Swingers club

[spanky Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close spanky]

I'm going to a swingers club on couples night (well, couples or single ladies) tomorrow with an FWB.

I went last week on the normal night with a different girl, and it was kind of cock heavy - like 80/20 M to F. I mean that's OK, and it was fun, but I'm looking forward to a higher female ratio.

Bit nervous though, in a way. And it'll be her first time doing anything like this, so I've let her know it's cool, that she doesn't need to do anything she doesn't want to, and hopefully left her feeling that I'm totally on top of things, so that's cool.

They have a sauna, a big old hot tub, and a sex swing we're definitely going to use. Otherwise it's kind of unknown to me and I'm not sure what to expect.

Any experience, tips, advice etc? Thanks guys and gals x

[Novajelqer Banned Find all posts View Profile Close Novajelqer]

Very cool stuff. I have never tried a swinger scenario but was curious where did you find girls ready to swing with you? If that is private just pm me. Have fun at the swingers club.

[spanky Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close spanky]

Very cool stuff. I have never tried a swinger scenario but was curious where did you find girls ready to swing with you? If that is private just pm me. Have fun at the swingers club.

Not private at all but I guess the details might seem a bit self indulgent. I've been in an FWB thing with these two girls in question for a year or so, so it's not an overnight thing. And as far as being up for it goes, well, we're in our 30s and honestly I think it's as much our ages, so being a bit older and wiser and having been around the block a bit already, we're a bit more open to more "exotic" sex than we would have been at 20.

Mind you, while it's obviously not for everyone, I think a *lot* more women than you'd expect would be up for it given the right circumstances with someone they can trust. I mean what we're doing is experimenting and having fun. No pressure on anyone, and if she feels uncomfortable (or for that matter, if I do!), then we'll leave. If not, we keep it discreet and nobody needs to know except us, so either way, it's all good. I'm not sure it's even that unusual. Maybe not the norm, but I'm not sure it's "out there".

That said, I was told by a (real) pimp last year that I have a fkd up attitude to sex, so what do I know!

[BTBrian Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close BTBrian]

That said, I was told by a (real) pimp last year that I have a fkd up attitude to sex, so what do I know!

That doesn't surprise me, I always love reading about all your sexual hijinks!

[mrmark Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close mrmark]

I'm a member of 2 different swingers clubs and have been going for over a year now,best thing to do is to just be yourself and treat people with respect and remember no means no.There will always be more men than women thats just how it is but the ones that get to play are the ones that make a effort to communicate and not shrink into a corner,if you are talking to a couple don't ignore the male half no matter how hot his wife is infact if you get on well they will probably invite you to play without you asking.
As for single ladies just go and have a chat and see where it goes from there,one final thing some regualr members never play on every visit because they just enjoy the social side of things but trust me you will be hooked once you have tried it.

P.s remember hygiene is the biggest single factor if you want action,you will need to be spotless take some nice smelling shower gel with you to keep in your locker after you have had a shower there and rewash after every hour or so to keep fresh,i have lost count of the times people have turned up from work and gone straight to the play rooms without washing then complaining about no action! b.o is the biggest passion killer of all.Good luck

[MrBigDick Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrBigDick]

I'm a member of 2 different swingers clubs and have been going for over a year now,best thing to do is to just be yourself and treat people with respect and remember no means no.There will always be more men than women thats just how it is but the ones that get to play are the ones that make a effort to communicate and not shrink into a corner,if you are talking to a couple don't ignore the male half no matter how hot his wife is infact if you get on well they will probably invite you to play without you asking.
As for single ladies just go and have a chat and see where it goes from there,one final thing some regualr members never play on every visit because they just enjoy the social side of things but trust me you will be hooked once you have tried it.

P.s remember hygiene is the biggest single factor if you want action,you will need to be spotless take some nice smelling shower gel with you to keep in your locker after you have had a shower there and rewash after every hour or so to keep fresh,i have lost count of the times people have turned up from work and gone straight to the play rooms without washing then complaining about no action! b.o is the biggest passion killer of all.Good luck

I love hearing about swingers clubs and such but I know that I could never myself go to one.............well, let me back up, I could go to one, just to take it in and observe but not to actually partake in the sex...............it's not my thing but just for interest sake, I'd go.

[mrmark Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close mrmark]

I love hearing about swingers clubs and such but I know that I could never myself go to one.............well, let me back up, I could go to one, just to take it in and observe but not to actually partake in the sex...............it's not my thing but just for interest sake, I'd go.

Do it,i know you have had your fair of nut cases in the past and at least this way there is no commitment from anyone involved so at the end of the night everyone can go there seperate ways and leaves happy.A lot of people just want to watch which is absolutly fine and there is no pressure on anyone to do anything they don't want to do.

