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Hello.
Before I start with me, I'm intrigued by something I encountered on my way to this sub-forum - female members! I'd think this would be the one place that most women wouldn't want to bother with (size fetishists aside). I haven't gotten to reading their hows and whys yet, and I'm uncertain if I'm comfortable doing so - yeah, it's a size thing.
Okay, the technical details - 40 year old cis-het Caucasian male, 5'6 (168cm), 72kg (160 pounds), not the Elephant Man but definitely got a face for telegraph (Radio requiring too much publicity for it's stars). I am uncircumcised, and aside from a few vain attempts in high school to figure out what my length was, I've never measured myself. All I know is that I'm small. The few women I've been involved with have never said anything bad about it at the time, although two have said post-breakup that they guys they left me for were bigger. Between that and the impossible standards of modern pornography, it's hard (pun intended) for a guy not to feel inadequate.
Okay, the long sordid history. Erections were something I recall from a young age. So much so, that when I started getting a sore penis around age 7, and my parents took me to a specialist, I told the doctor that sometimes I got hard, which he dismissed at the time. I know I felt dismissed because I though the erections were a problem too. Turns out the sore penis was urine getting trapped under the foreskin, or something like that. If I ever have a son I'll be arguing very hard for him to get the snip - no man should ever have to have the indignity of a uncircumcised penis, because most women prefer the head all nice an exposed. Throughout my teen years I was pretty much invisible to women as an object manhood, but, and here's the freaky part - I didn't masturbate. Seriously, I didn't even think to touch it. I'm not sure if it was some holdover from Catholic shame, or that I figured it was what a woman was supposed to help me with, or something else entirely, but masturbation just didn't occur to me. I knew about it, but figured that was something other guys did. I got hard all the time, and I had a massive collection of dirty magazines, but some connection just didn't occur.
This went on into university and my first girlfriend, who I wasn't attracted to and basically used me to boost her flagging ego and 'give the nerd a pity-fuck'. Needless to say, I didn't ejaculate for her either. I was worried I was gay, despite not getting aroused by guys. I was still otherwise invisible to women, so I was unhappy about that too. Even after the breakup (her moving away and moving on) messed with me. Another girlfriend a couple of years later helped a LOT. An older woman, we connected in our own way, and she took great pleasure in getting me to ejaculate for the first time. It was AWESOME!!!! It took our breakup for me to finally figure out how to do it for myself. It was fun and all, but it was a lot more fun when a woman was involved. Throughout my twenties my lack of adventures continued, and in the end I some ended up married to a woman I met online, and again was not very attracted to. I was of the belief that if she wanted to be with me she would change, and that if I was meant to be with her, I'd come to find her attractive. Turns out that isn't the case. I turned to using webporn to deal with my issues, and all that entails. We've definitely had a lot less sex than a married couple should, and when I do get erect, I hardly ever ejaculate. This was happening before we got married (after a couple of days of meeting, in fact), but I thought it was just me being useless, and that I could overcome it.
Last summer, I started realising something was wrong. The neighbours had a cute pet-sitter who liked to sunbathe naked in the backyard, but when I saw it, I was mentally interested but physically nothing happened. I started to wonder what was wrong, and in time became more and more concerned. I was realising that as much as I might care about my wife, sexually there was nothing going on there - and I'd spent the better years of a guy's life not doing the things I really should be doing. I started reading forums and books, and came across the NoFap community (yeah, I'm one of those guys). Aside from a slip-up in late April I haven't whacked off to webporn since 2 March this year. I'd make the argument that I'm still in recovery, but steps need to be taken. Since that time, I've altered my diet, started going to the gym, lost roughly 20kg (45lbs) and looked at how to confront some issues in my life. My wife and I are attending couples therapy, and while it would be nice to save our marriage, I have to be honest that it's hard to be attracted to a lazy slob who doesn't make an effort in anything that isn't 'fun' and benefits her (a guy, almost), who I'm pretty certain I married primarily because she was a woman who was interested in me.
I still have no confidence, despite the claims made to the contrary by NoFappers. My erections still aren't as regular as I would like, but as I'm not looking at porn (or masturbating), I'm not sure exactly how to tackle that either (maybe I'm an old guy, or maybe I'm just not meant to reproduce). I don't have much of a penis, but I'd like to at least have a decent-sized one so, that, if I ever get it regularly-working again, and somehow find someone I want to have sex with, she'll at least not have something mediocre inside her.
So, there you have it. Any insights, places to start, or Hell, even mockery, leave it below.
