The other laugh for the forum.

[FossilHead Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close FossilHead]

It's great to be Irish

A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I'll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back."
The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan's offer. One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. "Is your bet still good?" asks the Irishman.
The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses drinking them all back-to-back. The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement.

The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, "If ya don't mind me askin', where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?"
The Irishman replies, "Oh, I had to go to the pub down the street to be sure I could do it first."

[FossilHead Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close FossilHead]

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped forspeeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest'sbreath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.
He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"
"Naught but water," says the priest.
The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"
The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Oy, sweet Jaysus,He's done it again, lad!"

[Tamora Retired Super Moderator Member of the Month Aug 2015 PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Tamora]

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[Tamora Retired Super Moderator Member of the Month Aug 2015 PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Tamora]

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[Tamora Retired Super Moderator Member of the Month Aug 2015 PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Tamora]

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[FossilHead Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close FossilHead]

A most appropriate Blonde joke

There are three moms, a Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde.

They were all talking one day and the brunette says "Oh, my gosh! Y'all, I went through my daughter's purse the other day to get some gum, and I found an ounce of weed. I cannot believe she smokes weed!"

They comfort her, and the redhead says "Yeah, well I found a fake I. D. in my daughter's purse. She has to be using it to buy alcohol. I cannot believe she has one!”

So they all comfort her.

Then the blonde says "That's nothing. I found a condom in my daughter's purse……… I just cannot believe she has a penis."

[Tamora Retired Super Moderator Member of the Month Aug 2015 PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Tamora]

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[FossilHead Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close FossilHead]

Feeling a bit philosophical at the moment, thus:

Cosmic Dick Joke

How is the universe like an erect d!¢k ?

They say it has a beginning, but nobody can agree on just where it starts.
They say it expands at a terrific rate, but due to its size we just don’t notice it.
Some say that the length is theoretically infinite, but measurements prove otherwise.
Both black holes and vaginas are where normal universal rules of physics---- and apparently the universe, itself---- appear to end.
A ‘big bang’ supposedly started it, but that is really what ends it.

[FossilHead Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close FossilHead]

Don't try this at home: I'm a professional

So, a few days into their relationship, the new girlfriend hears that her beau is into PE. While at his place that night she asks him about it.


He tells her he was once below-average in size and gives her some basic information on what he did for the past 1.5 years, and that he now only does PE for the health benefits.


Curious, she says, “So what do you call all these devices and exercises you used to get a healthier penis?”


“Uhmmm, well, there’s my stretcher, and the hydraulic vacuum constriction device. Then there’s the clamp and the hanger. I used helicopter swings and slow cranks; some Horse squeezes and Slinky bends; and quite a bit of edging and ballooning.”








Her eyes wide, she exclaimed,“And the son of a bitch still works?!”

[Tamora Retired Super Moderator Member of the Month Aug 2015 PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Tamora]

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[FossilHead Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close FossilHead]

An Italian woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him 'Juan.'


Many years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mother. The mother is so surprised and happy, showing his picture to all her friends and neighbors.


A couple of weeks pass and she tells her husband, “This has been so wonderful. I just wish I also had a picture of Amal.”


Her husband responds, ''But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.''

[Tamora Retired Super Moderator Member of the Month Aug 2015 PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Tamora]

First person to spot and name the difference correctly gets some "greenies" for Christmas courtesy of lil' ol' me!

P.S. No mods or admin allowed!


Greenies.jpg

[Jay1983 Senior MemberMember of the Month Apr 2014, Sept 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Jay1983]

Gawsh darn panda..

I like the snowman that has a candy cane stuck in it's head lol

What are we comparing and naming exactly?

[Tamora Retired Super Moderator Member of the Month Aug 2015 PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Tamora]

And the winner is...Jay!!!

[Jay1983 Senior MemberMember of the Month Apr 2014, Sept 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Jay1983]

And the winner is...Jay!!!

Yay!!

Snowman #32 looks like he jelqed his carrot a little too much.