[spanky Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close spanky]

Thanks mrmark.
So we went.. on couples night, which was far better than the normal singles night. I think I'll probably blog about it soon, it was really interesting, and what great fun. I think the first girl I went with on singles night was more at home with that environment, and the second girl I went with on couples night was more at home with that environment instead. I preferred that too, far more adventurous and sociable, whereas singles night was just "who wants a fuck then?" and while that's fun, it's a bit empty. We went back home with a couple and got on great with them, they invited us back for a party in a few days, and apparently we're the first couple they'd met through swinging circles who they've ever invited out again. So that's wonderful What a lovely couple, what great fun.

Totally understand what you're saying about attitude. I mean I'm a confident guy, and not easily embarrassed (some of you might have noticed this) but I'm also not pushy or overexcited like a boy, misunderstanding the situation. Both times I've been I felt really comfortable and in great company. I'll definitely be going again. The girl I went with last night on couples night is quite a shy girl in a lot of ways, and I think I've brought her out of her shell somewhat. I'm not a judgemental person normally, so I think that's helped her feel she can let her guard down. Plus I don't know any of her friends so "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" as they say.

It's funny. In a way it's exactly the same as going out to a nightclub on the pull, but it's like you not only lifted the whole social veneer of pretending you don't want to get laid and you're not a creep or anything (as in "The Game") so you don't really need to play "The Game" .. but also you filtered out all the people who geuinely don't want to get laid. It's wonderful really. See I like this a lot. I have enough sex in my life that I can be choosy - and I think now I probably still would be even if I had had a year's drought, so I need to get to know someone a little first. I think you can tell in the first five minutes if anyone you meet is actually cool or not.

I felt completely at home in that envronment. Should I be worried about that? haha I don't know, but that really is kind of where my head's at. I love sex, and I'm not shy about it. At the same time, I respect people immensely more who have the genuine confidence and self-esteem to be as matter-of-fact about their sexuality too. See, half of "The Game" is to my mind about navigating the faces and social shields people put up so you can get to their true selves - or perhaps just to work out how to give them what they want and pretend you care - depends on what YOU want I suppose. I can see how that's appealing, but I can't be bothered. Especially with younger people, say under 30, who have the same insecurities and reservations time and time again. Tht's fine and all, but it can be boring and frustrating when the people you meet have really big blocks in their way, social pretensions and shields up. The swinger scene felt so much more liberated. And not in a "woo hoo I can shag anyone" way, which is the excitedness of a child who can't believe his luck, more in the "oh wow, these people are on my wavelength and I don't have to pretend to be someone I'm not" way.

Seriously, it's great. Probably not for beginners or youngsters trying to just satisfy themelves at anyone's expense, but for grownups... Wow. You know I could happily go to a night, and I wouldn't care whether I had sex 0 or 100 times as a result - just being in the company of liberated people (despite the odd idiot of course) is so rewarding. I wish I'd done this ten years ago.

Awesome time.

[spanky Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close spanky]

I love hearing about swingers clubs and such but I know that I could never myself go to one.............well, let me back up, I could go to one, just to take it in and observe but not to actually partake in the sex...............it's not my thing but just for interest sake, I'd go.

Do it,i know you have had your fair of nut cases in the past and at least this way there is no commitment from anyone involved so at the end of the night everyone can go there seperate ways and leaves happy.A lot of people just want to watch which is absolutly fine and there is no pressure on anyone to do anything they don't want to do.

+1. You should totally go. As he says, you don't have to do anything you don't want to. And I never felt under any pressure from anyone. I suspect the handful of idiots who don't get that and make things difficult or unpleasant don't last very long anyway. The two times I've been I have gone with a woman, and honestly, I don't know if I'd go alone, I feel like going alone I'd look to strangers like a chancer, just out for free sex and somehow assuming it was there on tap, whereas going with a woman, I don't look desperate for sex or like I'm just there to take my fill of anyone who gives me half a chance. That may or may not be true, but at least being there with a woman then nobody is likely to see me as a threat from the off. ( I'll save that for later haha ) Obviously with her there too, we would support each other socially anyway, and probably helped relieve any pressure, but either way, I found it the most pressure free environment. Way more than I imagined it might be.

