regrets at the end

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me."This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it."
2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
"This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
"Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying."
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."

[Dontrike Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Dontrike]

I have all of those regrets right now and only 18 years before I end up passing.

[Looking4more Retired Moderator Member of the Month Feb 2013PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Looking4more]

Many times when my kids were very young and we would be out somewhere together I would have mainly older gentlemen tell me the same thing. Don't get so caught up in the work and spend time with your children because they grow up so fast. I have always taken that advice seriously and have spent as much time as possible with my kids and wife and have never regretted a single moment of it. They are my life and everything I do has always revolved around them and will continue to be that way until my last day.

I need to work on staying in touch with friends more than I have but I think one reason I haven't is because I have always focused more on family. Friends are very important too and I imagine that since my children are grown now and doing their own things I will have more time to rekindle old friendships. Of course that will only happen if the Mrs will give me a little time here and there to do so. She has other things in mind for me since we have a lot more alone time, LOL!

[camaro Senior Member Member of the month June 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close camaro]

I have all of those regrets right now and only 18 years before I end up passing.

Passing what? A kidney stone?

[Dontrike Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Dontrike]

Passing what? A kidney stone?

It's just a joke I have that I will die when I am 53, after a very rough series of events that are also in the joke, but I wouldn't be surprised if they happened, and since I am 25 that is only 18 years left.

[Looking4more Retired Moderator Member of the Month Feb 2013PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Looking4more]

It's just a joke I have that I will die when I am 53, after a very rough series of events that are also in the joke, but I wouldn't be surprised if they happened, and since I am 25 that is only 18 years left.

Hey man, looks like you have 28 years left instead of just 18.

[not2big Senior Super ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close not2big]

When my kids were pre teens and teens, I left the house before 7:00 am and often did not return until after 8:00 pm. I also worked at least one Saturday a month. This is my biggest regret. Perhaps if I spent more time at home my oldest son would not have had spend time in drug rehab.

Until I went to my 45th HS reunion (my first) I was only in touch with one of my classmates. I now regularly lunch with at least ten of them on a regular basis. I am only in touch with one of my college classmates. Hopefully, i will reunite with more at my 50th reunion next year.

I also regret not doing enough charity work. I will try to get more involved in my remaining years.

[BossBoy93 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close BossBoy93]

I regret not graduating from high school. I regret not paying as much attention to wiser, older people when I was younger. I say I regret these things because I wish I could change them but to be honest I really don't care all that much. I'm happy right now. I have learned alot and so far this has been a great experience. I would never change what I have to say because it will make someone else content. That is cheat myself and whoever would have been content out of an experience. Our ideas should not be hidden. They should be heard. Regrets are mistakes and one should learn from them. Plus buried in these regrets are lessons that taught me to be the man I am today.

[Dontrike Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Dontrike]

Hey man, looks like you have 28 years left instead of just 18.

That it is, guess that was my fault for being up 24 hours and typing that. Maybe 43 wouldn't be as bad either.

[BigO AdministratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close BigO]

I have always tried to be the best father and husband I could be. Though being a hard worker, I got caught up in the "provider" mentality for a moment. I quickly learned that they need me more than the money. You can always make more money, but you can't make more time. I believe the saying goes, "Don't get so caught up making a living, that you forget to make a life."

As for friends, we moved around so much up until my early teens, that I never really established those kind of friendships. I see my wife on facebook talking to people she knew in grade school, and it baffles me. I just can't relate. Now that I'm older, I would rather have a few real friends (loyal) than a bunch of fake ones (fair-weathers).

I do wish I was more in touch with my extended family, more for my kid's sake than my own. Due to my father, I was ostracized and effectively black-sheeped. But I'm not so sure that type of closed minded mentality would do her any good anyway.

Amidst all this, I do choose to be happy. To drive through that mud hole for the hell of it, laugh often and be goofy, and not give a damn what people think. To pick people up when they're down, be positive, and see the good in everything.

Pegasus, you have made me think far to hard this morning, without enough coffee to properly do so But I'm sure this wisdom will stick with me, so thank you.

[billybrown Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close billybrown]

I like this thread. I don't have any major regrets in my mid 30s.... A minor regret I have is that I could have had sex with loads more women if I put the effort in to just chat with them a little bit when they showed interest. I was too much of a "relationship type of guy" and only allowed myself to have a short period in my life when I had constantly 4 fuck buddies who all knew about each other. I didn't even sweat for them.... Anyway, I still had my fair share of fun with women so this is not a major regret.

[MrsLooking4more Retired Super Moderator Member of the Month Feb 2013PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrsLooking4more]

Pegasus this is a great thread! Like the Mr says no regrets with the kiddies we spent a lot of time with them and still do now that they are adults. I do have to work more in the friendship area, even though I have friends that have been friends for many years but as the Mr alluded now that the kids are grown we spend a lot of time with each other .

My only regret is that I did not start learning sign language sooner. I became aware and fascinated with it in my teens and exposed to it n a daily basis in my twenty's from a coworker but other than basic hello and what's up? I did not learn more since the o worker could read lips. Learning to sign changed my life, my career (I was a Financial Advisor for 15 years), my dreams. I have come in contact with some really amazing people because I can communicate with them. I also get a career that allows me to be into everything, legal, medical, educational, etc. All my education is put to use and I have exponential learning but the best is working with victims of sexual abuse and helping them recover and be empowered. That is just amazing!

I also regret my memory loss after my car accident but was humbling to learn again and to see people in a different context. Having to learn everything all over again at 18 and I mean everything (like a child) gave me a complete new appreciation for disable people and most "healthy" people perception of them. I regret that I was one of those people "healthy" until I became the disable one. Even though I overcame the disability (traumatic brain injury), I learned my lesson and that is one regret I will not have. I went through the experience and learned and grew from it. Hope it helps me in my older age when then brain regresses.

I guess my only true regret is not having a close relationship with my mother but sometimes there is just so much that you can do after all it takes two to tango.

[popol5169 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2014 Find all posts View Profile Close popol5169]

Damn, harsh but interesting thread.

I'm still young, and yet I know I've missed so many opportunities to enjoy life, either by turning them down or by simply not trying to create them.

I guess I finally learned staying on my own I couldn't do much, so I'm trying to change things little by little.

I wish I was already feeling right into life, as most people of my age do, whether it be failures, successes, stupid attempts, pleasure, strong-will, I regret passively worrying about things that needed just acts, attempts, trials and errors.
Yes I kind of regret always pondering about things and not just giving them a shot and see what happens.

I regret not feeling entirely free , and open to everyhting that surrounds me. It seems like there's always the brain to restrain audacity, seems like I can never embrace all the luck and freedom I'm born with.

Happily enough I'm aware of this and have time to turn things around, although I know I've missed some things I won't come across anymore.

But then who cares, I should have no regret as what counts is present and what I'm doing in the moment, with an eye on the future.
There is no room for regretting the past, what's done is done and if it happened, well it simply means it had to happen and this is what build you as a human being.

There is no room to try and peer through past choices with eyes of the present time but to analyse and help make better decisions in the future.

As Marylin would say "Well... nobody's perfect."

[camaro Senior Member Member of the month June 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close camaro]

Am i the only one who noticed Pegasus has not shared his regrets?

[popol5169 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2014 Find all posts View Profile Close popol5169]

Well that's Pegasus, listening to and helping people out but not putting himself in the foreground.

You're right though, we definitely expect him to post them if he has any!