I can't do it

[CanIgrowPlease Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close CanIgrowPlease]

I had a plan to stop dry humping my bed to bust one and watching porn for about a month but I relapse every 2 or 3 days. Its honestly frustrating and depressing at the same time. Its a never ending cycle, I start my rehab from porn and dry humping- Couple of days later I get horny then watch porn then after I watch porn I dry hump my bed and bust one then I get depressed because I relapsed once again. I understand don't watch porn then you won't get horny but its so hard not to. Its hard not to get horny in today's society especially as a 19 year old virgin with raging hormones. It's stuff on tv about sex, my friends talk about sex, its sex everywhere in society and that depresses me because everyone is having sex but me. It's so many factors that contributes to this its crazy. I don't text or call not one girl in my phone at all !


And what holds me back from girls is everything people don't understand Im 19, a virgin, im short and im not attractive witj a pencil dick. My EQ was amazing but now its decent . I get no morning erections at all anymore. My routine to improve it sucks because I don't know what to do my routine is only 50 kegals every other day but my EQ hasn't increased yet. Im going off to college with no experience at all, girls show me no interest. I can't stop thinking about sex and its so hard not to watch porn because I can't get no girl at all so I watch porn then that turns to me turning to dry humping for a nut. Then I can't approach a girl because imma nice guy and we know nice guys finish last. Its so many things thats goes through my head its ridiculous. Its hard for me as a young black guy with a small penis and a virgin in today's society because most of the girls ate shallow and they don't know what they want. And no a therapist will not help my situation. Im honestly starting to give up and just say fuck it.

[turtler Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close turtler]

Oh well. I was gonna write something like, "You gotta accept set-backs. When breaking old habits, you're bound to fail quite a few times. The important thing is that you keep trying, and hopefully do a little better each time. Don't beat yourself up when you fail, because that way you're just reinforcing your negative attitude towards yourself"...

But what's the use? I already told you this, and you don't wanna listen. Because somehow you're convinced that you're the first 19 year old to ever have low self esteem, and that nobody else can understand what it's like... Or that things that have helped millions of people before you, somehow won't be useful to you.

So, I'm gonna say: Suffer, dude. It's part of life and it won't kill you. You'd be much better off listening to what people have told you here before, but wallowing in self pity is ok as well. Some day the hormones will quit raging, and you'll be able to see things more clearly... But for now, if you want to say fuck it, then say fuck it.

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

Okay be a baby and give up. Your loss not mine.Why do you want someone to do it for you or pat you on the back? At 19 it's about time you grow up boy. Either make your life better or just give up, go in a hole, and cry woe is me for the rest of your life. You see no one is going to do it for you. What a shame!

[burtybasset Retired Moderator Member of the Month May 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close burtybasset]

No one can make changes in your life but you, I can only offer encouragement, but this I will say - if being a nice guy is what's preventing you from meeting girls, then try not being so nice for a while. I'm pretty sure girls aren't interested in just having a yes man, with no spine. See a girl you like? Go tell her, don't give a crap if she likes it or not, you just paid her a compliment and bestowed some of your precious time to do so.

Change your behaviour, have a think about the guy you want to be and the type of girls you want to attract and start making changes toward this with a positive mind, keep telling yourself that you can't do something and you won't!

Are you waiting for permission from someone to start living your life? Because guess what? We are all equals, there is nobody above you who can tell you its okay you can start living now. It's only you that is standing in your way!

If you show no interest, people won't find you interesting, get some hobbies, take up boxing or martial arts or something, it would give you the discipline and self confidence you need and is always impressive to the ladies when your talking to them. Also just start making small talk with them, just to practice talking to girls because this seems to be a problem for you.

It's time to stop taking crap, this includes taking it from yourself, stop making excuses and start making changes or you will continue to be miserable and you will end up with many regrets.

As for your routine, try edging instead of masturbating, it should help with EQ and throw in a few light jelqs, but watch PI's. Nobody is saying stop masturbating, just knock the porn on the head, because it's sounds like it's messing with your perception of people who are just as flawed as you!

I have said it before, but every girl I have been with has orgasmed well before penetration, if anyone has a problem with penis size it's their problem! There is always someone worse off than us, play the hand your dealt and bring down the house! If George Bush Jr can become president, then there is hope for us all!

[Dangler Senior Administrator☼ Wizard ☼ White Tiger Award 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Dangler]

Willpower, stay determined, stop the porn as it leads you to where you have a break down.
Tell your mattress it is over.
Get out of the house and enjoy life.

[OneEyedWilly Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close OneEyedWilly]

If you wallow in self pity and fail to take responsibility for your own actions, nothing will change. When you realize that only you are responsible for your own happiness, ( not your parents, or brother, or best friend ), will things get better. Negative thoughts and actions will only attract more negativity, the opposite is also true. In the end only you can decide who and what you want to be.

[CanIgrowPlease Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close CanIgrowPlease]

Its not easy to talk to girls for me- im inexperienced, not that good looking,short and im not packing. And thats why I revert back to porn or dry humping because I know in my mind who would want to be with me ? Is it anything special about myself.