You don't know until you try do you, and while it'll be something like you might imagine, I'm pretty sure you'll also find it quite different to what you might imagine in a lot of ways too. You've always struck me as a pretty sound, level-headed and all round good egg MBD. I think you'd really enjoy it, and maybe make some great new friends too ... or discover some secrets about your family you never epected! haha - that last bit is a joke

[mrmark Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close mrmark]

Glad you enjoyed it and i told you that you would be hooked!,on a more serious note i have a couple of fbs from outside of swinging who i known for sometime who go with me from time to time and they have come right out of there shells,the one would be too shy to even ask the price of something in a shop but now she is unstoppable people would never guess how she used to be if i told them.
I go on my own as well sometimes and that can be better because i like to spend most of the night there where as if i take a fb with me they want to leave after 2-3 hours.
I would never have guessed 5 years ago i would be taking part in gangbangs and orgies and other wild stuff but you never know whats round the corner,the only thing i do know is i will not be stopping any time soon.
Next relationship i have has got to be with someone who is open to the idea of swinging or someone who is already a swinger,but when i get a chance to shag as many women as i want in a night i am considering not having a relationship for quite a while,well if i could find a mentally stable women i might reconsider.

[spanky Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close spanky]

I would never have guessed 5 years ago i would be taking part in gangbangs and orgies and other wild stuff but you never know whats round the corner,the only thing i do know is i will not be stopping any time soon.
Next relationship i have has got to be with someone who is open to the idea of swinging or someone who is already a swinger,but when i get a chance to shag as many women as i want in a night i am considering not having a relationship for quite a while,well if i could find a mentally stable women i might reconsider.

Hearing you. I'm a year into this now and it's funny how once you open that door... BOOM - Had my first group last Christmas, and it's just snowballed from there - if you excuse the pun. No turning back

Thing is now, I don't think I'd want an exclusive sexual relationship again. FWB works pretty well at the moment anyway, so Let's see what happens eh

[MikeShlort Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close MikeShlort]

How does one find these gang bangs and orgies? Classified ads?

[spanky Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close spanky]

Well, swingers clubs are perfectly legal and dotted all over the place, and filled with people who do this sort of thing all the time who will be happy to show you the ropes. Or chains if you prefer

There are singles and bi nights as well as couples nights. Personally I'd rather go to couples nights. The first time I went on a normal night and it was really cock heavy, and while I have no problem with that, it wasn't so much what I was after. I found the couples night far more relaxed, sociable and welcoming. I'm sure you can google similar places and find them anyway.

The couple we went back with this weekend introduced us to a UK swingers website they use a bit which seems pretty legit. I'm sure there's no shortage of others.

Other than that, just be honest about it with girls you meet, take it in your stride and have no shame about it. The group sex opportunities will find you. How do I know this, and why is this the case? ... because WAY more people than you think are totally up for it. All you have to overcome is social and personal pressure. So be discreet and don't put her under any pressure.. and the parties will come.

Seriously, when was the last time you told a girl you'd just met, or just started seeing that you wanted another guy or girl to join you? And said it seriously like you meant it, not in a pussy way where the second she shows reluctance you back down and go "oh, never mind then," I mean in a way where she knows you're going to do it anyway. Not as a reflection on her, but just because that's the sort of sex you enjoy. No point having any shame about it is there.

Obviously that might not be the sort of sudden change you want to spring on your fiancée! No pressure. No strings.

I don't know how old you are, I'm in my 30s, and I think that may help, y'know meeting people who have been around and that, but I promise as soon as you start looking, you will be amazed at the opportunities that come your way.

Maybe you just need to find a friend or fwb or girlfriend who is already into this sort of thing or just as determined as you to explore it, then that will flick the switch and you'll be well away. That's kind of what happened to me a year ago, and what mrmark is saying about the shy girls he's turned

[spanky Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close spanky]

I want to tell you about my first threesome. I was living with a girl - as a lodger, not a partner - but also as a fuck buddy, and she told me about her first lesbian experience. the story was hot as hell. Then she arranged to meet up with the girl in question off her own back. Not necessarily for sex, though I dont know. Maybe telling me the story reminded her of this girl? Or maybe they just caught up every few months anyway. I genuinely don't know. Or care. Maybe she had this in mind all along? It's possible. Anyway, I basically said to her subtlely at any opportunity how I wanted to join in. I'd joke about how I might "accidentally walk in on them" and so on. But I never made a big deal out of it, or sat her down and looked her in the eyes to tell her that was what I wanted. I just carried on as normal, and left her in no misunderstanding that I was not only up for it - something a bit unusual y'know - but also that it was fine if nothing happened and I wasn't going to be weird about it.

And then the next thing you know...

Seriously. Make yourself available. that's all you have to do. It's a bit like copping off. The less available you are, the more experienced you appear, and the easier you feel about whatever might "just happen" ... then the more will come your way.

That's how you get into gangbangs and orgies. Exactly the same way you get laid... if casual sex is your thing of course. Just don't pull any punches over what you're into.