Before I start with me, I'm intrigued by something I encountered on my way to this sub-forum - female members! I'd think this would be the one place that most women wouldn't want to bother with (size fetishists aside). I haven't gotten to reading their hows and whys yet, and I'm uncertain if I'm comfortable doing so - yeah, it's a size thing.
Okay, the technical details - 40 year old cis-het Caucasian male, 5'6 (168cm), 72kg (160 pounds), not the Elephant Man but definitely got a face for telegraph (Radio requiring too much publicity for it's stars). I am uncircumcised, and aside from a few vain attempts in high school to figure out what my length was, I've never measured myself. All I know is that I'm small. The few women I've been involved with have never said anything bad about it at the time, although two have said post-breakup that they guys they left me for were bigger. Between that and the impossible standards of modern pornography, it's hard (pun intended) for a guy not to feel inadequate.
Okay, the long sordid history. Erections were something I recall from a young age. So much so, that when I started getting a sore penis around age 7, and my parents took me to a specialist, I told the doctor that sometimes I got hard, which he dismissed at the time. I know I felt dismissed because I though the erections were a problem too. Turns out the sore penis was urine getting trapped under the foreskin, or something like that. If I ever have a son I'll be arguing very hard for him to get the snip - no man should ever have to have the indignity of a uncircumcised penis, because most women prefer the head all nice an exposed. Throughout my teen years I was pretty much invisible to women as an object manhood, but, and here's the freaky part - I didn't masturbate. Seriously, I didn't even think to touch it. I'm not sure if it was some holdover from Catholic shame, or that I figured it was what a woman was supposed to help me with, or something else entirely, but masturbation just didn't occur to me. I knew about it, but figured that was something other guys did. I got hard all the time, and I had a massive collection of dirty magazines, but some connection just didn't occur.
This went on into university and my first girlfriend, who I wasn't attracted to and basically used me to boost her flagging ego and 'give the nerd a pity-fuck'. Needless to say, I didn't ejaculate for her either. I was worried I was gay, despite not getting aroused by guys. I was still otherwise invisible to women, so I was unhappy about that too. Even after the breakup (her moving away and moving on) messed with me. Another girlfriend a couple of years later helped a LOT. An older woman, we connected in our own way, and she took great pleasure in getting me to ejaculate for the first time. It was AWESOME!!!! It took our breakup for me to finally figure out how to do it for myself. It was fun and all, but it was a lot more fun when a woman was involved. Throughout my twenties my lack of adventures continued, and in the end I some ended up married to a woman I met online, and again was not very attracted to. I was of the belief that if she wanted to be with me she would change, and that if I was meant to be with her, I'd come to find her attractive. Turns out that isn't the case. I turned to using webporn to deal with my issues, and all that entails. We've definitely had a lot less sex than a married couple should, and when I do get erect, I hardly ever ejaculate. This was happening before we got married (after a couple of days of meeting, in fact), but I thought it was just me being useless, and that I could overcome it.
Last summer, I started realising something was wrong. The neighbours had a cute pet-sitter who liked to sunbathe naked in the backyard, but when I saw it, I was mentally interested but physically nothing happened. I started to wonder what was wrong, and in time became more and more concerned. I was realising that as much as I might care about my wife, sexually there was nothing going on there - and I'd spent the better years of a guy's life not doing the things I really should be doing. I started reading forums and books, and came across the NoFap community (yeah, I'm one of those guys). Aside from a slip-up in late April I haven't whacked off to webporn since 2 March this year. I'd make the argument that I'm still in recovery, but steps need to be taken. Since that time, I've altered my diet, started going to the gym, lost roughly 20kg (45lbs) and looked at how to confront some issues in my life. My wife and I are attending couples therapy, and while it would be nice to save our marriage, I have to be honest that it's hard to be attracted to a lazy slob who doesn't make an effort in anything that isn't 'fun' and benefits her (a guy, almost), who I'm pretty certain I married primarily because she was a woman who was interested in me.
I still have no confidence, despite the claims made to the contrary by NoFappers. My erections still aren't as regular as I would like, but as I'm not looking at porn (or masturbating), I'm not sure exactly how to tackle that either (maybe I'm an old guy, or maybe I'm just not meant to reproduce). I don't have much of a penis, but I'd like to at least have a decent-sized one so, that, if I ever get it regularly-working again, and somehow find someone I want to have sex with, she'll at least not have something mediocre inside her.
So, there you have it. Any insights, places to start, or Hell, even mockery, leave it below.
Member of the Month Oct 2017
lol I know, I know. The way some people talk, it's like Brisbane's two cities or something weird--like north and south are so different, they might as well be separated.
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