[turtler Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close turtler]

I'd never thought I'd say this, but you should just go see a hooker and get your virginity over with. Seriously.

Not once have I heard you say anything nice about any girls. Never do you say, "oh, there's this girl I really like, wish I knew how to talk to her". Instead, it's all about how horny and miserable you are. So just go and get laid already. Afterwards, do a fist pump and feel good about it. Give yourself a break from your constant whimpering. It's gotten way old.

Then spend your time in college actually learning something. Study hard and build some of that character that inspires confidence.

[bolkonsky Banned Find all posts View Profile Close bolkonsky]

here is a gold nugget from me to you:

https://www.pegym.com/forums/relatio...-part-one.html

https://www.pegym.com/forums/relatio...-part-two.html


dont buy a hooker if you can help it...

And stop feeling bad about jerking off once ever 3 days... Nothing wrong with it.

[bolkonsky Banned Find all posts View Profile Close bolkonsky]

Its not easy to talk to girls for me- im inexperienced, not that good looking,short and im not packing. And thats why I revert back to porn or dry humping because I know in my mind who would want to be with me ? Is it anything special about myself.

So many women say the exact same thing to themselves.... Be happy. women are attracted to a positive happy guy.

[turtler Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close turtler]

Ah sweet! Bolkonsky to the rescue! Hopefully you can knock some alpha or something into this guy, cos I for one have given up for real.

[bolkonsky Banned Find all posts View Profile Close bolkonsky]

lol... some guys are just super sensitive. and yea your right you just have to walk away. who knows maybe he will read seduction threads and it might help him just a little.

[closed093 Member Find all posts View Profile Close closed093]

CanIGrowPlease you seriously need to listen to what these guys are saying!

Its you in control of your life nobody else. It's you who makes your decisions, you can sit there and criticise yourself all damn day but thats not helping you and you're just beating yourself up more and more! I'll be honest with you here dude, when i was 16/17 i got real bad acne and that hit a downward spiral for me. I fell into the same pit of despair that you're in right now and for months this was the same. Day after Day i was moping around thinking "i'm not good enough what have i got to offer, I'm ugly" and it just made me more and more depressed! I ended up going to get help for this and after medication it cleared up and i gained a little more confidence although after putting myself down so much i had destroyed my self confidence. At 18 i joined a gym, granted the first year or so i didnt have a clue about anything or nutrition but i kept going as when i had finished each day i felt good from working out. I gained more self confidence and i started learning more about myself, nutrition and feeling happier!

I always used to think i wasn't good enough and ugly but damn sitting around moping got me nowhere!! You have to get up off your ass and go make that change that you want. I'm 23 and i'm stupidly happy with my life now because of the changes I've made, I've improved my body in the gym i've learned a lot about myself i don't have a problem with attracting girls neither.

How can you expect a girl to like you if you don't like yourself? Have you got female friends? Ask their honest opinion of you. I asked my female friends when i felt down and they all said honestly no you aren't ugly its all in your head. So if you keep telling yourself you aren't good enough etc then you will start to convince yourself that its gospel. Focus on yourself now and improving your own self confidence, maybe join a gym do something instead of just sitting there and complaining. Actually make that first change and surround yourself with positive like minded people. Worry about losing your V and girls after you've addressed your own issues as once you've done these everything else will fall into place!

Be confident, be consistent. WIN!

[Closed039 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Closed039]

Yes....who would want to be with you when you don't want to be yourself? Its a tough pitch to any girl.

As for masturbating in the prone position which is what I think you are describing? Accounts vary as to whether or not it will actually cause physical damage to your dick or otherwise create sexual dysfunction but from the sounds of it, thats the least of your problems.

You gotta get your shit together.

[burtybasset Retired Moderator Member of the Month May 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close burtybasset]

Its not easy to talk to girls for me- im inexperienced, not that good looking,short and im not packing. And thats why I revert back to porn or dry humping because I know in my mind who would want to be with me ? Is it anything special about myself.

As bolkonsky says you seem pretty sensitive, that isn't a bad thing, some ladies actually love that, but they only way they are going to find out your all heart is if you open up and connect with them.

Letting your emotion turn inward and beating yourself up is unhealthy and it just becomes a downward spiral, unless you do something about it!

I'm short pale and ginger and not particularly hung either, I didn't have a great time in college or school, like you now I would beat myself up and tell myself all the negative crap that you are telling yourself now.

Years later, I slowly started to realise that I'm just like everyone else and years later did okay with the ladies, but I wished I had those miserable college years back. Boy, would I have a sit down and chat with that miserable little git.

You can keep posting here about how inexperienced, unattractive and un-hung you are and then go back to watching porn, but this pattern hasn't done much for you so far, so why not try something else? Wasn't it Einstein who said "the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result".

They say Napoleon had a micro penis and he was really short, but this guy was an evil genius and I'm pretty sure he did okay with the ladies too.