Sitters vs Standers

[TheAnimal220 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close TheAnimal220]

Hey everyone (apologies in advance for what might be an unsavory thread topic haha)

I just read something online, of which I was completely unaware... I read that when people sit down to go number 2 in the bathroom, roughly half of people wipe whilst sitting, and the other half wipes whilst standing up.

This baffled me... I always sit down, and I could not conceive of doing it whilst standing up. It would seem to me that it is much less hygienic, not to speak of the logistics of the ordeal. Wouldn't you be essentially cramming a fist full of toilet paper up your turd cutter? Must increase the risk of brown fingering yourself...

So I was wondering... Are you a sitter, or are you a stander?

[closed224 Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2014, Feb 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close closed224]

In the interests of science, and the advancement of knowledge. I am a sitter. Way to lazy to stand up.

[kickinthemebs Senior Member Member of the Month Feb 2014 Find all posts View Profile Close kickinthemebs]

I was baffled the other day when my housemate told me he did it while sitting. I didn't even know people did it that way! I always stand, and I thought everyone else did too until last week! Doing it while sitting seems so awkward, you can't get a good go at it!

[THOTbreaker Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close THOTbreaker]

I had no idea some people stand before wiping.

[Party Senior Member Member of the Month August 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Party]

What the???? There have been some crazy threads on this forum, I know, I started a few, butt damn. Ok I sit OMG

[drfrankencock Senior Member Member of the Month Oct 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close drfrankencock]

Well I really have to stand so she can get her tongue in there.

[turtler Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close turtler]

What the... Always thought there was one way only to do this. (For the record: sitting down)

File under: Things you didn't know and that you didn't know that you didn't know.

[spencerdiaz Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close spencerdiaz]

I stand. How else am I going to reach the back door?

[closed224 Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2014, Feb 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close closed224]

Well I really have to stand so she can get her tongue in there.

If my wife finds out I liked this we are both in serious shit.

[closed224 Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2014, Feb 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close closed224]

So now I have to ask the standers. Don't your cheeks slam shut when you stand up?

Also sitters do you one cheek sneak and go in from the side or right down the middle with a blitz move? I am a blitzer.

[TheAnimal220 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close TheAnimal220]

So now I have to ask the standers. Don't your cheeks slam shut when you stand up?

Also sitters do you one cheek sneak and go in from the side or right down the middle with a blitz move? I am a blitzer.

Right down the middle, man. Take 2 squares of double layered tp, fold and fold lengthwise, and wipe sack to back.

I tried standing just now. It was a mess. I got me some squat- and deadlift buttcheeks, and I just can't fathom how you people get a good wipe...

[elijohnson Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close elijohnson]

Standing. It's the only way to get the three seashells to work, obviously.

[closed224 Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2014, Feb 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close closed224]

So is this going to turn into a one side of the pond or the other? I am from the correct side of the pond, you know 'merica.

[spencerdiaz Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close spencerdiaz]

Right down the middle, man. Take 2 squares of double layered tp, fold and fold lengthwise, and wipe sack to back.

I tried standing just now. It was a mess. I got me some squat- and deadlift buttcheeks, and I just can't fathom how you people get a good wipe...

ive got a squat butt to but I can still wipe. I'm not standing all the way up though.

[elijohnson Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close elijohnson]

So is this going to turn into a one side of the pond or the other? I am from the correct side of the pond, you know 'merica.

Possibly. I bet it's another toilet thing. British loos are just different, I can't imagine anyone having the room to get an arm down there for a stationary butt wiping. You gotta get up. I never understood the 'dick touching the water' thing either. To do that here you'd need a 14 inch flaccid penis.

EDIT: just to try and make some sense of this I googled 'American Toilet' and ended up with this: http://i.imgur.com/Vx8LwHO.jpg

Dear oh dear.