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Hello, yall. The title has two meanings: where do I even start my story and where do I even start my PE journey?
After an anxiety inducing sexual experience lately, I've sort of reached a point where I need to address my sexual issues. It feels weird even typing this but I guess I need to get it out there. I'll start by saying I'm not entirely straight, I'm bisexual and usually prefer to be with men, so I hope that this isn't an issue for anyone, but if it is then please stop reading here as I'm not trying to step on anyone's toes. I'm completely comfortable with my sexual orientation, so that's not the issue at all.
I guess it all started when I had a depressive period in my late teens. I'm 24 years old now, so this was probably 8 years ago. I started masturbating and watching porn young (probably 11-12) just for fun at first, like all of us, but then over time it got to the point where I would do it just to not feel depressed. I've since worked on my depression through therapists and (forgive me if this is a taboo subject here) psychedelics. I'm no longer depressed, but the habit stayed with me.
When I was 17 I met a woman I later lost my virginity to. We had a 5 year long, mostly long distance relationship. Over the course of that relationship we had a great sex life at first, and eventually we got more and more into BDSM, humiliation, and other sexual deviancy. We didn't ever do anything non-consensual or involving outside people. She encouraged me to explore my sexuality very much so, which was good in the sense that it helped me be more comfortable with identify as mostly homosexual, but was bad in the sense that it made my porn and masturbation addiction a much bigger problem.
I decided to end that relationship at 22, and we are still good friends and very sexually compatible, even having sex a few times after the relationship was over, even though we are very decidedly not a couple any more. We even tell each other about the other people we're having sex with and ask each other for advice and such. After ending the relationship I started working out consistently and got myself into a good job in a field that I enjoy, and my confidence and self-worth has skyrocketed. I haven't reached my goals yet as far as exercising or my career, but I'm making progress for sure, and am determined to stay consistent. My only issues are when I break my sobriety as I get lazy, but I've identified this problem and rarely do that.
Essentially our relationship started with me consistently masturbating to regular porn and ended with me even more consistently masturbating to even more hardcore porn, now with all sorts of toys and clothes, even though I rarely use them nowadays. Since we ended the relationship I've had a few sexual experiences with men. My first experience was under the influence of a substance which completely killed my erection, and I needed Cialis (I have no prescription) to counteract the effects. That experience went well, I was unable to orgasm because I was under the influence but I had no hang ups aftewards and it was a good time for both parties.
My next few sexual experiences were with a guy who I met online, they went well but I was slightly nervous beforehand so I'd take a dose of Cialis just in case. Once I needed a second dose as I still couldn't get it up before having sex. Eventually I broke it off with him. I then had an experience with a really attractive guy who I largely considered out of my league, so I was especially nervous. I took a dose of Cialis about 3 hours before meeting up, wasn't feeling the effects I wanted, took another dose with food, and then met up with him. He seemed to be pretty adverse to foreplay and not very communicative, so I opted to take another dose to push things along. As I was waiting for that to kick in, we switched spots and I made him orgasm. By that point I had an erection going and I was ready but he was spent so I didn't push it and we parted ways.
Throughout all of this I have at time tried to address my problems, but mostly some half assed attempts. Some failed NoFap attempts, once I made it 40-ish days out but I soon found myself back in my ways. I even did JP90 for about a week, but it was just inconvenient, mostly the warming up and cooling down due to my living situation. I'm currently considering buying a heating pad to make this much simpler. Can anyone give any advice on this method? It's just not convenient at all for me to warm up and down with a washcloth or a rice sock, and I know I won't be able to stay consistent resorting to those methods.
It's important to note that my erectile problems are completely mental. I have absolutely no problem getting an erection on my own, especially with porn. But the anxiety I've been having lately about sexual encounters is just getting worse and worse. As of now I've stopped watching porn since a few days ago. I am still masturbating at least once, sometimes up to four or so times a day. I'm not where I want to be at all but not watching porn is a step in the right direction. My next steps are to start JP90 again after buying a heating pad. My short term goals right now are to be doing JP90 consistently, masturbating once every seven days (I've read that this is the frequency that causes your body to produce peak testosterone, and can attest that after abstaining for 6 or so days I am filled with energy), and to reduce my anxiety associated with sexual encounters. My long term goals are to switch to a program that focuses on length and after that buy a Phallosan and wear that as much as possible.
Can anyone comment on my goals and especially how to reduce anxiety? Or maybe some personal stories you all have about your own experiences with this? I know I'm throwing a whole bunch out there, but I haven't even measured myself yet. That's not really my main goal right now. And this isn't my New Year's resolution, that's just coincidental. For what it's worth I know I'm around 4.75-5 NBPEL, 5.5 BPEL, but I don't even know if I measured myself right and I've never measured girth. Is there a guide somewhere on how to get your proper measurements? There's a lot of good information on this site and I've been trying to read through it all but there's just so much to digest. Thanks everyone, and happy New Year!
