Junkie Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Junkie]

Before me and my gf were together I was watching porn every day and masturbating a hell of a lot - quite often up to three times a day. Eventually when we got together and had sex (it was both our first times) you've no idea how embarrassing it was not being able to orgasm, probably the same if not more embarrassing than not being able to get it up. It took a lot of time (my gf was really understanding about this problem and helped me through it) but I cut back on the porn and eventually I could come if she was giving me a blowjob and then a little while after that I could do it when we had sex too. I still watch porn and masturbate but it's all about moderation. Every so often if I have a day where I'm horny as hell and masturbate 3 times a day I'll take a couple of days off before I get back into regular sex with my gf. We've been together just over 3 years now and our sexual relationship is great.

Basically to sum up that whole lot you just need to keep the porn in moderation - having 1GB of porn is a great library to choose from but don't watch it all in one go. Cut back slowly, don't try and go cold turkey, there's no need to delete all your porn and stop masturbating, keep the porn just watch it less and try and stop masturbating so much.

Hope reading this helps.

[White_Hawk Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close White_Hawk]

Freakin porn... I have the same problem...

[JohnSmith011 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close JohnSmith011]

Hey rib i also had a problem with porn but i decided one day that i wouldnt watch it anymore because it was affecting my erections it was making me horny when i didnt want to be. My sex/porn addiction was absoultly driving me crazy and i couldnt stop. But one day i woke up and decided i hate porn. Look what it does to me it has control over me and i hate when things of this world control me. i seek to be free from the addictions of my body and to enjoy peace. So i got that morning i sat down at my computer and i had a choice. Watch it and stay in this cycle of sexual addiction or click on the file and press delete and then empty my recycle bin. I just did it. I felt i had lost so much when i did it, but after the withdrawl that lasted a few days i just didnt watch it. I said to myself, if i let myself lose to this addiction i become what i hate. I couldnt stand the thought so i made a personal decsion that i wouldnt look at it anymore. Porn had robbed me of my passion for women and also skewed my view of them. I now refuse to allow myself to be controled by something that has only negative effects on my life and will bring nothing but habitual negativity. So it may not be easy for you but when you get up get on your computer and press delete. DO NOT LET IT WIN. it controls you, unless you decided to stand up and take back what was yours.

[supahappy Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close supahappy]

just cherry pick and keep a few of your best videos and pictures for times when you really need an erection (like measuring and if you need help getting it up a bit for a workout.