went 90 days no porn today and idk im dead...

[PursuingPerfection Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close PursuingPerfection]

made this to maybe motivate others. i made it today 90 days no porn. the urge is gone but to be honest, i have no sex drive. i feel dead inside. its probably issues that have nothing related to porn. during the reboot i had sex twice for the first time in 6 years. both times i was very drunk and to be honest the vaginas felt nothing like masturbating. there wasnt much grip. im now worried is bcuz my penis is skinny. idk. it still felt amazing but it just felt like loose folds thrusting against. anyways. this community is the shit. im super drunk right now. my sex drive is gone. i feel dead. it was hard to go 90 days without porn but to be honest i dont eeven have any urges for it or sex even though theres a girl who wants to have sex every nihgt. i still feel so small yet shes been with 15+ guys and says im one of the longest yet i still feel so small. she was a little heavy. her big thighs and vagina area was fat so it made my penis feel small. i was drunk so at max hard when i had se with her i was probably only 5.5. just felt like sliding through. no grip. little disapointed. this girl texts me every night wanting to have sex but i turn her down bcuz it just still feels so awkward to me. i feel so inaduquete, sorry for typos. anyays. yeah. me compared to 2 years ago on here..... i still cant believe i had sex lately when i avoided it like the fucking plauge years ago.

[PursuingPerfection Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close PursuingPerfection]

ive never had a relationship with a woman in mty entire life and im now 25. its sad. the only reason for it is bcuz i felt small. i measured my bpsfl and its now exactly 7.5 but i swear when im around a woman i get a little hard but it subsides when im with her. drunk those times of course but the anxiety i feel. its horrible. i want o fucking die!

[ForgottenOne Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ForgottenOne]

Okay, well, this might be the obvious answer, but wanting yourself to die is probably a bit drastic. Also, if you want someone to help you, it's a good idea to have a clearer mind. That means staying off the booze. As for the porn, I take it that you're familiar with the site, yourbrainonporn.com? If not, I believe you may benefit a lot by educating yourself on how addictions work.

The rest should probably be taken care of by seeing a professional. Don't worry, it's not a sign of weakness. Just think of it as a time in which you really need someone to talk to. And always, be honest about yourself.

[gingernuts Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close gingernuts]

Remember that drunk posting is discouraged dude, haha.

That said, sounds like you're in a flatline. Are you familiar with them? Not everyone is "cured" after a reboot of 90 days, and (I'm not an expert on all this, it's just my opinion) I would think drunk sex isn't the best way to rewire yourself to the real deal.

But hey! You had sex, twice!! That sounds like huge progress, and if I can do that after 90 days no porn, I'll be a happy man!!!

You feel small even though she says you're one of the longest she's had. At your stats she's probably not far wrong with that, I'd take this one at face value and be happy with it. Of course it won't feel as tight as your death-grip-fap-hand!

I know you're struggling with this stuff but the fact that you had sex for the first time in 6 years, that's MASSIVE motivation to me. (26 years old, haven't had sex for nearly 6 years due to porn induced ED and anxiety about it). I want sex with girls I start to get involved with, not drunken sex with a relative stranger... I'm not looking for the best feeling for my dick, I just want to connect on that level with girls who like me. If you're saying I can do that as long as I carry on the no porn, I'm sold. Day 53 here and counting!

Side note: do you masturbate? And/or how often?

[KFH Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close KFH]

Staying away from porn is a good idea. Staying away from booze when you're soon to be having sex might be another good idea.

You say you get anxious when you're about to have sex or having sex with a woman. Do you have underlying issues with social anxiety or generalised anxiety disorder, or would you say this anxiety stems from your insecurities from your size? I think a good thing to take away from this is that it will not be forever. What you need right now is more self-confidence in yourself and in the size of your penis. You have a long dick Pursuing Perfection. Your girth is slightly below average but as everyone on this forum knows - you can change that if you feel the need to through dedicated PE.

I had many drunk ONS afew years ago and my EQ was always terrible because my anxiety was through the roof. Then I met a girl, we started out as friends and we really began to bond. We developed a strong mutual trust and when we had sex I was always absolutely rock hard. There was no anxiety because I trusted her.

When you find yourself a woman and you really click, your sex drive will return with a vengeance and not only will your anxiety be lessened greatly but you will also be able to perform at such a greater potential with a higher EQ to boot.

Chin up and take it easy on yourself.