After an anxiety inducing sexual experience lately, I've sort of reached a point where I need to address my sexual issues. It feels weird even typing this but I guess I need to get it out there. I'll start by saying I'm not entirely straight, I'm bisexual and usually prefer to be with men, so I hope that this isn't an issue for anyone, but if it is then please stop reading here as I'm not trying to step on anyone's toes. I'm completely comfortable with my sexual orientation, so that's not the issue at all.
I guess it all started when I had a depressive period in my late teens. I'm 24 years old now, so this was probably 8 years ago. I started masturbating and watching porn young (probably 11-12) just for fun at first, like all of us, but then over time it got to the point where I would do it just to not feel depressed. I've since worked on my depression through therapists and (forgive me if this is a taboo subject here) psychedelics. I'm no longer depressed, but the habit stayed with me.
When I was 17 I met a woman I later lost my virginity to. We had a 5 year long, mostly long distance relationship. Over the course of that relationship we had a great sex life at first, and eventually we got more and more into BDSM, humiliation, and other sexual deviancy. We didn't ever do anything non-consensual or involving outside people. She encouraged me to explore my sexuality very much so, which was good in the sense that it helped me be more comfortable with identify as mostly homosexual, but was bad in the sense that it made my porn and masturbation addiction a much bigger problem.
I decided to end that relationship at 22, and we are still good friends and very sexually compatible, even having sex a few times after the relationship was over, even though we are very decidedly not a couple any more. We even tell each other about the other people we're having sex with and ask each other for advice and such. After ending the relationship I started working out consistently and got myself into a good job in a field that I enjoy, and my confidence and self-worth has skyrocketed. I haven't reached my goals yet as far as exercising or my career, but I'm making progress for sure, and am determined to stay consistent. My only issues are when I break my sobriety as I get lazy, but I've identified this problem and rarely do that.
Essentially our relationship started with me consistently masturbating to regular porn and ended with me even more consistently masturbating to even more hardcore porn, now with all sorts of toys and clothes, even though I rarely use them nowadays. Since we ended the relationship I've had a few sexual experiences with men. My first experience was under the influence of a substance which completely killed my erection, and I needed Cialis (I have no prescription) to counteract the effects. That experience went well, I was unable to orgasm because I was under the influence but I had no hang ups aftewards and it was a good time for both parties.
My next few sexual experiences were with a guy who I met online, they went well but I was slightly nervous beforehand so I'd take a dose of Cialis just in case. Once I needed a second dose as I still couldn't get it up before having sex. Eventually I broke it off with him. I then had an experience with a really attractive guy who I largely considered out of my league, so I was especially nervous. I took a dose of Cialis about 3 hours before meeting up, wasn't feeling the effects I wanted, took another dose with food, and then met up with him. He seemed to be pretty adverse to foreplay and not very communicative, so I opted to take another dose to push things along. As I was waiting for that to kick in, we switched spots and I made him orgasm. By that point I had an erection going and I was ready but he was spent so I didn't push it and we parted ways.
Throughout all of this I have at time tried to address my problems, but mostly some half assed attempts. Some failed NoFap attempts, once I made it 40-ish days out but I soon found myself back in my ways. I even did JP90 for about a week, but it was just inconvenient, mostly the warming up and cooling down due to my living situation. I'm currently considering buying a heating pad to make this much simpler. Can anyone give any advice on this method? It's just not convenient at all for me to warm up and down with a washcloth or a rice sock, and I know I won't be able to stay consistent resorting to those methods.
It's important to note that my erectile problems are completely mental. I have absolutely no problem getting an erection on my own, especially with porn. But the anxiety I've been having lately about sexual encounters is just getting worse and worse. As of now I've stopped watching porn since a few days ago. I am still masturbating at least once, sometimes up to four or so times a day. I'm not where I want to be at all but not watching porn is a step in the right direction. My next steps are to start JP90 again after buying a heating pad. My short term goals right now are to be doing JP90 consistently, masturbating once every seven days (I've read that this is the frequency that causes your body to produce peak testosterone, and can attest that after abstaining for 6 or so days I am filled with energy), and to reduce my anxiety associated with sexual encounters. My long term goals are to switch to a program that focuses on length and after that buy a Phallosan and wear that as much as possible.
Can anyone comment on my goals and especially how to reduce anxiety? Or maybe some personal stories you all have about your own experiences with this? I know I'm throwing a whole bunch out there, but I haven't even measured myself yet. That's not really my main goal right now. And this isn't my New Year's resolution, that's just coincidental. For what it's worth I know I'm around 4.75-5 NBPEL, 5.5 BPEL, but I don't even know if I measured myself right and I've never measured girth. Is there a guide somewhere on how to get your proper measurements? There's a lot of good information on this site and I've been trying to read through it all but there's just so much to digest. Thanks everyone, and happy New Year!
Admin of the Month Mar 2015
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